#butchtobutch

[literarygalpals]

"Butch to Buthch: A Love Song" Leslie Feinberg

In Butch to Butch: A Love Song, Leslie Feinberg takes us on a journey to understand the story behind a young butch’s first tie. Through a detailed memory, the story becomes more than an account of acquiring an accessory. It is a story about family, growth, identity, and pain. As the memory unravels, a central question comes to the forefront: how does a butch balance being tough with tenderness? This question appears and reappears through language and dialogue the narrator shares with their friends Butch Al and Jacqueline, but also other characters. This is demonstrated by the way Butch Al spends time nurturing the narrator’s strength and by the way Jacqueline encourages the narrator to be a compassionate and respectful lover. These moments of learning are organically imperfect and beautiful, significantly characterized by the language and conversation the characters share with each other. They are like instances of a child learning from their parents. However, during one of the moments that reads more as imperfect than beautiful, I am reminded of the ways language that has been reclaimed or deemed acceptable can be weaponized.

After experiencing an embarrassing night with one of the femmes that frequents the bar where the narrator and their friends spend their time, the butch-identifying narrator is referred to as a femme. Despite the fact that this term is used throughout the account, at this moment it is apparent that the word is meant to be insulting. This moment stands out to me because calling a butch a femme reminds me of the act of men being told they’re are acting or performing like girls. In those cases, this sort of insult is only successful when the group used to define the insult is accepted as being less than. Unfortunately, the notion that women are less than men has been prevalent in various societies for ages. So, I am wondering if it is fair to assume that the use of femme as an insult is an extension of this history or if it is something else entirely.

- Leoncia

[literarygalpals]

“Butch to butch: A love song” by Leslie Feinberg

This short story did a great job highlighting how you never know information that may be fleeting in the moment, might have significant effects in your life or identity development later on. I particularly enjoyed the scene where Al and Jackie were “grooming” the author on ways to successfully perform sex within a Butch role. First, Al tells the author more about the physical aspects of sex and the mechanics of the performance. Jackie’s conversation with the author presented a more nuanced viewpoint touching on the various emotions and perspectives one must navigate in order to be a conscious and aware lover. Jackie’s commentary on how to love femme women specifically offered insight, or advice, on ways not to cause further emotional harm to your lover by use of aggressive/masculine energy they may have encountered before.

Even in heteronormative spaces, comprehensive discussions of sexual education are something many communities have a hard time tackling, but this representation seemed very authentic and relatable. It almost seemed to be a reflection of a heteronormative, traditional family dynamic where a child receives sex ed “lessons” from a mom and dad. Mirroring two gendered points of view, here Al serves as the more masculine lens and Jackie as the feminine. I also like how this short story provided the club scene where the author states “the weight of sex was pressing in on me from without and within, and everyone at the bar knew it.” This just reiterates that universally awkward experience of identity development where you feel as if you’re operating under heightened forms of surveillance from peers when beginning to explore sensitive topics  (whether the pressure is accurate to reality or not).

-Katie

[literarygalpals]

Butch to Butch, Leslie Feinberg

I really enjoyed this short story and liked the way the author described the main character’s experience being a butch woman and discovering what being a butch is to her with no sugar coating, just telling her authentic experience like how it was. One of the parts that I thought was the most interesting was when the author discussed Butch Al’s lesson. It was always the same which was to toughen up. Later on, the main character becomes confused on how to strike the balance between being tough and being tender. Butch women are expected to be able to flawlessly portray this outer toughness and strength while still being able to be tender and loving with their partners. A common critic of butch-femme relationships is that they attempt to re-create the gendered imbalances of heterosexual relationships, with the butch in the masculine role and the femme in the feminine role. This lesson that Butch Al teaches (to be tough) coupled with the lesson that Jacqueline teaches (to be tender) demonstrates how butch lesbians are supposed to and expected to fulfill the masculine role while also holding on to their feminine tendencies. Tenderness is a more feminine trait and toughness a more masculine one and butch women are put into a difficult situation where they have to strike the balance between the two and can become lost in a world of gendered expectations.

-Emma