Summary: Franco Colapinto, a young, charismatic Argentinian businessman living in Madrid, known for his charm, success, and spotless reputation. Cara Aros , a sharp, elusive woman who refuses to play by anyone’s rules, especially his. No one would have expected the two of them to fall into a flirty game of guesses over coffee, but what starts as playful curiosity slowly unravels into something deeper, riskier, and dangerously close to the truth about the world Franco was born into, the one Cara is determined to expose.
Parts: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9
Pairing: mafia!Franco Colapinto x oc!female
Warnings: it is a mafia fic... so... the usual? lol
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The next morning, Franco walked in at 7:10 and gave Dani a look that said everything.
Dani sighed. “Usual?”
“Soy milk latte, cinnamon on top, medium. But don’t make it till she walks in.”
“Right,” Dani muttered, marking the cup with his usual indifference. “This is getting weird.”
Franco smirked. He left two euros for the tip jar without thinking, slid into his chair by the window, and opened his laptop like he always did, somewhere between performance art and actual working.
The game had rules now. Unspoken ones. No last name. No real answers, at least not ones either would ever confirm. But there was consistency, and buried in that consistency was something almost tender.
At 7:15, the door opened. She was wearing dark jeans, boots, and a long belted trench today, and she had that look again, the one that was halfway between amused and unimpressed, like she knew exactly how predictable he was. Franco didn’t bother greeting her. He just lifted his chin toward the counter. Dani was already moving with a deep sigh.
Leonor sat down without a word. Pulled out her phone. Ignored him for a full twenty seconds. Then said, “You really told him to wait until I arrived.”
“Tired of the ‘cold coffee’ insult.”
Her drink landed between them. She took one sip, then made a little approving noise in the back of her throat. “Not bad.”
Franco tapped his temple. “I evolve.”
“Slowly.”
“Still counts.”
He leaned back in his chair and studied her like he always did, like there were pieces of her somewhere he hadn’t seen yet, and all he had to do was ask the right question. She didn’t fidget, didn’t fill silences with noise. She let the quiet sit, like someone used to waiting out people’s nerves.
“You work in an office with a view,” he guessed.
“Why?”
“You don’t dress like someone who works underground.”
She raised an eyebrow. “You think window access equals power?”
“Window access equals status. And you have way too much status energy.”
Leonor tilted her head. “You have a whole aura of unpaid taxes and scamming people. And yet here we are.”
Franco laughed. “I’m gonna ignore the first half of that.”
“Probably wise.”
She took another sip of her drink. “You get one more turn.”
He smiled. “You like your job. But you hate your hours.”
She didn’t blink.
“Which means,” he continued, “you probably do something where results matter more than routine. Project-based. Maybe deadlines come in waves.”
Leonor looked amused. “Is that your guess?”
“Still working through it.”
“You’re talking like this is a murder trial.”
He raised an eyebrow. “Is it?”
“No comment.”
He pointed at her cup. “You always drink half of that and then leave.”
“Is that your guess?”
“No. That’s an observation.”
She gave him a tiny smile, the kind that didn’t touch her eyes but still landed somewhere warm.
“Your building has metal detectors at the front,” he said.
“Why?”
“Just a hunch.”
She took a slow sip and said nothing.
He leaned in slightly. “So I’m right.”
“You’re never right. You just sound confident enough to make people stop arguing.”
“That is literally how half of Europe’s economy works.”
She snorted quietly into her cup.
Franco looked at her for a beat. “Your mentor. The one with the coffee order. He’s not just some guy.”
“Of course not.”
“High up.”
Leonor didn’t respond.
“You admire him, but you also think he peaked ten years ago.”
She looked at him now, slightly more carefully. “You shouldn’t project like that.”
Franco smirked. “That hit a nerve.”
“You hit a cliché.”
“Which is only ever annoying when it’s true.”
Another pause. Then, “Go on, I had way too many turns, time for yours.”
Leonor set her drink down, leaned forward, eyes sharp. “You didn’t come to Spain just to study or start a business.”
Franco went still while she continued, “You came because you had to.”
“I didn’t say that.”
“You didn’t have to.”
She didn’t push further. Didn’t gloat. She just let the implication hang between them while sipping her drink like it wasn’t loaded with subtext.
He didn’t answer. Instead, he said, “You spend every Sunday alone.”
She looked faintly amused. “That sounds dramatic.”
“Let me guess, you say it’s your ‘reset day.’ But really you just like quiet because the rest of your week is constant noise.”
Leonor tilted her head. “Now who’s projecting?”
“I’m serious.”
“I do like quiet,” she said. “Doesn’t mean I spend it alone.”
“So you don’t?”
“I didn’t say that.”
He groaned. “You are infuriating.”
“Only because I’m better at this than you.”
The next day, it played out again. Franco walked in. Gave the order. Dani didn’t ask questions. She arrived on time, 7:15 like she was a swiss watch. Dani made her coffee the moment she stepped through the door. Franco waited until she sat before saying a word.
He slid her cup across the table. “We’ve officially developed a rhythm.”
“I hate rhythms.”
“Liar.”
She took a sip. “Maybe.”
“Okay,” Franco said, folding his arms. “Today, we go deeper. One real thing.”
“No guesses?”
“Oh, we’ll guess. But at the end, we each say one true thing. A sentence. No questions. No follow-ups.”
Leonor looked intrigued. “Why?”
“Ain’t worth it if we never know any actual truths.”
She considered. “Alright.” She nodded. “You start.”
Franco took a breath. “You don’t trust people easily.”
“That’s your guess?”
He nodded.
She shrugged. “True.”
Franco blinked. “Wait, what?”
“You wanted a true thing.”
“That was too easy. And not the end of… whatever this is.”
“Guess I’m getting lazy.”
He leaned in. “You miss your sisters.”
That caught her. Not visibly, but something shifted in her eyes. Just a flicker.
She smiled faintly. “You really think that’s a smart move?”
“Touchy?” She gave no reaction, but her eyes felt like they were reaching his soul. He nodded. “Okay. Your turn.”
“You’re not afraid of going up to anyone,” she said. “but you’re terrified of being actually seen.”
Franco froze and smiled, a little too slowly. “That’s a good one,” he said.
“I know.”
They sat for a long second. Then, finally, he said, “You may not want to talk about it, but I wish family was a more crucial part of my days.”
Leonor didn’t react. Just took another sip of her drink, considering his words. She set it down carefully. “My dad thinks I made the wrong choice.”
Franco nodded slowly. “What would he have picked for you?”
“A quieter life,” she said. “Something less... sharp.”
“Do you want that?”
“I wouldn’t know what to do with it.”
Franco looked at her across the table, the guesses forgotten for a moment, the game suspended in something quieter. More real.
She glanced at the time. “I have to go.”
He nodded. “Same time tomorrow?”
She stood, gathering her things. “Maybe.”
Franco smirked. “That’s the most consistent thing you’ve said all week.”
She paused before turning. “Don’t confuse routine with intimacy, Franco.”
He leaned back in his chair. “Wouldn’t dream of it.”
Then she walked out again, coffee nearly finished this time, leaving the chair across from him empty, but still somehow occupied.
I usually post fanfictions, aus, gifs, pictures and stuff about my studies. If you ever wanna talk to me my ask box is always open and I’m not biting in dms either. Only a tiny bit 😉 If you wanna see content on my blog of anything please don’t hold back and I will do my best to get it out there 🤗 Hope you will enjoy your browsing here 🧡
Someone brought it to my attention that the masterlist page sometimes doesn't work from phones, so I'm remaking my pinned post in a way that it will contain my full masterlist in it. Thank you anon for the heads up! 🧡
What can help me if you mention it in your request: OPEN/CLOSED
Character: driver/crew member/whatever you can think of
Relationships: friendships/siblings/relationships (past or present)
Ideas: any ideas you would like me to include
Realness: would you like me to follow real life events/schedule or can I step away from it?
Name: should I name the character, should it be Y/N or would you like me to use a given name?
Masterlist | Taglist/Queue | Request
(this is gonna be a pinned post, that I’m gonna refresh if things change)
FANFICTIONS
Symbols
🌠 - in the works
🎉 - special parts (holiday themed, present for someone)
🧾 - requested
❤️ - involves a relationship
🥀 - involves angst
👊 - involves a friendship
💥 - trigger warning
▶️ - link to another site
Series
Inquisitione (to find myself) - Pierre Gasly (for @x-lipstickstains-x 🎉)
Chapters: Part I 👊❤️ | Part II ❤️ | Part III ❤️🥀 | … | Special Part I 🎉❤️ | …
Characters: Pierre Gasly, Fleur Carmin
AO3: ▶️
Moodboard: 🖼️
False Confidence - Lando Norris
Parts: Chapter I 👊 | Chapter II 👊 | Chapter III 👊 | Chapter IV 👊 | Chapter V 👊 | Chapter VI 👊 | Chapter VII 👊 | Chapter VIII 👊 | Chapter IX 👊 | Chapter X 👊❤️ | Chapter XI 👊❤️
Translated parts: Chapter I 👊 | Chapter II 👊 | Chapter III 👊 | ...
Characters: Lando Norris, Daniel Ricciardo, Nyck de Vries, TBA
AO3: ▶️
Moodboard: 🖼️
Rhythm of Time - Mick Scumacher
Parts: Part I 👊 | Part II 👊 | Part III 👊 | Part IV 👊 | Part V 👊 | Part VI 👊💥 | Part VII 👊 | Part VIII 👊 | …
Characters: Mick Schumacher, Mona Timmons, Haas F1 Team
AO3: ▶️
Moodboard: TBA
Alive - George Russell
Parts: Teaser 💥 | Chapter I 💥👊 | Chapter II 👊 | …
Characters: George Russell, Alex Albon, TBA
AO3: ▶️
Moodboard: TBA
Pieces of our Love - Marcus Armstrong
Parts: One 👊 | …
Characters: Marcus Armstrong, Zasha Shwartzman, Robert Shwartzman, …
AO3: ▶️
Moodboard: TBA
AUs
This is my show - Alex Albon
Parts: Part I 💥 | ...
Characters: Alex Albon, Lily Muni He, George Russell, Lando Norris, OG female characters, TBA
AO3: ▶️
Moodboard: 🖼️
Oneshots
Teddy Bear - George Russell ❤️ | ▶️
Eyes Off You - Mick Schumacher 🧾❤️💥 | ▶️
Looking at me - Arthur Leclerc 🧾👊 | ▶️
Perfect Strangers - Mick Schumacher 🧾👊 | ▶️
A special holiday - Lance Stroll 🧾❤️ | ▶️
Flying High - Lando Norris 🧾❤️ | ▶️
Overwritten Plans - Nyck de Vries 🧾❤️💥 | ▶️
Prema Cooking Challenge - Marcus A. & Callum I. 🧾👊 | ▶️
Worth the wait - Mick Schumacher 🧾❤️ | ▶️
Almost Home Part I - Marcus Armstrong 🧾👊 | ▶️
We Don’t Have To Dance I. - George Russell 🧾❤️💥 | ▶️
Thank you so much for requesting! I already had an idea in my head for something like this and you just gave that last push! It was my first time writing in third person, and I really-really need the practice. Still I hope you will enjoy this 😀🧡
Have a great weekend everyone!
Inspiration song
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Getting a chance to walk a well known fashion show at the age of 19 was a huge step in her career. She had jobs and photoshoots all the time, but everyone knew that you’re becoming a name in the industry when well known brands ask you to model for them. She already had a photoshoot with one of them a year ago, but having that break since then and now made her think she probably wouldn’t make it into the real fashion world. However, after Alpha Tauri gave her a chance thanks to Pierre, she was contacted by a well known brand just days after the release of the pictures and they asked her to attend their show at the end of the year. Having the promise of such a big show got her through every harder moment throughout the year and she felt like December couldn’t turn up quick enough.
Luckily as it was well after the end of the season for Pierre he could attend with their parents and siblings. She couldn’t even imagine going through something like this without them. Y/N used her last two guest seats to invite both Charles and Arthur. They were friends of their family and she knew Charles was into fashion and would always take the opportunity to attend shows. He probably could have bought tickets to it himself, but it wasn’t the same as being invited by someone who worked for the company that time. It was also probably the only way to make it seem less strange that Y/N would have liked Arthur to attend. No one asked questions why he was there if he came with his brother. There’s no easier way to do it.
The two of them were quite good friends, as they spent most of their childhood together and later could connect over being younger siblings to well known athletes. It was probably easier for her as she at least went her own way while Arthur was following in Charles’ footsteps, exactly. He was a talented driver, but people and the media always loved to compare the brothers, always bringing down at least one of them even though they were never really in the same championship or position at the same time. They usually talked at least weekly, but after harder races or attacks from the media either Y/N reached out to him or the other way around. It was just easy to support each other as they understood each other’s challenges and hardships. They couldn’t complain though, as both had family and other friends who supported them in their careers and personal lives also.
“ They’re outside. ” Pierre’s voice got her to jump in her chair a little before Y/N took in what he said. “ I’ll get them to the seats and we will meet after the show, yeah? ” He asked, taking the passes from the table next to her. She knew they wouldn’t have time for her to greet their friends and get back here in time.
“ Yeah, thank you. Enjoy. ” Y/N nodded with a grin before getting a kiss on her cheek from him. “ I’m gonna try not to trip. ” She added with a chuckle before he left, watching as he closed the door after himself while she could still hear him laugh. She leaned back in her seat as everything was already done for the show, and it was now just minutes until the start of the show.
She finally chose a photo from the morning when we arrived at the avenue, to share it on her story. Making sure it uploaded fine she could see Arthur’s profile picture in the bottom left, telling her that he already saw it, making her smile immediately. Y/N sent him a quick selfie with her eyes closed and holding up a peace sign as the grin still didn’t leave her face. She was just about to put her phone down when he sent one back, mimicking her pose and making her laugh out loud. He did look silly and seeing Pierre so confused in the background of it just made it even better. She wanted to respond but then had to leave when they were calling her name from the hallway. With one last deep breath she fixed her hair in the mirror before leaving the dressing room and following all the girls to the backstage.
She felt like an anxious mess right until it was her turn and had to step out onto the stage as they counted down for her from the sideline. She made sure her dress wasn’t in the way of her steps, although knew they practiced for any possible outcome and knew she would manage even in a dodgy situation. Her heart was beating so loud Y/N wouldn’t have been surprised if the people watching the show could hear it over all the music and talking. She still tried to look cool on the outside, her grin not faltering for one bit as she walked down the length of the stage stopping at the end and turning for the cameras. Her way back was a bit more relaxed already, knowing she did her job and just had to get back from where they started. She had one more dress at the end of the show but that seemed a lot easier after such a smooth sailing first appearance. The second one felt like a treat for a job well done and she was ecstatic as she changed into her outfit for the after party. Her body felt sore from all the excitement and then adrenaline that already left. However, her mind was still running and looking forward to the night as she went to the lobby where she knew the others would be waiting for her.
“ You looked stunning out there, Y/N! ” Charles greeted her with a tight hug, making her chuckle quietly. Stepping back from his embrace the next ones were Pierre and her family before Y/N could finally turn to Arthur, not forgetting about him in any way.
“ Thank you for coming. ” Y/N said before hugging him, although it was something that was for his brother too, not just him. “ Hope you’re not too tired yet. We have a long night ahead of us. ” She let out another laugh after letting go of him but she didn’t even get to step away too much before he held up a bouquet of blooming flowers.
“ Just a little congratulatory present. Wanted to give it to you prior to the show, but that didn’t really work out. ” He said with a little blush creeping up onto his cheeks, as she took the flowers from his hands, immediately smelling them.
“ Thank you, they’re beautiful. ” Her eyes were still fixed on the bunch of them, taking in how sweet it was of Arthur. It was made from all of her favourite types of flowers, not missing any from the short list she could make up in her head. “ I’ll make sure they get home safe. Wouldn’t want to kill them at the club. ” Y/N let out a little laugh, turning to her mum while they exited the building together.
Luckily her family offered to take her things back home while they went straight to the venue of the after party. Her other siblings went home too after some last minute hugs, leaving the four of them to be the only ones to attend. There were cars that took the guests to the rooftop bar that was decorated perfectly for the occasion. The moon was shining onto the balcony, but there were also lights running over them, making sure everything was visible and people wouldn’t trip over each other or the few steps around the bar and dancefloor. It was the perfect setting for a party that was relaxed but at the same time a true after party, where everyone could let out their pent up energy and adrenaline from the show.
Minutes after they left the elevator, that took them to the floor of the balcony, they were already standing next to a table with their drinks on it. They were watching the crowd dancing just inches away from them while discussing the day. Pierre and Charles were deep into one of their usual disagreements about their past season, making Y/N shake her head. It wouldn’t have been them if they got through a day spent together without a silly argument. That would have been too easy. She has been watching the crowd blocking out the bickering coming from next to her, gathering courage to join the dancing even though she never backed off being the center of attention it wasn’t the same with strangers. She knew just a few people from here, almost half of it being the ones she invited herself.
“ A dance? ” She turned to Arthur in the end when she could see that his glass was empty. He froze for a second, looking around them. “ You don’t have to, but I would rather turn deaf from the loud music than them roasting each other. ” She chuckled, cocking her head towards her brother and Charles standing across them. She took the last sip of her drink and was about to get into the crowd when Arthur nodded and putting down the glass from his hand was ready to follow her.
“ I’m not a big dancer, I’m warning you. ” Arthur sighed, but wouldn’t have denied himself the chance to spend some time with her in a more private setting. They never mentioned anything about stepping up their friendship, but that didn’t mean they never thought about separately, in their own heads.
Y/N took his hand with a grin, pulling him towards the dance floor, weaving through the people standing close, leaving them a sliver of space to navigate their way. They had to stop a few times people stumbling in their way or bumping into them while they were getting closer to their destination. Y/N saw two of the girls she knew a bit better, and decided it will be better to be with friends than alone. Arthur greeted them, quickly introducing himself and even though they were already safe, standing in a less crowded space, in the moment Y/N didn’t let go of his hand while they enjoyed the music and the company. Arthur did take part in the dancing, although several of his moves ended up making them laugh and him blush a little although it never made him stop. He was happy to be the source of their joy for the night.
A few songs later Arthur excused himself from the group to get a drink for himself, while the girls stayed in the same position. Y/N spotted a few guys just seconds after he left, watching them, and approaching their group as soon as Arthur was out of the view. They were quite rude, not caring about how the girls tried to ignore them and get them to leave finally. Y/N was about to just leave and not even look back when she felt a hand come around her waist. Without looking up at the owner of the hand she got to know who was standing behind her by just the voice.
“ I think you should search for another company. The ladies aren’t interested. ” Arthur informed the intruders and by knowing him for years, Y/N could tell he was really focusing on the pronunciation. He seemed serious, like never before and it did the trick, getting the guys to turn around and leave mumbling some swears in his way.
“ Thank you! For both. ” Y/N smiled up at their saviour, taking the half full glass from his hand as he held it out for her. Arthur just shrugged his shoulders, relaxing his shoulders and taking a sip from his drink.
What they didn’t see was Pierre and Charles paying close attention to their group from afar. Her brother still had his fists clenched but he was slowly letting up as the situation got resolved and the younger ones could continue enjoying the party and drinks. Looking at each other they agreed with a sigh at being glad Arthur was there with them and helped them get out of a sticky situation. From the outside they did see how the younger Leclerc and Y/N were around each other, although neither of them wanted to push them towards a goal. It seemed simple, inevitable, but they wanted them to find their own way. It wasn’t rare that the only possible way wasn’t the best way in the end. Meaning, even if they looked compatible for an outsider, it was possible that a relationship between them wouldn’t be long-lived.
They stayed until their legs felt sore from dancing and standing around, and their minds were in a comfortable fuzzy state from the few drinks they got. The night wasn’t young anymore when they got into a taxi, heading for Pierre’s apartment that had enough space for all four of them. They all took turns in the shower and decided on who will sleep and where. There was only one guest bedroom and in the end Charles gladly gave it up to Y/N saying she was the one who worked today, taking the couch with a duvet and a pillow. She was about to just go and finally get a chance to fall asleep, when Arthur stepped out of the bathroom now in his pajamas. For a second she debated if she should just let him sleep on the other couch or maybe act on her idea.
“ We can share the bed if you would like. It's big enough for two people. ” She offered in the end, with a shy smile, pointing towards the bedroom down the hallway. “ I promise I won’t snore. Unlike Charl. ” Y/N let out a quiet laugh, making sure the mentioned brother didn’t hear it and wouldn’t try to get back at her for it.
Arthur had to agree with a sigh that sleeping in the same room as her brother, would have been on the same level as some late torture methods. He couldn’t really deny the offer, taking his things as they wished goodnight to the others and walked down to the bedroom. Within seconds they were both under the duvet, managing to share it and not pull it off the other one. They did start out quite far away from each other, but Y/N couldn’t be fed up when she woke up in the middle of the night to an arm draping over her waist. It grounded her while she had to get used to her surroundings and helped her get back to her dream right until the delicious smell of lunch got them back to reality around midday. They shared a moment, gazes locking, before getting out of bed with grins on their faces, both deciding to push the conversation to another time. At least until lunch, as Y/N’s stomach grumbled as soon as she was standing next to the bed.
I’m sorry for slacking in the last few days, I had a few things around uni I had to get done before sitting down and writing. But I’m now back with another Mick oneshot that I hope you guys will like 😊 Thank you for the request and wishing a great week for everyone 🥰🧡
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Looking through the closet Y/N really didn’t know what she should put on for the day that was comfortable but at the same time would look good. Usually she wouldn’t really care about looks and fashion if she wanted to dress comfy, but knowing how many cameras and photographers will be there during the day, she felt like it was a must this time. All the fans looked at those photos before or after the races, her being one of them as on several occasions those were the only way for her to see Mick other than during their FaceTime calls. However, this time she would be on them too, and even though she promised herself it wouldn’t matter, in the end it wasn’t that easy to get over. She did care about what the fans will think about her, although less than what Mick’s crew members and team members will. That was probably the most nerve wracking part of the weekend. Y/N already met some of them as she attended the first practice session on friday, but staying in the background and not even entering the garage meant she stayed a stranger to them until today.
“ You can take something from mine if you would like. ” She heard from behind him and turning her head towards the voice she could see Mick getting ready just a few meters away from her. “ I have some team stuff too, if you need anything. ” He added, pointing at the suitcase that was still half full with black-red Haas branded shirts and sweaters. Y/N’s anxiety was quite visible on her face, and he knew wearing his shirts sometimes helped calm her down somehow.
“ Maybe. I don’t know… ” Y/N let out a sigh, debating if her wearing his things would bring positive or negative feedback. In the end she just took one of her favourite shirts of his, pushing every thought back as she pulled the material over her head, tucking it into her jeans a little. When she stepped out of the closet Mick was ready too, sitting on the bed and waiting for her. “ Ready! ” She added when he looked up at her and with a nod got up from the bed.
As it was a home GP for Mick they were able to stay in his home rather than a hotel room and start the day from there. It wasn’t a long drive from the apartment to the circuit, giving Y/N just around 20 minutes to prepare herself mentally for the day. Luckily it wasn’t her driving and she could just watch the trees and houses go by as they passed them on the way. She knew everything felt strange because it was just her first time attending a race, and that hopefully if there was going to be a next time, it would be a bit calmer. She didn’t know how people will act towards her, but after getting through the first meetings it will be easier to be around them. It was usually just the first impressions that made her so anxious.
“ They’re going to love you, don’t worry about it. ” They were just turning off the road towards the private parking lot of the circuit when Y/N started bouncing her knee a little bit and Mick could see it from the corner of his eye. “ I would be really surprised if there would be anyone who doesn’t like you by the end of the day. ” He chuckled, looking to his right when the car was parked and with one last squeeze to her hand, they both got out of the vehicle.
‘ Just don’t jinx it. ’ Y/N let out a sigh, taking her backpack out before stepping right next to Mick as she didn’t know where they had to go first. He shared the schedule with her, but it was a bit too much information all together, and she couldn’t really remember everything that was on the papers. Knowing that she will be either next to Mick or someone else from the team during the whole day was enough for her.
Getting to the entrance they both let themselves in with their passes, Y/N needing a bit of help from him initially, and as they were walking down the paddock Mick took her hand in his. Just seconds later she spotted a few photographers turning their way, but somehow she didn’t care about them. She never really cared about being photographed until it was done by official photographers and not just jealous fans or paparazzi on the streets. She wanted her private life out of the media, keeping all her social media pages private and only posting for her friends and family. Y/N did rarely appear on Mick’s posts or stories, but he was observant of her choices and made sure she was always okay with whatever he wanted to put out. This one time she was even looking forward to the photos taken of them, but would never admit it to anyone. She may have even smiled at a few of them when they passed their booth before entering the Haas hospitality.
“ Well, they probably already like you. Not all partners are that happy about them taking photos. ” Mick let her get through the door first, stepping next to her again inside. It wasn’t a huge building, but looking around quickly Y/N knew she would probably manage to get lost alone. “ If you need food or anything it’s there, and if you need quiet you can always just go to my room upstairs. ” He pointed in different directions, showing everything to her as they went to the stairs and up to the second level of the building.
“ I’m probably gonna stay mostly just out of the way. ” Y/N let out a sigh, following him inside the little room and just putting down her backpack on the sofa. “ Am I even allowed into the garage? Or is it just this building and the stands for guests? ” She asked, watching as he was already packing out a few things from his own bag.
“ Of course you’re allowed. Even if you weren’t I would get them to somehow let you in. It’s your choice if you would like to watch it from the garage or a stand seat. ” Mick shrugged a little, looking up at her with a smile on his face. For him it was still hard to believe that she actually came to the race and didn’t run away yet. “ I’m sure you won’t distract anyone. They’re gonna sit you down somewhere and just continue with their jobs. ” He added when Y/N still didn’t look convinced one bit, even though she knew Mick would never lie to her about anything.
“ I’ll probably just go there with you, watch the race itself from the stands, and then go back to the garage after the race. ” She decided a few minutes later when they were already leaving the building as he had to get some interviews out of the way before getting ready for the main event. She already knew his PR people as they did sometimes meet up with him on non race days too. “ Even at home I can’t stay put while you’re racing. I would just drive them round the bend, but you're the only one who should be driving today. ” Y/N let out a laugh at her own joke, seeing as Mick just shook his head.
When they got to the media pen she let go of his hand, letting him do his job and watching him talk to the reporters from the sidelines. She was too far away to hear any of it, but seeing the constant smile on his face showed Y/N that he was enjoying the questions. They could be a bit prying into his private life occasionally, but mostly they just stayed with the sport and only asked about his performance and opinion on the races. She really didn’t know how someone could enjoy people always questioning them, but she knew it was a part of Mick’s career and even if he didn’t want to do it sometimes, he had to. For her it was enough to just watch them and probably would have never chosen to do an interview if it wasn’t a must. She knew the drivers had media training, Mick probably a lot more thanks to his family, but she still couldn’t imagine how it felt doing this almost every week.
“ Less exciting bit of the day done. ” Mick came up behind her, his arms circling her waist as she turned around to take a few pictures of the sunny paddocks. It wasn’t the usual weather for the German GP, and it looked quite mesmerizing with the sun shining onto the circuit for once. “ Hopefully the weather can stay the same for the race. ” He added with a sigh but a grin got on his face when the camera was turned and Y/N took a selfie of them, almost immediately sending it to their two-family group chat.
“ I wouldn’t mind a bit of sunbathing either. ” She nodded, sliding her phone back into her pockets and turned towards Mick to hug him back. They had a bit of time before he had to get back to the team building and get on with the schedule. “ I’ll probably just catch up with your family while you have meetings, and then meet the team during lunch. If you have enough time of course. ” Y/N added, still looking up at him, remembering that his family is attending the race too. They couldn’t come to all of them, but as they were here already, it wasn’t difficult for them to stay a few days longer and watch the race.
“ We will probably. The race starts later anyway. ” Mick nodded, only letting go of her when they had to get going. Even then he held her hand, pulling Y/N closer when it got crowded around them, so he wouldn’t lose her among all the people. “ I’m gonna go and find you afterwards. Have fun. ” They shared a quick kiss as they arrived at the building and went their different ways. Mick inside for his meetings while Y/N tried to not get lost as she got to the part of the paddocks where Mick’s family sat down for a coffee.
Luckily a few minutes later she was already sitting next to Gina with a coffee in front of her, meaning she didn’t take a wrong turn anywhere. Thanks to Y/N studying away from Germany and Mick travelling around the world they don’t always get to talk in person. It was mostly just phone calls or FaceTime calls when she was with Mick. She sometimes talked to Gina as they weren’t too far apart in age and had a few interests in common, but not as much with Corinna, even though she felt like a second mother to her. She never thought her boyfriend’s family would become such a big part of her life. Actually, until Mick they never really mattered to her, but Corinna and Gina had such a positive attitude towards their relationship and her from the first second she was introduced to them, that they felt like a second family. If Mick’s friends were just a bit like his family she had nothing to fear.
“ Oh Corinna, didn’t know you guys are gonna be here. ” Looking to their right they saw Seb coming up to them, and greeting everyone with a quick hug before he turned to Y/N. “ And even bigger surprise. It’s great to see you here finally. ” He said with a grin, stepping back after their embrace so they all could see Lance coming up to them. Probably because of Seb and not them.
“ I don’t think we’ve met before. I’m Y/N. ” She didn’t know where the courage came from to be so straight forward but hoped it won’t disappear in the next few minutes. She knew Seb pretty well already, as he was around Mick even on off days, and him being there helped her with opening up to Lance a bit.
“ I’m Lance and no, not yet. Although I’ve heard about you. ” Lance let out a little laugh while Y/N’s eyes went a bit wider than usual. “ Only good things. ” He added with a comforting smile, not wanting to scare her that she’s always a topic between them. She did remember a few occasions when Mick mentioned that he talks with Lance too, and not just Seb, but she never asked about the subject.
As they didn’t have to go anywhere, everyone decided that they would wait until Mick got to them. Since they arrived in the country they didn’t have more than a minute to sit still and talk with him, so they weren’t about to give up such a possibility. Y/N knew that Mick wouldn’t mind either, as he was always happy to catch up with friends, and after just a few minutes she didn’t mind either. Lance turned out to be a sweet person, just as Seb always was towards her and she actually was glad they met, and got to talk a little bit.
“ Are you usually travelling with him? ” Lance asked a bit later when they mentioned the next race and if she feels like attending again with all these new experiences.
“ Mostly just during the summer when uni is off my schedule. I usually just explored the cities while he raced. ” Y/N nodded a little, drinking the last bits of her coffee. “ Looks like I will watch the races instead of acting like a tourist. The timing is lucky, as I was about to run out of places to look at. ” She added with a smile, letting the waitress take away her empty cup.
“ Not many of us can get their partners to travel with them. He’s lucky with you in several ways. ” Lance let out a sigh, making Y/N blush and she was about to speak up when she felt two palms rest onto her shoulder.
“ I for sure am, even if I didn’t hear why. ” The owner of the hands spoke up, and a smile got on Y/N’s voice as she immediately recognized Mick’s voice, looking up at him for a second. “ Looks like you’re gonna meet everyone important on the first day. ” He glanced down at her before pulling a chair next to them so he could sit down too after greeting everyone.
“ I never feared your friends. The team is another different question. ” Y/N shook her head a little, looking at him for a bit too long before getting back to the conversation that got disrupted. They stayed right until lunchtime hit and they had to leave for their separate team building while Corinna and Gina went for a walk before the race.
The team members were intimidating at first as there were many of them and they were all curious about her, asking questions so they could get to know her. Luckily minutes after they sat down with their plates of food, everyone calmed down a little and they could finally find the common voice. In the end the meal was an experience that she could put onto the positive part of the list of the day. In the end she even found a few people to talk to while Mick was getting ready. She did go up to his drivers room a few minutes before they would leave, to have a few words with him before the race. He was already in his racing suit, although it was just halfway done, with the top half hanging down from his waist, and for a second Y/N forgot why she was there actually. Somehow the thin white material looked just as good on him as being shirtless did.
“ You’re off to the stands? ” Mick’s voice got her back from thoughts-land and she nodded as soon as her brain finally understood the question. “ We can meet here after the race if you want. They will let you guys in without any trouble. ” He offered, Y/N again just nodding as she didn’t trust her voice until he stepped back a little.
“ Yeah, that sounds good. ” She finally spoke up when Mick stepped back for one more thing and she felt like she could breathe again. “ Be careful. ” Y/N added, returning the quick kiss he initiated and it was a fight with herself to step back and leave the room. It was her first time she was here to witness moments like these, and Y/N couldn’t understand why she made the wait so long for herself.
From the moment she left the building everything happened as they discussed. She watched Mick race everyone and give his all from the stands, sitting next to Gina. They celebrated together with the crowd when the cars crossed the finish line for the last time and while he got the car back to the garage and parked it, they walked back down there. All three of them let the team congratulate him for a fantastic drive, before they stepped up to him one by one, Y/N closing the line. She didn’t really care as this way she could stay next to Mick from the moment he hugged her and didn’t have to step away until he went to change into normal clothing. In the end, even though they planned a private dinner, Y/N felt so secure with his team that they joined them in the hotel restaurant and celebrated the race together with everyone else working next to Mick and his teammate. However Y/N imagined this day would turn out, it exceeded all her expectations.
Thank you so much for requesting! I had lots of fun with this one 😂 and did leave it a bit open if maybe in the future someone would like a second part to this one. Hope you will like it, and have a lovely Monday! 🥰🧡
Inspiration song
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“ You okay alone? I have to go but wouldn’t want to bore you with press events. ” Seb turned to me after talking to Britta for a little, while I watched the mechanics tend to his car in the garage. “ You can stay here, I’m sure no one minds the company. ” He added, sending me a little smile, making me nod.
“ Yeah, I would probably get lost anyways if I went out there. ” I let out a laugh, staying in my seat next to the engineers as he gave me a quick hug and then left the garage, following Britta who was already telling him everything he needed to know. Today was the second time I met her, but I still liked her calm, collected demeanor and energy. I could see why Seb was so content about working with her for the past years.
While they were gone I watched as the team got ready for FP1 and the camera crews walked around the paddock, catching drivers for interviews and capturing moments for interludes they will have during the coverage of the practice rounds on TV. I was more familiar with watching the practices, qualis and races on TV than attending them, even though I would have had the chance to do so. Sebastian was a great friend of my dad, making him like an honorary uncle or godfather to me when I was a bit older and spent quite some time with him and Hana. I even looked after Emilie when they had somewhere to go and were sure I won’t put him in danger. We were lucky that I was trustworthy from a really young age, meaning they could trust me with him as soon as he was fine without Hana being there for a few hours. There wasn’t an occasion when I would have rejected babysitting the young Vettels.
“ Can I get a coffee from somewhere? ” I turned to Seb’s engineer when I saw he wasn’t occupied with something else. I really didn’t want to bother them as they were doing an important job here. At the same time, I needed directions not to get lost around the paddocks.
“ Of course. They have different kinds in the canteen. But we have a machine here too, if that’s enough for you. ” He pointed at a door in the hallway, making me follow his finger with my gaze. “ It’s the staff room, but driver guests are welcome to use it. ” He added with a smile which I returned, thanking him before standing up.
Inside the room I could easily spot the machine that was already going with a cup under it, slowly being filled with the dark liquid. While it finished up I took another cup and a capsule from the holder on the counter. When the machine turned off I quickly changed out the empty capsule and also the cup from it, putting it to the side. I was sure someone would come back for it later. Sure enough, just when the machine finished my coffee the door behind me opened. I was just looking for some sugar and creamer, not really paying attention to my surroundings, and jumping a little when someone greeted me. Turning back immediately my eyes met with a boy, who was around my age and I could recognise him as Mick. Probably anyone would have recognised him.
“ Sorry, didn’t want to scare you. ” He let out a chuckle, stepping to the counter next to me. “ Was this under the machine? ” He asked me pointing at the mug that I put to the side.
“ Yes. Hope you don’t mind me taking it out. ” I smiled at him stepping to my own cup and adding a bit of sugar and cream into it. “ Sugar? ” I asked him, handing the container to him when he nodded a little. I took a sip from it, to make sure it had enough of everything, before turning to the room.
“ You’re Y/N, right? ” He asked and although I nodded as an answer, I couldn’t help surprise getting onto my face. It wasn’t shocking that people knew his name and almost anything about him, but I couldn’t tell the same about me. “ Seb talks quite a lot about you. At least once every weekend. Also, I think we met before already. ” He explained, making me sigh and hide my face in my palm a little.
“ Never thought I would be a topic for Seb to mention all the time. ” I shook my head, leaving the room when he was ready and we went back to the garage together. “ Hope he only said good things about me. Although I’m pretty sure he probably embarrassed me already, even without me coming to races. ” I let out a sigh entering the garage and sitting down on my previous spot.
“ Not too embarrassing. Just the usual child stories. Although I would say they were more about his children, mentioning you on the way too. ” He shrugged a little, sitting down next to me, at the end of the ‘table’. “ But he made sure we knew you’re coming today. ” My eyes widened a little, before letting out a laugh. If people didn’t know him so well, they could have misunderstood me for one of his children. If I would have been younger, probably, as I was too old for that to be a possibility.
“ So I wasn’t even a surprise? That’s upsetting. ” I let out a sigh, swirling my cup a little, to dissolve the sugar on the bottom of my coffee, as the first sip was still quite bitter. “ Oh, congrats for the championship. I almost forgot. ” I let out a laugh, my hand slapping my forehead a little, as I realised how impolite I was with not even mentioning it.
“ It’s okay, but thank you. I’m just looking forward to the next season now. Gonna be quite a change. ” He smiled at me, shrugging a little but then his shoulders stayed a bit lifted as his muscles tensed. I looked up at him with an understanding smile.
“ You’re gonna get into it. First years are for getting used to the championship and the car. ” I told him, hoping I wasn’ saying something that sounded stupid. I followed the sport but wasn’t as knowledgeable about it as some fans. “ I’m sure every fan knows how hard it is. ” I added as I thought that could be a concern of his. His team loved him, I was sure they would support him however the next year turns out.
“ First seasons are always for learning, but… you know, they think experience comes easily with my name. ” He sighed, rather lifting his cup to his lips, probably to mask the smile fading away from his face. I couldn’t fault him though, there was probably immense pressure on him. Of course, mostly from the outside world, as people around him probably knew quite well how talented he was. Just as Seb always mentioned how skilled and kind he was.
Everything sped up when Seb and Charles arrived back at the garage and they started getting ready for practice. We mostly just stayed silent, sharing a few thoughts when something happened, so we won’t disturb the engineers and he can also mostly focus on the data and how everything went with Ferrari. I knew this was already his time to learn everything, and didn’t need any distractions. I was fully content with just watching the practice runs and how the crew worked around the car when it was brought back in before one more round around the circuit. I was just about to get a bit bored with everything when it was time for lunch and we could leave. For the afternoon I went for a little walk close to the track, and only met up again with Seb for dinner in the hotel’s restaurant.
I was a bit surprised when Mick joined us, but didn’t mind it one bit. He was funny and it felt like we have known each other for years already, even though this was just the second time in our whole lifetime. I could see Seb watching us, like a hawk, his grin not leaving his face once. I saw as he tried to speak up, the smirk giving him away, but by pushing his leg with mine I got him to close his mouth before uttering a sound. Britta almost choked on her next bite as she knew exactly what was happening, but tried playing it off. Luckily it didn’t seem like Mick realised what was happening around him, and I was glad Seb couldn’t make the night uncomfortable for everyone. He had that effect on situations like this, mostly when it was about me or his own children. They were lucky they were still too small to understand it.
“ You seemed to get on quite well. ” Seb spoke up when we were already on the floor of our rooms making me roll my eyes. He wasn’t someone I was about to have this conversation with gladly.
“ Well, he’s my age and kind. Not like you. ” I poked his side with my elbow, making the both of us laugh as we got to our rooms. With a quick goodnight both of us entered our separate rooms and got ready for the night. I was maybe looking forward to the next day a bit more than that day. Knowing I will have a bit more company made everything better.
The following day we got to the track early as Seb still had some interviews to do before practice. I knew we wouldn’t be able to have lunch together as the afternoon was about Qualification and he needed to focus, but I was sure I would find someone to eat with or maybe just go by myself this one time. What surprised me stepping inside the garage was Mick sitting in the same position as yesterday and a mug of piping hot coffee waiting for me next to his one. With a glare sent at Seb, who was snickering at the situation, I walked closer, sitting down on the stool. His gaze immediately lifted from his phone, looking at me with a smile.
“ Morning. ” I greeted him with the same smile, my hand moving to the cup in front of me. “ Is this for me? Or are you getting ready for a long day? ” I asked him chuckling, seeing as he shook his head a little, maybe even rolling his eyes.
“ Yours. The way you made it yesterday. Hope that’s really how you like it. ” He added, although I already got an answer to my question. It was really sweet of him to think about me, and even more, remembering how I made it just a day ago.
“ Thank you. Glad I didn’t hold back on the sugar then. ” I shook my head a little, taking a sip already and I was sure he followed my usual ‘recipe’ as it tasted the exact same way. “ Perfect! ” I added with a content sigh, my body finally waking up. I wasn’t made for early mornings, even though on most days I started my schedule quite early.
We had an almost exact repeat of the previous day, the only differences being that we had lunch, just the two of us, and that I stayed for the afternoon, watching the quali and rooting for Seb. I may have missed a few laps, being too distracted by our conversation but even when he only reached P13 I knew it wasn’t because of us not watching him. Seeing how frustrated he was I left him to Britta, knowing he didn’t like company so soon after suffering a kind of defeat. He usually just needed time to calm down and look at everything with a calm head again.
“ There’s usually a party on the beach after the races here. Usually the younger drivers are the one attending with some of the crews. But if you would like to come and Seb will be in the mood to relax, they probably wouldn’t mind having you guys there. ” Mick made me turn towards him from my position, a smile getting onto my face, while his was a bit unsure. “ I wouldn’t mind anyways. So you two can be my guest. ” He shrugged a little, his eyes averting between mine as I was looking straight at him.
“ Sure, thank you. He usually gets back to normal if he has some time to calm down. ” I let out a sigh looking towards the hallway where Seb disappeared just seconds ago. I was pretty sure that inside he was fuming at his starting position while Britta tried to talk a bit of sense into him.
Although I took a car back to the hotel with him, in the end he chose to have dinner in his room and I went to the canteen alone. Thinking back to the night I can’t even remember how I ended up at a table with some of the guys who were my age, with Mick to my side. There were a few of the F2 and even F3 drivers too, everyone talking and joking together. even though everyone had to have an early night we still spent a few hours together just talking, before everyone went to their own rooms. I did toss and turn for a little until I finally fell asleep and then stayed in bed almost all morning.
The first thing I got out of bed for was lunch before getting ready for the race and the party afterwards. I didn’t put on anything special as I always prioritised comfort over look and didn’t pack anything party worthy anyways. A light blouse, jeans and a sandal had to do it as it was everything I had for the few days I planned on spending in Abu Dhabi. Who thought I would get invited to a championship party during my first ever true race weekend. Not me, that’s for sure. I knew we would maybe have a drink or two with the ones close to Seb if the race goes well, but didn’t think I would get to celebrate with younger ones, no matter in which position they cross the finish line.
We left the hotel together for the track with Seb, the car dropping us off at the parking lot just prior to the entrance to the paddocks. I tried focusing on him,just making sure he knew he had my support too, although I couldn’t help but get into a short conversation with Mick. When I turned back to the older man he was already putting on his helmet, but sent me a smile, from which I knew he wasn’t mad at me for not being always next to him. I watched as he got into his car but then left for the grandstand, as I really didn’t want to be in the way of anyone, and opted for watching the race from the usual position. I thought it would be less stressful this way, as I was an outsider more than someone who knew a drive personally, but I was still a bit disappointed for him when they finished the last lap in front of us. I took the stairs down to the paddocks, entering the Ferrari garage even before Seb arrived back.
“ You did good. ” I hugged him when he got to me, although I knew simple words couldn't help after a season like his. It still felt right to tell him, making sure he knew we were still proud of him.
“ Thank you, but it wasn’t the best last season I would have asked for. ” He shrugged a little, putting down his equipment on the table next to him. “ I’m gonna have to get some interviews, photos done and change. We can leave after that if you don’t mind staying until then. ” He informed me, while I crossed my arms in front of myself.
“ Actually, Mick invited me to like a season ending party at the beach. Most of the younger drivers will be there, and you’re invited too if you would like to come. ” I told him, waiting patiently for his answer. “ But I don’t mind staying if you would like some company. ” I added, realising I took him not minding my absence for granted.
“ I’ll probably just have a quiet night, but you go and have fun. I’m fine with leaving you to him and the others. ” He shook his head, with a small smile still visible on his face. “ I’m gonna be miserable enough for the both of us, and we will have enough time to catch up after today. ” He added with a laugh when I was about to change my mind, pulling me into a side hug.
That’s how I ended up in a car with all the youngsters, after a quick introduction, that took us to the beach. It was probably a private section of the sandy path next to the water, as it wasn’t crowded and every face that came up to me was already familiar in a way. I couldn’t fault them for only partying in their own circles, as I could imagine the chaos some fans getting in would cause. No one needed that when they came here to relax a bit, after a stressful season full of training and working. I was just happy to take part in it and have a few drinks with the guys before dancing the night away. Looking back, I wasn’t that fed up with my choice of flat sandals, as even that was killing my feet when we got back to the hotel.
Even though I woke up with a killer headache, I wouldn’t have traded it if it meant changing the previous night's outcome. Despite the hangover, and having to fly home early, I felt refreshed and ready to take on the usually boring life at home again. It always filled me with energy if I could get out of the usual rhythm, and this time maybe the new contact in my phone helped too. To the stage that Seb was giving me curious looks when we got into the car already, and even more when just looking at the meaningless device made me smile a little wider.
So... this is the point where I thought I would share a bit of the fic, that made me join Tumblr at the start of December. This has been in the works since the start of the season and has been growing slowly but surely.
Right now I have quite a number of chapters ready, and can’t wait to share it with you guys. I hope it will be at a point in a couple of weeks where I feel like I have enough of it done to share with you. Without it getting pushed back because of less time for writing on my end. I want to have all of the chapters that I planned for the 2020 season to be done, so I can share it in one go (although with like a 2 chapters/week limit).
Hope you will be curious about it thanks to this smaller, first chapter and that you will follow their imaginery world as I slowly unreveal it for you guys 🥰
Special thanks - @x-lipstickstain-x again, for all the hard work you also put into this, being my first reader, and helping with ideas too. Probably would have never became what it is, if it’s not for you. 🧡
Inspiration song
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Chapter Two
Turning the last two corners of the Yas Marina Circuit I knew they wouldn't have time to catch me, and I easily crossed the finish line. It was loud at the end with the clapping of the crewmembers at the side and the fans, making me smile even wider. I let the car slow down before turning into the pit lane so I can park down at the garage and turn off the car. I was ecstatic as I got out of the car, immediately taking off my helmet and landing in a hug from the boss. I saw my family right behind them with smiles so wide on their faces I have never seen before. As soon as I was free I went to them, almost jumping up and down as I couldn't mask my excitement. I quickly thanked everyone before having to leave for the podium and celebration but planned on talking to everyone one by one as I had a lot to thank them for in the last season alone.
It was strange to step onto the highest part of the podium while inside I knew I only got third in the whole championship. It didn't break down my spirit in any way, but it was still a little strange. We stood through the speech and anthems but with the start of the usual music, we took the champagne placed at our feet, popping them a second later and showering everyone in the drink. My eyes were stinging but I just wanted to see it all and braved getting even more champagne into them rather than just missing the sight of spectators, teams and families celebrating with us. We were all soaked in it, my hair sticking together even as it was in a braid, so it won't be in the way.
An hour later I was finally finished with interviews and team talks, deciding to go to the driver room to finally change out my wet clothes. The racing suit was already off my upper body, but the fireproofs were just as alcohol smelling as the upper layer. I passed some of the guys on my way back to the paddocks and even saw some F1 drivers give answers to questions about the upcoming season and team changes. Although we had many chances to meet them during races, award shows and just racing events, most of them stayed huge celebrities in our eyes, right until you got to be their teammate for a season and you got used to being on their level. I did see Daniel too, sitting down with a reporter to do his pre-race interview quickly raising my hand to greet him silently and grinned inside when he did the same. I was over the moon with how everything ended and how it all will start next year with the contract I got from Renault.
“ He's inside, waiting for you. ” I heard my mum as soon as I stepped inside the garage and was about to turn the corner to get to the room. “ Talk to him. Give him a chance. ” She added when I was about to backtrack and just leave my idea of changing behind. I would rather travel home smelling like alcohol, champagne to be exact than stand in front of him and talk about anything.
“ Why? What if I don't want to? ” I asked back, with my arms crossed in front of my chest. I just hoped he wasn't hearing anything of this, even though I didn't really care what he thought about me. Still, the look she gave me, made me follow my first plan of just entering the room, so I can finally put down my things.
I stopped in front of the white door for a second, taking a big breath and letting it out before I pushed down the handle and got the door open as I stepped inside. He was sitting on the couch in his orange jacket, with a cap on his head, clearly showing everyone he's part of the McLaren team. Probably his face alone would be enough for a majority of people to get that info, but if you because of some strange happening didn't know him, all the ads and texts on their clothing gave all the info you needed. He was on his phone, of course, but closed it and looked up at me after he realised I was the one stepping inside the little room. I put my watch on the shelves next to him alongside the towels and several fireproofs we had if there were any accidents and we needed more than one piece. The silence made my skin crawl as I knew he was watching my every move with eyes like a hawk but didn't say a word to me actually. Just seconds later I got fed up with the situation and broke the silence around us with a sigh.
“ Here to spy on your future opponent? ” I asked, looking at him with my hand on my hip and even though it made me smile that he was here, I fought myself not to show it to him.
“ More like here to congratulate someone, who will make my next season hell. ” He let out a laugh but his face lost the sudden happiness as I didn't return his feelings.
“ I hope so. ” I had to agree, even though I knew he was joking only. “ It would be embarrassing to finally get in and crash out almost immediately. ” I added with a sigh, still hoping it was just my anxiety towards next season's challenges talking and not something that will become reality.
“ You got a seat yesterday. Even before winning today and taking P3 in the championship. You'll do just fine. ” He shrugged, sliding to the side of the bed so I could sit down next to him comfortably. I got my legs on the bed, crossing them, so I could turn fully towards him. I was angry at him, but being rude wouldn't achieve anything in this situation. “ I'm sorry about ghosting you. It all just got too much and I closed everyone off, including you. ” He exhaled, picking at his own fingers which I knew quite well as a sign of worry for him.
“ Yeah, I know. Your mum was reaching out to me if I knew what happened while I haven't even talked to you for two or even three months previous to her message. ” My eyes stayed on him even though the situation wasn't comfortable for any of us, and I usually hated eye contact during these moments. With him, it was usually the other way around, that I needed to see his eyes to know how he's feeling. When you get to a certain level of friendship with someone, where you know what they're thinking by looking at their eyes, you usually like to use that in the middle of arguments or agonizing dialogues.
“ She was furious with me when I went home. I did almost change my mind who's the Welsh Dragon from the two of you. ' He finally let a smile get on his face and it was the first time since we last talked that I did smile because of him. ” Still wasn't enough to make me text or call you. ' His hand went up to scratch at the nape of his neck, my eyes following the movement, making me realise how long his hair had gotten since the last time he stood in front of me.
“ I was looking forward to getting a sign of life from you for a week or so, but then gave up. ” I nodded, looking down a little bit as I remembered how alone I felt when not even his mum could get him back to his previous self. He always looked happy for the outside world, but as I saw him at venues and shows I saw the moments he was standing alone with just the emptiest look in his eyes as he scanned the crowd. “ But I understand. I know it was probably hard, I will go through the same next season. ” A silent sigh left my body as I thought about how hard next year will probably be.
“ Yeah, sorry and also thank you for not fully giving up on me. ” He finally looked up at me with a little smile. “ I saw all the messages, just was a dickhead and didn't reply to any of them. ” He shook his head and although looked disappointed in himself he finally had a normal glint in his eyes.
“ Are you talking to everyone else too now? ” I asked curiously, my body loosening up a little as the tension lowered between us. It was a small little cubicle, you could feel everything ten times better if you were closed in.
“ Not really. I planned on slowly saying sorry to everyone. After yesterday's announcements, I thought today would be the perfect time to start it with you. I hoped you wouldn't just come in, tell me off and leave without me explaining myself. ” His laugh made me myself, even though I knew it would be hard work from his side to get our friendship where it once was. He was still the same guy from years back, but when someone just leaves you hanging you do lose a bit of faith and trust towards them. Even if you have been inseparable for the past like 16 years.
I wanted to add a thought to our conversation when we heard a bunch of footsteps coming towards the room. I knew it was probably my crew coming to celebrate a little before we have to start packing up to leave before F1 really gets going and we won't have the place to do it. We just stood up from the bed when some of the mechanic guys came inside without a knock or anything and just took me out of the small room like that while I was almost dying from laughing. I saw Lando shimmie outside, trying not to get caught up in the team dance that I was in the middle of.
When we finally got home I still had some paperwork to attend to and then the fun part started. I say the fun part even though my stress level was higher than some New York skyscrapers if I'm being honest. I understood even more what Lando meant by it was all just too much and I did start to look up at him that he went with it for months before it took the best of him and he shut down a little. My Renault move being quite short notice didn't help either as I had to start searching for a house or apartment close to the HQ in the middle of December and Christmas which was never easy. Luckily we did find a compact little flat that ticked all of our boxes and wasn't even too pricey.
I moved in smaller chunks as I had so many things to take with me but not enough hands. Lando did help out on quite some days, letting us meet up a little and catch up, but as my family was working full time I had to manage most of the moving alone. It was already the middle of February when I felt like it was all finished, which was a huge relief as I had to leave for testing and then do all the necessary photoshoots and paperwork. The first days were probably the worst when I really didn't know anyone other than the boss and Daniel. Even though they both tried to make me comfortable, the best moments were when I finally got to drive the cars and just focus on my job. I started to dread that it will be like this for the whole season, just me feeling really out of place not having anyone I could go to. But then it all finally clicked into place and I started to understand the whole process. It got even better when we finally had some time to get to know each other.
It was the first week of March when we finally had some free time to go out with mine and Daniel's crew for a little team building. We chose a park close to the HQ as we didn't want to go somewhere really crowded and closed in, and just made a little picnic with beer and sandwiches. It was really just a thought one second and a real plan the next. I finally got to know every little piece of our team and finally really connected the names to faces and voices, which I couldn't really do in the rush we were in during weekdays for the last couple of weeks. It was funny when I realised some of them were more in my age group than I actually thought and I hoped they felt as good about me as I did about them. There really was no one who made me think, maybe I don't want to spend so much time with them. Dani was a huge part in making me feel at home too as he acted around me as I have always been there, working next to them. He did give me enough courage to really be myself and not just act as how they wanted to see me. Maybe I didn't become everyone's favourite person, but that wasn't the goal anyway. I can try to be that but will just lose even more friends when they realise I'm not who they thought I was.
Another big part of getting used to it all was the media and all the new fans I gained by becoming an F1 driver. Interviews were already a part of our routine in F2 but the questions got a lot more precise and sometimes you really had to think about your answer. Also, a huge change was that they did actually recognise you in the street even before I had my debut race, meaning you couldn't really just get out of the house how you wanted. At least I felt like I had to plan for at minimum one person asking for a photo or something signed by me. It was fun at times but could become quite tiring if it happened more than once in a row. In a way, you lost a part of your freedom to your fans and people just in general. I still felt lucky that not everyone cared about me and I could still just have fun with old friends or family. I still felt a little relieved when we travelled to Australia for the Grand Prix, because we all were together even if we were from different teams and spent quite some time with our own bubble only.
But it all shattered before it could actually really start. I just got into the feeling of being a real part of a Formula 1 race when some people tested positive and they cancelled the weekend all together in one go. I understood that they had to take action but it still felt like they have taken away our opportunity in a strange way, making us go home in full doubt, not knowing when the season will actually start. We knew this won't be the only cancelled or postponed race and the obscurity just made it that little bit more agonizing. But the only thing we could do was wait and hope there won't be many cases so we can get back to the schedule as soon as possible.
This chapter is a bit something else... I wont spoil everything right here but one thing I'm gonna say is I have been rethinking this one a lot, probably even over thinking. In the end it stayed the same and I didn't change much than how I wrote it first. Hope you guys will enjoy it 🧡🤗
TW: stupid ass interviewers, sexism, car crash
Inspiration song
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Chapter Seven | You’re here | Chapter Nine
“ Lando, wait. ” I stepped away from the table where Dan was sitting, to catch up to him before I would lose sight of him again. “ Have you… seen my text? ” I asked him, catching up and stopping right in front of him so he wouldn’t just leave me hanging as he did yesterday and the day before.
“ The one you sent while enjoying a night out with a friend, while you just dropped me from going there a day or two prior? ” He asked me, pocketing both of his hands and only looking down at me when he was sure I wouldn’t let him step away. “ Yes. I did. ” He gave the answer to my question although it was rather confusing than explaining.
“ You know why that happened. It wasn’t just my decision. ” I shook my head immediately, not really understanding what he was so wound up about. “ I still wanted to apologize for how I acted since the start. It wasn’t fair as you did nothing to deserve it. It just wasn’t as easy as I hoped it would be. ” I added with a sigh, still looking up at him, although his gaze did not soften one bit.
“ It’s not only you, who has to go through this season. ” He rolled his eyes, already turning away from me. “ Maybe you would realise if you spent time with others too. ” Lando added before turning his back to me and leaving the room through another door. I needed a few seconds to get back to reality and just walk back to my seat.
His reaction wasn’t exactly what I imagined, even though he never really answered my text or never came up to me for a chat. Knowing I did everything to try and correct my mistakes I didn’t let my brain linger on it too much, forcing myself back to the conversation all the team members were having around me. For the rest of the night I mostly stayed at our table, not catching any glimpses of Lando or his immediate crew who I could talk to, which was probably better this way. By the time we called it a night and went back to our rooms I was thankful about how tired my body was. For once it finally didn’t fight me over falling asleep, and instead of letting my mind run on two times speed I finally could get the sufficient amount of sleep for a race day.
Setting my alarm a bit later was the only positive about the first half of the day. My mood was quite average, right until Dan and I had to wait in Lando’s close proximity to breakfast, the awkward atmosphere around us feeling like an irritating itch under my skin, and also seeing several of the reporters who made my life hell once already, listed on the sheet of paper for our pre-race press conference. Usually I could get away with just a few stupid questions, but seeing the amount of names that made me shiver I knew it will be a fierce session. A week ago I would have swallowed the sour pill that represented their prying questions, but since the talk I had with Susie I promised myself they wouldn’t get to play me again.
“ Why are we actually doing these? I just wanna go and drive. “ I puffed out angrily, standing next to Daniel who tried to hold me in one place so my toxic energy wouldn’t spread to everyone. Even though I had every right to feel like this. I could feel my blood boil at the thought of getting asked a bunch of stupid questions in a row. It wouldn’t be the first, nor the last time it happens but I just knew that if today is just a repeat of last time I won’t have enough patience to deal with them.
“ Well, it’s part of our job. You have to give something back to the fans. ” Daniel answered, pulling me back by my arm when I tried to leave, again. “ Winola… just stay, please? ” He turned towards me with his full body and I sighed, giving up. I didn’t care about fighting with Cyril anymore, but Daniel was someone I didn’t want to hurt. He didn’t deserve it.
I decided to stay silent, and keep my fuming to myself for the remainder of our wait, letting Dan finally relax a little. I have been an asshole to anyone since we met up in the morning, as I knew this event was coming up on our schedule for today. By every race the press conferences always got harsher and harsher towards me. They didn’t care if I was showing potential in the previous races or maybe had a bad day and didn’t score points, it was always just plain old bad. It always started off sweet with actually intelligent questions, then something clicked and they all turned into brainless cows, making me dread every question they sent towards me. Watching back the videos of them made me cringe even harder as I could see that everyone around me knew how sexist all the questions were, but they couldn’t do anything. Or more like they didn't want to do anything. Who would get beef going with the media for someone like me? It wasn’t worth it.
“ Just try… not blowing up on them. They’re idiots who don’t deserve to see you in pain. You’re stronger than that. ” He added when the big doors opened up and a lady dressed in pretty elegant clothing invited us inside. I swear her mouth twitched for a second when her eyes landed on me, but she made sure no one else would spot it. I rolled my eyes as we stepped inside and I could spot several of the interviewers who gave me hell the last couple of times already.
I sat down in one of the Renault chairs reluctantly, feeling Daniel’s reassuring touch on the small of my back, although it didn’t help much. I let out a deep sigh as I put on the little microphone and really focused on remembering it’s on me, so I wouldn’t just whisper something into it, that I didn’t want them to hear. I looked at my team mate once more before fully turning forward and waited for all the questions. Luckily they didn’t start with me so I had some time to let all the steam slowly leave me, so I could react to their irritating questionnaire with a cooler head. I even managed to get a tiny little smile on when the boys were joking around, but as soon as I heard my name it faded and I concentrated back on the host. The first one or two were actually usable, real questions, surprising me and even catching me off guard a little. Just as I started relaxing the man who put me through hell during the last event, was called on.
“ Thank you! My question will be for Williams. ” He started making me huff and I saw from the corner of my eye as Daniel shifted in his seat. “ As the season is approaching the end some of us wanted to see a little more behind your decision of signing for Renault. Did you consider others, maybe Racing Point as they have just the car for you thanks to their ’pink’ sponsor? We even had a bet, that I lost, that you would choose them. ” He looked at me with a cocky smile, making me consider manslaughter for a second.
“ I considered every team who gave me a deal. Renault was the first of course, thanks to me being part of their Academy. Also, usually I like to choose by looking into their performance and also seeing what the deal would mean for my career. Guess the color of the livery doesn’t really affect those aspects. ” I surprised myself how coolly I reacted to his shit question and even had enough courage to give him a little smile. “ So no. I didn’t consider going to Racing Point because of their pink car. I think Szafnauer is quite happy with having Pérez and Stroll in his team. ” I added, looking at the mentioned guys for a second and I could see as Lance fought the laugh that wanted to bubble out of him.
My style did shut him up luckily and even if he would have liked to ask another question we had a time limit and had to sadly get to the next guy as he froze in his spot. As the next one was asked from the Red Bull team I dared a look at Daniel for a second and I saw the proud smile on his face that my quite analytic answer caused. I bit my bottom lip to stop myself from saying anything and just rather turned back forwards so I could listen to the others until it was back to me again.
“ Yes, as we saw some quite hair raising moments in the last races and even over the years we usually love to see how people in the drivers’ bubbles wish them luck and sit through the races with crossed fingers. We know most of your little circles already but with new drivers every year we’re always curious to get to know their loved ones. ” He started and I already knew this would be about my romantic background. “ Winola, can you let us in on who’s the one that’s fearing for you at home or maybe in the garage, while you battle with these gentlemen on track? ” He turned to me, waiting for my answer and completely ignoring the other drivers who were new to the championship.
For a second I just sat there contemplating how I should respond. “ Well, my family members do watch most of my races but sadly they can’t really travel with me right now. Although, during the last race my mum tried reaching me on FaceTime while I was doing my last lap around the track in free practice. I remember her calling me in the evening again and saying ‘That man, with the big teeth, is so intimidating!’. So if they never come out to a race in the future it’s gonna be because of Daniel. ” I deflected but just couldn’t get the usual masking smile on my face. My private life will always be a sensitive spot for me since the times when fans started a new rumour like everyday if I dared to talk a word to one of the guys that day. Luckily Dan’s and the others’ laugh got them to forget about me not actually answering the question.
“ And also, if you don’t mind me asking one more. ” He tried to get back everyone’s attention, and I almost simply said that I would actually mind. Sadly my sweeter side won and I kept my mouth shut. “ Every one of us has harder days but we all know it can get a little harder for females on certain days during the month. How do you cope with that during these weekends? ” He actually made me almost drop my chin while I looked at him. For a second I was silent, trying to grasp the situation and that he did actually dare to ask something like that in front of 19 guys and even more watching us.
“ I mean, everyone with the minimum amount of brain cells can probably figure out how we deal with it. Mostly I stay focused because I’m here to do my job which includes machines that could end me or anyone else in a millisecond. I don’t think it would matter how I or any other female athlete copes with something like that. ” I pressed on the word female as I always hated if they mentioned me as that instead of a woman or anything less discriminating. Although, there were people for whom it didn’t matter which one they used, it felt like daggers into your side anyway.
Luckily I got a little break from questions so I could collect myself, as the last one really sent me for a spinner. It wasn even that bad of a question, it was just worded so immaturely. In a world where we were fighting for others to not make anything about normal women things disgusting, people like him just held us back and made it even harder. No one would think anyway else about us if they wouldn’t accentuate parts of womanhood like he did. It was just irresponsible and disgusting to ask something like this in a live interview, in a sport where 90% of the athletes and fans were male. In my anger I wanted to get my hands busy as I realised I was picking at my skin as I usually did when I was anxious and rather opened the water bottle in front of me so I could get a sip from it.
“ Winola, could you tell us a little about how you get ready for races? And also if there are any differences in your gear than for example Ricciardo’s that was hard to get used to. ” One man from the back asked, getting me back from my thoughts and for a second I thought I would get an actual question, but I quickly got disappointed.
“ I don’t really know what you mean by differences. I mean I just hope you don’t want me to say the ‘oh yeah, well I wear bras and can’t really just change in front of everyone, as the guys always do’ monologue. That would be a waste of a question as everyone knows the differences between our equipment. ” I furrowed my brows at him and couldn’t help my next comment. “ Or maybe you just didn’t see anyone like that yet and didn’t know. I’m actually sorry if that’s the case. ” I leaned back in my chair, feeling quite naked in front of everyone’s eyes after that question, while the room went silent for a second, before the host quickly got another question going.
I was almost at the point of just exploding and couldn’t understand how they couldn’t see my frustration in connection with all of their ideas of questions. Or maybe they saw it they just didn’t care because they only thought about the money my answers would bring them. I wouldn’t actually be surprised. But at the point where if looks could have killed I would have been a serial killer, someone still dared standing up, calling me by my first name and continuing their stupid interrogation. I lost the remainder of my cool at his first words.
“ How do you, as a woman, deal with all the strategies? Isn’t it difficult for you to understand them and at the same time remember all the buttons on the steering wheel? ” He finished up, while I knew my head was getting redder and redder until I probably looked like a proper tomato.
“ I don’t know what some people think about us. Are we considered stupid just because we have more fat on our chest and higher voices or what is it? Because I come here after completing the minimum level of education someone should get and I’m just dumbfounded by these questions?! I never thought of myself as a genius, but among you I actually think most of the F1 drivers and I possess some kind of a superpower to be actual decent human beings. ” I looked at him, completely letting go of my self control. “ You know, I was scared everyone, maybe even my team mate, would look down on me just because of my gender. But the only group of people who make my career here hell are you guys who can only think of the money these answers will get you. You make everyone think of women like toys and tools you can use, just because you want to make your pockets heavier. ” I added standing up the next second. “ Is there anyone who is here from a proper sport publication and wants to ask me a question about the race or the sport? Because I think we had enough of the usual Playboy and Celeb Story questions. ” I added looking around for someone to answer my question now but no one dared speaking up. “ Then sorry, but I won’t take part in this anymore. Thank you for the few actually thought out questions. Bye. ” I ripped the mic off myself before taking my water bottle and leaving the room as my manager already opened the door for me. He knew there was no chance of stopping me.
“ We have about two hours before the start. I’ll have to talk with Cyril and the team, you just try to stay away from any camera or TV presentator. ” He gave me my phone and AirPods while we walked through the hallway that led us to the paddocks. “ They won’t be happy with today, but I’m sure they will understand in a bit of time. ” He sighed out, making me shake my head.
“ Well, I’m not happy with the last couple of weeks either. ” I shrugged, plugging my ears before I said anything wrong to the people I actually cared about. Even though I loved them, in moments like these my anger was just over a level where it didn’t matter who was in front of me, I would make them feel like hell. I exited the building with my head hanging lower as I saw all the photographers outside, who were all surprised to see someone leave so early.
The first time I could relax a little bit was when I stepped inside my own room, locking the door on myself, and laid down on the massage bed. I knew probably no one would need me for at least another hour as after the press conference we were always needed for personal interviews with different sport tv channels. For a second I debated goin gon social media and in the end just pushed my phone away from myself, so I wouldn’t search up anything that could fuck up my head again. I was gone enough already, I didn’t need to see even more bad words about how disrespectful I was and how I behaved. Having to sit through another of Cyril’s lectures about holding our anger inside will be enough. Just minutes later I heard footsteps from outside but didn’t really think anything of it, as sometimes mechanics need to make last second changes to how our equipment is laid out for the race.
Half an hour later Mark came back so we could do our usual pre-race stretches and some more, to help me relax a little bit. I could feel all the tension in my body and how Mark actually had to fight every little bit of muscle I had, to get it out of them, having to go back to one part twice or even three times. I liked to catch up on comments during sessions with him, but now I was just laying there, with my eyes closed and I was happy that we had some more time than we usually did. I was sitting up to change positions and turn on my back when he gave me my phone. I pulled out one of my AirPods, after I stopped the music playing in them, and reluctantly started the video that was a playback from the conference. I knew he wouldn’t make me watch something that messed my head up, so I trusted his choice of showing this to me. It was starting from right after I left as the camera just changed back from the closing doors and I was nowhere to be found. The room was silent as the guys looked at each other and then back at the host.
In the next second Lando started moving around and I thought he’s just fixing the wires around his ear, but then he took off the mic while standing up, and without a word left the room just as I did a second earlier. If that wasn’t enough, slowly everyone started getting out of the mics, putting them down on the little table in front of them before following suit and exiting the conference room, leaving all the interviewers and host completely dumbfounded. The camera swiftly turned toward the presenter who tried saving the moment by doing her usual closing sentences but everyone knew it wouldn't look normal. I watched as the screen turned black and the video ended making me look up at Mark with wide eyes.
“ They’re good people. ” He simply said while going through my calves with his fingers. I let out a sigh, knowing I probably didn’t deserve their support. Also didn’t really understand how Lando went from ignoring me and my messages to showing support towards me so publicly. It wasn’t that simple as just leaving an interview as they would also get backlash from the fans who didn’t like me and didn’t think I deserve any sympathy.
“ They are… no doubt. ” I agreed, looking down at the phone again and a small smile got on my face, even though I knew this wouldn’t solve everything and I would still need to fight for what people thought about me. Seeing all of them support me and my decision was heartwarming, and I was honoured to call all of them my colleagues but most importantly my friends.
“ You can have a nap if you want to. I’ll wake you up in time for the last steps. ” He started packing up his equipment, handing me a towel so I can get the residual massage oil off my arms, legs and back before laying back down.
I tuned on a video from YouTube but didn’t fight my eyes closing as I knew I would just feel even more tired if I don’t let myself sleep now. It was maybe two minutes into the video when I fell asleep and it was playing one from another side of the platform when they woke me up so I can do some last exercises and change into my fireproofs and race suit. I quickly got my hair in a braid so it won’t be in the way under a balaclava and the helmet later. Cyril was focused on something else but as soon as I entered he sent me an encouraging smile before sending me to my team to get the latest data and info of the weather and have one last summed up talk about the track and what we wanna do. I still felt the frustration in my mind and body but I was calm on the outside and that is what mattered now, so the team would be calm and do their own tasks perfectly.
I stayed in as long as they didn’t need me, as I just wanted to be alone. I went to the grid to get the usual photo but as soon as it was ready without a look at anyone I just went back to our garage to get my helmet ready and have one last look at the papers of the track. Luckily no one needed me from the team and I could just stay focused on the real task ahead of us.
“ Good luck! ” Daniel came up to me with his arms wide open, and I gladly went for the hug, letting him squeeze me before I stepped back to my helmet.
“ You too. Hunt down that podium. ” I told him with a little smile, lifting my helmet and pulling it over my head, getting the buckle clasped. With one last fist bump we went to our own cars, climbing in finally and getting ready for the start.
With the engines on we waited for the start sign and then I was the first one out, leaving the garage behind and following the other cars down the pit lane and out onto the track. We went half a lap before stopping in the earned positions and turning everything off again. The weather was actually nice, not too hot but there wasn’t any rain to be happening either. Usually when we were lucky enough to get to really see the sun it was messed up by rain or maybe tornado like wind all around the track. But today looked perfect in every aspect other than how I felt inside. We had time for one last radio check, making sure it was working, not like last time, before every crew member left the track and we were a minute away from starting.
The start went perfectly, making it possible for me to get from P12 up to right behind Carlos and then after the next corner thanks to him not seeing me properly I could get in front of him and try catching Lando. My first bad feelings subsided until the 25th lap where somehow I just started messing up my breaking points, getting me to lose 2 positions. It left me with fighting for my starting position for a whole lap as everytime I would get a gap between myself and the Ferrari, he would gain it all back in the corners as I always went too far and struggled to turn in the speed I needed to keep up so that I would be the one in the lead in the exits.
“ We would rather lose a position than the car, Winola. ” I heard Aaron in my ear as we came to the finish line on lap 27 and crossed it.
“ I know. It’s just like I can’t find where to break. The usual line just doesn’t work. ” I answered as I messed up the next corner again, now for the third lap in a row. I didn’t understand what’s happening right until we got to the 7th corner and it all dawned on me.
With the straight right before the turn I was going far too quick to realise it in time that my brakes gave out completely. I was already off the track sideways and in the gravel when I finally understood what was happening. I could feel the wheels get stuck in the softer ground, but I didn’t even manage to brace myself for the hit I got from the tyre wall as soon as the car went into it full speed and already upside down. My ears were ringing when I finally felt everything stop and the air fill my lungs after everything squeezed out of me during the impact. My head leaned back on the headrest, giving myself a second to take some deep breaths before I would have to start thinking about getting out of the car, or more like wreckage as I was pretty sure there wasn’t any connection between several parts of the car anymore.
“ Winola, are you okay? Please say something if you hear me. ” The radio came back on, making me clear my throat with a cough or two.
“ I’m fine. ” I briefly replied, raising my hands from my sides to get the steering wheel off and letting it fall out of the cockpit. My hands were shaking, both from the shock that went through my body during the crash, and also from the frustration I felt for losing out on a chance to get points after everything that happened before the race. Even more as I grasped that this wasn’t my mistake, I didn’t do anything that would make the brakes fail. “ I had no brakes. None. ” I added, getting myself unplugged and the seatbelts off as with one hand I tried to keep myself from just falling out.
I slowly climbed out of the wreck, staying in a kneeling position next to the body, looking at all the damage that was made to the body and all the wheels. With a frustrated sigh I got my helmet off, pushing the balaclava off my head, while sitting down on the underside of the body as I got dizzy all of a sudden. Looking up a little with my head in my hands I could see the medical car arriving at the site, and I sat up straighter as one of the doctors came to check me. I told him I was dizzy but felt no pain other than a little soreness in my neck and back and luckily he didn’t feel like I had to get too much patient care. They took me back to the medical room, examining me once again to make sure before leaving me to my own trainer, who knew quite well what to do about smaller crash injuries.
It was during our walk back to the garage when everything hit me once again and I realised after everything people said about me because of my answers in the conference room I just gave them even more reasons to show that I shouldn’t have a place in this championship. I wiped my eyes as we went through the gates but then just let my tears fall as I felt like it didn’t matter anymore, I was already in a situation that I couldn’t fix by myself. I just didn’t care anymore, not even when I knew we were passing photographers. Mark tried standing in the middle to shield me from questioning stares and all the cameras, even though both of us knew it wouldn’t help a lot. When we finally got back to the garage I immediately sat down next to Aaron to watch the race while Mark got me some ice packs for my neck.
I slowly clapped when Daniel crossed the line in P4, knowing he would be frustrated about missing the podium but still being happy about his performance. I was proud of him, but the pain made me remain in my seat as the team went outside to celebrate with him. The screens showed as they came back into the pit, parking down the cars before they got out so they could hug their crewmembers with wide grins. I watched as the first three stepped onto the podium and opened the champagne, soaking everyone in the liquid after the usual music started. It was strange to see all the happiness while disappointment was eating me up from the inside. I was happy for the team getting closer and closer, but it didn’t help my real feelings.
While they were chatting outside I went back to my room to change into normal clothing so I could leave for the analyzing talk as soon as possible. However as I entered the garage Cyril ordered me to go back to the hotel and rest, saying we will catch up on work tomorrow if I’m really fine and pain-free. I was relieved as my back was slowly killing me even sitting down, and I didn’t know how much I could concentrate on all the information they got from looking at the car and watching back footage. So I gladly took his offer and we got into one of our cars that took me and Mark back to the hotel. We quickly said our goodbyes, with him promising he will check up on me in the morning, before entering our own rooms.
As I stepped inside with a sigh I dropped my backpack onto the floor, next to my kicked off shoes. Turning towards the co-joined living- and bedroom I saw a trolly full of covered plates that I didn’t recognize. Standing next to it I suspected that maybe the team planned it so I would have a little surprise as I got back. Taking my phone out I went to call Cyril as I pulled some of the plates to one side to get the little envelope out from under them. As soon as the envelope was open and I could read the writing on it I immediately forgot about my phone. I recognised the handwriting immediately and couldn’t help a small smile getting on my face as I finished the last sentence on the paper. My finger was already back on the screen of my device, but a knock on my door disturbing my thoughts as I put my phone back down again. What I was expecting wasn’t really who I found on the other side of the door, looking right back at me with his dishevelled look.
“ Hello. I just read your note. ” I told him, staying mostly in the doorway as I didn’t know what he was here for. Of course I read his apology and knew it wasn’t just a joke or something he wanted to use as a quickfix, but I was still unsure about us having a conversation without another argument. “ Can we promise each other that we will just talk it through before getting angry or frustrated about anything? And that’s just as for me as you. We both fucked up. ” I asked him and it seemed like he had the same thought as he didn’t need more than a second to nod at my offer.
“ Yes, we should. I’m truly sorry about the things I said. Wasn’t really thinking about how it must have made you feel and how you were already in a difficult situation. ” He let out a sigh, my faint smile getting a bit wider. I didn’t really wait longer and stepped aside, hoping he would get the idea and step inside the room. “ Hope you didn’t eat yet, because I for sure can’t finish all of this alone. ” I closed the door behind him, putting my phone out of the way as I followed him inside to the trolley.
“ That was the plan, or idea as I didn’t know how you would feel about it. ” Lando let out a sigh, stopping in the middle of the living room, waiting for me to get next to him. “ I would love to put everything just behind us, but at the same time there are things that need talking through, not just forgetting. ” He seemed to loosen up as I put the plate covers away, giving him the chance to choose something for his own dinner.
“ Yeah, before it gets even worse. I’m sorry for ignoring you and pushing you away. You did nothing wrong, it was just… me thinking I would be better off on my own. ” I shook my head, sitting down on the big sofa, leaving quite enough space for him.
“ You can hardly stay sane alone. I didn’t understand what your plan was with staying away from mostly anyone but Dan. But I feel like I understand now with today’s shitshow. ” He sat down across from me, holding up his plate but still looking at me. “ I won’t lie, I felt betrayed by how you gave quite a different picture of us to the media than what the reality was, but I understand it more now. The eyes of the cameras and the people behind them make everything complicated. ” He voiced my exact thoughts, and I could only nod in agreement with him.
“ They had enough to analyze about my driving and who I actually am. I was never the type who was comfortable with living so publicly, even though I know it’s a big part of this sport. ” I told him, even though I knew opening up about everything in the middle of a season to a rival wasn’t something on my schedule. Even if it was Lando sitting next to me, both of us knew what to keep from the other while we were still well into the working part of our year. “ I didn’t want to give them anything to grip onto in connection with my life off the track. ” I shook my head a little, diving into the plate of food in my hand and already feeling a bit better with how there wasn’t any bad energy between us.
“ Sadly, they are the ones who know the least about our jobs but at the same time talk the most about it. That’s why they bring up our lives outside the sport, as it’s easier to talk about and criticise. ” He shrugged a little and I knew he understood my situation as he went through it in his first season too. It wasn’t easy for anyone to change from a quite chilled F3 and F2 atmosphere to the F1 one that was followed by twice the amount of fans around the world. It was a step that would be unimaginable to make alone, without anyone supporting you from behind.
Spending time together again did take away a huge chunk of my anxiety, Lando having a calming effect on my always overthinking brain. I did take a little break from social media pages for the next two races, focusing fully on acting normally and really trying to use all the tips Susie, Nyck and even Lando gave me, after trying but failing for half a season. It was time for me to find the balance and not just hide behind everything I just could to get out of the sight of the media. The first time I got back to the sites was after Dan’s podium, congratulating him on his race and just giving some life signs of my own as I planned on getting back to posting as I did before, without really paying any attention to outside opinions. I knew I was capable of doing it, but I wanted it to be permanent from now on ‘till at least the end of the season.
In January I made a half ready au for something really outside Formula racing. Back then I was watching quite a bit of rally races before starting the F1 season off. Now I rewrote it as a George oneshot - which won’t stay a ONEshot - and finished it up. Sadly, this won’t be dripping from fluff just yet. Maybe there’s a chance for a happy end, but I didn’t decide on it yet 😂 Hope everyone will like it 🧡 (I accidentally deleted the previous post, so I’m just reposting it now again🤦♀️)
TW: car crash, injuries (not explicit but still, be careful)
Title song is by Andy Black
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" Welcome, everyone. Today will be quite a busy lobby as we have lots of people playing with us today. " He started his usual intro by describing what they will be doing. People were still arriving, but they had time until the first game would start.
Luckily streams like these were only chaotic in a funny way, making everything hilarious and ten times better. Just as the first notifications started coming in, he had to make sure the race's stream was still visible next to the other page. Then he could finally look at the incoming messages while they were waiting for the others to get ready. The first question made George realise he missed out important info from his intro.
" Hana isn't playing with us today. I almost forgot to tell you guys. I'm sorry in advance, but I will be quite distracted today. She is racing today, and the stream is open on my other screen. " He let out a laugh, already anticipating all the emojis and dripping comments about him and Johanna. " I usually put my off-days around her racing days, but it's a tournament, and I would have missed the whole week if I followed my usual plan for days like this. " He added, so they understood why today is like this. He had just a few streaming days planned every week during their off season, which always collided with Hana’s rally season, but luckily he could always play around with the schedule.
He hated not fully being there for his viewers, but at the same time, he wanted to support his girlfriend even when he couldn't travel there with her. Sometimes he could travel with her during his off-season but usually his training held George back, as he couldn’t miss them. It was the second-best way to get all the info of her racing in just seconds after the real events. Sadly the stream wasn't just about her, but as someone with a known name in the group, fortunately, they were showing her car quite frequently. By the time they went live, she already started and was on the first third of the track, completing that part in the perfect time, as she usually does. For a second, he just stared at the other screen as they were showing their inside cam but then had to focus back as they were starting the round in their game.
Luckily he manages the multitasking, mostly focusing on their game and trying to win, while catching every second they were showing Hana's car or maybe talking about her and how they're doing. He maybe lost a round because of an announcement about her time, but one game won't kill anyone, will it? In the first break, he retweeted a clip that was shared of her speeding down a straight, making him feel proud inside as they were saying no one has a chance against her. It always felt unreal how good she was in her category and how well they always talked about her. It was something that made him feel strangely proud, even though he had nothing to do with her skills. Everything she achieved was hers and no one else's, no matter what the haters would say. Her formula racing career may have ended early, but George was quite sure that she felt a lot more comfortable in the world of rally. After the first few bumps in the road, Hana found her place and style, getting her car onto the top half of the leaderboard every race.
The moment they start another round is when he hears the panicked voices in his headset, although lower than anything else. As soon as he looks at the stream, he sees the playback of a light blue car slipping on the road and flipping up in the air before hitting the ground with full force and starting to flip through the field until it finally comes to a stop as it hits a tree with Hana's door, the car staying on its roof. He waits for a second, hoping they will play the inside cam but as they don't include it, he knows there's probably a lot more to the crash than just a broken car. There are unmissable flames on the underside, but they switch to another driver just before he can see the marshalls getting to them and probably trying to get the team out before the fire consumes the frame of the vehicle and everything else inside of it.
" Fuck... " He doesn't even care about his own stream anymore, getting up and closing everything. As soon as the computer starts shutting off, he shoots out of the room. His phone in his hand already as there is an incoming call from Martha, his girlfriend's mother. " I just saw it, what's going on? " He spoke rushed, wanting to know everything that was said to them.
" They won't show anything, but the boss said they got them out just before it went up in flames. She was conscious but fainted as they took them to the ambulance. " Hana's mother was most likely in a full-fledged panic attack, and George could hear that they were packing in the background.
" I will get a ticket as soon as possible. I don't know when I'm getting there. " George sighed while pulling out a duffle bag to fill it with clothes for several days if needed. He didn't know how dangerous her condition was, and how many days they were spending there.
" It's okay. I will send you all the info when we get it finally. They will probably take them to the hospital. I just don't know which one, yet. Fucking hell. " It was the first time George ever heard her curse, but he didn't have the time to be surprised about it. More like it made him even more panicked as he knew the situation is probably worse than he anticipated.
He couldn't even push the phone into his pocket before another call came in from Alex. He knew they were probably puzzled about his disappearance, but he wanted to finish packing before talking to them. When he was in a taxi finally, on the way to the airport, he pulled it out of his jacket and dialled Alex's number.
" Hey, sorry for not answering. I just had to rush out of the house to the airport. Hana had a horrific crash. " He sighed, feeling as his body finally realised what's happening and started to stiffen up from the stress.
" Jesus Christ. Right. Just go, stay safe. I just wanted to ask if everything is okay, but fuck, didn't think it was this bad. " Alex mumbled out, and all the sounds were audible from the background as the others probably heard George's answer.
" She did a pretty high flip. They said she fainted just as they got to safety, so at least she's still alive. I don't think I would be if I have been the one inside. Man, I don't know what will happen. " The sentence was cut off by a choking sound as his throat tightened up at the idea of anything happening to Johanna.
" Hey, George. You know her. You know how fucking tough she is. Today's event won't be the one that stops her. Not even if she's injured. Don't even think about that as a possibility, because it isn't one. " He tried to reassure his friend, although he felt that it was almost useless. Without any real info about her condition, it's all up in the air and unstable. " The most important thing right now is for you to get there in one piece. You won't be of help if you fall apart. Her parents need you there. " He added with a sigh before saying goodbye and putting down the call so George can make the important ones towards Hana's friends and colleagues. It isn't easy but has to be done, as he knows her parents will be on their way to the hospital to be next to her, and won't be able to call everyone.
When he got to the airport, there was a ticket there already, waiting for him to pick up. It was a surprise, but a lovely one, as it saved him some time and stress before getting on the plane and starting his journey to Germany. He was sure he would have missed the first available flight if he had to buy it himself, but Hana's manager had the authority to get it for him in time. He made a note in his head to thank him for it when they met, as it wasn't something he had to do but decided to help George with it. As he had time on his hands, he tried to relax, although all the images in his head didn't let him sleep or anything. It was strange to see everyone so nonchalant about life while he was fearing for someone so much he was on the verge of throwing up the whole time. But he knew they were not horrible people, just that they didn't know what happened. They didn't have to know about everyone else's pain and life events. It was strange but completely normal.
As he knew he wouldn't be able to rest, he opened up his phone and went onto Twitter to see the news. Although there was nothing new on the tournament's page, Hana's team shared that she's on the way to hospital with injuries but nothing life threatening. It should have made him calm down, but as he thought how many small things can turn into huge problems, it didn't help. There were people, probably viewers and subscribers tweeting at him, sharing photos and thoughts with him, hoping Johanna is okay and healthy even though it was a nasty crash. The pictures of the wreck the car became, made all the good news unbelievable as he just couldn't understand how someone could get out of it without any injuries. He knew that her team wouldn't be lying and that they would have called him if there's anything he needs to know, but it was just all too much for his brain. He thought about putting out a tweet so everyone knew what was happening, but decided against it. Everyone knew already as they probably followed Hana's racing account and her team's one. He didn't need to put out everything and he didn't really feel like receiving even more messages than he already did. He knew they just wanted to let him know they were thinking about them, it wasn't good to see all of this 24/7. It was enough that he knew what was happening, he didn't need others to remind him every minute of the coming days.
' She's in theatre now, fractured leg and two broken ribs. They said she will need some days under anaesthesia to fully heal without the stress of the pain she will feel as soon as she wakes up. If everything goes as it should she will be out in an hour or so. We will get you a hotel room by the time you arrive, as our house is hours away from the hospital and I think we all want to be closer now. I'll send you the address of the hospital in a second. ' Came the awaited text from Martha, making him sigh out and save the address as soon as he got it, so he won't forget where he has to go after he arrives in the country. He remembered to send a message to the group, as they were people who deserved to know all the info. They were great friends of Hana and were probably pretty nervous about her state. They deserved to know.
It took him almost 20 hours to finally arrive and be able to get his baggage back. He first went to the hotel so he can put his stuff down before meeting up with Johanna's parents, so they can go to the hospital together. They had two rooms next to each other, so as soon as he had a shower and changed into fresh clothes, he went outside and knocked on their door.
" Hello! Are you okay? " He asked when the door opened, and he could see the worry on Martha's face.
" As much as you can be after something like this. " Martha let out a sigh, hugging George as he stepped closer. " They just called that she responded quite well to the medication. Her operated leg looks good too, although it was quite hard to fix in the surgeon's opinion. " She let go of him so they could leave for the hospital and finally really talk with the doctors that were part of the team caring for her.
" Is Andrew there already? " George asked while Michael locked up their door so they could head to the elevator.
" Yes. Theo wasn’t in need of medical care. Right after he was checked out by the doctor, they let him home. He and Andrew stayed. They wanted her to have someone while we were travelling here. " She nodded, pushing the first button inside, as it would take them down to the reception. " We got our car, so we won't have to call a taxi all the time. " She added, pulling out the keys from her purse, giving them to George as he was deemed the most put together to drive among the three of them.
" He was quite lucky if he's uninjured. " He let out a huff of air, feeling strange that while Hana was hurt, her co-driver walked away perfectly fine and without a scratch. Life took strange turns sometimes.
" Most of the damage was on Johanna's side. He's got a sore neck and back, but that's all. " She sighed, not saying more. She was probably blaming the navigator for her daughter's pain. In a situation like this no one could fault her for wanting someone to take the blame.
As they got down to the garage George opened up the car, and they all got inside. It was a 10 minutes long drive to the hospital and another 5 to find a parking spot not too far away from the entrance. Inside a nurse helped them find her room, but had to leave before they could ask any questions. She probably wouldn't have been able to answer them anyway, as she wasn't on her case. Although, looking at her and the huge cast on her leg answered most of their questions. She was asleep, as she was under anaesthesia to reduce the stress the pain would give her. At this point, George just hoped there wouldn't be any problems when they woke her up finally. They all knew that everything could change in 2-3 days, even though it looked perfect at the moment. Sitting down in the armchair he took out his phone to quickly text everyone, that they're finally at the hospital and in the room. He wanted to tell them more but could only type out that she looks okay, even though she was quite injured. Somehow the peace on her face made him calm down, even though he knew it was only from the drugs they gave her. It was nothing in connection with her being completely okay and perfectly healthy.
“ Family of Miss Braun, right? ” The german words made George turn towards the door, spotting a doctor who was the one taking care of Hana. Although his German wasn’t even close to perfect, he understood the question and nodded in synch with her parents. The following explanation of Johanna’s state was a bit too complicated for his basic knowledge, but George knew someone would eventually translate for him.
It took a minute or two before they told him that everything looked perfect on her charts, considering what her body went through. Although a relieved sigh left his body, everyone knew this wasn’t the end of the story. She will probably need rehabilitation after her leg heals, even if it’s a simple fracture and will heal easily. It didn’t help their worries that she was kept asleep for four days in the end, delaying the process and making them wait even longer before they got to talk to her. George hoped that with Hana awake they could get a bit more feedback for her treatment and also finally start the next part with physiotherapy. The sooner she got up and started moving around the easier it would be to get back to her previous physical fitness level. Everyone knew that laying around in a bed all day long didn’t help with staying fit and healthy.
George was in the middle of a meeting with the Williams engineers, sitting on his hotel bed, when he got the text that they would wake up Hana that day finally. Although he couldn’t just drop everything and leave for the hospital but made sure that their call finished as soon as possible, so he could get going. When he entered the hospital room she already had a bit more lively color but there was no sign of her being back to full consciousness yet. They were still inside the few hour window of the drugs finally working and didn’t really have to fear that something was going wrong. George was just sitting in the armchair next to the bed, legs pulled up and his fingers scrolling away on his phone while Hana’s mum was out for a coffee. Her dad couldn’t take off more time from work, but he was fine with the two of them looking after his daughter until he could visit in the late afternoons. The half-an-hour-checkups were slowly driving George crazy as the nurses never had answers, just took the data from the little screens and left with an understanding smile. It must have been between the 10th and 11th visit when they finally spotted a few movements, but it took another hour for her to finally open her eyes.
From the moment that she moved her arm for the first time George couldn’t get himself to sit back into the chair, rather opting for a walk down the hallway and then circling the room several times. Martha could only watch him pace but knew there weren’t any words that could help him calm down. They both knew they were finally getting closer to getting her back as much as they could in this moment of time, and it was nerve wracking to not have an exact time limit for it. It wasn’t surprising that he was the first one stepping next to hana’s bed when her eyes finally opened, with her mum arriving second. There were almost immediately several nurses and of course her main doctor stepping into the room, after being called through the installed button. While they tried not to overwhelm her they still had to run a few tests and George’s stomach turned at how scared Hana looked, before settling down at her mum’s gentle touch on her hand. They took their sweet time examining every little corner of her body and asking questions about her pain levels and just general state, leaving all of them tired from the stress and concentration when they finally finished everything up. There was only one nurse staying back to get some medication ready for Hana, when she could finally take a breather and look around the room. Seconds later her eyes finally reached George, and there was an evident smile getting onto her face.
“ Hello. ” Her voice was almost like music to his ears, after so many days of not being able to hear it, and George couldn’t help the relieved sigh that left his body.
“ Welcome back! ” He smiled down at her, squeezing her hand on the bed gently. He was still scared to use full force, after seeing how fragile the human body was actually. These were the few moments that made you realise you have no superpowers and that you’re not indestructible.
