@paradiseturnedhell (Sam) cont. from here.
“That’s kind of my point,” Sam shrugged and paused oposite the mirror image of himself. The softer version anyway, “Look I get it. I’m a dick. If anyones a monster it’s me yadda yadda. I’m not telling you to not... well, feel. You can’t help it, but you can stop wallowing in self pity and sort out what was really our fault and what we were lead to believe to by others,” he explained, “For someone who’s supposed to be clever, you can be real dumb. The whole Ruby bullshit? She was a good manipulator. She swooped in exactly when we needed someone the most. Both Heaven and Hell was against us. Last I checked, we could do a lot of things, but predict the future wasn’t one of them.”
He paused and thought for a second since that wasn’t exactly correct, “Well you know. Futures that doesn’t involve crazy kids and all that,” he shrugged, studying the dirt under his nails, “Don’t deny it. It was relieving to be soulless for a little while. Get all that guilt off your shoulders for a little while? Hell, Dean set off the 66 seals in the first place and yet we’re the one who had to go to Hell? If anyone should be wallowing in guilt it’s him.”
He paused and smiled at Sam’s words, “It’s called self defense. It’s all I got. Can you blame me? Still. You won, so I don’t see what you’re complaining about now. You had the balls to shoot yourself in the heart. You had more backbone than I expected. You outsmarted me. Not too bad.”
