Memories of Another Time
║𝚂𝚘𝚗𝚐: 𝙾𝚔𝚊𝚢 𝚝𝚘 𝙽𝚘𝚝 𝙱𝚎 𝙾𝚔𝚊𝚢 𝚋𝚢 𝙳𝚎𝚖𝚒 𝙻𝚘𝚟𝚊𝚝𝚘║ ║𝙻𝚢𝚛𝚒𝚌: 𝙸𝚝'𝚜 𝚘𝚗𝚕𝚢 𝚌𝚊𝚞𝚜𝚎 𝚢𝚘𝚞'𝚛𝚎 𝚑𝚞𝚖𝚊𝚗.║ ║𝙿𝚊𝚒𝚛𝚒𝚗𝚐: 𝙻𝚞𝚌𝚑𝚊𝚜𝚊𝚞𝚛𝚞𝚜 𝚡 𝙶𝚛𝚊𝚌𝚎 𝙶𝚊𝚕𝚕𝚘𝚠𝚊𝚢 (𝚘𝚌)║ ║𝚅𝚎𝚛𝚜𝚎: 𝙼𝚊𝚒𝚗║ ║𝚆𝚊𝚛𝚗𝚒𝚗𝚐: 𝙼𝚎𝚗𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗𝚜 𝚘𝚏 𝚊𝚋𝚞𝚜𝚎, 𝚖𝚎𝚗𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗𝚜 𝚘𝚏 𝚋𝚘𝚍𝚢 𝚑𝚘𝚛𝚛𝚘𝚛║ ║𝚆𝚘𝚛𝚍 𝙲𝚘𝚞𝚗𝚝: 𝟷,𝟺𝟷𝟸║
𝑯𝒆 𝒘𝒂𝒔 𝒓𝒖𝒏𝒏𝒊𝒏𝒈, 𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒓𝒆 𝒘𝒂𝒔 𝒏𝒐 𝒎𝒊𝒔𝒕𝒂𝒌𝒆 𝒂𝒃𝒐𝒖𝒕 𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒕. 𝑺𝒐𝒎𝒆𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒘𝒂𝒔 𝒄𝒐𝒎𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒉𝒆 𝒄𝒐𝒖𝒍𝒅𝒏'𝒕 𝒆𝒔𝒄𝒂𝒑𝒆 𝒊𝒕. 𝑯𝒆 𝒘𝒂𝒔 𝒎𝒖𝒄𝒉 𝒕𝒂𝒍𝒍𝒆𝒓 𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒏 𝒂𝒏𝒚 𝒐𝒇 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒐𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒓𝒔 𝒖𝒏𝒅𝒆𝒓 𝒉𝒊𝒔 𝒎𝒂𝒔𝒔𝒊𝒗𝒆 𝒇𝒆𝒆𝒕, 𝒃𝒖𝒕 𝒍𝒐𝒘𝒆𝒓 𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒏 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒃𝒓𝒂𝒏𝒄𝒉𝒆𝒔 𝒐𝒇 𝒕𝒓𝒆𝒆𝒔 𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒔𝒆𝒆𝒎𝒆𝒅 𝒎𝒖𝒄𝒉 𝒕𝒂𝒍𝒍𝒆𝒓 𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒏 𝒂𝒏𝒚 𝒉𝒆 𝒄𝒐𝒖𝒍𝒅 𝒓𝒆𝒄𝒂𝒍𝒍 𝒇𝒓𝒐𝒎…𝒘𝒉𝒆𝒓𝒆 𝒄𝒐𝒖𝒍𝒅 𝒉𝒆 𝒓𝒆𝒄𝒂𝒍𝒍 𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒎 𝒇𝒓𝒐𝒎.ᐣ 𝑰𝒕 𝒘𝒂𝒔 𝒂 𝒇𝒆𝒊𝒏𝒕 𝒎𝒆𝒎𝒐𝒓𝒚 𝒂𝒔 𝒃𝒊𝒕𝒕𝒆𝒓 𝒐𝒏 𝒉𝒊𝒔 𝒎𝒂𝒔𝒔𝒊𝒗𝒆, 𝒔𝒍𝒐𝒃𝒃𝒆𝒓𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒕𝒐𝒏𝒈𝒖𝒆 𝒂𝒔 𝒉𝒆 𝒓𝒂𝒏 𝒃𝒆𝒕𝒘𝒆𝒆𝒏 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒎𝒂𝒔𝒔𝒊𝒗𝒆 𝒄𝒐𝒏𝒊𝒇𝒆𝒓𝒔 𝒊𝒏 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒅𝒂𝒓𝒌𝒆𝒏𝒆𝒅 𝒇𝒐𝒓𝒆𝒔𝒕. 𝑨 𝒇𝒍𝒂𝒔𝒉 𝒐𝒇 𝒍𝒊𝒈𝒉𝒕𝒆𝒏𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒊𝒍𝒍𝒖𝒎𝒊𝒏𝒂𝒕𝒆𝒅 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒇𝒐𝒓𝒆𝒔𝒕 𝒂𝒓𝒐𝒖𝒏𝒅 𝒉𝒊𝒎, 𝒇𝒂𝒕 𝒅𝒓𝒐𝒑𝒍𝒆𝒕𝒔 𝒐𝒇 𝒓𝒂𝒊𝒏 𝒓𝒐𝒍𝒍𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒅𝒐𝒘𝒏 𝒉𝒊𝒔 𝒓𝒐𝒖𝒈𝒉 𝒔𝒌𝒊𝒏, 𝒂𝒔 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒍𝒐𝒖𝒅𝒆𝒔𝒕 𝒄𝒓𝒂𝒄𝒌 𝒐𝒇 𝒕𝒉𝒖𝒏𝒅𝒆𝒓 𝒉𝒆 𝒉𝒂𝒅 𝒆𝒗𝒆𝒓 𝒉𝒆𝒂𝒓𝒅 𝒊𝒏 𝒉𝒊𝒔 𝒍𝒊𝒇𝒆 𝒄𝒓𝒂𝒔𝒉𝒆𝒅 𝒂𝒓𝒐𝒖𝒏𝒅 𝒉𝒊𝒎. 𝑰𝒏 𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒎𝒐𝒎𝒆𝒏𝒕, 𝒉𝒆 𝒘𝒂𝒔 𝒂𝒄𝒖𝒕𝒆𝒍𝒚 𝒂𝒘𝒂𝒓𝒆 𝒐𝒇 𝒔𝒐𝒎𝒆𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒈. 𝑵𝒐𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒆𝒍𝒔𝒆 𝒘𝒂𝒔 𝒄𝒐𝒎𝒊𝒏𝒈. 𝑵𝒐 𝒐𝒏𝒆 𝒆𝒍𝒔𝒆 𝒘𝒂𝒔 𝒄𝒐𝒎𝒊𝒏𝒈. 𝑻𝒉𝒆 𝒔𝒎𝒂𝒍𝒍 𝒄𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒕𝒖𝒓𝒆𝒔 𝒘𝒆𝒓𝒆 𝒓𝒖𝒏𝒏𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒇𝒓𝒐𝒎 𝒉𝒊𝒎. 𝑻𝒉𝒆𝒓𝒆 𝒘𝒂𝒔 𝒏𝒐𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒂𝒔 𝒕𝒆𝒓𝒓𝒊𝒇𝒚𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒂𝒔 𝒉𝒊𝒎𝒔𝒆𝒍𝒇, 𝒏𝒐 𝒐𝒏𝒆 𝒘𝒊𝒕𝒉 𝒕𝒆𝒆𝒕𝒉 𝒂𝒔 𝒎𝒂𝒔𝒔𝒊𝒗𝒆 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒔𝒉𝒂𝒓𝒑 𝒂𝒔 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒐𝒏𝒆𝒔 𝒊𝒏𝒔𝒊𝒅𝒆 𝒐𝒇 𝒉𝒊𝒔 𝒘𝒊𝒅𝒆 𝒎𝒐𝒖𝒕𝒉 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒔𝒕𝒓𝒐𝒏𝒈 𝒋𝒂𝒘, 𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒅𝒚 𝒕𝒐 𝒕𝒆𝒂𝒓 𝒇𝒍𝒆𝒔𝒉 𝒂𝒔𝒖𝒏𝒅𝒆𝒓 𝒂𝒔 𝒉𝒆 𝒔𝒄𝒐𝒐𝒑𝒆𝒅 𝒐𝒏𝒆 𝒐𝒇 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒔𝒎𝒂𝒍𝒍 𝒓𝒆𝒑𝒕𝒊𝒍𝒆𝒔 𝒓𝒖𝒏𝒏𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒂𝒍𝒐𝒏𝒈𝒔𝒊𝒅𝒆 𝒉𝒊𝒎 𝒖𝒑 𝒘𝒊𝒕𝒉 𝒂 𝒍𝒐𝒏𝒈, 𝒔𝒉𝒂𝒓𝒑 𝒄𝒍𝒂𝒘 𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒕𝒐𝒓𝒆 𝒊𝒏𝒕𝒐 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒃𝒂𝒄𝒌 𝒐𝒇 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒔𝒎𝒂𝒍𝒍 𝒃𝒆𝒂𝒔𝒕.
𝑯𝒆 𝒘𝒂𝒔 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒕𝒆𝒓𝒓𝒐𝒓. 𝑯𝒆 𝒘𝒂𝒔 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒇𝒆𝒂𝒓. 𝑯𝒆 𝒘𝒂𝒔…
With a low gasp of a breath, the man known to very few as Austin Matelson bolted upright in the king-sized bed in the quiet of his dark bedroom. This wasn't the forest of a long forgotten primeval world, far from it in all actuality. The closest thing in his home to one of the massive conifers with their sharp needle-filled branches were the few houseplants he had managed to keep alive. HIs skin wasn't rough at all, in fact thanks to his warm shower earlier taken in an effort to lull him into a peaceful sleep, his skin felt soft with the rose-scented exfoliating scrub he used, the floral scent making him feel even more at ease. No, no the dream of a world that was terrified of him was in no way the truth, no matter how very real it had seemed. His large hands scrubbed over his face as Austin tried to catch his breath, not wanting to wake what was supposed to be his sleeping partner next to him.
When he felt a small, feminine hand on his too warm shoulder, Austin knew that his partner was indeed not sleeping.
"Grace," he turned his head to look at the woman behind him with a gentle fondness in his darkened brown eyes, still heavy from lack of a peaceful sleep, "did I-"
"Nae, nae," the gentle Scottish lilt was soft in the darkened room, shining green eyes bright even in the darkness behind him, "I just finished doing some reading. Trying tae work on some personalized lesson plans for some of the older students."
A small smile took Austin's lips, eyes cutting down to his lap covered by the thick black bed covers. It was no surprise to Austin that he'd ended up falling in love with a woman who was not only well aware of the world of professional wrestling, but someone who loved literature just as well as he did. Grace had been that woman. While Austin would have loved to have had a chance meeting, a one off interaction that led to more, that was far from it. Long before he had stalked the halls of AEW, there had been another company that Austin had hoped would be his forever home, a company he had only spent a few years in as he toiled away in the Florida heat to prove how worthy he was. Grace had been visiting a friend of her and her brothers, an Englishman who considered himself bad news, but had always been willing to have a brilliant conversation with Austin about the books he had been reading. In the beginning, Austin hadn't been interested. He hadn't wanted anything more than a friendship, but Grace had a way of making herself comfortable in the hearts of those around her.
His personal reading might have fallen by the wayside after…well…the less that Austin had to think about the time had had spent under the oppressive thumb of Christian Cage, the better. Austin's throat still ached when he tried to speak, as if he could still feel the electricity buzzing through the flesh at its center and spreading down into the upper parts of his shoulders. He struggled to find words, trying hard to say anything to show his support for Grace, only to let out a small and frustrated growl when he couldn't produce any.
"Shh, shh," Grace protested to stop Austin from trying to speak up if he wasn't ready. She wrapped her arms around Austin's tree trunk esque torso, her long legs wrapped around his thick waist. She pressed a gentle kiss to the crook of his shoulder, before resting her pointed chin on the smooth flesh. "You haven't got tae talk. You never have tae talk if ya dinnae want tae."
"Words. Hard," Austin growled, the dream he had of…he didn't want to call it a life before, but it was starting to feel as if there was no other way to describe it other than as a life he had once lived in a much different world. The dream felt even more real in this moment, as if his fingers would extend painfully with cracks and snaps into the long and pointed black claws he could feel in his dreams. He cracked his lower jaw, moving it from side-to-side, almost waiting for the sharp teeth to press through his gums.
"We don't have to talk," Grace tried to assured with a gentle hum, her fingers splayed comfortably against his stomach, feeling the little bit of fuzz that covered his stomach. "If words are hard, we never have to talk. Not until you're ready."
Austin could feel the angry tears starting to fill his eyes as he blinked into the darkness of the bedroom. How was he supposed to explain that he no longer felt like himself, that he hadn't felt like the well-read master's level college graduate since long before his run alongside Jack and Christian had ended. While a part of Austin knew it was different now, that he no longer geared the man he worked alongside and had gone back to being a parental figure to the Perry twins he had come to the company with, there was still a part of Austin that felt so fundamentally changed by he didn't know how to be the man he was. With a growl, he managed to utter only one monosyllabic word, "Why?"
"Why? Why what, Austin?" Grace seemed confused for just a moment, trying to knit together the question in her beloved's low growl.
"Why. Can't. I-" he growled low again, one of his large hands covering one of her much smaller ones, dragging it past his chest until her fingers sat at the bottom of his throat, "Why?"
"Oh, lovie…" Grace's voice was full of a sudden sadness, almost veering into pity, and to Austin there was nothing worse than pity, "You went through a large trauma. Christian wasn't good to you. This? All of this? It's only cause you're human."
Human. That almost felt wrong to Austin. Did humans have the sort of dreams that left them feeling so viscerally scared of who they once might have been? Was he scared of what he could feel himself doing in that dream? Picking something small, something helpless, up in overly large claws and tearing it asunder? The hot, heavy tears that splashed against the covers bunched up around his waist revealed that he was, deep in his core, scared to be anything like that monster. Even worse, Austin was afraid that in the eyes of the Perry Twins, who he had once betrayed in order to try and make his career go further, the monster who had stabbed them in the back with long claws to get what he wanted. Austin relaxed into her arms, letting Grace guide him back into laying back down. She quickly manuevered so that her red-hair fanned out over Austin's tattooed chest, listening to his heartbeat. One of his hands moved up to stroke her hair, as if using it to calm down the nerves that he felt inside.
Did he feel human? Not particularly. Did he feel a little more human in the arms of a woman he loved? Absolutely.