A3! EVER LASTING LP: Sakuya's Diary
"Today is the day that my life changed. I think things will only continue to change day by day. I just have this feeling."
To begin, yesterday I suddenly got news that I would be starring in my first play. My manager had suddenly asked me to play the lead even though I had just joined the troupe. With this pressure, I needed to make sure the performance was a success. I was really excited about this new opportunity. Honestly speaking though, it was pretty hectic trying to get ready in time. The costumes and everything were all makeshift. To add even more stress to the day it seemed like we ran out of my co-star’s (co-bird? whatever he is), favourite food and he was making quite a fuss all morning. He was so loud I could barely do any decent practice.
I had always dreamed of one day being able to stand on stage. Whenever I would read plays I would imagine myself as each of the characters. I remember reciting line after line over and over again, just imagining how it would feel to perform. Everything felt as if it were a dream, I was finally going to perform on stage. I felt like I was on top of the world, there were no words to describe how excited I felt. Even though the audience was just two people, I worked as hard as I could. I can still hear the applause when I close my eyes. It is something I treasure deeply and I will never forget how much it meant to me.
But then, everything came crashing down, sending me on a rollercoaster of emotions. We got word from a yakuza-looking guy that he would be tearing down the theatre I had just joined. My vision went black and my heart sank. I knew my first performance didn’t draw much of a crowd, but I was determined to practice more for the next performance. I just couldn’t believe this would be the end. Back then I thought I had finally found the place where I belonged, a stage where I can stand proudly. I could not just sit back and let it all be ripped away from me so quickly. I am sure the theatre would have been destroyed that day if it wasn’t for the troupe’s new general director stepping in and bargaining with the scary yakuza man. She made a deal with him that we would bring new people to the troupe for our next performance. She promised me that the troupe would be successful and our theatre would not be torn down.
So together with the director and manager, we all took to the streets to perform a little street act. We managed to recruit a boy from my school named Usui Masumi. He is a popular guy from my school who always has a cluster of girls following him wherever he goes. Everyone knows his name, you could even say he is a bit of a school celebrity. No surprise though, Masumi didn’t know who I was before he joined the troupe. The next to join was a boy named Minagi Tsuzuru. He joined the troupe as both an actor and our main playwright. He seemed like a reliable guy who was honest about wanting to learn more about theatre.
After that we brought everyone to the dorm where we would be living. Our small dorm of just two people was now a dorm of five. Even though we were still a small group, having the others around to chat with from time to time gave me a good feeling about the future. I felt pretty happy. On top of that, it was nice to having others in the practice room with me. That evening the director made curry for us as we watched videos of the first generation Spring Troupe. Compared to my first performance they were in a league of their own. Their performances were just amazing. Watching their videos inspires me to continue to work hard to become a great actor. But to tell you the truth, right now I find it hard to imagine what it would feel like to be such an accomplished actor. It may seem far away, but I am sure that with everyone working hard and studying the art of theatre, we can make each performance better than the last. The more experience we get, the closer we will become to being just as good as the first generation. They were what I am striving for, I want to be just like them. And now I am no longer alone on this journey anymore. With the others by my side, I am sure I can make my dream come true.
Before heading to bed, I spoke with the others in the lounge about the performance we watched. Masumi seemed disinterested in talking about acting, but he said that he would listen to whatever the director was saying, which was why he was still there. We talked about a number of things, including the director’s past work as an actress, our manager’s experience with the first generation of MANKAI Company, as well as Tsuzuru’s and my favourite plays. Since we are going to start practice early tomorrow, we said it was best if we didn’t talk for too long. However by the time we were done talking it was pretty late. I hope we can have more conversations like that in the future, I want to know more about the others and about theatre.
And finally the end of the day has come. I closed my eyes but my head is still full of all of the thoughts from the events of the day. My body is tired, but my heart is still racing so I decided to write everything down in this diary. Our practice is going to start tomorrow. Although the thing I am most nervous about is us all practicing together. My heart is pounding with excitement, there is no way I can sleep tonight. I wonder what it will be like to practice as a troupe. I wonder what kind of actors we will all become. I wonder how we will each deliver our lines. I keep thinking about the day we can all stand on stage together, I’m way too excited about it all.
Today is the day that my life changed. I think things will only continue to change day by day. I just have this feeling.
Sakuma Sakuya
