Jul 18, 2020
Things I would rather do than manage outpatient chronic pain complaints:
Be stuck in an 18-hour digital replantation case without breaks.
Perform a thousand epidurals on squirming parturients with BMIs greater than 50.
Rub Vaseline on a haggard witch’s crusty bunions.
Spend eternity locked in a windowless cell while forced to watch Cardi B and Kim Kardashian talking American politics.
Pick dingleberries off of a woolly mammoth in heat.
Listen to a marathon “Florence Foster Jenkins Sings Mozart” concert while locked in a non-air-conditioned car in 110-degree weather.
Be lectured by Macklemore on precisely how un-woke I am.
Eat a thousand live fire ants.
Share a tiny bunk with a registered sex offender in Guantanamo.
Literally anything else.
