Comfort (Caduceus Clay X Reader)
Summary: With the tragedy at the Ashkeeper Peaks plaguing you with nightmares of your fallen comrades, who else will comfort you in the night but the lovable Firbolg himsel
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The screams were always the worst past of your re-occurring nightmares. Not the ones of the nameless, the one you never knew but swore to protect anyway. No. The gut wrenching cries of your paladin friends. Kaulden, Raine, Wilfred. All the friends you ever made at the order died during that fight with the Kryn Dynasty. And for what? Glory? Peace? A better future? What did that matter to the people who died. What did that matter to the families that had to mourn the deaths of their loved one while everyone else celebrated what their loved one sacrificed to give them. The populous would never truly know their saviours or care after a month goes by. So why did they sacrifice themselves anyway?
“Because we have the strength to do so and no-one else will!” Is what Wilfred would’ve said, laughing boisterously as he downed his sixth cup of mead, the drink not even touching the sides or getting him even slightly tipsy. You used to love his stories of valour and glory; of helping strangers and kings. But after the events at the Ashkeeper Peaks, you were pretty disillusioned from stories with happy endings, or stories of valour. Especially since all you were left with from your time in the order was grief and guilt, and you were the one left with the nightmares; not them. Which brings you to tonight…
“No...don’t touch her...NOOO!” You moaned and screamed as you came to from your nightmare once again. No matter how many times you relived it, you still could never take the images of Raine; the halfling who took you under her wing; being cut down by a gnoll, who howled with laughter as he did it. You made short work of the gnoll afterwards, but there was no bringing back her spark of light, not matter how hard the blue tiefling and firbolg tried when you begged them to help.
The dreams always left you gasping for air, shaking and sweating in your sheets as you tried to calm yourself down. And tonight is no different. As you tried to calm down; you looked around the room; the twilight steaming through the semi-circle window. You called it ‘the’ room instead of ‘your’ room, since you assumed that the people you were currently with would kick you out at any moment, and you didn’t want to grow attached to the group in case that happened. It didn’t help that you weren’t entirely comfortable with sleeping in a house on enemy territory, but the half-orc, who appeared to be the leader of the group, insisted that you should go with them for now until you’re able to contact someone to let them know what happened to your group. So here you sat. In a room far from home, in the middle of the enemy’s territory, with no way to tell anyone what happen. Reaizing you predicament, you began to fall into despair… but before you can think for long, there’s a knock on ‘the’ door.
“(Y/N)? Can I come in?” A voice sounds from the other side of the door. And slowly, the door creaks open to reveal that the voice belongs to Caduceus; the firbolg that tried to save Raine, and comforted you as you travelled with the group into enemy territory, disguising you and protecting you from onlookers.
“Oh.... Caduceus? What’re you doing here?” You asked, trying to mask that you had been crying, the darkness being your friend at the moment.
“Oh, I was getting some fertiliser for the plants upstairs, when I heard shouting. Are you ok?” He replied, holding up a jug, which he appeared to be using as a scoop for the fertiliser. Looking rather concerned for your well being, he started to step into the room just a little.
“On no it’s ok! I’m fine, I swear!” You say, trying to deflect what you were actually feeling, not wanting to bother him further. He’d been one of the ones who truly looked after you after the incident with your friends; trying to coax you into talking and keeping an eye on you when travelling into town, so you didn’t want to burden him anymore than you felt you already had.
“Hmmmm…” Was all he said in response, putting a hand to his chin and stroking his beard while he looked you up and down; the way an appraiser would look at a very fragile vase.
“You look like you could do with some tea. I’ll make a pot.” Caduceus said quickly as he left the room, in a effort to get it done before you could even protest. And while you tried to sputter out a response before he did so, you could tell that you were in a losing battle. So while he went to the kitchen, you tried to clean yourself up a bit to get rid of the tears and smooth down your bed hair.
“If I look like i’m ok, he’ll just leave after giving me the cup. It’ll be fine (Y/N).” You thought to yourself as you went back to sitting on the edge of your bed, taking in some deep breaths to calm yourself down. Eventually, Caduceus came back into the room with two cups in his hands.
“Here you go. May I?” He asked, nodding at the bed, asking if he could sit down.
“Oh… Sure. This tea is nice by the way. What is it? It’s not dead people tea is it?”
“No no… just some chamomile I picked up in town,” He chuckled, taking asip on his own cup. “But you’re deflecting right now. That’s how I can tell something’s wrong. Was it a bad dream?”
“I’m fine. You shouldn’t have to worry about me. You should go back to the flowers.” You sighed, putting your cup on the chest that rested against the bottom of your bed,
“It’s not good to bottle up your feelings (Y/N). It’ll just make you feel worse” He said, putting his own cup on the nightstand and turning to face you properly, giving you his full attention.
“But… no. It’s fine. I’m fine. I won’t be a burden to you or your friends Caduceus. I can sort this out on my own. I-” You started, but you were cut off by Caduceus, who pulled you into his chest and hugged you. The warmth feeling like he’d just draped a woollen blanket over you, the smell of tea and soil on his skin also helping to sooth you just a little.
“No-one here thinks you’re a burden (Y/N). In fact, Beau was just saying the other day how resilient she thought you were. But you know… despite how resilient you might be, it’s ok to not be ok sometimes. Right?” He asked, squeezing you just slightly as he said this.
And with those words, you couldn’t hold it in anymore. At first, you cried slowly and silently, like you believed you could still conceal the truth from the perceptive firbolg in front of you. But the tears kept rolling, and as he started to stroke his hands up your arms in comfort. You finally let the bottled up emotions loose, flowing like a champagne bottle after being shook. You cried and cried, for who knows how long, telling him about your friends, about your guilt, about how you have no idea how you’re going to tell their families what happened to them. And he sat there, not saying a word and comforting you with his warmth. Eventually, after you had calmed down enough, you looked up at the pink haired man, in both awe and embarrassment.
“Thanks Caduceus… I don’t think I realised how much I actually needed that.” You mumbled, sleep trying to take over your emotionally exhausted body. Telling that you were about to nod off, Caduceus chuckled and slowly laid you onto the bed, fetching a blanket that was bundled up at the top of your wardrobe and laying it up to of you.
“No one ever truly does. But if you ever need a ear to hear your troubles, you know where to find me.” And with a quick kiss to your temple, he picked up the long abandoned cups of tea, and left the room, looking over his shoulder one last time to smile at you as he closed your bedroom door.
“Maybe there is still a reason to fight… if it means I can keep people like him safe long enough to comfort others. I’ll have to thank him properly in the morning. You thought to yourself as you slowly allowed yourself to be embraced by sleep. Thinking up how to thank him will just have to wait until tomorrow.