Unsaid
PERSONAL LOG - KEEPER FYET-GREYSTORM BEGIN AUDIO PLAYBACK There are so many things in this galaxy that stun me to immobility for at least a second. Most of these originate with Alti, admittedly. However, they have been coming in greater succession the last few days. Beginning with ... Muffin head-butted a Darth. My tauntaun. Headbutted. A Darth. Muffin is getting all the treats I can muster, and Rilus is not allowed to complain about the lingering smell of tauntaun in the hamper because of my riding clothes anymore. Also I need to compose a thank-you note to Paetra that does not include the words 'Darth-related abduction scenario' or any variation thereupon. He'd only worry. ...Actually, I sort of feel that I should write to Sedryn as well. I mean, I do usually, but ... they're little things. He knows the Marran; he has some sense of the topics I'm avoiding. So I tell him about the move to the Nexus world without mentioning the infestation of Albrect IV. I told him about the changes in the Marran infrastructure - how I'm a Keeper now and not an Apothecary (though some people do still call me that from time to time, for which I'm glad). I talk about the new quarters, the new bistro, new friends and teaching their gizka how to tap-dance, my medical lecture tour ... I don't mention Evanent or Jettak or Vyennis. I told him I was going to see Iridonia, but I didn't tell him about the business with Kelnark. This is different, though. This is ... he has a history with Raath, apparently. If Raath is out there, I don't know who or what he'd be after, and it feels like I should warn him. But ... I don't know. If he's not Marran, not Jedi, not doing much of anything but looking after his family ... maybe he's safer that way. Raath did not strike me as the sort of person out for blood on everyone he's ever fought. I don't want to worry Sedryn without cause ... but if I'm wrong and Sedryn ends up asking why no one told him ... how will I feel then? I'll ask advice on the matter, I think. If nothing else, I wonder what he'd think of the irony that the Darth he helped at least temporarily defeat is now hunting his former squire. Not that Raath wants to do anything to me, particularly. That's the bizarre part. He doesn't want me dead - in fact, he very much does not want me dead. He wants me out of the way. There has to be a reason for it but we're still waiting on Caej's research for any indication as to why. Either way, it would have involved incarceration in a stasis prison. Which sounds like the worst sort of sensory deprivation for someone like me. The concept is a little frightening ... almost as much so as these artefacts screaming at me at all. Those that are tied to my bloodline want me to use them. I won't do it. I let myself get captured rather than even try. In any event, all we know for sure is that Raath is very likely the human heir to these 'Covenant of Three' relics, and recognises me as a hydrospanner in the works of whatever plans he's making. ...nerf. ...Arbiter Nyomi is angry, which is to be expected given that Raath cut her arm off. What I did not expect - what also stuns me - is how angry the Archon reportedly became at the news. This is not on my behalf, surely. He'd be just as angry if Raath had gone after any of the Marran, I'm sure. It's still ... strange. I speak out so strongly against considering people assets, resources ... pawns. And yet I'm surprised when people do the same for me. Still. After all this time. Maybe it's something I'll never get over. Maybe that's not a bad thing. After all, I'll never take it for granted that people care. It will always be something I ... all right, I hesitate over, but I look at with wonder and gratitude. Plus I suppose my perception's a little skewed. I don't speak to the Archon much but he gets more worked up over this than Rilus does. But then, different sorts of people. There are reasons that the Council isn't more worried about my relationship with Rilus. And the med techs tell me he was working in that 'competent but speedy because worried' way he has when dealing with the sedative overdose Raath probably unwittingly administered. That's demonstrative enough for me. And he made me breakfast after I was done working in medbay. Fine, it was slightly burned toast, but the caff was good and it's the thought that counts. Work is still work, and everyone still comes to me before anyone else on matters medical. I woke up from what was reportedly a shallow coma to the sound of Coggil over comms asking me to see to Anyadi, who had received a particularly brutal stab wound in some altercation that apparently involved 'zombies'. We see too many examples of walking dead in our day to day. Also, Nake wants a chat with me, at least in part about her appetite. Which is abnormally large and ... well, the problem there is that I can't even see her most of the time. It takes effort and honestly, I'll have to have med techs taking all the samples and scans, which I'll analyse later. I can't say I mind overmuch, though. It's nice to be able to help, is all. In other news, I finally have quarters large enough to put up those holopictures the Mandalorians keep giving me. Turns out that they're all stills of things I have fought with the Marran, taken from stills from Third Marine helmet-cams. Giant robots, giant Sithspawn, not-so-giant Sithspawn, various Sith, miscellaneous monsters... I have apparently fought a lot of people and things with the Marran. There's a whole wall of them. I'm not sure about keeping a 'trophy wall', which I think is what the Mandalorians had in mind, but Master Sortek says that Jedi do keep keepsakes of some battles and besides, they were trying to be nice. And Rilus doesn't seem to mind too much. Also ... Alasha and I talked about family a little the other day. Not blood relatives - the ones that chose us. She was wondering what the Council would think about her possibly taking the Archon's family name. I didn't articulate it very well, but ... in my view, she's not just doing it for the Archon. She's doing it to honour all her family - Kanth and Master Nebulis, Mickey, the Archon's mother ... all of them. Much as I took the name Greystorm to honour Mae and Ahri and Alti and Maetra and Paetra. Names mean things. They say who we are. And if she feels that she is an Oneirous, then she should feel free to take that name, if the family is willing. And I would be willing to wager they are. Sometimes I feel guilty for not taking the name Aefyet Sohl back, when I remembered it was mine. But ... it's not, really. Aefyet Sohl is a six-year-old girl who died on Coruscant. I keep parts of it - the 'family name' that's a mangling of my old given name, the 'given name' that was given as an endearment and stuck more than anyone expected ... and Greystorm, because that's what I am. Even if the nobility does make me uncomfortable sometimes. I suppose names say the things we need them to say, as I said before. Just ... subtly.
