voicemail of: jake martin
Bianca: stared at the quickly shrinking joint pinched between her thumb and pointer finger of her right hand, her eyes narrowing as she watched the tip burn. She always thought best when she was high, but she also always made poor decisions when she was high. In that moment, though, as she took one last hit before putting the joint out, she was convinced that this idea, it was a good one. Picking up her phone that lay beside her in bed, she pressed Jake's name in her list of contacts before holding the phone to her ear. It rang and rang, she should have been growing nervous, but her thoughts were floating happily inside her head, prepared to come spilling out of her mouth soon. When she got his voicemail, she pouted, but she was determined to get her thoughts out, so when it beeped, her mouth opened and everything began to pour out, "Jakey, I wish you had answered, but I guess voicemail will do! If you haven't noticed, because you're blind possibly, I have an interest in you. And it's more than a friendship interest. Which is terrifying, if you didn't know. And so the other night, at the dance, I saw you.. You are surrounded by girls a lot, huh? I wanted to talk to you, but I didn't. Obviously. I'm just wondering, are you worth it? I don't get my heart involved in things, like ever. My heart is heavily guarded, more guarded than Obama or the Queen of England! So, if I get my heart involved with you, I wanna know that it's worth the risk, you feel me? I mean, no pressure, I'm not asking for a relationship or anything, cause I'm still getting to know you and you're still getting to know me. But if we're gonna continue this getting to know each other stuff, I need to know if I'm going to end up hurt. I don't wanna get hurt. I hurt enough as it is, I'm not going to put myself in a position where pain is inevitable. I totally won't hate you if you have no interest here, but I will keep my distance. Cause right now all I can think about is you taking care of me and how no one has ever done that for me, but you did. And I want more of that. And I wanna take care of you. And I also wanna have sex with you. Funny story actually! I wanted to text you basically asking for sex, but I knew if we were to ever have sex, I'd completely fall for you and I know that would just be a lot of hurt and feelings and shit I don't do, so I texted Drew, my best friends ex, who she is still definitely in love with, and we totally got high and almost fucked. That's how desperate I am to avoid any sort of intimacy with you. Damn, but intimacy with you would be nice. You've got the most gentle hands. I mean, you've seen me naked before and you didn't try a damn thing! That's never happened. Every guy tries with me, even when I'm fully clothed and not fucked up on pills. I have to say, your smile, that's my favorite. I wanna do everything and anything to make you smile, cause it's like... the best sight ever. But anyways, I should stop talking. I just need to know if you're worth the risk. Or if I should just move on. I don't like having feelings, Jake. They hurt more than they feel good... Oh Jesus, I'm gonna go." Bianca hung up the phone and tossed it to the end of her bed. Staring up at the ceiling, she had an inkling that she just did something really fucking stupid, but her body was too relaxed to care. She'd freak out later.
