#callboy au

[adultistalking]

☆ STARKER ☆ catholic au

wanted to write this but I probably never will so here’s the moodboard I made, for you to enjoy

[imjustapieceofcake]

Milk Chapter.4

{ aokise call boy au }

chapter 4/?

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Last night,I was stuck with a rich old-ass customer who couldn’t get it up anymore so he made me fuck his wife in front of him until 3 AM. I barely got a few hours of sleep before my alarm went off. I’m still half asleep as I drag my feet to the shared kitchen - sleepy, tired and not in the fucking mood to hear Haizaki screaming this early in the goddamn morning. 

“What’s up his ass?” I grab some breakfast and pull out a chair from the table where almost everybody is at.

“Haizaki-chin is mad that the new guy is more popular than him”, Murasakibara says with his mouth full.

“Are you serious? It’s been a week!”

“Yeah”, he pauses to chew his food before he continues “Check the board.”

There’s a ranking board Akashi keeps just outside his office for all his employees to see. In just one week, Kise has already knocked Haizaki down from second place to third. I’m not worried about losing first place because the only one who can beat me is me and last I checked blondie wasn’t me.

“HE’S FUCKING CHEATING!”, Haizaki screams very unattractively.

“Who’s fucking cheating?” Laughs the source of Haizaki’s rage (and my sexual frustrations) as he waltz in all smiles and dimples and fuck does he just wake up looking perfect?

“Good morning!”, he sings and I almost say it back before I remember that I hate him and his gorgeous face. He flutters his eyelashes and stares at me, waiting for some kind of response that he knows I’m too stubborn to give so I just glare back at him. The others aren’t as inclined to stay quiet and I’m pretty sure just to annoy an-already-pissed-off Haizaki, they all greet Kise back with fake-ass smiles.

Haizaki grits his teeth and barks at Kise, “What kind of dirty trick have you been playing?”. Kise laughs, god that laugh.

“Nothing beyond the usual fun stuff, I don’t like to get too kinky.” I think both me and Haizaki cringe at this, but probably for different reasons.

“Y’know, Shougo”, Kise starts with a very provocative smile that I need to avert my eyes from to avoid getting swept away. “Maybe if you tried bottoming every now and then-”

“FUCK YOU MY ASS IS OFF LIMITS”, Haizaki cuts him off in an flustered fit of rage and storms out. Hanamiya and Imayoshi cackle like a bunch of hyenas in the background.

"It’s really not as bad as he thinks”, he jokes and walks closer to me. “Maybe he just needs someone to show him how good it can feel.” There’s a bunch of empty seats at the table but no he has to pick the one right next to me to sit on.

“Good luck finding a volunteer.” God dammit I was supposed to be giving him the silent treatment but my sarcastic nature got the better of me. Kise apparently took my response as an invitation to scoot his chair closer to me and whispered.

“I thought you preferred virgins”, he blows in my ear.

I stand up, having lost my appetite and have had it up to here with his flirting or whatever you wanna call what he’s doing to me. He’s about to follow up with another remark but I grab him by his stupid-gorgeous face and kiss him hard.

“I’d rather fuck someone who knows how to take it“, I whisper in his ear before ditching his now flustered face and walking out to the howling and heckling of the people we forgot were in the same room as us. Honestly, all I needed was a Mic to drop on my way out.

[unkingly]

So does Riko have a role in the callboy au? Or is he just his usual prick self? I love your stories by the way.

( thank you!! that makes me happy to hear, ah. )

hmm... riko’s role...

his role is the whiny, entitled, spoiled second son of the Moriyama fortune. so... usual prick self. :’D 

he probably makes life hell for Kevin, Andrew’s main business partner. though when he spends up a quarter of the Moriyama fortune just harassing Day and Minyard (and Neil + Andrew put together a scheme to expose some of his grosser habits, including some “suggestions” he had for the use of Neil’s mouth), the Moriyama family cuts him from the will and disowns him. 

that drives Riko to attempt some extreme revenge on Neil, who he’s sure put the idea in his brother’s head (because what Riko taking responsibility for his actions whaaat not even in this universe can that be a thing). 

it backfires. horribly.

Jeremy Knox hires Riko’s former butler and last “friend,” Jean Moreau, on Kevin’s suggestion. because ofc he does.

and so Riko dies without a penny to his name, alone and cold in some back alley.

it’s altogether slower and maybe worse than the quick death in canon. :’)

[unkingly]

so in your callboy au, I'm assuming - since Andrew is like, totally the 1% and has no business hanging around Neil's side of town unless he's picking Neil up - that Andrew never runs into Neil when he's with another customer, right? Or am I wrong?

Right!

Though imagine, after the Mac incident: Neil’s street harassment starts to drop and he’s not sure why

It’s pretty much immediately noticeable though because. like. people don’t not give him trouble.

But people lately (even rougher sorts he’s known since he was a kid) are almost avoiding him?? Business is a little slower, too. Fortunately Minyard makes up for 60% of Nathan’s current income so Neil only gets a bit of grief about it, but! it makes no sense!

Until he catches sight of this hot & tough as nails lady skulking around the outskirts of his neighborhood. She’s posing as a stripper but

He recognizes her as one of Andrew’s bodyguards

It takes another day or so but eventually he manages to catch her for a little chat and dryly asks, “So, Dan, how’s business”

She (wearing sunglasses and an annoyed but fond smile) shushes him

And then gripes about how much harder he makes her job as compared to guarding Andrew

[unkingly]

your callboy au is everything! could you write in the same au about a time when andrew comes to pick neil up for a weekend and one of neil's other clients beat him up a bit and andrew is just like FUCK NO THATS NOT HAPPENING

( + for the other anon that asked!! )

( … this went a little farther than “beat him up a bit.” uh. warning for a grade-A creepazoid, violence, and allusions to sexual/physical/domestic abuse. )

Six years turning tricks in the same city meant more than a few souls on the block recognized Neil’s face. Of those, two handfuls had paid up for the dubious honor of being a regular.

Mac, a brick house with a chipped face and a dozen unattended mini-Macs scattered across Maryland, was a regular Neil’s back knew well. Mac, you see, had a taste for paintings. A first rate appreciator of fine arts, he liked his women inked and his men marked.

Wait. No. He didn’t like men at all.

That was why he saw Neil. Maybe he had an urge here and there, a twist in the loins he couldn’t control, but one look at Neil cleared that up. The only way he could stand looking twice, he claimed, was with Neil improved.

(If it needed to be said: his six-inch skinning knife did the improving.)

He’d been jostled from his usual Saturday night slot by Andrew Did My Money Stutter Minyard. Happily, Neil hadn’t dealt with him in six weeks. In the interest of protecting Minyard and his mutual interests, his father had done a fine job of keeping Mac and his ilk off Neil’s tail. That couldn’t have been an easy feat given Minyard’s refusal to pick him up in anything less than a Maserati, but thus far, he’d managed.

So whoever it was that squealed on Neil’s pick up spot to Mac had better be on their way to China. Anywhere closer, and the Butcher’d have them swinging from the clock tower by their balls.

“I’m busy,” Neil repeated for what felt like the fiftieth time, the one-to-ten seconds he counted off to keep calm crumbling as Mac’s fingers dug tighter into his shoulder.

“Busy? Too busy for your favorite customer?” Cracked lips pulled back on yellowed teeth, brown eyes narrowing. “Bullshit. Who you seeing? Tell your old man I’ll pay double.”

Self-preservation begged Neil repeat what he had been repeating, a litaney that was about as safe as it would get. Unfortunately, as usual, his tongue ran away on him. “Yeah, sure. We both know you’d have to sell your girlfriend’s house to match even a quarter of what he’s paying.”

Mac’s eyes went wide.

Neil thought, Why did I say that.

(He didn’t regret it.)

A backhand that cracked his head back to the wall tried to convince him to regret it. He felt his cheek catch and break on– right, right. His recent girlfriend had been suckered into an engagement. She’d last to the wedding and, Neil bet, be jilted right on the altar, plus one in the oven and minus one at her side. It was always the same with Mac. Always, always, time and fucking time again.

Usually he had enough sense to keep his violence in the dark, but the weeks away must have made him miss Neil something fierce because he wasted no time at all in backing him to the wall and shoving an arm across his throat.

He spat something about smart mouths and ugly boys in his face. Try as he might to rag doll, Neil felt cold metal on his stomach and flinched, whole body seizing up. That pleased Mac, at least, going by the switch from insults to, “See? You can’t’ve forgotten me.”

Neil’s mouth clenched shut so hard his teeth might’ve cracked.

Then: a car horn blared.

Mac’s head whipped around, the knife in his hand mercifully not jumping. A door opened and by the footsteps, a man approached; by Mac’s, “The fuck you wan–?” it wasn’t a local.

By blond hair, blue eyes and a suit the same price as a week’s worth of work, it was the person who was supposed to have Neil up against the wall.

Instead, Andrew Minyard had Mac by the throat. A foot stuck out there, and Mac tripped sideways, falling to Andrew’s level and into Andrew’s knee. The knife clattered to the side; air whooshed out of lungs with a sick crunch, followed by a gasping, wet cough.

Neil had never seen someone less than five feet tall take down a six foot plus that fast without a weapon (though he had, while he attended school, seen a girl kneecap their teacher for interrupting a fight, she’d been at least five-foot-one). It was impressive. It was maybe horrific, if Neil tried to imagine he didn’t have fucked up standards of violence.

“Name?” Andrew demanded, cool as water melted from the untouched peaks of Mt. Everest, or wherever it was that his sort got their water from.

Mac gurgled a response that was not his name.

Andrew gave him a kick in the ribs with his nice, pointy leather shoes.

He didn’t repeat the question, but Mac gasped it out. “Mac Willford! Jesus, shit, you’re crazy! It’s a whore!”

Light as spun silk, toe jabbed into Mac’s bruised side to punctuate every description, “Touch him,” jab, gasp, “look at him, breathe the same air as him, and I’ll bury you alive, Mac Willford. Do I make myself clear?”

Finally having the guts and air to scramble away, Mac stuttered a, “Crystal,” and then, without even a glance in Neil’s direction, bolted.

Andrew Minyard watched him go. Then, he turned his cool Mt. Everest eyes on Neil.

Fingers gently touched his chin. Neil flinched. The hand immediately retracted, but Andrew’s gaze narrowed on Neil’s cheek.

Oh, right.

The scratch.

“Don’t worry,” Neil muttered, voice shakier than he wanted it to be (fuck, but he hated Mac), “you can argue for a discount.”

Those eyes snapped to his, expression blanked so quick Neil hadn’t even noticed it’d  been emoting.

Unsure of what to make of that, he continued with a, “Just take  a picture. It’s not that complicated. Your fancy smart watch comes with a camera, doesn’t it?”

“You knew him?”

“Who, Mac?” Panning through his mental database of reactions to give people that wouldn’t freak them out, Neil settled on a one-shouldered shrug. “Yeah. He’s an old buddy of my dad’s. Real creep, but never failed to show up on time.”

Andrew digested that. He was probably smart enough to pick up on the meaning and all the connecting threads to run with it.

Neil really didn’t care for the look on his face. He’d like to, he decided, get into the car.

Since Andrew was apparently too slow to make the leap, Neil nudged him along with, “Can we go, or what? You waiting for another chance to show off?”

"Didn't anyone teach you to say thank you," Andrew replied, “you ungrateful ass.”

Neil breathed a bit easier. That was more like it.

Where and why a businessman knew decent self-defense when he paid for bodyguards, Neil didn’t  know and didn’t ask.  Instead, he shot Andrew a grin, ignored the sharp pull on his cheek, and jauntily sauntered past him to the Maserati. As he slid in, Matt bombarded him with concerned questions while digging in the glove box for a med kit, all of which he waved off with little trouble. When Andrew joined and told him to bandage up before he dripped on the upholstery, it felt good. Even dirty Mac couldn’t mar this.

[ellebellebab]

Elvis is my daddy, Marilyn’s my mother, Jesus is my bestest friend. We don’t need nobody 'Cause we got each other, Or at least I pretend. A Callboy!Joel AU. Listen to it on 8tracks.

[peterparkerspackage-blog]

a;wejrwer

it's over

it was so good