Something called love
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Genre: angst Warnings: swearing
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A king has to be flawless.
That's something Callisto Regulus has heard all his life. Don't show your vulnerability, don't show your emotions, don't show you're hurt, don't show you care. These words are engraved in Callisto's mind, in his behaviors, in his heart, whether he likes it or not. It's not like he ever had a choice in the matter. But then why does he hate it so much right now when he's seeing you spit blood?
A king has to be flawless.
That's why he agreed with the arranged marriage with you, a marriage plotted by the empress to keep him in check. Or at least that's what he thought at first.
"Fuck this" he thought as he run to pick up your bloodied body from the ground. His body just moved on his own, his voice screamed for a physician, but he was stuck on your beautiful eyes which were losing their light.
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"I don't want this marriage as much as you. Unfortunately for you, Your Highness, I'm just a paw for my family, one they'll discard given the chance. I entered this marriage with the sole purpose of getting out of that mansion that I called home. Believe it or not, the thought of dying by your hands on a whim of your attitude is merciful in comparison with the living I had there. So, if you feel merciful today, swing that sword harder and actually cut my throat, don't just give me false hope".
Callisto was certainly taken aback by your words. He just wanted to scare you, his new so called fiancee, to run back home crying as he did not have the wish nor patience to play the game the empress had in mind. So, taking advantage of his infamous reputation, he put his sword at your throat, asking for a reason why he shouldn't just kill you on a whim. If you intended to peak his interest, you did.
" So you're telling me, that you're treating the next emperor as a way out of a bad family situation? Am I a joke to you?" He was amused, a smirk gracing his handsome face. Even though now he was sure you would not be a thorn in his side, at least for now, he wanted to make sure that you knew your place, and be afraid of him. He does have a reputation as a tyrant, after all.
" If I have to be sincere, Your Highness, then yes, I have used you... No, even better, I am using you as a way out of that place. The ducy is not particularly fond of their illegitimate daughter, you see. Even a prisoner of the Empire has a better life than I did. You may do whatever you want with this information and if your wish is to punish me with the death penalty, I'd gladly take it."
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Callisto was definitely fond of your first encounter after you entered the palace as his fiancee. While staying by your unconscious side day after day, he reminiscent more of those moments he kept very close to his heart. Your fiery attitude, your sharp mind and your quick witted responses to his provocation made him fall in love with you, without even realizing it. He, who had a duty to carry, a revenge to fight for, deemed that it was impossible to fall in love. He was sure his marriage will be a political one to straighten his power once he becomes emperor and still he found himself waiting for your encounters, waiting to see your smile and now hoping for you to wake up.
A king has to be flawless.
Everyone around him wanted to see his desperation now that his esteemed fiancee was on the verge of death. But he did not show any. Not around others, of course. But when he remains alone with you, holding your frail hand, kissing your pale temples, he pleads with the gods to have you back.
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"You should really stop hiding in the library"
Callisto found your secret hideout in the castle library, somewhere in the back, all cozy with some blankets and pillows. You intrigued him, you stood your ground in front of him, even in front of the empress. He discovered that you loved reading, so he granted you access to the imperial library. He found out a lot about his fiancee these past months.
" You should stop following me around, Your Highness. Don't you have something better to do, like fighting the nobles and beating the monsters?"
"What now? I'm not allowed to spend time with my own fiancee?"
"Careful now. If someone hears you might think that you actually have feelings for me"
Calisto scoffed, avoiding your gaze and immediately changing the subject, while sitting near you in your cozy space. A very illegal cozy space, the librarian throwing a fit over it, but he made sure that you'd be allowed to keep it. After all, he was keeping you in check so you wouldn't conspire with the empress, or that's the lie he keeps telling around.
" What are you reading today?"
" Honestly, something about the monster from the Empire and magic. "
" Oh no, did you get bored of the lovey dovey stories you read until now?"
You playfully smacked his arm, something you've done once in frustration and since you did not lose your head, you continued doing it. Callisto was rather amused by it, so he allowed it, after all it was one of the few physical interactions you two had.
" No, no I did not. I just need a break from all that, you know, get back on earth with my head. Don't wanna fool myself into believing that something called love exists."
Foolish girl, were the words that never left Calisto's lips that day. Instead, he felt so at peace that he fell asleep with his head on your shoulder. And you never spoke about it after his awakening, but it definitely became your little secret that kept happening every now and then.
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This was the third time Calisto felt fear when it came to you. The first time was when the monster attacked at the hunting competition. The second time was when your family came to visit. He remembered that when you heard the news that they came unannounced you paled, your complexion being almost the same shade that you had now while on the verge of death. It was more than six months into your engagement when they made their presence at the palace, if he remembers correctly.
"Do you remember that time when you were so scared of hearing the news that you gripped yourself to my side and did not want to let go?"
Calisto smiled to himself while pressing a gentle kiss on the back of your hand. How the tables have turned, now he's the one glued to your side, not wanting to let go.
"Do you remember the promise I made you that day? That I'll help you be free from your family with or without our engagement? This was not the freedom I was talking about..."
His voice cracked.
He remembered when he first saw the scars on your back. An accident, really, he was at the wrong place and wrong time... Or should it be the right place at the right time? He never could have guessed that you were carrying such a burdensome secret. Then it all made sense, why you weren't afraid to lose your head at his hand, the way you called him being merciful for taking away your life.
" I'm sorry, Your Highness... You should not have seen that. Unfortunately, my body is not the most pleasurable one to look at..." A sad smile. " I'm full of old scars. I'm sorry to disappoint you, but I'm not the beauty they promised you."
Your voice still rang in his head as he recalled his foolish action at the time.
" Don't cover up!" He made you turn your back to him. He hated that you were putting yourself down for something you did not have any control over. He also had scars from battle, would you find them ugly when you eventually would get to see them? He placed a kiss on your back then quietly whispered making you shiver.
" You're nothing less than perfect in my eyes and your scars only tell the story of how powerful you really are. Don't ever try to hide yourself from me"
Callisto was going crazy, having all these flashbacks of the moments he secretly cherished. He placed another kiss on your hand, then whispered in your ear.
" Please come back to me, and I promise to kiss every scar that there is on your body and I'll promise that something called love does actually exist"