#cannibal serenade

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That panic you feel when the fire alarm goes off in your building and you're literally on the toilet trying to poop.

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thekimchiburger replied to your post “School has started and I can’t study while I eat anymore because...”

Wah wah WAAAH you got started on this verse! WEH! SO CUTE AND SWEET. LET ME... //BREATHES IN// AH YES, super cute fluff fills my soul. //coos

I DID. Because I get bored just eating. So I figure I might just post whatever I manage to thumb-type up in 15 minutes when I eat and cannot study from my textbooks for fear of paying full price for the book and not rental by accidentally making it smell like food. Amazon has seriously stringent book rental rules. *sweats* I’M GLAD YOU CALL IT FLUFFY. <3 <3 <3 And not baby Fwee’s foray into not-porn. Which could be argued. 

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I might just listen to Japanese LPers from now on.  So cute. Q vQ He’s just so happy and light hearted. “Aaaaah, the rain’s terrible. Hurry, hurry, get inside! You’ll catch a cold in this.” --おついち Tube HIS REACTIONS ARE JUST SO CUTE HELP. HEEEELP MEEEEE.  This is the most enjoyment I’ve ever gotten out of a The Evil Within play through and I’m only six minutes in.

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Tokyo Ghoul Tag

Tagged by dearest oniisan, thekimchiburger.

OTP/BROTP/NOTP:

OTP: The one true TG Hufflepuff ship, BanjouHideAmon. Shhhhhh. And KaneHide too, I guess. ToukaYoriko is canon. My canon.

BROTP: KaneHide. I mean, I also ship them romantically but in the end, I just need them to have a close inseparable, relationship. Always. Queer platonic makes my heart go dokidoki. u vu

NOTP: Most ships with Hinami make me uncomfy, she is my daughter and the sweetest baby sister I want to curl around her and dragon snort at everyone that approaches my sweet summer child. 

And Urie ships. I guess. 

Your child: Uhm. Wow. There’s a list. A huge list, but top five are: 1) Hide, my sunflower child, 2) Banjou, my sweet, bara daisy son, 3) Hinami, my sweet butterfly daughter, 4) Nishiki, my asshole snake idiot, 5) the personification of tragedy, my irreplaceable darling

Your husband/wife: I’m pretty sure I don’t have one. If I had to marry anyone it’d be Banjou, though. His temperament is the one I can handle the best.

Favorite version of Kaneki Ken: ORIGINAL KANEKI KEN. I love watching innocents break. u vu <3

Your reaction to Pinto Tsukiyama in 3 words: What is Pinto? (I mean, I know the bean??)

After oniisan links me picture: ...NOPE. Nopenope.

Favorite fic: Man. *sweats* This is too difficult. Q vQ I can’t think of one, I am bad at anything “favorites,” JUST LOOK AT HOW LONG MY LIST OF CHILDREN IS.

Also made worse by the fact that the latest fics I’ve read were 50k+ Inception fics, all I have on my mind atm is how wonderfully sassy Arthur is.

Favorite chapter (of tg and/or :re): THE FIRST CHAPTER. “Surely, if I were to be the protagonist of a story, it would be a tragedy.” Or something similar. It was that line that lured me in. 

Most hated thing about Root A:Uhm. I didn’t enjoy it in general but the bit that really and truly grinds my gears was how it ended. It made no sense. Blood and wounds do not work like that. How did Kaneki not smell the blood. There is no way Hide could act that normally with such a fatal wound without painkillers. Just. I  have so many issues. 

Also why the fuck burn down Anteiku and then commit suicide by cop. He could have just set Anteiku on fire and stayed in it and if nothing else, died of smoke inhalation. Just.

I HAVE ISSUES.

Tagging.. *whispers* Anyone...?  I suspect everyone has done it. BUT PLEASE, FEEL FREE TO YOINK THIS AND CLAIM I TAGGED YOU, I WOULD APPRECIATE IT. HAHA.

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FREY. FREY. I found music for you.

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Kaneki's belly button is Tsukiyama's super villain origin story.

In which Kaneki and Hide are teen superheroes and Kaneki spends his entire time protecting Hide's honor. Or: In which Fwee reads the Young Avengers comics inherited from feverly​ and keeps thinking about how both Teddy and Hide are perfect boyfriends, the old ass guardian puns before Billy changed his codename from Asgardian to Wiccan, and gives zero fucks about accuracy or keeping Kaneki's dignity intact and thekimchiburger​, of course, colluding with. Pfft.

So, specifics:

Kaneki not only carries the Asgardian codename, but Billy's reality warping, electricity generating, flying, and levitating super powers as well. 

Hide has Teddy's heritage and therefore has the super strength, regeneration, and shapeshifting. Because why not.

who cares what everyone else has

Hide started superhero-ing as an off-shoot of his detective-ing because how can people not try to help.

Hide's superhero persona gets media attention and Kaneki IDs Hide by recognizing his butt

Kaneki starts crime fighting if only to keep everyone from staring at his boyfriend's ass.

everyone keeps staring at Hide's butt because Kaneki keeps thinking about it and what with his reality warping powers...

Dr. Doom losing five hundred Doombots to Kaneki's fury but gains ten seconds of Hide footage and considers it a win 

Kaneki confiscates all the Hide's butt paraphernalia from super villains

embarrassing shit happens to Kaneki, like: 'IwantallmystuffhiddenfromHide'ssightIwantallmystuffhiddenfromHide'ssight' and Kaneki's clothes disappearing and his entire room with its hidden Hide-butt things are gone, including the bed and Hide looks at him like: "Uhm, so... you had some movers?" "Crap."

RIP, Kaneki's dignity

Hide's an actor/model and that's how people are able to start tying Hide's civilian identity with his superhero identity

Tsukibutt is a terrible fashion designer on the verge of losing his job when he sees Hide lovingly bully Kaneks into a cute outfit on the set and Tsukiyama catches a glimps of Kaneki-belly button and a hunger develops. 

Tsukibutt spends his time ripping Kaneki's tops to expose his midriff 

Tsukibutt for the most embarrassing super villain

Nishiki for snarky asshole of a teammate who makes wonderfully accurate ass guardian puns and frequently lampshades how fucking ridiculous Kaneki's crusade to 'protect his boyfriend's chastity' is

Touka for channeling the flawless awesome that is Kate Bishop and being the most effective superhero of the bunch despite being super powerless

I regret nothing. And I'm sure Frey regrets nothing, too. Direct transcription of our chat under the cut because this is already too long. And I love our chats.

Fweeble: and all the ass-guarding jokes Fweeble: and Kaneki angrily blasting away villains he sees as staring at Hide's nice butt Fweeble: in his flattering Hulkling costume. u vu Frey: TO BE FAIR HE WOULD BE THE GREATEST OF ASS-GUARDERS Frey: Guarding the greatest of asses Frey: Kaneki please Fweeble: *LAUGHS* Fweeble: Is that MY boyfriend's ass you are staring at? Fweeble: IS IT. Fweeble: I would think NOT pissing off a reality warper with the latent ability to be the next Sorceror Supreme or whatever Fweeble: is villain rule #1. Fweeble: u vu Frey: Villains need to talk about that in the next Bad Guys Anonymous meeting. Don't even think about looking at Hulkling's butt. Write that in red. Fweeble: In large block letters. Fweeble: Underline it. Fweeble: Hi-lite it in bright, eyeblinding yellow so you don't miss it. Fweeble: If you value your essential functions for life, Fweeble: do.not.look.at.Hulkling's.ass. Frey: All of a sudden I'm thinking of Doctor Doom sending Doombots after Hide to stare at his ass. And when Kaneki blows them up he's like WORTH IT Fweeble: *LAUGHS* Fweeble: I GOT TEN SECONDS OF HIDE BUTT RECORDED. Fweeble: I LOST 5 MILLION DOLLARS IN DOOMBOTS BUT Fweeble: TEN SECONDS. Fweeble: GOLDEN. Frey: He can make up for it by selling that clip in the black market Frey: Butt Auctions for Legitimate Villains Fweeble: *LAUGHS* Fweeble: Now I imagine them huddled around a tv set Fweeble: for that golden ten seconds of Hide butt Fweeble: and Kaneki descending from the sky, lightning crackling Fweeble: You have sealed your doom, he says Fweeble: before everything explodes and Kaneks flies away with the flashdrive. Frey: Oh man, if someone raids Kaneki's room there'd be a goldmine of Hidebutt. Too bad that's not recommended unless you're the most hardcore of bad guys haha Fweeble: *laughs* Fweeble: Imagine Kaneks like Fweeble: OH MY GOD NO HIDE Fweeble: YOU CAN'T GO TO MY ROOM Fweeble: LET'S GO TO YOUR HOUSE Fweeble: WE CAN MAKE OUT THERE Fweeble: *thinks about all the Hide butt-merchandise he has hidden in his bedroom* Frey: KANEKI JUST USE YOUR POWERS TO MAKE IT ALL INVISIBLE Fweeble: *laughs* Fweeble: I WANT MY STUFF TO BE HIDDEN FROM HIDE'S SIGHT I WANT MY STUFF TO BE HIDDEN FROM HIDE'S SIGHT Fweeble: they go to Kanek's room and Hide's all Fweeble: so... Fweeble: you had some movers? Fweeble: *sees nothing* Fweeble: Kaneki: Crap. Frey: LOL I'm too influenced by Monkey Paw stuff so I just think of Kaneki's clothes being included as being "his stuff". Surprise Kaneki you are naked in front of Hide Fweeble: *LAUGHS* Fweeble: Hide is like. Fweeble: Kaneki... Fweeble: I don't know what you were planning  Fweeble: Kaneki: Nonononononono, it's a misunderstanding, it's a misunderstaaanding. Frey: THE MOST HILARIOUS OF MISUNDERSTANDINGS Fweeble: *LAUGHS* Fweeble: Sorry Kaneks Fweeble: Hide dies for you Fweeble: your dignity dies for Hide. Fweeble: That is the law in my brain. Frey: Here lies Kaneki's dignity. It's okay, it amuses these strange people in another universe UvU Fweeble: It does indeed. Frey: Aah, he gets to beat up bad guys to vent his frustrations so it all evens out :V