#cantholdontilmay

[cantholdontilmay]

I’m terrified of fucking this up. It’s almost 4 am. And I’m crying. For the first time in a long time. Last time last time I was in love I fucked up from being selfish. I was more about me than him. I should’ve chased him. But I think deep down I was tired of chasing him. Enough about that. I really dig this guy. And it’s getting to the point where he makes me fucking happy. He’s literally perfect to me. But fuck.

[cantholdontilmay]

Joined the trend yo lovely people tell me shit or such 👌🏼🤘🏻

[cantholdontilmay]

Every night you talked to me and you went home to her, oh the possible scenes running in my head

[cantholdontilmay]

I hope you're not too lonely to have a girl in yours arms, With my non existent presence, I promise I'll make it up to you, It'll be worth it I swear. There was a voice in a song, That told me not to fear, It's only empty space trying to cloud your brain. Take a breathe, It's time to let the hugs of demons fade, And rid my life of the negativity that swims inside. Satisfaction yearns to be earned, But the oceans keep building, And the demons are laughing at winning their home.

[cantholdontilmay]

I knew I just knew I was a second option. I knew. I knew I wasn’t good enough. I wasn’t enough.

[cantholdontilmay]

Today two years ago I would’ve thought my ass was dumb what I’m doing today. Becoming close with someone I ran away from. Now I’m going on a bus to get slaughtered drunk with him all weekend to become numb from the shit I’m going through and get a breath of air of home.

[cantholdontilmay]

Update: our lazy day together was perfect

Update #2: I haven’t felt this happy in a long time

Update #3: pretty sure he’s been eating a puddin cup with no spoon sense he was 6 (I’ll cry if you don’t get this)

Update 4: his parents like me

Update 5: his goofy ass is stupid cheesy and I think I over thought everything, he reassured I’m good enough and that I’m crazy 🖤

[cantholdontilmay]

I’m terrified. I’ve got a chance with someone whose way to good for me. And he adores me. And I’m absolutely terrified I’m not gunna be good enough for him. Cause fuck I fall hard. He literally doesn’t see how perfect he is. I’m so excited to get to know him more. But also so nervous. As he tattooed me I thought of so many things to say to him. But I froze. I turned red. I need to find things to start up a conversation with him in person. Fuck. On the phone we talk about our day. And sexting. But I’m person. Fuck I get lost in his cute ass freckles. Or his smile. Or his sarcastic remarks. Fuuuuck. Like he makes me so nervous. But talking to him and him talking me makes me so happy. He’s just so calming. The more I get to know him the more I just wanna crawl up and hear him tell me all the things about him. He’s so interesting. Ah. My thoughts are done for the night. xxx