Seriously...?
Pairings :- Captain Levi Ackerman x fem!Reader
Summary :- You broke up with the Well known , Respected and Feared Levi Ackerman only Four months into the relationship.
CW :- Angst (they break up..more like in a mature way. I wouldn't count it as Heartbreaking, gut wrenching angst) , Mentions of traumatic childhood and Emotional abuse , Mentions of brutal deaths of Comrades , Yeah that's it almost.
A/n :- I would like to mention this is the Levi we see When he just joined The Survey Corps. He's around 23 ig ? Idk. We don't care. He looks Pretty young , so ....
You were Determined to break up with Levi as you marched towards his dorm room. Levi Was Very Closed off when It came to your relationship. He never Showed that he cared. Or that he trusted you. Literally. Of course you acknowledged the fact that Some people Are not Openly affectionate and Touch- feely. But this is just too much. You thought he'd open up by now. At least an ounce. But no. He's just ....... Cold. You understood the fact that He lost two of the most important people in his life ; Isabel and Falcan. That was Almost 10 months ago. And You understood how he felt as well. You yourself Lost a few dear ones In the Corps to these creatures.
In fact , You saw him that day. The day It rained, the day The Red eyed abnormal titan almost caught you. But you somehow managed to Get on a tree and hide in between the branches. Then You were met with the Unfortunate sight of seeing your Comrades Die. It was brutal. The Abnormal Titan didn't spare anyone. You wouldn't be here if It weren't for that tree and Heavy rain. Your prayers of being saved were answered when Levi Appeared , No , Fell of his horse right beside the graveyard That Was made a minute ago.
You watched Him look at the dismembered bodies of his two dear companions and Launch at the Titan with inhuman Speed and strength straight After. His moves were graceful yet Destructive. The way he moved Was almost.... supernatural. He sliced the titan into roughly 50 pieces. You lost count. Focused on his moves. His moves strangely Hypnotised you. And scared you. But what really stood out to you was the way he screamed throughout it all . That was the most emotion you've ever heard in his voice since You first saw him. And I didn't mention it but ,You liked him since the day you saw him . Seeing this just made you fall harder and deeper. You felt a sense of inspiration and Motivation , weird enough of course. But You were captivated by his strength and agility. Nothing new. It didn't take long for him to notice you . both of you headed to The walls.
That was the day you fell in love . Up until then it was just a liking maybe. A sort of Convenience crush. You saw him , You liked him. But after that , Every Single thought Of yours was indirectly and shamelessly connected to him. You found his strangely Rude behaviour Endearing. You slowly fell for his sharp eyes and Sharp mouth. Sometimes the mean things he said to other people hurt you. In a good way. There was no way You could forget him.
You confessed one night. When the feelings grew in a way it made it too hard to ignore . Too hard to focus. He was sitting calmly and silently , bathing under the moonlight. You were perhaps enchanted by his beauty , because you just straight Up confessed. told him everything. You were a bit Impulsive Anyways . At first he gave you the most judgemental stare you've ever gotten. Eyes sharp , almost disgusted. But then something flickered through his eyes. Shyness? . You could swear he blushed. Just a bit. But you didn't say that out loud. You took a seat next to him when he stayed Silent after you practically Poured your heart out to him. He nodded. And You could've sworn your heart disconnected from it's whole body for a moment. That's how You guys Got into a relationship. Six months after his stunningly Dangerous Performance in the woods.
But now ? You feel pathetic. you should've kept your distance. You should've just been the secret admirer.maybe he's better in your imagination. Because Now You regret it all.
You stood in front of his dorm's closed door. Your heart beating. You took a deep breath. You Calmly Collected yourself. Telling yourself You'll be fine after this. Just okay. As you opened the door.
It's a beautiful orange pink unset outside the window Of the room. The clouds Making Pretty patterns as always. The sky has just a barely there hint of pink in it. The pink Illuminated On Levi's Face. His was Looking out the window. Sipping tea. As per usual. He Looked at the door when he heard it open. On seeing it's just you , he looked back out the window. You Stepped in , closing The door softly Behind you.
Something You like about yourself ? You were impulsive. And you said Whatever was on you mind.And it got you Where you are right now. So You're grateful for it.
Here goes nothing.
"Levi . "
He didn't even look at you. He took a sip of his tea. And hummed in response.
That pissed you off. For some reason he was always like this. Even after You've nagged at to him look at you when You speak. He's always like this.
"I wanna Break up with you."
His movements stilled for a split second. He finally turned to look at you. His were sharp as always.
"and why's that? "
"I feel like we're not meant for each other. " With that you looked down. Unable to meet his Scrutinising Eyes. It felt like He was seeing through your soul. But then you remembered, Who the fuck is he anyways.
You looked him in the eyes and spoke about it. More.
"I feel like I'm the only one Who puts effort into this relationship. I understand it's hard for you to open up to Someone. But this Is too much. I've always Been open about everything. I've talked about everything and anything. But You're just... There. Never telling me anything about Your past or future , Never Trying to let me know That you ....well....at least are interested in me. You're always annoyed when you interact with me. And it's not what I want. I want someone who trusts me . I want someone Who Talks to me. When They can. Not even like gentle talk. Just talk to me. But you won't even Do that. You're always busy. I understand that. But if you wanted to , I know you could. "
With that you Looked Straight into his eyes. You made sure your eyes were sharper than his. Confident and Almost Belittling.
But Levi's the master at that game.
"I'm not open enough?" The tone was Amused. He's resting His Head on his hand and Tilting his head staring straight at you. Raking his eyes up and down your body.
"yeah."
"or Is it just I don't Overshare and Talk nonstop about Pointless things?"
Seriously...? , Well That hurt. Because All you talked about to him was usually about Your Past.only after A two months into the relationship. Sure you made small Talk most of the time. But isn't that how you start?. How can you just step into deep stuff already?. You kept it light and Funny most of the times. But the trauma and Problematic parenting Always was the main thing whenever you talked about it. You never Opened About The stuff Your parents made you go through. It wasn't necessarily always Physical abuse. It was brutal emotional abuse. They made you feel useless. Like your words didn't get a Say. Like your voice was Never To be heard by anyone. And that's exactly how you feel right now.
"all I've ever talked about is My past. And Why would You say That it's.....what? " Your Eyes met his. Your face was etched With a scowl. Almost disbelief. How could he say so. He just scoffed. Looked away and then at you
"I said What I said. You talk too much Anyways."
All right. So this is how it's gonna go.
"I'm sorry , What?. I opened About the darkest times of my life and You're just saying that it's Pointless? "
"yeah. I've had it worse. At least you had parents. And hearing you talk about 'how my parents Didn't value me' when I practically had to kill and Almost die to eat bread at least once a day is annoying" he got up with that. Standing a feet away from you .
"you have your point and trauma . But that doesn't make me feel any better or Worse about my experiences. I never claimed they were worse than yours. I know how bad you had it. And I respect your strength , courage and resilience. But That doesn't change the fact that I didn't have the best parents."
"yeah yeah. " And this mf had the audacity to roll his eyes at your words. Sitting on the chair near the nightstand as he Looked at your standing figure.
"You know what , Never mind. Let's just end things. You're actually making me feel What I felt when I was back with my parents . And I never go back to a situation I prayed to get out of. You don't value my opinions , experiences or emotions. And I want someone far different from that. "
To say he was impressed by your Mature way of making your point would be an understatement.
"so be it. "
"yeah. " And with that You left the room. You didn't feel sad. You were more pissed off than sad. Of course you Really liked him. And wanted to spend your life with him. But this was just too much.
If he's like this with that one part of your Past, How would he react to your revelation of being from outside the walls? . Not like you'd say that to him as long as they don't find out. But What are the possibilities They won't?. After all , just One person , somewhere ,could change it all. Just with a decision .
Next stop? Your best friend and roommate Hange.they Had the best reactions To everything you said. Part of why you Absolutely admire them besides the intelligence .
You opened the door with no warning. Hange was Reading some Old book. On hearing the door open without a warning they understood it's you. Continuing to read their book in silence
"I broke up with Levi. "
They whipped their head around to look at you almost dumbfounded , their jaw on the floor .
"why?"
"I might be impulsive. But He's not Being considerate Enough. I get that People Have different ways to show that they love someone. But this Man Doesn't even do anything. " You sat next to them on the bed As they sat up still a bit impressed.
"and why's that? "
"He's never...opening up. I'm not saying he should talk about His past And stuff. People take time to do that . But he could talk about anything. Or At least Hang out with me. Like Even When we're on top of the walls and alone. Alone , Hange Fucking Zöe. But he just blatantly ignores me and I don't know. It's like he never cares. " You shrugged.
"guys with avoidant type of Whatever love language Are there. I know. But this is kinda Weird. He's always annoyed when I'm around. Like all the fucking time. Idek What's up with that. And Let's just not talk about how he ignores whatever I'm saying. Plus he Said that I'm lucky to have at least had parents that were there. When I clearly stated they weren't and were using me"
Hange gave you the most dramatic gasp.
"I don't know about the first part , but the last part is unacceptable."
They placed their book on the nightstand with that .
You didn't know why , but your emotions Started to build up. You were angrier than ever. And You couldn't do anything about it. So your eyes automatically filled with tears.
Hange noticed that. And Immediately grabbed a Handkerchief to wipe your tears.
"maybe we should Go out to the walls. Whatcha say? "
"yeah. I need that. "
Idek what to do for part two. Haha.
Byeee <33
(give me some writing tips cus wth is my writing.... )