Captain Charming drunken shenanigans for Emma. I told her that this would be done by the time she got back from New Orleans and it wasn't because I'm the worst, but I hope you enjoy it anyway.
Featuring Emma and Snow.
It starts as it always does with them—what Emma and Snow like to call ‘male posturing’. Killian had made some snide comment about David’s inability to hold his liquor, and David had responded with the theory that Killian’s tolerance must have gone down since joining them all in Storybrooke and not drinking as much.
They take mutual responsibility for the idea to challenge each other.
It is somewhere after the eighth shot that Killian realizes they have severely overestimated themselves. He can’t stop smiling around at the microwave and the toaster oven and the blender, and David’s words are slurring more often than not. What really tips him off however, is the topics of conversation that they are willing to indulge in.
“… in a threesome?”
“What?” asks Killian, focusing on David with much effort. David grins and repeats his question.
“In all of those pirate escapades, were you ever with another guy in a threesome?”
Killian laughs. “I had my experimental phases, Dave. Didn’t much have it in me to deny a woman when she asked. What about you?”
Charming shakes his head vehemently, and then stops, going a bit green at the motion. “Absolutely not.”
“No secrets trysts out in the woods, shepherd?”
“What do you think?"
“I think you had a secret friend that you enjoyed taking a roll in the hay with, and I think you enjoyed letting him take control.” Killian winks as best as he can with the room swaying slightly around him.
Charming looks offended, and Killian has to smile because of course he would be so touchy when it comes to something like that. He’s prepared to tease him even further when Charming pipes back up.
“If I did have a secret friend that I liked to ‘roll around in the hay with’, I would definitely be the one on top.”
That stops Killian in his tracks. His brain struggles to catch up to David’s mouth, and when it does he’s pretty sure his eyebrows fly right off his forehead. “Spent some time thinking about this, eh, Dave?”
Charming snorts. “Come on pirate, you know it’s true.”
“Do I?”
“And what about you? Let the men you had a threesome with have their way with you?”
Killian is affronted. “Of course not, I was always on top.”
“That’s sweet, David. But we both know it would be me.”
“I seem to recall that every physical altercation we get in ends up with you sprawled out on the floor.”
Killian’s hand goes to the phantom pain in his jaw, the favorite place for David’s fist to land. “You’d be too preoccupied being stunned by my talents, mate.”
“Yeah right, like you have any talents, Killian."
“Your daughter would beg to differ.”
“About what?” says a voice. Both men look up from where they are sitting at the table to where Emma and Snow just entered the apartment carrying shopping bags. Emma drops hers by the door and glances between them, then down to the nearly empty bottle of rum. Understanding crosses her face, and then a ripple of apprehension.
Killian grins. “I was just telling your father that you’d be happy to grace him with stories of my prowess in bed.”
Emma stalks over and smacks him over the head, then crosses her arms and glowers at her father. “Why the hell are you talking about this.”
David sits up straighter, eyes wide. “You can help us with this. Snow! Snow, come back in here, we need you to help us settle something.”
Snow emerges from the next room over, expression just as wary as Emma’s.
“Who do you think would be on top, if Killian and I ever hooked up?”
Killian can feel Emma physically recoil next to him, and Snow’s face drains of color. They exchange glances, and then look back at the drunken men. “What the actual fuck are you guys talking about.”
“No, darling,” Killian reaches for Emma’s hand. “It’s quite alright. I simply need you to inform the prince of how I would be the dominant one in that relationship.”
“Snow, you know that isn’t true,” Charming smiles at her sweetly. “Tell him.”
Snow shakes her head. “I don’t even know how to begin to approach this because the image of the two of you is now seared into my brain. Don’t make me think about this any more.”
“Emma…”
Emma sighs. “You always want me to top, Killian, so I’m just going to leave that there and go get a drink so I can handle this conversation.”
“Emma, you bloody traitor!”
Charming cackles, throwing back another shot. Killian bares his teeth at him in a growl. “You may have won the battle, Charming, but you haven’t won the war."
captainsfire replied to your post: not only the neverland scenes are a pi...
what i hate the most is that all those scenes are gold (especially captain swan wise) and they’re impossible to color..
THIS IS SO DEPRESSING! Im so glad CS is going to be in NY and then in SB bc their scenes in Neverland are awful to gif and its so so SO depressing lol I dont understand how people can do colorful gifsets with those stupid scenes AND TUMBLR WHERE THERE IS STILL SOME STUPID LIMITS /im calm im breathing thank you!!/
