AMBIVALENCE.
— christian pulisic.
pairing: christian pulisic x fem! reader
summary: an unexpected pregnancy turns her overly anxious, but luckily christian is there to cease some of her turbulence.
warning: slight angst; neurotic reader, soft!christian and teeth rotting fluff at the end.
word count: 908 | ( gif not mine! )
masterlist!
… “BUT, WHAT IF IT’S POSITIVE?” [Y/N] stressed with furrowed eyebrows, her lips trembling as she felt tears welling inside her eyes. She looked at her boyfriend of five years, her wide doe eyes tinted with dread. The pair have talked about wanting kids and settling down, but at this point in her life she wasn't ready—or that’s what she thought, according to Christian.
Her heart palpitated, feeling her chest squeezing her lungs making it hard for her to breathe for a second. Blood rushed through her ears and she closed her eyes, her trembling hands hiding her flushed face.
She felt his warm calloused hands on her arms, gently rubbing her delicate skin before pulling her hands away from her face. Christian’s eyes softened, his hand drifting at the side of her neck as his thumb brushed her jaw. “Then we’ll deal with it, baby. Hey, positive or not, I’m not leaving you,” he reassured, caressing her cheek and removing a few hair strands away from her face.
[Y/N] clenched her jaw and she let out a breath she didn’t know she was holding. Her heart was still beating furiously inside her chest and she wondered if her heart would combust at any second. His words seemed to cease some of her turmoil, but the pit of her stomach prickled and nagged her insides which made her let out a shaky sigh.
She nodded—mostly to herself. She rested a hand on Christian’s bicep before turning her head to the counter, watching the stick with anticipation. Two minutes, she repeated, like a mantra inside her head.
[Y/N] rested her head on his chest as his hands rubbed her back comfortably while they waited. Hearing his heartbeat fastening made her stomach contract into a tight ball. A pulse stabbed her throat, making her swallow painfully as her eyes were glued to her phone, watching the countdown.
After what seemed like an eternity, [Y/N] heard her phone chime and she slightly jumped at the loud noise. Christian went to turn off her phone and turned his body towards her, a curve of a smile resting on his handsome features. “You ready?” he asked, his voice gentle.
Her breath grew thin and she chewed on her bottom lip, a habit borne out of relentless worrying that pierced at her from the insides. She gave him a small smile, her expression turning into a frown. “Yeah, I think so.” she croaked out, mentally cursing herself at her sudden state. Guilt gnawed at her skin and she looked at her boyfriend—who seemed to handle it pretty well than her.
Christian held her hand, and the pair slowly walked towards the pregnancy test that was placed on the marble counter of their sink. The buzzing inside her head filled every crack of her brain, searing through every bone. A searing pain engulfed through her skull, making her grimace. “I’m here, baby.” she could hear him softly repeating the words inside her ears.
[Y/N]’s eyes slowly trailed down at the stick, a wave of anxiety battling against her chest. It was as if the walls converged, swallowing her whole. She let out a strangled sob, her glistening eyes staring at the two marks. “Oh, my god.” She managed to let out, words stumbling out of her lips.
“It’s…positive.” Christian breathed, his lips curving unknowningly as he held the stick with his hands. His stomach swarmed with butterflies, feeling his heart stuttering against his chest. He turned to look at his girlfriend, his eyes softening at her state.
“Oh, I’m so scared, Chris.” her voice quivered, lips trembling like a child before she let her body take over. She exposed her vulnerability from beneath and cried into his chest, not wanting to look at the pregnancy stick.
“Oh, sweetheart.” Christian cooed with a fond expression, his furrowed eyebrows creating lines on his forehead as he took her into his arms. A tug at his heartstrings made him release a breath he didn’t know he was holding. His rough hands tucked away some hair away from her face, rubbing her warm skin with a teary smile.
“Deep breaths, sweetheart. Can you do that for me?” Christian asked in a calming tone, his voice engulfing inside her eardrums.
[Y/N] watched him through her glossy eyes, her tears blurring her vision, but she managed to see him taking a deep breath for her to follow. She felt his hands massaging the sides of her neck whilst trying to let out a breath.
I can do this. I got this. Thoughts consumed her, glued to her brain as she took slow deep breaths. The stuttering against her heart ceased, along with the dark cloud that prickled and gnawed at her chest. She loudly exhaled, feeling her knot at her shoulders loosen in the process.
“You’re doing so great, baby. I’m so proud of you.” Christian gushed, a dimpled smile etched into his handsome features. He planted a chaste kiss on her damp forehead.
[Y/N] rested a hand on his bicep, sinking into his loving affectionate touch. She nodded, sniffling before opening her eyes. Her doe-eyes were met with his soft ones, gazing at her fondly.
She knew at that moment, with determination and love in his eyes, they were going to be okay. Her mouth formed into a genuine smile, her face glistening from the lights above. “It’s gonna be okay.”
