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I’ve been very slow with this because life is crazy, but I am still on my bullshit with this one! 2026 is going to be the year that I publish this mother fucker after almost a decade of burning myself to the ground over and over again. Call it a labor of love. Call it a mental illness. Call it whatever you like. But #CaptivateMe is on its way!
“It is the weirdest of things that remind you of how much you’ve lost.
The unanswered texts where silence was once a rarity.
The absence of knowledge where once stood over sharing and trauma dumping.
How you find yourself looking at pictures of a stranger where your best friend once stood.
But it’s these same moments that remind you of how far you’ve come.
The almost forgotten inbox where her silence once left you questioning your worth.
The way that she hardly ever crosses your mind anymore without someone else’s intervention.
How you see now how fragile and conditional her love for you actually was.
Most importantly, you see how fair weather the support became when you needed her the most.
And it was in that moment that the switch flipped and you realized that it was never about you.
You were never made to have to captivate her.
One strength, one heart would never be enough.
But you were always enough.”
For some time now you’ve wondered what it would take to get an answer. A reply. Literally anything. But that’s not how these kinds of things work. And you’ve learned enough and lost enough to know that silence is the ultimate rejection. It will take a while to heal from this, but you’ve seen this film before… and while you didn’t like the ending that doesn’t mean that you can change it. You can either wait until the end credits or you can move on. And while your legs feel like lead when you life them, it’s time to make your exist. Stage left.
‘I’m done fighting for the love of people who don’t care enough to hear me out… but that doesn’t mean I don’t still think about you’ you scribbled onto the book in front of you, the nearly blank page absorbing the ink as if it was starving for more.
In the end, we’re all just starving for more….
More love…
More compassion…
More chances to explain what really happened…
But the hunger remains. And when the pages close, you know it will just be you standing there, feeding yourself.
But what a lonely way to live this has become…
This chapter of #CaptivateMe is gonna break me!
Essie Gel Couture Fall 2017 #groupphoto 10 of 18 #essielove #essiepolish #essieswatches Top row across: #behindtheseams #unbiasedcut #slipdress #perfectlyposed #firstimpression Bottom Row: #captivateme #girlaboutgown #glimpseofglamour #runofshow #alldressesdup
