“Actually, freaks like you shouldn’t even live on this planet. You’re a disgrace and shame to society, and we should have ended with you much sooner so you wouldn’t have a chance to intrude someone’s house.”
“I didn’t!”
“Keep telling me this, Caspar. Everything is pointing against you.”
“If you do something to me, the police will drag your ass.”
“Pfffft, you’re funny. We can report you as an intruder and claim self-defense. So you’re in big trouble either way.”
“Then report me!”
“First we’re gonna make sure you learn your lesson and will act quiet as a mouse ever since.”
“Do you know it’s forbidden to step on other people’s territory? This is Carson’s house if you’ve been living under the rock.”
“I was just walking home.”
“Walking home? How do we know? I heard your grandmother kicked the bucket recently and you live alone in misery. Putting two and two together, you were meaning to intrude Carson’s territory to steal something.”
Since then my life became pretty much unbearable, with a slight exception of History classes where Milo was my support, always holding my hand under the desk, and the everyday meetings with him after school. I felt the looks of Charity, Latona, Tomas and Carson on me, heard their offensive words and rude laughs wherever I went, even if they weren’t around. This made me wonder if I did the right thing, but I knew if I continued to be their side friend and pretend to be someone I’m not, everything would be much worse for me.
Sophie pulled the pods from her ears and swiped at the sweat dripping down her cheeks. Her muscles burned from the workout, something she would likely regret in the morning, since she’d been rather lax in keeping up with her training while she was away. The chain holding the heavy bag still creaked with the remnant swaying and she almost mistook the faint rapping sound for the chain rattling. Until she heard it again. Draping the towel around her shoulders she went up the basement stairs, through the kitchen to the front door. She could see the mess of blonde hair and the familiar, dopey grin in one of the small windows inset in the front door: Carson Scott.
She’d been frustrated (no, she’d been angry) with the Scotts for not having Charlie declared legally dead. Maybe it had been selfish on Sophie’s part, but she felt stuck in her life without some kind of closure. If she wasn’t dead, and couldn’t be found to sign the divorce papers, Sophie was stuck in limbo, unable to move forward. But that frustration never quite made its way to her brother-in-law. Even when it bubbled over a little, it only ever rolled off his jovial back. There was no way she could be mad at the man that helped train her, get her into a routine that made her stronger, that focused the negative energy she carried outward instead of inward.
She rolled her eyes and shook her head at the face he made but couldn’t help her own laugh as she opened the door for him. After the shock of seeing Charlie the night before, Carson’s ridiculous mug was a surprising comfort. “You know, when you do that you look like a giant, blonde Forrest Gump,” she teased as he leaned down for a one-armed hug. She used both, squeezing his neck and popping a kiss on his cheek.
“Crap, I guess I shoulda brought chocolates instead of your mail,” he answered. In his other arm was a small box which he handed over when they separated. “Most of it’s addressed to your ma, but there’s a few things in there for you. I tossed the ads and shit.”
“You’re a lifesaver, Car,” she said as she took the box and led them to the small dining table. She set it down and started rummaging through the envelopes, trying to ignore the small pang seeing her mother’s name on many of the pieces.
Carson followed her in, looking around the small living room and even smaller dining room. The changes were minor, little things here and there that Sophie had done after her mother died. “Still working out I see,” he noted, poking a finger into her bicep. There was little resistance there, even after a few months off.
“Not still. Again,” she answered, folding the flaps of the box over each other and pushing it away. She toed a chair out for him and pulled a separate one for herself. She went to the fridge and pulled out a pair of water bottles, set one in front of him and took her seat, swigging nearly half the bottle in large gulps. “I didn’t do much while I was away. A little climbing, plenty of walking and hiking, but no forms, no bags to work with. It was a nice break, but I gotta get back into it.” Especially since her stress level had spiked again knowing Charlie had returned, she didn’t add.
Carson murmured his thanks and nodded his understanding as he sipped. “I can get you back in the ring at the gym when you’re ready,” he offered. “Been a while since I had the air knocked out of me.” The last was said with a friendly smirk, recalling a sparring session that had gotten a little aggressive on Sophie’s part. With over a foot height difference between them, she wasn’t able to land more than glancing blows to his head. But she had managed to take advantage of a weak spot in his defense one day and land a crushing blow to his solar plexus that staggered the larger man. All had been forgiven, but neither had forgotten.
“Yeah, give me a couple weeks or so to get my wind back and I’ll take you up on it. I promise, no takedowns this time.” Sophie sipped as silence stretched between them. They’d managed to keep their own relationship (mostly) separate from all the pain and bullshit of she and Charlie. After all, Charlie had hurt him and her family as much as she’d hurt Sophie. They’d all been abandoned, they’d all lost her. “I uh, saw Charlie at Moonie’s last night,” she said, breaking the silence with a wavering voice.
Carson winced and ran a hand down his face as he sat back in his seat, the artificial limb stretched in front of him. “Yeah, I ah, I’d hoped to catch you and tell you before...I’m sorry Soph.” His shoulders twitched in a minute shrug. “All the stuff with dad, I didn’t see you were back until today.” He paused, bright blue eyes searching her face. “You okay?”
Sophie gave her own one-shouldered shrug. “I will be. It was just a shock, you know? Like seeing a ghost.” She blinked quickly and cocked her head at him, eyes narrowing. “Wait, what stuff with your dad?”
“Cancer,” Carson answered simply, exhaling a long breath. Sophie could see the pain in his furrowed brow, the way his eyes fell to the bottle in front of him. “Chemo, radiation, the whole nine. Not sure what’s fucking him up more, the disease or the treatment.” He spun the bottle in nervous twitches of his fingers at its base. “About the time it got diagnosed, a month or so ago, I happened to see Charlie pop up on insta and talked her into coming home.”
Sophie scratched at her temple, her own brows knitting at the complicated crux of emotions swirling inside her. “Fuck, Carson, I’m so sorry. Do you guys need...is there anything I can help with?” When her own mother was deteriorating, it was Carson who offered to keep an eye on her now and again so Sophie could get a break. The wound was still rather fresh but she’d do what she could to help.
“I think we’ve got it covered, for now,” Carson answered. “I’ll let you know though. Charlie’s actually been good with him, with all of this, since she’s been back. I half expected her to blow in, say her goodbyes and take off again.” The last was said with a rueful chuckle.
At this point it wouldn’t surprise Sophie if Charlie took off again since seeing her. It was one thing to come back for the family with Sophie out of the picture; it was another entirely to deal with both at once, and she had no idea if Charlie could handle it. She had no idea about anything where Charlie was concerned anymore. “I’m glad she came back, for your sake, and your pop’s. You should know, I uh, kinda gave her papers last night. For a divorce. So that’s a thing. In case she, I dunno, needs to talk or something. Hell, at this point she probably doesn’t, she’ll just sign them and be done.”
A look crossed Carson’s face, a mix of disappointment and resignation. He’d been their biggest champion every step of the way, the one rooting for them against all possible odds. He was the one that had kept the smallest spark of hope alive for Sophie for far longer than he probably should have. Even after she’d given up, years later, he never did. “You sure that’s what you want?” he asked softly. She flashed him a look full of hurt and anger and he immediately lifted his hands up defensively, palms out. “I know, okay? I get it, she fucked up royally. She’s the queen of fuck ups. She left all of us, Soph. But she also came back.”
“Yeah, she left all of us. But she came back for you, and your dad. Not for me, not for us.” She couldn’t keep the bitterness from her tone. She didn’t want to put Carson in the middle of this. He didn’t deserve that. She took a couple of deep breaths, reminding herself that he wasn’t his sister, he wasn’t the source of her pain. “You’re family, Carson. You will always have that connection with her. You hung on to hope because of blood. I...couldn’t do that. I had to move on with my life. I’ve carried those papers for nearly five years, feeling like they were my last tether to her, and they kept getting heavier and heavier, like a yoke around my neck that I couldn’t shake. They were a weight in my pack and my life that isn’t there anymore.” She wasn’t completely sure that was true; it had been less than twenty-four hours and somehow she didn’t feel the lifting of that weight the way she’d expected. “Whatever we had before, it’s long gone. We’re acquaintances that have ancient history together, nothing more. After ten years, there’s not even pieces left to pick up. That’s not a marriage. Not even close.” She took a moment as her own words settled on her. “She’s your sister, and you love her. I appreciate that you care, I really do. And I promise I’ll do my best to keep you out of anything and everything between me and Charlie. I don’t want you stuck in the middle, or put in a position to pick sides. And I’m kinda short on friends these days, so I’d rather not lose one of my favorites,” she added, trying to lighten the mood a touch.
Carson could only nod at her explanation. Or excuses. He wasn’t sure which it was. Either way she was right, he couldn’t put himself in the middle of the two of them, not if he wanted to keep them both, which selfishly he did. He finished his water and crumpled the bottle in his large paw. “Had to ask,” he said with a charming smile. He knew how much time had passed, and what had gone on with Sophie in the intervening years. He also knew he’d never seen two people more perfectly matched in his life, despite the craters that had been dumped between them (admittedly, the craters were mostly of his sister’s making). He pushed himself to his feet and tossed the bottle toward the recycling bin from his spot. It banked off the wall and went in.
Sophie shook her head and chuckled, relieved that the tension that was rising had waned. “Yeah, yeah. Don’t worry about us. We’ll figure out whatever the hell we’re supposed to figure out. You take care of your folks, yeah?” she reminded him as she followed him to the door. “And if you need anything, even just a break, you’re always welcome. Come over, watch a movie or some shit for a couple hours, get your mind off shit. I owe you a few of those.”
“I’ll keep that in mind,” he replied. He bent down and kissed the top of her forehead as he gave her shoulders a squeeze. “Still dropping your elbow?” he asked, brow rising.
She rolled her eyes at him. “No...maybe...” She totally was. “Get out of here. Thanks for the mail. I owe you one.”
“I’ll think of something good to call in that favor,” he grinned. With a wave he loped down the steps. She watched as he crossed the street, unable to help her eyes from wandering to the windows up and to the right of the front door. She thought she saw a shadow there but couldn’t be sure if it was really there or a trick of the light.
