Because I'm on a kick from Sun/Moon, Red/Green, awkward family meal or character a gets poisoned, your pick!
I just decided to ten-minute-prompt-ish, comment-box write this. It’s beenlong enough. Maybe you’re still around, anon~ I’ll probably do a bit of editing and throw this and the rest of theseflash prompts up on ffnet and ao3 later anyhow. Why not? But for now enjoy thismessy thing:
Nothing makes a family meal awkward like food poisoning after all.
(Oh, yeah, this is also Language Pathology Red. That’s why his grammar is all messed up.) (oh, also some ppl eating Gyarados. sorry.) (also not 100% set in how to balance Leaf’s personality.)
The sad thing was that none of them could cook. Not really.
Daisy had done her best during those strange years in Pallet Town, thatGreen was happy to say he barely remembered. She had made things like eggs, andpasta with canned sauce, and vegetables heated from frozen packets. The kind ofthing that was never quite good, but you couldn’t screw up and make itbad either.
Well, in Pallet Town you could always count on Delia’s lunchboxes and dinnerpacks so, even if Daisy royally screwed up, there were things to fall back on.
Once outside of Pallet Town, Green, himself, had gotten very good at the artof making sandwiches. It became a kind of strange ritual, stopping outside thegroceries in the various cities and town scattered around Kanto, and piecingtogether bits of lettuce and ham and cheese on top of the plastic wrapper forthe loaf of bread. If he made sandwiches out of the whole loaf, it could last acouple of days on the road until he made it to the next town. And on the roaditself, he was usually lucky enough to find apples and berries which he wouldmelt on the fire into a sweet syrup.
Red was likewise good at turning cans of preserves and gathered herbs androot vegetables into stews. And packing cornmeal and rice to turn into pots ofgruel.
If none of them could really boast true culinary talent, though, at the veryleast all of them had practical skills borne of the necessity that was raising childrenor Pokémon or having spent time on the road.
All of them except Leaf. Who had bafflingly enough done all of these thingsand still come out of these experiences without learning a goddamn thing.
Green felt a bit, well, green,stirring the stew. The seaweed flakes spun in the pale liquid. The chunks ofGyarados filet smelled a bit too strong.
“Eat!” Leaf commanded. She had her arms crossed over her chest.
Her Ditto was resting on her shoulder. In the form of a Spearow. It cawed,offended on her behalf.
Remember that one time at the park,where the lady was feeding the Pidgey and Spearow? And you took her bag ofbirdseed and threw it at me and set the whole flock on me? Because you knew I wasterrified of bird-types? Yeah~ I’m over it now~
Leaf had smiled maliciously at him. She was not over it.
There’s something nice about how frankshe is though. Daisy had blushed so very slightly. It was the only hintthat this was an emotional subject. It’snever a slow boil. She wears her pettiness and grudges on her sleeve. It’s kindof cute.
The only thing that kept Green from disagreeing with Daisy was that Gramps also was not fond of Little Miss Squirtle Thief. And Greenwas loathe to agree with Gramps on anything he could afford to not agree withhim on.
“It’s terribly rude for the two of you come visit someone, and then not eat any of the food they serve you,” Leafhad frowned expectantly.
The comment was theoretically directed at both of them, but Leaf’s eyes werelocked on and narrowed at Green. Red didn’t look up from where he was munchingon a couple of sweet potato fries with Pikachu and Eevee and Persian crowdinghis lap. He was moving swiftly through the fries, with their help, towards hismain dish – a take-out bowl with eggplant and tofu over rice.
“It’s not my fault you forgot to provide a vegetarian option for Red!” Greenprotested.
“Maybe,” Leaf allowed. “But it certainly isyour fault if you can’t bring yourself to eat your sister-in-law’s cooking ingood will.”
“Didn’t realise you had married Daisy in the meantime,” Green snarked.
“Didn’t realise you were as much of an asshole as ever,” Leaf snarled. “Oh,wait, no- I’ve been saying that the whole time~”
Eevee hopped down from Red’s lap and jumped over to Green. She climbed up ontothe table and sniffed at Leaf’s seafood stew, before turning away from it,leaving it untouched.
“I bet it’s poisoned,” Green said.
“Don’t be ridiculous,” Leaf scoffed. “I’m not going to poison Daisy ormyself.” She sat down at her seat across from Red and dropped a spoon into the stew.She slurped up a couple of greedy spoonfuls like it was nothing.
Green couldn’t help but notice that his own name wasn’t included in thatlist.
It was at precisely this moment Daisy re-entered the dining room.
“It seems like Junko is doing okay. Rina’s mom just sat her down to watch anafter-dinner movie.”
Leaf seemed to transform in front of his sister.
“Of course Junko’s doing okay,” she soothed, rubbing at Daisy’s arm. “Try torelax.”
Daisy smiled. And Green felt magnanimous for a moment. Whatever made Daisy andhis niece happy.
But then Daisy turned and smelled the bowl of soup Leaf put out for her andlooked a little nauseous.
“Um…” she stood up. “I think I’ll just call Rina’s place again and make sureJunko took her after-dinner vitamins.” She fled the room.
Leaf looked a little betrayed.
Green sighed. He was about to call off this whole dinner entirely, when Redreached over and grabbed his hand out of his lap.
“Leaf’s nice,” he said, quietly, squeezing Green’s hand tightly. “Don’-worry. She would came around.”
Red’s eyes were soft and confident, and Green inhaled and remembered hecould bear this. Dealing with Leaf and her cooking was worth having trips toCeladon with Red and his sister.
He reached forward and took a dinner roll from the basket on the table. Hetore it and dipped it in Leaf’s stew, hoping soggy bread would make it more palatable.
Only Red and Junko were safe the next day, saved by vegetarian take-out and sleepoverswith friends respectively, when a deep wave of foodpoisoning swept over the household.
In the guestroom, Red dabbed a damp washcloth over Green’s fevered forehead. He would probably do the same for Leaf and Daisy shortly.
Junko walked in, leaning heavily against the side of Red’s Persian, whomagnanimously allowed this.
“Uncle Red, will Mama and Leaf be okay?” Junko asked worriedly.
“Can only hope Leaf won’t be okay… That she won’t live to cook another day…”Green complained under his breath.
Green wanted to say more, explain to his niece just how substandard Leafwas, but nausea overcame him and he had to rush to the bathroom before he couldsay any more.
