Based on: Imagine Cas overhears you singing about loving him but thinking you're not good enough for him.
Fandom: Supernatural
Character: Cas
Triggers: low self-esteem? Nothing extreme
Notes: I didn’t know whether you were asking for an imagine or a oneshot, so I did both because I really liked your idea! I chose Adele’s Hiding My Heart because I felt it suited, but you can substitute other lyrics if you want. I hope you like it!
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When Cas arrived at the bunker, it appeared to be empty. He stood perfectly still for a few minutes waiting to see if anyone turned up. With a sigh, he quickly checked the kitchen, library and archives then finally the garage where he noticed the Impala was gone. Deciding to try again later, he was about to leave when he heard faint music coming from somewhere in the bunker. He followed the sound and found himself outside your bedroom door.
At that moment you had just given up on reading your book and gotten to your feet. The Winchesters were out shopping and had left you to take a well-deserved break. To try and relax, you had spent most of the afternoon lying in bed and reading.
Unfortunately, the book only made you more frustrated. The main character had spent the last few pages wallowing about their unrequited love and it was hitting a little too close to home for you. The last thing you wanted to think about was your own feelings for one particularly perfect angel, but honestly, Cas was never too far from your thoughts.
With a sigh you crossed your room and turned up your music. You were happily humming along to some harmless dance music when your ipod decided to torment you with Adele’s Hiding My Heart. You rolled your eyes; it seemed there was no way to avoid thinking about Cas today so you gave in.
It had taken less than a month for you to realize that you had fallen for Cas. The moment the Winchesters brought you to the bunker and introduced you to him, all hope was lost. You had never met someone as kind, brave and honourable as him. You knew he had made mistakes, but he was just trying to do the right thing. Even now, he was still desperate to help because he felt responsible.
A sad smile crossed your face as your heart sank. It was in moments like these that you sometimes wished you had never met him, because every time you thought about him, your chest twisted painfully with longing. Being around him was the hardest; to be so close to the one you love and knowing that they don’t love you back.
And why would he? You were just another hunter. Your body was scarred and your mind was damaged from everything you’d been through, everything you’d seen. You knew you weren’t good enough for him.
You were pulled from your thoughts when you noticed the song was nearly over. You sat down on the end of your bed and sang along, fighting to keep your voice steady.
“I wish I could lay down beside you
When the day is done
And wake up to your face against the morning sun
But like everything I've ever known
You'll disappear one day
So I'll spend my whole life hiding my heart away.
I can spend my whole life hiding my heart away…”
As the music trailed off, there was a knock on your door. Frowning, you got to your feet and pulled it open. Your stomach and jaw dropped when you met Cas’ startling blue eyes as he looked at you with a sad expression. For a moment you stared at him blankly, waiting for a response, and then you froze as you recognized his expression. It was pity.
“You read my mind.” You didn’t have to ask, you knew from the guilty expression that crossed his face. “Oh no…” You groaned.
Cas’ frown deepened. “I’m sorry for the intrusion but I could sense you were stressed and I wanted to help.” You nodded weakly in response to his rambling, unable to raise your head as you stared at your feet. “I don’t understand…”
You began to feel nauseous from the embarrassment until Cas spoke again.
“Why do you think I don’t love you?” You forced yourself to look up and meet Cas’ eyes in confusion.
“What?” You managed to choke out in response.
“I don’t understand why you think I don’t love you. I do love you, if I understand love correctly. I am always happier when you are around and I keep trying to think of reasons to be around you more. Whenever I see you my vessel’s heart beats erratically, and I have found myself thinking about you excessively.”
Cas paused and held you in his intense gaze. He stepped in so close to you that you were sure he could feel the heat radiating from your cheeks. He raised his hands to cup your burning face. Again, all you could manage to choke out was, “What?”
“I also don’t understand how you could think that you are not good enough for me. You are a fearless, strong hunter, but you are also a caring and loyal friend. You have saved all of us many times, from demons and ourselves. It hurts me to think that you don’t know this about yourself.”
Cas rested his forehead on yours with a sigh and dropped his hands to rest them on your waist. “It is not you that doesn’t deserve me. I am not worthy of the love of someone like you.”
This time you had no trouble speaking. “What?!” you barked angrily. You stepped in until your body was against his and put your hands on his cheeks to direct his eyes to yours.
“You. Are. Worthy.” Cas smiled at your words before leaning in and pressing his lips briefly to yours.
