Anon requested- ok for spn obviously, a fluffy cas x reader fic?
A/N- I am so sorry that I couldn’t get this out to you sooner, this whole COVID-19 stuff has been really making me super busy! I can still take requests but it may take me a few more days than usual to get them out because of the work I have been doing. Don’t worry, I still love you guys! Love you lovelies!
Cas, I need you... Castiel appeared with a flutter of his wings the second you called.
"Cas?" You said, he cocked his head,
"Yes?" He said, you looked at him,
"You came..." He answered almost immediately,
"I always come when you call Y/N" You sat down on your bed and patted it for Castiel to lay on, he kicked off his shoes and took off his trenchcoat. You climbed under the blankets and he did the same. He turned to face you and you quickly undid his tie, it always seemed to choke him, you thought. You threw it across the room and cuddled close to him, putting your head to his chest. He rested his head on top of yours and let out a breath.
"Cas," You began, he whispered a soft Yes? and you finally told him.
"I love you," In his signature sleepy voice he said back to you,
"I love you too, to heaven and back...You know that" You snuggled closer, feeling his warmth against you. Closing your eyes his arms went around you in a tight hug. He rubbed your back. You spoke some more, half in your sleep and half vocalizing your thoughts.
"I would do anything for you Cas," You began to make up a fake scenario in your head,
"If Lucifer had you, I'd fight tooth and nail to get you out, even though I'm not an angel," You thought some more.
"I'm far from anything special but I would do anything and everything to make sure you're safe, I love you Cas...I love you so much." Castiel put a finger to your lips and shushed you.
"Y/N, I would do the same for you. You're everything to me, I don't know what I would do without you. If anyone had you I'd make sure that they would pay." He tensed up at the thought, but when you kissed his forehead he immediately relaxed. He quietly thought.
"I could never imagine losing you," He kissed you, and then gently pushed your head into his chest. You listened to his heartbeat, slowly falling asleep. Right before you fell asleep Castiel muttered a soft, I love you.
You knew the signs: how days felt longer, how your room seemed darker, and how doing the simple things required to exist seemed like impossible feats.
Suddenly brushing your teeth, taking a shower, and changing your clothes seemed to require the equivalent amount of motivation as running a marathon or hiking over a large hill does. Eating seemed like a waste of time and effort because you weren’t even hungry. Flipping the light switch to ON or opening the blinds was just something you honestly didn’t want to do.
You contemplated that maybe if you just laid in your bed, in the dark, for long enough that time would pause inside your silent room and the world around you would continue spinning while you lay motionless. Or maybe with enough time passed, your body would sink into your sheets and you would become one with your bed- existing but, also, not.
So, yes, you knew the signs but you were always just a little too late to fight them.
The emotions during this time frame varied. Some days it was, in fact, a lack of emotion rather than the overwhelming of many. You stumbled through your days blind and deaf and unfeeling to those around you because you simply couldn’t feel anything within yourself. On those nights, you would stare at your hands and flex your fingers and wonder if they were truly yours- if you were still capable of feeling, touching, and expressing things with them. Pinching the skin on the tips of your fingers and wringing your hands together in sight of what- you didn’t know- until you would determine them useless for now and lay back down in your bed.
Most people describe the sadness rather than the numbness, but you have found the sadness to be farther away and almost out of reach. When it did hit you, it hit you in small spurts: the random thought every now and then, the emotional jostle of your mind from numbing sleep to stare at the wall, and the unfelt tears that stained the sheet of your pillow unceremoniously. As quick as it come, it was gone and you were left there- staring, but not seeing.
You did not want to die or end what you have created, but rather you just wanted to stop existing for a short amount of time. You just wanted to stop thinking, stop being you for a couple days until it passed and then continue again. And, on some nights, when you looked into darkness and let your mind fall still, your breathing would become so shallow that you thought maybe you had.
It was during that period of time when Cas became most concerned about you.
The first time Castiel sensed this experience within you, Sam and Dean had gone on a hunt for a couple weeks and had left you to take care of the bunker while they were gone. He had arrived in the middle of the library, a quiet flurry of wings, expecting to find you reading or on your laptop- how you normally spent these mundane days. Instead, you were nowhere to be seen and, in a startling realization, Cas felt that your soul that usually filled the bunker with its bright presence was dull and quiet in contrast.
Worry shot up his spine as he appeared in front of your door in a swift movement that sounded like a summer wind. His grace felt for the light that always framed your being and fell cold when he found only a dull pulse from inside you. Upon entering your room and assessing that your physical condition was fine, if not unkempt, he realized that it was your mind that was in pain. Your soul, your being, was hurting and there was nothing Castiel could do about it. He felt helpless and considered how useful his gift for healing was if he could not also heal and ease the storm in your head and in your heart.
You assured Castiel that it was no one’s fault- not even your own- and that the most you could do was hope to have better control of it next time. You gave a name to your illness to Castiel and he began finding every bit of useful information he could on how to help you the next time it came around.
And that was what Castiel was doing now.
You knew the angel always checked on your soul to see how it was doing; you could feel the warmth in your chest when Cas searched for your light with his grace. And every time you looked at Cas after he found it, the smallest smile would pull at the corners of his lips. It was an intimate act, but one so innocent that no fault could be found within it. It was the love and care of something far beyond and much deeper than anything you had experienced before.
It was an entirely new experience, but done in a way that no awkwardness or tension nor ulterior motive came out of it.
Often, when you thought of it, you compared it to the concerned act of a loved one pressing their palm to your forehead to check for a fever- it was a small act rooted in worry that held a greater meaning of affection.
This time, however, when Cas checked for the sign that your soul was hurting, he came up with a positive indication and made a quick move to your side. There, he found you laying in the dark, your eyes tired and face pale.
“Y/N.” It was not a question, but rather a reassuring statement of your name; a firm I am here without the need to say so. Cas did not say anymore, but instead fell into action by opening the blinds on your window to let enough light in without hurting your eyes. Next, he gently pulled the covers down and coerced you into a sitting position- which you did so with a small grunt.
“Cas,” you blinked and then slowly rubbed your eyes as he smiled.
Grabbing your hand, he tugged you until you were standing, and- ignoring your protest- ushered you out of your room and into the hallway.
“Take a hot shower, Y/N. And brush your teeth. I’ll be back with a clean set of clothes.”
You did as you were told, although slowly, and stepped out of the hot shower to find your favorite pair of pajamas resting next to the sink where your toothbrush laid- with toothpaste already on the bristles- and you smiled softly. Getting dressed in clean clothes and brushing your teeth felt nice and you lightly stretched your arms out to dull the ache in your back from laying down so much.
When you exited the bathroom, you found Cas in the bunker kitchen, hunched over a steaming mug, dark eyebrows knitted together in thought. “Whatcha doin’?”
Smiling slightly at your voice, Cas picked up the hot mug and moved to the kitchen table, motioning for you to sit, “I was deciding which tea to make; both chamomile and green tea are good for the body and also for improving mood, but I read that chamomile tends to make people drowsy and thought that would not be good considering you have been sleeping a lot.” Setting the mug in front of you, Cas moved to sit in the seat across from you, “I hope you enjoy green tea.”
Smiling, you reached for the cup and blew at the rising steam, “Yeah, I do. Thanks, Cas.”
Cas returned the smile and made a content sound as you began drinking. He watched as you settled in the chair, sighing and felt the dullness around your soul start to fade. He imagined that it was the warmth of the tea melting the darkness away, but it was actually the care and affection from the angel who made the tea that had your mood lightening. You switched back and forth from the murky color of the liquid to the piercing blue oceans of Castiel’s eyes and you were beginning to feel significantly better; your chest warming from the mix of hot tea, Castiel’s grace, and the simple affection you felt for the angel in the moment.
Castiel’s sudden movement was what broke your stupor- when he came back with a turkey sandwich in hand and placed the plate in front of you, your stomach growled at the sight. “Turkey on whole grain,” he explained, “This should help also.”
With a nod and smile of gratitude, you quickly dove into the sandwich; Castiel smiling in satisfaction at the sight of you eating.
“Will you explain it to me?” Caught off guard by your sudden question, Cas tore his eyes away from your chewing mouth and to your eyes.
“Explain what exactly?”
“How you know when I need you.” There was no hesitation nor bluntness to your voice and you watched Cas’ blue eyes widen slightly before squinting the smallest amount in thought.
“Your soul,” he began, folding his hands on top of the dark wood of the table, “When you feel this way, it fades- in a way. Like when the clouds block the sun or when a light bulb begins to dim.”
“You can see that?” He only nodded at your incredulous voice.
“Yes. Thankfully, your soul is returning to normal; you must be feeling better.”
You gave him a smile, “It’s all thanks to you, Cas. You’re incredible.”
You watched, slightly amused, as Cas gazed at you triumphantly, “I am glad I can help you, Y/N. I do not like seeing you like that; it frightens me.”
“I know, Cas… I’m sorry.” Looking down at the crumbs on your now empty plate, guilt ran through you at his words. If you could just take care of yourself and fight it, you wouldn’t have Castiel fretting over you so much.
“No, Y/N, do not think negatively. This is not your fault. You need to learn to stop giving into it, however. You are stronger than you think and you should not just give up whenever things become hard.” Tears pricked your eyes as Castiel moved until he was crouching next to your seat, taking your hands in his. Unlike before when you deemed them useless, your hands sparked with feeling of Cas’ skin against yours.
“Your soul shines so brightly, Y/N; I wish you could see it. And even when you struggle, your soul is waiting to bring light again because, no matter what, this illness does not define you or make you useless. It is only one small part of many that make you who you are.”
“But it’s such a burden… and it makes me a burden.” Your voice lowered as tears fell onto your intertwined hands, but Castiel barely noticed because he was too preoccupied with studying your face as he thought of how to word what he wanted to express to you.
“Y/N… You are not a burden- not at all. Y/N, from what I learned from my experiences outside of Heaven,” he paused to steel his resolve before continuing, “From what I learned from living this new life is that no one is perfect. Not humans, not angels, and not even my father. And while so many seem to be stuck on that fact or fear it, I believe it is what makes us great.”
Castiel took your chin between his fingers and lifted your head gently until your eyes met his, “Y/N, it is the contrast of our flaws to our greatness that lets us see our growth, our strength, and our beauty. One cannot exist without the other and from what I have learned personally: you also cannot love one without the other.”
Realizing the meaning of his words, you wiped at your wide eyes and met his eyes in wonder, “Do you love me?”
“I do.” It was a firm and unshaking promise and you felt an unknown weight fall from your shoulders.
“I love you too, Cas.” Eager to get your statement across, you clutched to the sleeve of his coat.
Bright, blue eyes crinkled at the corners with the effect of his smile, “I know.”
Cas leaned his forehead against yours and you closed your eyes, enjoying the sound of your breathing in the silence. You remained that way, drinking in the calmness and security Cas gave you, until he broke the silence:
“Your soul is glowing,” he spoke lightly against the space between your mouths and you pulled back with a smile so large you could feel your cheeks straining.
So I've decided to get back into writing imagines, drabbles, one-shots, etc... so... yeah. I'm down to write about almost everything, so just send in a request and I'll get to it!!
Spn ship please? I’m 5’4” & my pfp is me. I’m kind of a hopeless romantic. My main interests are art, music, and forensic science! I’m straightforward and logical. I spend most of my time at marching band (I play 5 instruments btw) or at a coffee shop. I make friends surprisingly easily, I’m an ambivert. I’d usually never say it but I need a lot of attention. I’m always tired due to insomnia. I have a bad habit of not being able to take anything seriously/turning everything into a joke. Thanks!
Thank you so much, @apatheticbutaesthetic for the request. :) Here you go.
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Character I ship you with,
Castiel
Word count: 753
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Castiel never slept. He didn’t need to. But everyone elsearound him did and that made him feel the loneliest during the nights. He’dwalk around the bunker aimlessly, sometimes reading in the library or settlingon a movie to watch. Other times, he’d check on everyone despite being told theextent of how creepy that was.
When you moved into the bunkerafter Sam and Dean rescued your people from your post-apocalyptic dimension,Castiel took a special liking towards you. He found you extremely interestingand despite his usual confusion regarding human sense of humour, he actually understoodyour jokes and appreciated them. He’d take the time to talk to you for hours onend about whatever you wanted because he enjoyed listening to you talk and wasfascinated by how you saw the things in the world. And your art always stunnedhim. He’d be shocked by how life-like your pictures looked. In short, he alwaysfound an excuse to spend time with you and neither of you were complaining.
You bobbed your head along to the relaxing music playingthrough your headphones as your brush created wonders on your canvas. It was anadded bonus that your inspiration was in every sense of the word, divine. You didn’teven need him to be there. It was as if you had memorised every detail andevery feature well enough to recreate his image perfectly. The soft blue eyesand their piercing stare were a pleasure to conjure on your canvas. You softlyhummed the mesmerizing melody, piercing the silence that engulfed your room.
As Castiel walked down the hallway he heard the soft butangelic singing coming from your room. It was very late. He wondered what youwere doing up at these hours. He slowly peeped in, from the doorway, trying tosee if you were okay. Upon seeing that you were simply painting, he knocked onyour open door to get your attention. You heard the knock disrupt the steadybeat of your music and turned.
“Oh, hey Castiel. Come in.”
“Hello, Y/N.” He slowly made his way inside and stood besideyou, silently observing your painting. When he realised what he was looking at,he reddened and felt utterly awkward.
“That’s… a beautiful picture, Y/N. You truly have wonderoustalent.” He managed to get out. He stared at the picture, or rather himself,seated in a lush garden, surrounded by soft white glowing light. He lookedcompletely at home in such an environment and he felt you’d accentuated hislove for nature quite a bit.
At that comment you felt something bubble up inside of you. “Thankyou, Cas. That means a lot.” You bashfully replied, before going back to thepainting, not wanting to meet his gaze, for fear of saying something stupid orlame and ruining the moment.
“Why aren’t you asleep? It’s really late. I wouldn’t advisecompromising on your sleep.” He said, looking at you with concern.
“Sleep is for the weak.” You mumbled, jokingly and you couldimagine him furrowing his eyebrows in confusion. You sighed and turned aroundto face him. “Sometimes, Cas, I find it difficult to fall asleep. So… I try to occupymyself with something when I have that difficulty.” You shrugged, not wantingto make it a big deal. Castiel thought for a bit, processing what you said andthen looked down at you, with that same blue stare you were painting.
“Maybe I can help.” He suggested, extending his hands foryou to take. You suspiciously placed your hands in his, wondering what he was upto. He led you towards your bed, never taking his gaze away from you andclimbed under the covers, waiting for you to do the same. You softly rolledyour eyes with a hint of a smile playing at your mouth and followed suit. Hetentatively wrapped his arms around you, letting you rest your head on hischest. He kicked his shoes off and got comfortable. You felt him gently strokeyour arm, which made you feel relaxed and unwound.
He suddenly felt a little uncomfortable and asked, “I hopethis isn’t too…”, but he didn’t finish because he heard your relaxed breathingas you nestled closer to him in your sleep. He smiled softly at the innocentbut tired look on your face and gingerly placed his lips on your forehead. “Pleasantdreams, Y/N”, whispering against your skin. He could really get used to this.And so could you.
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A/N:- Sorry for the cheese and the delay. I hope you like it. I know it took me too long. But thanks for requesting and reading. :)
Characters: Dean, Reader, Sam and Cas (No pairing completely platonic)
Word Count: 3.3K
A/N: So I took some liberties with this request. I couldn’t see Sam getting angry with her so I had Dean channel his inner John. This is not John Winchester positive.
Warnings: Some angst and yelling, cussing, Dean is an ass to the Reader.
Request: Hi I really like 18th Birthday Gift you did a amazing job on it. I was wondering if I can make another request. Where the reader lives with Sam and Dean in the bunker and after a rough hunt the boys yell at her because she messed up or something and she end up crying. So when the boys are not paying attention or are sleeping she packs her stuff up and sneaks out. When the boys realize they go looking for her but end up needing Castiel to help them find her. Lots of fluff. @deansupernatural67cas
Two weeks on the road, the whole car was cranky and just wanted to go home. Dean had blared the music while Sam was searching for something on his laptop, (Y/N) was just staring out the window allowing the world to fly by.
“So get this.” Sam muttered.
“Oh no, no, no. Dude, we just finished two back to back hunts. Can’t we just get a day off?” Dean complained before Sam said another word.
(Y/N) popped her head up from her day dream to listen to Sam knowing Dean’s protests were falling on deaf ears. “Really! I can’t believe you Dean. People are dying and you just want to get back to your bed.” Sam guilted him.
“Yeah, yeah, I do.” Dean called out.
(Y/N) placed her hand on Sam’s shoulder, “We’ll take the case.” With a few simple words she effectively ended their argument.
“Ok” Dean grumbled. “What’s the case?”
There had been two murders of some local girls that had been abducted from a bar in town. When the authorities found the bodies there were large bite marks to their necks and they had been drained of all their blood. The three hunters knew right way what had caused this and it wasn’t an animal attack.
The first place they checked out was the bar, (Y/N) flirted with the bartender. “I’m looking for my friends. They like to have a real, real good time. I lost my cell phone and I had to get a new one but I lost all my numbers.” She laid it on thick and he was buying every bit of it too.
“There’s a crew. They’ve been here almost every night this week. You sure they’re your kinda people?” He asked her concerned for her well being.
“Oh yeah.” (Y/N) bit her lip. “Do you know where they’re holed up at? I’d love to surprise them.”
In less than ten minutes, she had an address with directions and free shot of tequila.
“Be safe out there.” The bartender took her hand and his dark brown eyes looked directly into hers. “You know some girls have gone missing. I’d hate to see your pretty face on the back of some milk carton somewhere.”
“I can take care of myself but thank you for your concern.” She told him.
(Y/N) joined the Winchesters at a high top, “What was that all about?” Dean asked.
“What was what about?” She questioned not sure what he meant.
“Him touching you.”
“Oh he was just telling me to be safe. He’s a good guy. He’s probably a father or uncle.” She explained and they seemed to understand.
Within the hour, they were staking out the abandoned house and made the determination that this was definitely the nest that killed the two girls.
Sam and Dean grabbed their blades from the back. “Ok, Sammy you’re with me.” Dean handed her a machete, “(Y/N) stay outside and you get any that make it passed us.”
“Yeah, ok, stay outside.” She nodded. Dean always wanted to keep (Y/N) safe and hand to hand in close quarters was never her strong suit.
“Stick to the plan and we’ll be home by morning.” Dean smiled looking between Sam and (Y/N).
The boys went hot and fast through the back door as (Y/N) stood ready by the front door.
She took a heavy breathe, “Just follow the plan.”
One vamp came busting out the front door and (Y/N) hid next to frame before she swung hard slicing his head off in one blow. This made the other vamps think they were surrounded and no one else charged the front door. (Y/N) could hear the scuffle coming from inside.
“Sammy!” Dean called out. Her mind raced she wanted to help but also needed to stay the course.
“Dean!” She heard Sam yell.
“Just follow the plan and stay outside.” She told herself. (Y/N) grasped the handle of her blade, “Fuck it!”
She barged through the open door, searching for the brothers. Out of nowhere, someone rushed her slamming her into the wall. Teeth pierced through her lower neck, (Y/N) fought back pushing the dark haired vampire off of her. Her screams ripped through the small house bringing the Winchesters to her rescue. Sam found her first grabbing at the vampire’s jacket shoving him to the ground before he swung decapitating him with one thrust.
Dean followed rushing to (Y/N)’s side, “Dammit! Dammit! (Y/N) you gotta open your eyes.” He cradled her head in his large hands. “Why didn’t you stay outside?”
She groaned, feeling lightheaded trying to stand to her feet leaning against the wall. “Ahh shit. Thanks for saving me.”
“Yeah, we wouldn’t have to save you if you just stayed outside.” Dean spat.
“I’m sorry.” She rasped out.
“Well sorry, doesn’t bring you back from the dead does it?” Dean stared her down as he pressed his shirt to her neck.
“Dean chill!” Sam yelled at him, scooping (Y/N) up in her arms running her to the car. He slid into the backseat with her, keeping pressure on the wound.
Dean started the ignition, “Why did you come inside?” He started up again.
(Y/N) was losing a lot of blood, her voice was rough from all the screaming, “I thought you were…”
“No, No, No!” Sam yelled at her trying to keep her eyes open. “Dean just drive. I gotta get her stitched up.”
The Impala roared down the highway to the motel, Sam carried her inside laying her down on the bed, she had been in and out of consciousness the whole drive over. (Y/N) winced biting down on her lip as Sam poured alcohol over wound, her gashes were sever and Sam had to do multiple little stitches all over her collarbone and neck. Dean just kept pacing and huffing, from his body language (Y/N) could tell he was pissed, she screwed up but she just wanted help them. Tears fell down her face, it wasn’t the pain, she could handle the pain but she disappointed Dean and that was the one thing she never wanted to do.
As soon as Sam was done dressing (Y/N)’s wounds Dean spoke, “You know, I’m glad you got hurt, maybe next time you’ll listen to me. I still can’t believe you came inside (Y/N)! You should have never stepped a foot inside that house.”
“Fine! Fine Dean!” She stood up, “Next time I think you’re in trouble I just won't come to help you.” (Y/N) ran to the bathroom, wiping her eyes as she cried.
She sat against the door crying and Dean left the room driving off in anger. Sam was left alone in the main room still unsure what really just happened. He knocked on the door, “Hey, it’s just me. Dean isn’t here. Can I come in?”
“Yeah” She cried and she stood up next to sink as she opened the door. “Sam, I just don’t understand. Why is he so mad? All I wanted to do was help.”
Sam pulled her into a hug, “He isn’t mad. He’s scared that you got hurt. He cares for you so much, that’s why he’s upset.”
She sobbed incoherently into his chest, and Sam suggested she go to sleep because things will be better in the morning. (Y/N) slept next to Sam as he curled around her and he told her he would protect her and keep her safe.
The next morning, Dean was cold and barely spoke more than a few words to her. She held back tears the whole car ride home as Dean glared at her in the rear view mirror.
(Y/N) made dinner, sort of as a peace offering, Dean was very much appreciated of the gesture. He took a huge bite of the burger and with a full mouth of food he declared, “I’ve been thinkin’ and you should just do research until we can get you better combat training.”
“Excuse me! You’re fucking benching me! No, you don’t get to be an ass to me all damn day and then tell me you’re benching me!” She yelled with a fiery roar. “I’m sorry I screwed up but I thought you and Sam were in danger.” She left the room to be alone.
“I can’t believe him. Who the hell does he think he is?” She talked to herself as she pulled her duffel out. (Y/N) didn’t have a ton of stuff and it would only take two or three bags to pack up everything she owned. It was late in the evening, she checked the main rooms for the sign of the Winchesters and they were asleep while she loaded her stuff into her car. Silently, she drove out of the garage, she didn’t know where she was going but she knew where she wasn’t wanted.
“Hey Sweetheart!” Dean knocked on her door, “I made your favorite.” He waited to hear her move or say something, “Hey, don’t be like that. Please talk to me. I’m really sorry. I shouldn’t have told you that. I’m coming in. I feel silly talking to you through the door.” He opened the door slowly giving (Y/N) the opportunity to tell him to get lost. He walked in and noticed that all of her drawers were still pulled out and her bed wasn’t slept in. Dean knew right away she left. “Dammit!” He charged down the hallway to the garage, her car was gone too. “Dammit! Dammit!” He yelled hanging his head, she left because of him, all because of him. He sank down up against the wall. “Sammy! Sammy!” His chest was crushing him with heartbreak, he just wanted to keep her safe and now she wasn’t even here for him to protect.
Sam came running to his brother’s side, “Dean, what’s wrong?”
“She left.” Dean wept a single tear down his cheek, “(Y/N) left.” Dean’s face said it all, he couldn’t think, he couldn’t focus.
“Lets call her.” Sam suggested calmly.
“Ok.” Dean allowed his brother to help him up off the floor leading him to war room.
Sam pulled up his laptop and began trying to track (Y/N)’s cell phone, credit cards and license plates as Dean called her.
“(Y/N), Sweetheart, I’m so so sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings. Please come home.” He left a voicemail on her phone.
“Did you find anything yet?” Dean inquired to Sam.
“No, she must have turned her GPS off and she’s probably using cash also she had to have changed her plates.” Sam told him. “She doesn’t want to be found, just keep calling her. She’ll come home.”
Dean tried her phone once every 30 minutes leaving long heartfelt voicemails that almost broke Sam’s heart as he listened to him. (Y/N) had become their sister that they never thought they needed but they did need her, she made them stronger and happier.
Sam thought Dean was calling (Y/N) again but he call someone else, “Hey Cas, I need your help.” Dean willed away his tears.
“Hello Dean and Sam” Castiel appeared out of nowhere. “How can I help?”
“It’s (Y/N). I yelled at her and she pack up her stuff and now we can’t find her.” Dean explained.
“That would explain why she has been praying since last night.” Cas informed them.
“She been praying?” Dean questioned.
“Mainly for forgiveness, protection for you two and for me to not to find her.” Cas sat down next to Dean, he didn’t want to tell them everything that (Y/N) had been praying about so he kept a few things secret.
“So do you know where she is?” Dean’s eyes became red again as he push back a tear.
“I can help you find her but I’m not sure if I should.”
“Please Cas, I just have to tell her I’m sorry. If she doesn’t want to home come, I’ll have to live with that.” Dean pleaded with him.
(Y/N) made it a state away before she stopped to rest. “I can do this on my own.” She psyched herself up about her decision. “I don’t need them and I definitely don’t need Dean. If I happen to get myself killed, then I’ll see them in heaven.” She muttered wiping the fog from the mirror as she came out of the shower.
(Y/N) got dressed in her yoga pants and large t-shirt, she wasn’t really going to go anywhere today. She curled up in the bed surrounding herself in the blankets and pillows, she didn’t want to be alone but she had turned off her phone hours ago still not wanting to be found. She prayed like she was having a conversation with Cas, ‘I love them but I just can’t be there anymore. I wanna forgive Dean. He hurt me right to the core of who I am. He doesn’t think I should be hunting. If I’m not a hunter, than what am I. I don’t care that he is only trying to protect me, our job is dangerous. Please God forgive him because I’m not sure that I can, right now. Cas, please don’t come find me. I know you can. Please, please they can’t always protect me. If I die, then well I die.’ Her tears stained her pillow as she prayed and fell into a sleep of exhaustion.
When Cas heard her praying again he wanted to go to her, comfort her pain. (Y/N) was that missing puzzle piece to the team and she was a talented and skilled hunter. He didn’t understand why Dean had been upset with her, and she had taught Cas so much over the years. He was torn between his loyalty to the Winchesters and his respect for (Y/N).
“I will go to her. If she doesn’t want to come home, I’m not going to force her.” Cas said before he popped out of the room.
He took a deep breath and knocked on the door, (Y/N) woke up and shuffled to the door hoping it wasn’t the manager giving her a difficult time for paying in cash again. She swung open the door, “Cas, what are you doing here? I told you not to come.”
He walked past her into the room and she slammed the door shut, “I know what you said. Sam and Dean sent me; they are worried about you. Dean is very sorry.”
“Well he shouldn’t have been such a jerk to me.” She sat on the bed crossing her legs in her lap. “I hate this Cas. He doesn’t get to treat me like that and then just say he’s sorry.”
“Then let him make it up to you.” Cas took a seat next to her on the bed.
“I don’t know.” She laid her head down on Cas’ lap.
Cas stroked her long hair. “He just wants to tell you in person. We can drive back and if after you see him, you don’t want to stay I’ll help you leave.”
“You know good and well that’s not going to happen.” She smiled up at him.
He shrugged, “Probably, but I hate seeing you two upset. Please let's just get you home.”
She didn’t want to be in a lonely hotel room but she didn’t want to go back, she was still upset and didn’t think Dean could say anything to make her change her mind. She sighed, “Alright, I’ll go back to the bunker and listen to what he has to say.”
Cas helped her load her stuff up in the car and they drove back. (Y/N) made Cas stop along the way a few times for breaks plus she wanted to make Dean sweat. “Come here Cas!” She called, lifting up her phone to take a selfie of them both.
“We should be getting back on the road.” He took her hand leading her back to the car.
“They know I’m with you. I saw you text them.”
“I know you just don’t want to face him so you’re stalling.”
“Yeah, you’re damn right, I am. I’m hungry. You wanna buy a girl a meal.” She chuckled.
“Ok but once your feed, I’m taking you home.” He informed.
Dinner included a few pieces of fried chicken, potato wedges and drink from the gas station down the road. Even the cheap meal had made (Y/N) feel better, she didn’t want to see Dean if she was hangry, that would have made the whole experience even worse.
Within the hour, the pair pulled into the garage. When Dean heard the door to the garage open, he ran down the hallway with Sam behind him. Dean didn’t even wait for (Y/N) to get out of the car, he was opening her door and pulling her up into his arms hugging her hard.
“Dean!” She giggled, almost forgetting why she was mad.
“I was the biggest ass and I’m sorry. You had every right to leave me, I mean leave us.” He murmured in your ear.
“Umm hey Cas, why don’t we leave these two be?” Sam signaled to Cas as he left the garage.
“Help me with my bags?” Her large (Y/E/C) eyes looked into Dean’s emerald eyes. “Then we can talk.”
Dean happily slid her backpack around his arms, picked up a duffle and then he flung his arm around her shoulders while they walked to her room. They tossed her bags on the floor, before Dean started talking, “I’m really sorry. I know that doesn’t make up for how I treated you. Yeah, you messed up but I should have been proud that you were brave enough to come in when you knew you shouldn’t have.” He wiped his hand down his face, “We need you. I need you, (Y/N).” Her eyes were becoming wet from his confession. “I don’t know why I thought I could treat you way my dad used to treat me when I fucked up. I’m not him and you aren’t me plus that’s no way to treat people you love.”
“Dean.” Her voice was soft as she reached out to touch his face.
He sat her on the bed, “I have no right to ask you this but can you please forgive me? I need you to forgive me.” She leaned against him and sighed, “I promise we won’t bench you but we are going to train you harder.”
“Ok, ok.” She spoke still soft trying not let the tears fall, “I forgive you.”
“Are you ok with the extra training?”
“Yeah, it’s obviously that I need it but not until I’m healed up.”
“Deal!” He stuck out his hand to shake.
She opened her arms not accepting a hand when she could get a hug. “Deal.” She whispered in his ear. She laid down on the bed now emotionally exhausted. “Will you hold me?”
“Whatever you want, Sweetheart.” He kissed the top of her forehead.
Dean snuggled around her holding her back to his chest. “Whatever I want?” She popped her head up thinking about what she could ask for.
“Yeah sure.”
“Can you make french toast tomorrow?” She asked like a child.
“You could’ve had french toast this morning but you had to run off.” He tickled her side.
She laughed hard, making her face light up. “I guess I overreacted.”
“Yeah but so did I. Go to sleep Sweetheart. Tomorrow will be so much better and today will just feel like a bad dream.” He held her even closer. She was back in his life and he wasn’t going to lose her again.
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Summary: Castiel goes to confess his feelings to y/n, but before he can, she has a few words to say.
Warnings: Castiel being cute and fluffy.
Rating: Fluff.
A/n: Castiel x Reader, inspired by line(s) from “Believer” by Imagine Dragons.
Title: Believer.
I was choking in the crowd
Living my brain up in the cloud
Falling like ashes to the ground
Hoping my feelings, they would drown
But they never did, ever lived, ebbing and flowing
Inhibited, limited
Till it broke up and it rained down
It rained down, like
(Pain)
By the grace of the fire and the flames
You're the face of the future, the blood in my veins, oh ooh
The blood in my veins, oh ooh
Castiel paces around the room. He can’t understand the waves of anxiety that crash into him. This shouldn’t be that hard. It’s only a few words. A few sentences. He just has to say it and wait for a response. Yet, his heart stammers in his chest, his palms grow sweaty as he runs them through his hair, doing nothing but making it messier than it was originally. He closes his eyes and takes in a few deep breathes. All throughout the night he rehearsed his speech. He had it down to a science. Castiel had made sure it was perfect, he’d memorized it by heart, but suddenly he couldn’t remember any of it. He heard your door open as you called out for Dean and Sam. He only had a few seconds. Shakily, he quickly reaches into his pockets. He struggles to grab the note cards with his sweaty palms and pulls them out. You turn the corner, and he looks down at the notes desperately.
“Y/n!” His voice is louder than he means it to be, and she looks up in shock.
“Oh, hey Cas.” Y/n laughs sheepishly and walks up to the obviously flustered angel. “What’s up?” He stares down at her and his eyes widen in horror as he tries to shove the notes back in his pocket. He misses entirely, and they fall to the ground. Y/n tries to pretend she doesn’t notice for his sake, and instead she smiles.
“Y/n, I need to, I need to say-say something to you,” he stutters. “I must tell you something.” Y/n nods quickly, holding her hand up.
“I need to say something first, Cas. It’s really important…please?” He visibly steps back when he meets her gaze, unable to take the intensity of her e/c eyes.
“O-oh, yes. Yes, that’s fine. Go ahead,” he smiles nervously.
Y/n closes her eyes, and sighs softly. “I’m not…I’m not good at this stuff, but, Cas…” She opens her eyes and musters all her courage. “I really, really care for you Cas.” Castiel’s eyes widen. “I know it’s crazy, Cas…I just…” She looks up at him, meeting his gaze. “I love you, Cas. I do.” He tilts his head, the world rolling around in his head. “And you don’t have to say anything- I just, I just wanted to let you know. I had to say it, I had to at least say it…”
After a few moments of silence pass, y/n shifts uncomfortably. “Please say something. Cas?” His eyes dart to meet her gaze, and his lips part, a small smile tugging at his lips.
“Y/n, thank you for telling me.” Her heart falls slightly, and she looks down at the ground.
“O-oh. Yeah, no problem.” She says, smiling sheepishly. Castiel tilts his head and breathes in deeply.
Y/n,” he murmurs, closing his eyes briefly.
“No- Cas, you don’t have to…uh, say anything, I guess. I jus-”
“No, Y/n. I need to.” He moves forward, placing his hands on her shoulders. “Really, thank you for telling me how you feel y/n.” She clenches her jaw slightly and looks down, nodding. “I do not need to worry about your reaction now.”
Her eyebrows shoot down in confusion, and she looks up, opening her mouth to ask him what he means.
Castiel kisses her before she can say anything, wrapping his arms around her and weaving one hand into her hair.
Y/n stands still, stunned at his actions.
“Y/n, I love you. More than anything I’ve ever known,” he pulls away, resting his forehead on hers and staring deeply into her e/c eyes. “I have never known anything that makes me feel the way you do,” he murmurs, briefly closing his eyes.
When they open again, his eyes glow intensely. “I did not know what love was,” he continues. “I did not understand how humans could become so…” He frowns, trying to find the right word. “So…infatuated, with each other. Wanting to spend every second with each other, wanting to keep the other one safe…I’ve felt like this…for you…for so long, I didn’t understand…how could I? Something so…painfully beautiful, how could that be love? Love should not hurt, it should not feel as if every moment away from you is ripping apart my entire being…and if so, being near should rid of that- but it doesn’t…nothing does, nothing makes this feeling go away. Love is not supposed to be painful, it should not hurt…but it does.” He steps forward, as if trying to get closer to y/n, although he is already pressed against her. “It does, and…it is strange. Even now, my heart…” He grabs her hand and presses it to his chest. “…it is beating out of control, my chest is contracting, and my breath is getting lost in my throat, I-” He closes his eyes, breathing in deeply.
His eyes flash. “It does not go away…but it is not…” he tilts his head and breathes in deeply. “It is not unpleasant,” he tilts his head down, his nose bumping against hers. “It’s rather…nice.” A smile forms on y/n’s face and he kisses her again.
“Castiel- I,”
“No, y/n, I am not done.” He opens his eyes. “I want you to be safe, happy…I want you to be loved,” his face scrunches slightly. “But not because of anyone else, because of me.” He clarifies. “I want to keep you safe. I want to make you happy, I want to…I want to love you, y/n. Let me…will you let me love you?” His eyes widen as his features soften, his eyes unbelievably blue as he stares at her. Y/n smiles again, staring down at the ground “Castiel, I just told you how I felt a few minutes ago…you know-” Castiel presses his palm to her cheek, tilting her head up to meet her gaze.
“I want to hear you say it, y/n. Please,” his eyebrows pull down, and he dips his head down, whispering in her ear: “Please, y/n…I want you to be mine: let me love you.”
Y/n’s eyes widen slightly, and he rests his head on her shoulder, his breath hot on her skin.
“Cas…” He pulls his head back instantly, his blue eyes peering into her soul as she smiles. “Of course- yes, Cas…you can…” She laughs softly. “You have permission to love me,” she giggles, not able to control her laughter. Castiel’s face falls, his eyebrows pulling down as he frowns softly.
“You…you’re laughing at me? I did something wrong…” He begins to pull away, but she grabs the sleeve of his trench coat.
“No, Cas- it’s just, you don’t have to ask for someone’s permission to love them.” Cas’s frown contorts into a look of confusion.
“I do not?” He asks.
“No, Cas, you don’t.” Y/n smiles brightly, shaking her head slightly at the Angel’s confusion. His face brightens.
“Well, then, I love you, y/n.” He pulls y/n to him, kissing her forehead and smiling. “I always have, and I always will.”
_________________
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The witch cackled maniacally, making you raise an eyebrow. “You’re really into this whole Wicked Witch thing, aren’t you, bitch?” You snarled at the poor shell of a woman, who had been possessed by the ghost of a dark witch just hours before. You didn’t see the witch behind those eyes, you saw the woman the witch was possessing. A woman screaming for her freedom. And you determined to make sure she remained unharmed.
“Y/N!” Dean screamed as he and Sam finally arrived at the scene. Dean didn’t even bother closing the car door before running towards you, aiming his gun at the woman. You knew he had is witch-killing bullets inside, which you now knew wouldn’t work on her.
“Don’t shoot! It’s a ghost, Dean! The ghost of the witch is possessing her.” You spun around to face him completely. Then, you noticed a familiar trench coat slip from the back seat, making your body relax for just a moment. Cas’ presence alone almost always calmed you. You smiled at the blue-eyed angel as you twirled the enchanted crystal that dangled from your neck, temporarily distracted by your gorgeous boyfriend.
You heard Dean scream your name from beside you, causing you to turn. Your eyes widened as you suddenly launched backwards, your entire body tingling, before everything went black.
“Y/N!” Castiel screamed as he approached you, nearly knocking Dean off his feet as he raced passed him. He knelt beside your motionless body, wincing when his hand touched your heated arm. “She’s been cursed.” Even in his weakened state, Cas knew you were gone. The curse was just too strong for you to handle.
The angel didn’t know what to do next. For over a year, since the day he told you he loved you, he had almost always been by your side. He watched over you, no matter what the case, and made sure that the boys took good care of you. And today, he failed at his most important duty. Now, you were gone forever.
Cas leaned down and pulled you up against his chest. His shuddered breathing caused your head to shake against him as he pressed your cheek tightly into the folds of his trench coat. His other arm supported your back as he rocked you.
“I held you in my arms every night as you slept. But, tonight, your sleep will be eternal,” Cas whispered, his voice shaking. He stared up at the heavens he once called home as tears streamed down his face. “So, I will never let you go.”
“You’ll probably have to let go at some point, babe, or things might get difficult.”
Cas’ hand slowly lowered back to your form. His eyes were like saucers as they as they met your gaze. “You’re—”
“Not worm food? Nope, not yet. You can’t get rid of me that easily,” you joked as you clutched your enchanted crystal. “It must have absorbed some of the shock. I still feel like I’ve been hit by a meteor, but I’m still kickin’.”
Cas smiled down at you, his gaze filled with adoration and love. Then, he leaned down, pressing a desperate kiss onto your lips. You returned the kiss, smiling against his lips as your heart pounded. It was going to be alright. You were going to be alright. And to Castiel, that’s all that mattered. Sure, the witch was still out there somewhere, having disappeared the moment se casted her spell, but neither of you cared. You’d catch her, that much was certain.
But, for now, you were safe and exactly where you needed to be, in the arms of the man you loved.
