Anon requested- ok for spn obviously, a fluffy cas x reader fic?
A/N- I am so sorry that I couldn’t get this out to you sooner, this whole COVID-19 stuff has been really making me super busy! I can still take requests but it may take me a few more days than usual to get them out because of the work I have been doing. Don’t worry, I still love you guys! Love you lovelies!
Cas, I need you... Castiel appeared with a flutter of his wings the second you called.
"Cas?" You said, he cocked his head,
"Yes?" He said, you looked at him,
"You came..." He answered almost immediately,
"I always come when you call Y/N" You sat down on your bed and patted it for Castiel to lay on, he kicked off his shoes and took off his trenchcoat. You climbed under the blankets and he did the same. He turned to face you and you quickly undid his tie, it always seemed to choke him, you thought. You threw it across the room and cuddled close to him, putting your head to his chest. He rested his head on top of yours and let out a breath.
"Cas," You began, he whispered a soft Yes? and you finally told him.
"I love you," In his signature sleepy voice he said back to you,
"I love you too, to heaven and back...You know that" You snuggled closer, feeling his warmth against you. Closing your eyes his arms went around you in a tight hug. He rubbed your back. You spoke some more, half in your sleep and half vocalizing your thoughts.
"I would do anything for you Cas," You began to make up a fake scenario in your head,
"If Lucifer had you, I'd fight tooth and nail to get you out, even though I'm not an angel," You thought some more.
"I'm far from anything special but I would do anything and everything to make sure you're safe, I love you Cas...I love you so much." Castiel put a finger to your lips and shushed you.
"Y/N, I would do the same for you. You're everything to me, I don't know what I would do without you. If anyone had you I'd make sure that they would pay." He tensed up at the thought, but when you kissed his forehead he immediately relaxed. He quietly thought.
"I could never imagine losing you," He kissed you, and then gently pushed your head into his chest. You listened to his heartbeat, slowly falling asleep. Right before you fell asleep Castiel muttered a soft, I love you.
So I've decided to get back into writing imagines, drabbles, one-shots, etc... so... yeah. I'm down to write about almost everything, so just send in a request and I'll get to it!!
Characters: Ace!Reader x Castiel (human and angel), with help from the dynamic duo Dean and Sam
Word Count: 10,413
Warnings: slight mention of aphobia (it’s super mild, I promise), fluff fluff fluff other than that
Summary: Everyone has a past, everyone has a secret, everyone has something they want to keep hidden. For Steve, it’s his past as the angel Castiel and all the wrong he had done. For you, it’s your past as a hunter and identifying on the ace spectrum. The past comes back to haunt Steve, and what follows is a journey neither of you expected, but both of you needed.
Author’s Note: So, hi guys. This fic started as more of a self-indulgent project than anything, as I identify on the ace spectrum as demisexual. It’s really hard to find ace representation in media, so I decided to post this not just for me, but for others who are on the ace spectrum and want to see themselves in media. It means a lot to me. I hope it means something to you guys too.
His name was Steve, and he lived in the back room of the Gas n’ Sip. At least, that’s what you gathered from the sleeping bag, toothbrush, and the singular change of clothes.
Steve was a peculiar man, but the whole staff could tell he tried hard to be a good employee, so no one really gives him too hard of a time. He does work, he is polite to all the customers, and he takes even the smallest tasks seriously. It was endearing, actually, the importance he placed on properly stocking the slushie machine.
Steve was your favorite employee to have to work with for those very reasons. Plus, he was just fun to talk to. He asked so many interesting questions that lead to many in depth, thought provoking discussions, it was different from the people you had grown to know over your time here.
But Steve seemed to have a past he wouldn’t talk about. There were times when he would clam up during conversation, change the topic abruptly, and no one was really sure what he could have to hide. Other than being a little lacking in some knowledge of the modern world, he was rather normal. What could he have to be running from?
“Steve, check out that car in the parking lot.” You told him one day. “Old school, sleek, and just like new. Now that’s how to drive in style.” When he turned to look, you leaned your head towards the black Chevy Impala that clearly wasn’t from this decade. Steve froze when his eyes laid on the car. He stopped breathing, a look of fear seeping into his eyes. He looked like he wanted to disappear from the very spot he stood in.
Your eyebrows pinched together in concern. “What’s wrong Steve?” But he wouldn’t answer you. Instead, he turned and rushed to the backroom, throwing an incomprehensible excuse over his shoulder, just before the bell above the door jingled upon opening.
Tall, flannel-layered, and bowlegged, the man walked in and scanned the store with his green eyes. It didn’t seem like he was looking for a specific type of beer or chips.
“Is that your car out there?” You asked, grabbing his attention. He glanced from you, to his car, and back to you again, a smile on his face now.
“Yeah, most reliable car I’ve ever owned.” He grinned as he spoke, patting his coat pocket where his keys must have been.
You laughed a little in agreement. “They don’t make ‘em like that anymore, do they?”
He shook his head. “Nope, sure don’t.” He glanced around the store once more before approaching you at the counter. “I’m here to visit a buddy of mine, is he in today? Slightly shorter than me, squinty blue eyes, kinda...”
“...Peculiar but well-meaning?” You finished his thought for him as he tried to find the right words to say.
He snapped his fingers. “Exactly! That’s him!”
“I’ll go look. Can I tell him who is looking for him?”
He hesitated for a moment, as if unsure of how to respond. It was a behavior that seemed familiar to you, from a time so long ago now. “Dean.” He finally responded.
You gave Dean a nod. “Be right back.” Turning, you made your way back to the stockroom, where Steve was furiously pacing in the very small space. He didn’t even look up as you opened the door, so you knocked on the wood to get his attention. When his head snapped up, his blue eyes were confused and darting around in a flighty manner. “Steve, there’s a friend of yours here to see you. Said his name’s Dean. Tall, green eyes, looks like he stole his wardrobe from a lumberjack, drives an old Chevy?”
Steve exhaled fast and sharp, as if you had just confirmed something he didn’t want to hear. “Tell him...” He let his sentence trail off. He seemed like he wasn’t sure what to do. “Tell him...I...I’m...”
“Is everything okay, Steve?” You put a hand on his shoulder. “You’re shaking.”
“I’m fine.” He assured you. He was lying, of course, but he did his best to sound stable. “I’ll be out in a second.”
You removed your hand from his shoulder, still giving him a concerned look, but relenting at his words. He went to walk past you and out the door, but you stopped him before he could. “Hey Steve?” He turned to look at you, still frazzled. “I know what it’s like, to have your past come back to disturb the waters. You don’t have to go out there, but if it’s what will help you, than do what is best.”
Steve took a calming breath, a little of his anxiety fading away. “Thank you, Y/N.”
You gave him a half-smile, remembering being in his shoes. “I’m here if you need anything, okay?”
He gave only a silent nod in response, and left the room.
You left a few moments after, trying not to eavesdrop, but it was kinda hard with a store so small. Things needed stocked and cleaned, and when business was slow, the conversation could be picked up over the quiet hum of the TV above the counter. Bits and pieces stuck out to you: “Sam and I...case...leads...help...Please Cas...”
Cas? You thought to yourself as you placed candy-bars in the front counter. Is that supposed to be Steve?
“Dean, no...I’m no help to anyone anymore...I’m not...hunter...I can’t.”
You froze in your tracks, breaking the chocolate bar you meant to place on the rack at the front counter.
Hunter.
Was Dean...was Steve...? Impossible, you thought, this is Steve we are talking about. He doesn’t drink, doesn’t hustle pool at bars, doesn’t know the significance of beef jerky...he can’t be.
Dean sighed a dejected sigh. “Fine,” He said, more audibly now, “think it over, you’ll know where to find us.” His boots fell heavy as he walked out the door, and the bell echoed through the store as it closed behind him.
You didn’t mention it the entire rest of your shift. You kept conversation small: simple-work related questions and favors only. Steve’s blue eyes held storm clouds and you figured it was best to let a few of them pass on their own.
At four o’clock, you bought two sodas and found Steve by the back of the store. “Cherry or Grape?” You asked, leaning against the wall by the time clock, holding the drinks out for him.
He almost questioned you, but decided against it. “Grape.” He took the soda and unscrewed the cap. “Thank you, Y/N.”
“Penny for your thoughts, Steve?”
“My woes are not worth monetary value.”
You chuckled a bit. “I meant, want to talk about it?”
He hesitated a moment, internally debating his answer, until he replied in an exhausted voice, “I’d like that.”
Leading the way, the two of you sat on a bench a little ways from the store. You cracked open your drink and let the carbonation bubbles fizzle away. “So what’s up. You’ve been uncharacteristically quiet since your friend left.” Steve stared at the bottle in his hands for a moment, not responding to you right away. “That...was a friend, right?”
“At first he was a colleague. We grew close the more we worked together, him, his brother, and I. But our jobs are-- were --stressful. We had a lot of close calls, a lot of losses, and mistakes were made. I specifically made a pretty bad one. Dean is trying to get me to come back.”
“But you don’t trust yourself?” You asked carefully.
His head dipped a little. “I caused a lot of heartache and pain because I thought I was doing what was right every single time I tried to help. I don’t know if I can face them both, Dean and his brother, and go back to everything like nothing happened.”
You let the silence stretch for a moment before asking, hesitantly, “What did you all do for a living.”
Steve actually laughed at your question. It was really a slightly more forceful breath through his nose, but a small, somewhat pained smile played at his lips. “We were...cops.”
You just nodded in response at first, not sure whether or not he was telling the truth. Cop is a damn close comparison to hunter, at least in your mind, and if you were in his shoes (you had been, technically still are), you’d say the same thing. “I’ve been there, Steve. In fact, that’s the reason I live in this little town and work in this little gas station. I ran from a mistake I couldn’t handle. You know what that did?”
Steve tilted his head. “What?”
“It made the healing process take a hell of a lot longer.” You informed him in a serious tone. “So if you want my advice, I’d at least hear them out, see what’s up, and help just this once. Get one win under your belt, and then work from there. If you pack it in a box and put it on a shelf, it’s gonna sit there in your peripheral vision and nag you with its presence more than if you take it down, open it up, and sort through the contents.”
Steve was silent for a long time. He felt there was truth to your words, a kind of truth that only comes from years or reflection and the realization that one has a little too late. The truth that one wishes to have heard years ago. He hasn’t known you for very long, but what he does know is that you are a good person who is genuinely kind in even the most silent of ways. So when you became verbal with your thoughts, it was because you thought it was important to hear.
“I...I think you make a very good point, Y/N.” Steve admitted, gazing at you with eyes of a calm blue. “Would you mind...I don’t have a car and Dean’s motel is a few too many miles to walk...”
“Of course.”
Last time you checked, cops didn’t stay in sleazy motels and keep multiple shotguns and rounds of ammo on their beds in plain sight next to open containers of beer. That was something hunters did.
The tallest of the two was the one to open the door. His eyes widened and a surprised grin grew on his face. “Cas!” He pulled Steve into a hug before he could protest. “It’s good to have you back.” He looked over to you and squared his shoulders a little bit. “Who’s your friend?”
“Um...Y/N.” You answered slowly, glancing behind him to see the spread of news articles and leads on the table next to a laptop. Dean stood from the bed nearby, shock on his face. “I work at the Gas n’ Sip with...Steve...?”
The tall one looked between the two of you with a guilty expression. “Does she...?”
“No, I haven’t had the chance.” Steve/Cas explained.
Tall guy nodded and moved from the doorway. “Why don’t you both come in?”
The two of you entered in silence. Dean walked over and hugged Steve/Cas as well, thanking him for coming to help. Duffle bags sat open at the foot of each bed, and they had bags of salt and silver flasks full of what you assumed was holy water. You also saw the glint of a few knives buried under pairs of clothes. It literally screamed hunter in this room.
“You guys are so obvious that I am actually physically pained by it.” You stated, crossing your arms over your chest. All three men looked at you, slack jawed, not sure how to respond. Steve/Cas had his head tilted so far to the side, it could have fallen right off his shoulders.
“Excuse me?” Dean finally said in a defensive tone. “Who are you again?”
“Y/N. Unlike some people, I kept my name when I left the life.”
“You were a hunter?” The tall one exclaimed. You nodded, and he shook his head with a laugh. “Of course Cas finds a hunter friend. I’m Sam, by the way, it’s nice to meet you.” He held out his hand and you shook it, gears turning in your head.
“Sam...and Dean...Winchester?” You asked, looking between the two boys.
“Yep, in the flesh.” Dean did a mock bow.
“When I was hunting with my mom, we ran into John Winchester a lot. Talked a lot about you two. I only heard mumblings after I left about you guys.” You turned to Steve/Cas, who was still looking at you, but his expression shifted to one of awe. “So where do you come in? I may not have heard much, but I never heard of you before. Though that’s probably because Steve isn’t your real name, is it?”
Steve/Cas hesitated, trying to figure out what to say, how much to say. Y/N? A hunter? What are the odds?
“Busted.” Dean muttered under his breath. Sam whacked him in the arm and hissed at him to shut up.
“I’m a friend of theirs, we met years ago on a hunt and we just kind of...stuck together.” He explained slowly. It wasn’t exactly a lie...but it wasn’t the full truth, and he knew it. He couldn’t admit to something he wasn’t anymore. “My real name is Cas.”
“Cas...” The name felt peculiar on your tongue, but somehow it fit him better than Steve ever did. “Nice to meet you, Cas.” You held out your hand for him to shake with a half-smile on your face.
Cas felt a little bit of the weight fall off his shoulders as he took your hand and shook it, a faint grin on his face as well. “Likewise, Y/N.”
Dean took in the mood of the room, and then clapped his hands together. “Alright, now that everything is settled, let’s get down to business.”
“So did you know she was a hunter when you met her?” Dean asked Cas as they loaded up their bags. Sam had taken you to the car to help pack the supplies and double check everything.
“Nope.” Cas answered as he loaded his shotgun with rock-salt rounds. “I had no idea. She seems to have been out of the life for awhile, mentioned once she’s been moving around the area since 2005.”
Dean hummed. “That’s a long time. No wonder she didn’t recognize us at first. She’s never heard of anything we’ve done.” He zipped his duffle shut and gave his friend a serious look. “Is that why you lied to her? So that she didn’t have to fall into the complecated shitshow the life became since she left?”
Cas heaved a sigh and shoved his gun in his bag. “Somewhat, yes. I didn’t want to have to admit I was something that, currently, I am not. I’m not an angel anymore. I may never be an angel again. What’s the use explaining it to her? It’s easier for her to just keep on as if I’m just a normal human hunter.”
“But you’re not just a normal human hunter, Cas. You’ve hardly been a human and a hunter at the same time. You’ve shot a gun maybe once? You’ve maybe absorbed a good amount of knowledge from us, second hand, but how are you gonna keep this up?”
Cas zipped his bag shut forcefully and slung it over his shoulder. “I have to try.”
Dean sighed but relented. He just got his friend back, now was probably not the time to be lecturing him on morals. “Alright, we better head out then.”
Cas remembered why he hated car rides as the four of you rode to the sight of the ghost haunting. It felt like everything took ages, but it actually only took 30 minutes. It was a fairly easy salt and burn with minimum amount of ghostly attack. For you, getting back into the life was like riding a bike-- you never really forgot in the first place. But for Cas, it was almost as if he never learned to ride in his lifetime. Every time he shot at the spirit, he missed, and the kickback shook him to the core each time. You had to knock him out of the way of flying objects more than once. He was better when he lost he sawed-off and picked up an iron bar from next to the fireplace. He was probably going to have a bruise for a while, he could feel it starting to form.
Clean up was simple, since it was a salt-n-burn, and once everything was back to normal, the four of you got back in the car and headed back to the motel.
“So Cas,” You prompted, “Do you prefer using blades or guns to hunt? You did a lot better when you had that bar in your hands than the shotgun.”
Cas shifted a little sheepishly next to you in the Impala. He chose to ignore Dean’s pointed glare in the rearview mirror. “I have more experience with blades than guns. I can trust my skills more than I can trust a machine.”
You nodded. “I can respect that.”
“Cas was usually the brains and strategy behind our hunts.” Dean chimed in. “He didn’t see much real action out there.”
Sam chuckled a little bit. “Yeah, he’s a walking encyclopedia of extensive knowledge on everything except how to accurately fire a shotgun, apparently.”
That made you smile. “I’d love to pick your brain about obscure monsters sometime then.”
Something stirred in Cas’ stomach and made his heart quicken, but he wasn’t sure why. “I’d like that.”
Dean and Sam shared a silent but knowing look in the front seat as the sky continued to darken around them. Both of them wondered what would come of the two of you. Would Cas stay for good, or would he go back to the Gas n’ Sip with you? Would you come back to the life, after so many years, and convince Cas to come too? Sam didn’t mind a new face, especially one that was still that good at the job so many years later. Dean didn’t mind too much either, since a clear head is something the both of them needed to keep them in line.
When they pulled up to the motel, they began to haul in their things and unpack for the night. You and Cas hung back, the both of you considering your options. Cas thought of the advice you had given him earlier. He felt a little better, having helped with something as simple as a vengeful spirit, but he certainly didn’t think he had redeemed himself for that. There was a part of him that wanted to go back, and a part of him that was still terrified to. He looked over at you and saw clouds in your eyes as you took stock of your duffle. It seemed like you were thinking the same things.
“Penny for your thoughts?” Cas asked, nudging you with his elbow. It made you smile a little through your concentration.
“It’s been awhile since I’ve worked a case with other people, and I forgot how much I liked having people to trust and to rely on.” You explained quietly. “A lot of people would count me lucky, being out of the life for as long as I have been. But I can’t help but feel like I ran like a coward all those years ago, and that I needed to stay. I’ve had that thought before, picking up solo cases when things came into town, but it never felt this strong before, the pull to come back.” You looked at Cas in the light of the streetlamps. “Should I go back?”
There was something in your expression that Cas had never seen before, vulnerability mixed with loss and guilt, uncertainty topping it all off. He was suddenly properly struck, for the first time that day, with the realization at you were a complex human being with more sides and experiences than he was lead to believe. “If there is one thing I learned in my time in the life, it’s that we have the free will to make whatever choices we want to make. If you want to go back and give it another shot, go ahead, because you still have the ability to leave again if it gets to that point. Even if you aren’t sure at first if it’s the right decision, go with it anyway, because you can change your mind later.”
Your eyes got a little misty, listening to his words. There was a wisdom to Cas that he hid well when you knew him as Steve. It was always diluted when you spoke in the store, now it was shining for all to see, and it gave you a comfort you had never known. “Would you go back with me?”
He smiled gently at the request. “If you’ll have me.”
You nodded and lugged your duffle off the trunk and onto your shoulder. “Let’s go celebrate our first successful hunt then, shall we?”
It never really occurred to you how fast time flew by when you lived a life as a hunter. Working in the Gas n’ Sip made everyday pass by painfully slow, seeing the same people and doing the same menial tasks day in and day out. But getting back in the life made time speed past without a second thought. Something new needed ganking in a new place every few weeks, with breaks in between for the four of you to hang out in the bunker or hustle some pool at local bars (you were so good at it that Dean didn’t know how to process it for a while, but now he uses it to his advantage). You got used to Sam and Dean’s bickering, and they got used to your cleaning every weekend and need for a movie marathon night about once a month. They showed you new tips and tricks for living in the life, and you showed them the better aspects of life that are worth living for.
You and Sam would nerd out over the old books in the library of the bunker. Dean would debate which food is the best as you made dinners for the group. But Cas...you’d stay up with Cas for hours on end some nights, talking about past hunts and different ages in history (Sam wasn’t kidding: Cas held 5 million libraries in his head), and just the randomest life things that either of you stumbled upon. Whatever you knew of him from the Gas n’ Sip only grew, and the two of you became practically inseparable. Of course, you’d get into arguments every now and then, mostly following a stressful hunt (and a needlessly reckless action one of you took to keep the other safe). It would usually simmer down and you’d both just be happy the other was alive at all. A year or so went by like this, and no matter what the life threw at you, you never regretted getting back in. You wondered if it was because Cas came with you. It occurred to you one day that you’d go anywhere with him.
And that was the day he wouldn’t let you.
“What do you mean I can’t come?” You pressed as Cas packed his duffle. “Is it because you think I can’t handle myself?”
“No!” He exclaimed, turning to you and sighing. He placed his hands gently on your shoulders. “No, Y/N, I promise it’s nothing like that.”
“Then what is it like?”
“Sam and Dean found a lead pertaining to an old case of mine. It was...” he took a heavy breath, “It was the case where I caused so much pain and hurt that I ran in the first place. It involves things you’ve never seen and never fought before. It’s dangerous for you to go, so you need to stay here.”
“But I can help! I can research! I can be backup at the motel!” You countered. “I want to help.”
Cas gave you a sad smile, guilt building in his chest. “You can help best by staying here, and staying safe. Knowing you’re out of harm’s way is going to do more than any backup ever could.”
You huffed a sigh that made a few stray hairs flutter around your face. “Fine,” You grumbled, “I'll stay here.”
Cas squeezed your shoulders. “Thank you. I promise to come back in one piece.”
“You better, or so help me, I will bring you back and kill you myself.” You warned, wagging a finger in his face. He chuckled at the action. “Don't laugh at me, I mean it.”
Cas shook his head and felt the familiar sensation around his heart that happened when you acted this way, all fiercely protective and concerned. It was extremely endearing. “I know you mean it, that's why I'll make sure you don't have to make good on your threats.”
That made you smile. “Good.”
“Time to go Cas!” Dean shouted down the hall.
“Coming!” The both of you replied.
Sam, Dean, and Cas stood by the Impala as it idled outside the bunker. You insisted on seeing them off, and they knew better than to protest.
“We'll be fine, Y/N, we promise.” Sam assured you as he gave you a hug goodbye.
“You keep a level head out there, and don't bicker with your brother.” Dean laughed, and you turned your head towards him. “Same goes to you too, mister.”
Sam chuckled as he let you go, and you went to hug Dean as well. He gave you a solid pat on the back and held you firm. “Don’t forget to stock up on some pie for when we get back.”
You pulled away and laughed. “You come back safe and sound, and I'll have one just for you.”
He flashed a wide grin. “You rock.”
Flipping your hair semi-dramatically, you responded with a haughty, “I know.”
The brothers walked over to their respective car doors, leaving just Cas to say farewell to. The two of you said nothing at first, just holding each other's gaze and trying to figure out what to say. Taking a deep breath, you moved in to hug Cas as tight as you could. Cas held you just as firmly, closing his eyes and trying to memorize this feeling, this emotion, before he left. His heart was beating rapidly and he hoped you couldn't feel it jumping out of his chest. You felt like a helium balloon was being inflated in your chest cavity, and filed this moment away in your memories to keep safe. The two of you held each other as if the world didn't exist, and Dean and Sam shared a knowing look from the car, both of them wondering the same thing: will things stay the same, if the mission goes off without a hitch?
Finally pulling back, but not letting go just yet, you looked up into Cas’ blue eyes and said, “I hope you find whatever it is you're looking for on this hunt, Cas, be it revenge or closure or forgiveness, whatever you need most.”
The sides of his mouth turned up slightly, feeling a mixture of comfort at the sentiment and sadness at the context. “Thank you, Y/N. I'll be back soon.”
And with that, the two of you let your arms fall to your sides. Cas picked up his duffle from the ground beside him and walked over to the Impala. The three of them opened their doors and got into the car, and Cas turned to wave out the back window.
“Are you sure about this?” Dean asked carefully as you became a spec in his mirrors.
Cas took a deep breath, and turned forward in the backseat. “Yes.” But his answer didn't hide the tone of fear in his voice.
Castiel stood in his suit, tie, and trench coat, staring at his hands. He flexed them, balled them into fists, turned them over, inspecting every inch. He took a long, deep breath, and let it hiss out slowly. He closed his eyes and let the wind play at his face as he felt the world turn beneath his feet for the first time in ages. Angel radio hummed in his ears, indistinguishable chatter mostly, and he opened the wings invisible to the world, spreading them wide and proud, even if it stung. Castiel was back, whole once more.
“Everything okay, Cas?” Sam asked as he leaned against the car with his brother.
Castiel turned to them and nodded. “Yes, everything is as it should be.”
Dean looked his friend up and down, not sure whether to be happy his friend was back at his prime, or worried that this could mean a factory reset on his humanity and all the things he ever experienced in the last year or so. “Good to have you back, buddy.” He walked over to the trunk and swung it open, grabbing their things. “Let’s head in.”
The sound of the bunker door screeching open made you bolt upright from your couch in the den you had made out of one of the spare bedrooms. Instinct made you want to reach for the gun hidden behind a few books, but once you heard Dean, you leapt up and ran down the hall.
“You got my pie, Y/N?” He shouted from the steps as the three of them descended into the front room.
“In the kitchen!” You yelled in response, practically sliding into the table and chairs, beaming at them. “You made it back!”
“We told you we would!” Sam said, laughing and shaking his head.
Castiel, however, stood mid-way down the steps, jaw slack with awe. He had never seen you as an angel did a human, but what he viewed before him took his breath away. Your soul seemed to shine brighter than any he had ever seen, practically gleaming from your eyes. He had known you were beautiful before, but when he saw the soul within, he knew. The feelings he experienced as a human never changed, they became enhanced with his returned sense of the world through an angel’s eyes. Castiel shook himself out of his trance and continued down the steps.
There was something different about Cas. Not just the new wardrobe, but the air about him just seemed...new, in a sense. Or maybe it was just your relief at seeing him come back in one piece. You didn’t care. He reached the bottom of the stairs and met you halfway, scooping you up in a hug. The material of his trench coat was new but welcoming, and you buried your face in it as he held you close.
“You seem different.” You remarked after a moment, “What’s with the wardrobe change?”
Cas stalled for a moment, as if time froze around him. What do I say? What do I do? Lie? Tell the truth? Run? “I needed it to go undercover and, well, I got used to it I guess.” He stammered. “Do you like it?”
You tilted your head to the side and stepped back out of his arms. You gave him a once over, taking in the suit, the shoes, the trench coat and the tie. It was very unlike the everyday clothes you were used to seeing him in, and it didn’t phase you in the slightest. “I love it, you wear it well, Cas.” His smile was wider than you had ever seen. He was radiating brightness, the room seemed brighter now that he was here. But that couldn’t be possible. Surely it was your imagination. “I guess you found what you were looking for, huh?”
Castiel looked into your eyes, seeing close up the light that sparkled within them from your soul, and felt his heart beat rapidly in his chest, just as it did less than a week before. “I guess I did.”
The both of you held the stare and came to the same simultaneous realization: I have feelings for this person.
The both of you came to the same follow up realization: uh-oh
A few weeks went by and the two of you kept things as they normally were, but with a 80% increase in blushing and 75% increase in gazing at one with the other absolutely oblivious to the action.
And, frankly, Sam and Dean were sick of it.
One night, Sam was fed up--more so than usual--and decided to confront Castiel about his secret. They had just finished a movie marathon and the two of you had cuddled for the entirety of the night, you using Castiel’s trench coat as a blanket and Castiel holding you close, as if that’s where you were meant to be.
The two of you were basically dating, and it was time to make it official, in his opinion.
“So, Cas,” Sam began as they cleared up the mess in the den, “when are you gonna tell Y/N?”
Castiel nearly dropped the half-empty bowl of popcorn and tripped over the coffee table. “I-I-uh- tell Y/N what?”
“Oh, I don’t know, that you’re an angel of the lord, that you have feelings for her...” Sam gave Cas a pointed look that made it plain and clear: he was busted.
“Sam, I can’t-”
“-Don’t hit me with that crap, Cas, you can and you ought to.” Sam sighed and sat down on the sofa chair next to the couch. Cas sat along with him, feeling for a moment like a child about to be lectured by a parent. Sam regained his composure and continued. “Look, first off, you and Y/N are amazing for each other. You click in a way that I have never seen in any couple, ever. You can’t just let that pass you by. But, you also can’t keep lying to her and pretending to be human. You not only risk losing her friendship, but if you keep hiding it during hunts, it could put her in danger.”
Castiel huffed and looked at his hands, sorrow clouding his eyes. “I know. I feel awful for lying for this long, especially now that my grace has been restored. But I’m so...” he almost didn’t want to admit it, “...afraid, Sam. What if she thinks I’m some sort of...freak or monster? She has never dealt with angels before, and she hasn’t heard of my past deeds or mistakes. What if this changes everything?”
Sam pressed his lips together into a thin line. This was a tough set of questions, and the truth was that Sam wasn’t entirely sure how to answer them. But he tried nonetheless. “She knew you when you were nobody. She was friends with you as Steve the gas station employee, she didn’t even get mad when she found out you were in the life and hid it from her. From the year and a half that I’ve known her, Y/N is an understanding person who doesn’t care about all that complicated past crap. She just cares that you are a good person who does what you can to help people.”
That made Castiel smile through his worries. “That is part of what made me fall for her.”
“Now, there is a chance she’ll freak out a tiny bit at the fact that you’re, you know, a godly warrior of heaven and all that.” Sam warned. “But give her time and she’ll be just like normal. You can’t keep lying to her, Castiel. If it comes from anyone other than you, she’ll feel betrayed and never forgive you.”
Castiel sat for a long while, staring at nothing in particular, lost in thought. He needed to come clean, about his past, about his state of being, and about his feelings. All of it terrified him. He shoved it down and away, and gave Sam a strong nod. “You’re right. I’ll tell her tomorrow.”
Sam grinned and gave his friend a pat on the back. “Perfect. Don’t back down, okay? Or I’ll do it myself, and that will not be pretty.”
Castiel took a shaky breath and smiled uneasily. This was going to be the longest night of Castiel’s celestial life.
-
“You know, Y/N, if you and Cas want the place to yourselves one night, all you gotta do is ask.” Dean hinted in a knowing voice as the two of you walked down through the bunker and to the wing where the four of you slept.
You slugged him so hard in the shoulder that he actually winced. “Knock it off, Winchester. It isn’t like that.”
He hissed a painful breath, but continued. “Oh, c’mon, you two are crazy about each other! It’s as blatant as the sun rising in the damn sky at ungodly hours of the morning! I’m surprised I haven’t walked in on something at this point.”
Your face burned with discomfort and embarrassment, and you clenched your hands into fists at your sides. “Cas doesn’t like me like that, Dean, he wouldn’t. That is never going to happen. It can’t happen, not between us.”
Dean chuckled and smiled slyly. “Never say never, Y/N. It could start as a simple movie night, and one thing could lead to another and the next thing you know-”
“-I’M ACE!” You shouted in a growl of frustrated anger. The two of you stopped in front of your rooms, you trying to control your rage and Dean trying to comprehend what you just said. Suddenly aware that two other beings could be walking down the hall at any moment, you grumbled and grabbed Dean by the wrist, dragging him into your room and shutting the door.
“Pause, rewind, play: you’re what?” Dean asked, concern and confusion growing as you paced back and forth before him.
You stopped your nervous habit and clapped your hands together. “Okay, this might be difficult for you to understand. I’m going to take this slow, and if you are confused, say so, okay?”
“Okay.” He said with a firm nod. “Fire away.”
“Sexual attraction is when you feel a want to do...things...with a person.”
Dean gave you a perplexed look, but answered. “Yes...”
“For a lot of people, that’s an everyday thing. That’s normal. They don’t give it a second thought. It’s like when you ask someone who their celebrity crush is, and they respond with someone they want to...do stuff with.”
“But with you...”
You wrung your hands together and bit your lip. “For me...that’s not really...a thing...”
Dean blinked for a moment, then walked over to your bed and sat at the edge, putting his elbows on his knees and his head in his hands. “Okay, elaborate.”
“There is this spectrum of people called asexual. Asexuality is where you don’t feel sexual attraction to anyone, like at all.” You repeated carefully. You memorized it long ago.
“So if you see a hot guy, you don’t immediately want to get in his pants?” Dean asked, a bit of shock in his voice.
Your face burned a little. “Yeah, something like that. It’s lack of attraction, and it’s different for everyone. Some people are sex positive and ace, some people are sex repulsed and ace. The only thing that matters is the lack of sexual attraction, kind of like if I see you as a brother, that’s a lack of romantic attraction towards you. Anyway, there is this subgroup under asexual, called demisexual. That is actually what I identify as, but since it’s under the umbrella of ace, sometimes it’s easier to use ace.”
“So what does that second one mean? Demisexual?”
“Demisexuality is when you feel sexual attraction when you have a strong emotional bond with the person. Again, it’s different for everyone. For me, I need to know the person for a while, be comfortable with them and have a strong emotional bond to even consider any of...that.” You ran your hands through your hair as you spoke. “Even then, the sexual attraction is only towards that one person, and it takes being in a relationship for a bit of time to form that, if it forms at all.”
Dean felt as if a lightbulb had lit up over his head. “You think because you don’t want sex in the way that most people do, Cas won’t want to be in a relationship with you?”
You hugged your arms around yourself and nodded solemnly. “I know relationships are more than just sex, but for a lot of the people I’ve met and had an interest in, that’s been a deal breaker. They try to seduce me regardless and the more they try, the more it doesn’t work, and I’m worried Cas will see me like they did, like a freak or something. I like Cas a lot, Dean. I care about him so much, as a person and a friend, and I really want to see if a relationship would work. But he’s a human guy, and I’m terrified I’ll lose him as a friend if things go wrong.”
Dean took a good, long, hard look at you, and for once, he tried to think of his life without the countless one night stands. He tried to imagine looking at everyone and not feeling that attraction, as if they were simply people, and not sexual objects, even if they were appealing to the eye. It was a hard thing for him to do. Then he imagined living like that all his life thinking that was normal, but being told by friends, by romantic interests, and by society, that it was wrong to be that way, that is was unnatural, that he was broken or a freak. That was...unimaginably difficult. Then he imagined having all of that nagging in the back of his mind as he looked at someone he really wanted to be in a relationship with, someone he wanted to spend his life with, growing and learning together, and being petrified with terror that the very person they hold dear could turn around and say the very same things.
“That...” Dean shook his head, struggling to find the right words. “Y/N, I can’t even begin to understand what you must go through. Not completely, anyway, because I can’t know a life I’ve never lived. But I can empathize with you, and what you described sounds like hell. Just because you don’t feel a type of attraction that other people do, that doesn’t make you a freak or broken or anything, understand?” He was giving you an ernest look, as if he wanted to wipe away the past with his affirmations now, but knew it wasn’t that simple. “But Cas...he’s not a normal human guy. In all my time with him, he has never been like that towards anyone. In fact, the one time I took him to a strip club, it failed miserably.” Dean chuckled at the memory. “My point is that Cas is not going to care about that. Okay, wait, he’ll care in the sense that it’s not a deal breaker to him, and whatever you want or don’t want to do is fine by him. Cas is a good listener, he’ll understand, and he’ll be respectful on top of being his kind, dorky, protective self.”
A smile broke through the anxiety and fear that was churning within you. “Yeah, he is pretty dorky and protective, huh? That’s part of why I like him.”
Dean smiled gently as you began to relax a little. “I meant what I said, by the way. None of that makes you any of the things you’ve been told in the past. Y/N, you are an awesome person and a kick-ass hunter, and your attraction of the sexual nature--or lack thereof--doesn’t change any of that.” You couldn’t stop the water that welled up in your eyes as you brought a hand up to hide the slight quiver to your lips. “Oh, come here.” Dean stood up and ushered you over, giving you a big bear hug and letting the emotions pass. Normally he wasn’t one for chick-flick moments, but he was okay if it meant his friend felt better.
“Thank you, Dean.” You whispered into his shoulder. “I needed that.”
“Don’t mention it, kid. If anyone ever gives you hell about that again, I will beat their ass into next Tuesday.”
You gave him a slightly touched, yet slightly offended look. “One, we’re within a year in age difference, so don't call me kid. Two, I can beat some ass fairly well on my own, thank you very much.”
Dean rolled his eyes mockingly. “Fine. But I’m whooping everyone from your past that gave you hell, deal?”
“Deal.”
Dean chuckled and made his way to the door, but before he opened it, he turned and said, “Promise me you’ll ask Cas out tomorrow, and tell him about all that? It’s better to discuss that ahead of time as opposed to later down the road.”
You took a deep, cleansing breath. “Okay, I will.”
Dean cracked a grin. “Night Y/N. Sleep well.”
You pressed your lips together in a tight line, and flopped onto your bed. This was going to be the longest night of your life.
“How’d you sleep last night?” Cas asked the next morning, handing you your coffee exactly the way you liked it.
“Well, thank you.” You responded, sipping your coffee and hoping it would calm the churning within your gut. “Thanks again for letting me steal your coat the other night.”
Castiel chuckled to himself and fiddled with the coffee cup in front of him. He didn’t need coffee anymore, since becoming an angel once more, but he kept it up for appearances. “You can steal my coat anytime.”
Crimson spread over your cheeks and you looked down at the table. “Noted.”
Silence stretched thick between the two of you, both having something to say and neither having the guts to say it. Sam and Dean came in a few minutes later and rekindled the awkward conversation. Dean read articles in the paper while Sam scoured the internet for new cases. They threw options back and forth at each other while you got up to start breakfast, and it took a good 5 minutes for the both of them to realize that something had changed.
Dean looked at you, keeping you back turned to the group, busying yourself with your cooking. Sam looked at Castiel, hyperfocused on the half-empty coffee cup on the table before him, not looking at anyone or anything other than that.
Dean and Sam shared a look of complete hopelessness, and then got to work.
Sam scooted his chair closer to Cas’ spot at the table. “Have you told her?” He whispered, shooting a glance at you and Dean.
“No.” Cas whispered back.
“Cas! You said you would!”
He scowled at Sam. “I can’t just look at Y/N and say, ‘My name is Castiel and I am an angel of the Lord’, it isn’t that simple.”
“Yes it is!” Sam protested is a slightly louder and more frustrated whisper. “That is literally what you did to Dean and Bobby!”
“And that got me shot and stabbed!”
Sam opened his mouth to respond, but closed it in exasperation. He wasn’t wrong there. Sam ran a hand over his face. “You are impossible.” He grumbled.
Dean stood next to you at the stove, handing you ingredients as you needed them. “So, did ya spill yet?”
“No.”
“Y/N!” Dean chided. “We talked about this!”
“It’s not something I can just blurt out with no sort of warning or explanation!”
“That’s exactly what you did to me!”
“Yeah! And it took an extremely long and in depth conversation before you actually understood what I was telling you! It will be even more difficult to explain it to Cas and follow it up with, ‘but I like you so are you still willing to date me?’ That can’t just be dropped like it’s nothing!”
Dean clenched his jaw and sighed hard through his nose as he passed the pepper for the eggs. “You are impossible.”
Dean and Sam both walked over to the doorway of the kitchen, a scheming look in their eyes.
“Y/N won’t say anything?” Sam asked.
Dean shook his head. “Cas either, apparently?”
Sam sighed and let his shoulders drop. “It’s hopeless, he’s too scared of what she’ll think of his angelic background and all the things that entails.”
“And Y/N is afraid of what Cas will think of her when she tells him she’s ace.”
Sam furrowed his brow. “Y/N is ace?”
“Yup. Demisexual, specifically.”
Sam looked over at you and nodded. “That actually doesn’t surprise me.”
“Wait, you know what that is?” Dean asked, eyebrows raised in surprise.
He simply nodded once. “Yeah. I scour the web constantly. You read up on things that way.”
Dean blinked a few times, but dismissed any questions he may have had. “How are we gonna get them to confess?”
Sam shrugged. “We tried being subtle and giving them a nudge in the right direction...”
Dean pondered the options for a moment. “...I guess we need to be obvious and give ‘em a shove instead?”
Sam pursed his lips. “I don’t have a better plan.”
Dean strode over to the stove, where you were portioning out the scrambled eggs, and took the spatula from your hand. “Hey!” You exclaimed as he grabbed your wrist and walked you out of the kitchen. “What the hell are you doing, Winchester?”
“Helping.” He stated, no other explanation given.
Sam, simultaneously, took Castiel by the shoulder and hauled him out of his chair, following behind you and Dean. Castiel struggled under his grip, “Sam! Unhand me!” He demanded.
“Nope. I gave you the chance, now we do this the hard way.”
They marched the two of you through the bunker and into the den, closing and locking the door behind you. “You can come out when you’ve both spilled the beans!” Dean shouted.
Castiel balled his hands into fists and contemplated smiting both of the brothers from here. He refrained as you ran up to the door and began pounding on the sturdy oak.
“Let us out, you assholes!” You roared through the door. “You can’t keep us here like prisoners!”
“Wanna bet?” You heard Sam tease. The anger in you flared again and it summoned a new bout of attacks.
Castiel watched with turmoil in his mind and his heart. He was stuck between a rock and a hard place. Tell you the truth or be stuck in there for as long as Sam and Dean deem worthy. Knowing them, they wouldn’t be relenting anytime soon.
The rage you felt had a short half-life, and began to diminish as rapidly as it had began. Your fistfalls slowed and softened to taps, and finally your hands stilled. This was hopeless. The boys were more stubborn than a room full of oxes. They wanted an outcome and they were gonna get it, no matter the means.
The both of you seemed to accept your fate at the same time. Turning to face Cas, you took a deep breath and said, in unison, “There’s something I need to tell you.” It caused both of you to laugh nervously.
“You first.” Cas insisted.
“No, it’s okay, you first.” You assured him.
He smiled, noticing for the millionth time how endearing you were. “Same time then?”
You bit your lip, terror rising up in your gut. “Okay. On three.”
“One.” Cas began.
“Two.” You continued.
In a jumble of rushed words, the both of you spoke. “I’m an angel of the Lord.” “I’m demisexual.”
Cas tilted his head. “What?”
You blinked at him, mind spinning. “I’m sorry, repeat that please?”
Cas took a hesitant step towards you, speaking slowly and clearly. “My full name is Castiel, and I am an angel of the lord.”
Still blinking, you let your mind process. “Angels...are a thing? And you...are one?”
Castiel could only nod his affirmation.
“How long...I thought you were human...I’ve stitched you up, and it took weeks to heal...I don’t understand...” Confusion began to cloud in your eyes and you ran a hand through your hair.
“I lost my grace--what makes an angel, an angel--before I came to work at the Gas n’ Sip. It was stolen from me by someone I trusted. I thought we were going to help with our plan, but I was wrong and manipulated into serving an ulterior motive. When I met you, I was human. When we first met up with Sam and Dean, I was human then too. It wasn’t until a few weeks ago, we got that lead, and-”
“-You came back an angel.” It slipped out as the gears in your head began smoking. “The wardrobe change, the lights shining brighter, the new air about you...you had restored your grace.”
“Exactly. I no longer need to eat or sleep, I heal myself and heal others, I see and hear things most mortals can’t perceive.”
You stood on your tiptoes to look behind Castiel. “I don't see any wings. And how in the hell are you as young as you are, if you’re an angel? How are you even here?”
“This is a vessel I am occupying. Years ago I took residence in this form to meet Dean and assist him in fighting a very large evil. He died a long time ago, his soul is peacefully residing in heaven. It’s just me now. My real form will blind you if you ever lay eyes on it, and my wings are not visible to humans unless I allow them to be, and even then it is a mere shadow.”
You hugged your arms around yourself, mind reeling. All this time, he’s been an angel, or a fallen one at that, and he never told me? “Prove it.”
Castiel pressed his lips together into a thin line, picking up on the hurt in your voice. Without a word, he bowed his head and closed his eyes, lifting his wings and spreading them to be seen. The lights flickered and you swore you heard thunder rumble softly as the outline of large, black wings appeared on the back wall. An instinctive gasp left your mouth and you threw up a hand to cover it, taking a reflexive step back.
Castiel snapped his head up and the lights returned to normal. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to frighten you.” He explained apologetically, taking a step towards you. “I won’t hurt you.”
You looked him over, noting the expression of guilt and pain on his face and the half outstretched arms, not sure whether to comfort or refrain. He looked the same as ever, but deep inside you, it was like the wool was lifted from your eyes. The knowledge, the lack of experience with firearms, the fierce protectiveness, the peculiarity that had been there since he introduced himself to you as Steve--it was due to being a whole different being other than human. Something that existed long before and would be around long after the human race. Something with unfathomable power, both to repair and destroy. A being that wore a trench coat and liked movies with a happy ending.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” You asked quietly.
The sorrow on his face grew as he hung his head in shame. “I hated lying to you, but at the time we met, I was human with no hope of ever returning to my former state. When we joined up with Sam and Dean, I wanted to spare you the details of my past mistakes, the complications of the life that even the brothers were avoiding. When I regained my grace, I...” He let out a harsh breath and shook his head. “No, I didn’t tell you because I didn’t want you to see me as a monster or freak after knowing me to be human for so long. I didn’t want this to change anything, and I was so afraid you would see me and see the awful things my brethren have done that I just...couldn’t say otherwise.”
A sad smile slowly spread across your face. “Castiel,” You began, trying his true name on for size, “I understand why you hid this from me, but I promise you that I will never see you as a monster. I don’t care what you have done, or what the other angels have done. I have seen nothing but a good heart and good intentions and the perseverance to see them both through since the day I met you, be it with something as small as refilling the slushie machine to keeping your friends safe from werewolves. The angel thing is gonna take some getting used to, I’ll admit that, but to me, it’s just another thing I’m learning about you.”
Castiel could have fallen to his knees from the weight being lifted from his shoulders. His smile of relief was wide and the lights in the room seemed, once again, to shine brighter along with it. “Thank you, Y/N. I promise, I will tell you anything you wish to know from this point onward.”
You mirrored his grin. “I will keep that in mind.” Realizing it was your turn to spill the beans, you absentmindedly scraped at the floor with your shoe. “I, uh, guess it’s my turn to explain, huh?”
“If you don’t feel comfortable, you don’t have to-”
“-I have to, Castiel, it’s important.” You insisted, cutting off his well-meaning words. It was now or never, so you spit it out as fast as you could. “I am demisexual. I don’t feel sexual attraction unless I have a strong emotional bond with the person, and I’ve known them for awhile, and I’ve been in a relationship with them for some time, and even then there is a chance that I don’t feel the attraction at all. I didn’t want to tell you because for a while it wasn’t important, but I really like you, Cas. I like you and I want to be more than friends, but I was so terrified you were-” You laughed in spite of yourself, “-like every human guy I’ve met and would see me as a freak or broken when I explained. I didn’t want this to change anything.”
Castiel took a few slow, steady steps towards you, and wrapped you in to a hug. One hand rubbed your back and the other smoothed over your hair and you held him tight. “Nothing would ever make me think, even for the most fleeting of moments, that you are broken, Y/N.” He said gently. “Being an angel, I don’t function the same way that humans do. I don’t care about any of that. What I care about is you being happy and feeling like you are loved. And even as a human, I felt the same way. Does that make me broken?”
You pulled back slightly to meet his gaze. “No, it doesn’t.”
“Then why should you think that of yourself?”
You were speechless. Castiel was looking at you like you were the brightest star in the sky, and it dawned on you that he gave you that look all the time. “So, are you saying...you like me too?”
“Yes, Y/N, I like you very much. I have for a while, but it took me some time to realize what it was. Human emotions...I’m still learning about them. My time as a mortal gave me some insight that stayed with me when I regained my grace. I needed to tell you the truth about who I was before I could ask you if you would like to...what’s the phrase...be my girlfriend?”
Your head moved before your words could escape with them. “I’d love to, Castiel. I would absolutely love to.”
Castiel felt his heart swell in his chest. Overjoyed, he placed a kiss to your forehead and pulled you back into an embrace. You held him tight in return, feeling accepted and loved and happier than you had ever felt in your life.
Castiel pulled back suddenly, concern etched in his features. “Wait, was that okay?”
You cocked your head to the side. “What, the forehead kiss? Yeah, Cas, that was fine. I don’t mind that.”
He let out a sigh of relief. “Good. I want you to tell me if anything ever makes you uncomfortable, okay? Promise me you’ll communicate that with me? I don’t want to push you in any way, accidentally or otherwise.”
“I promise, Castiel. It means the world to me to hear you say that.”
He tucked a stray hair behind your ear and looked into your eyes, shimmering from the radiance of your soul. “I’d give you the world if I could, Y/N, but for now, I can get you something better. What do you want to eat along with the movies we are about to watch?”
A puzzled look spread over your face, but you couldn’t help the grin that threatened to break through. “Pizza?”
Castiel stepped back from you a few paces. “Wise choice.” Before your very eyes, Castiel disappeared and a ruffling noise filled the room. Before you could freak out, with another blink of your eyes, he returned with a pizza in one hand and two sodas in the other. “Cherry or Grape?”
“Cherry.” You answered in awe. “What...how did you...you can teleport?”
Castiel set the food and sodas on the coffee table and removed his trench coat, walking back over to you and draping it over your shoulders. “Something like that. Now, shall we take advantage of the fact that we now have the den to ourselves? I believe we have a few movies to cross off my list.”
Pushing yourself up by your tiptoes, you placed a quick kiss on Castiel’s lips. “If you’ll have me.”
Spn ship please? I’m 5’4” & my pfp is me. I’m kind of a hopeless romantic. My main interests are art, music, and forensic science! I’m straightforward and logical. I spend most of my time at marching band (I play 5 instruments btw) or at a coffee shop. I make friends surprisingly easily, I’m an ambivert. I’d usually never say it but I need a lot of attention. I’m always tired due to insomnia. I have a bad habit of not being able to take anything seriously/turning everything into a joke. Thanks!
Thank you so much, @apatheticbutaesthetic for the request. :) Here you go.
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Character I ship you with,
Castiel
Word count: 753
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Castiel never slept. He didn’t need to. But everyone elsearound him did and that made him feel the loneliest during the nights. He’dwalk around the bunker aimlessly, sometimes reading in the library or settlingon a movie to watch. Other times, he’d check on everyone despite being told theextent of how creepy that was.
When you moved into the bunkerafter Sam and Dean rescued your people from your post-apocalyptic dimension,Castiel took a special liking towards you. He found you extremely interestingand despite his usual confusion regarding human sense of humour, he actually understoodyour jokes and appreciated them. He’d take the time to talk to you for hours onend about whatever you wanted because he enjoyed listening to you talk and wasfascinated by how you saw the things in the world. And your art always stunnedhim. He’d be shocked by how life-like your pictures looked. In short, he alwaysfound an excuse to spend time with you and neither of you were complaining.
You bobbed your head along to the relaxing music playingthrough your headphones as your brush created wonders on your canvas. It was anadded bonus that your inspiration was in every sense of the word, divine. You didn’teven need him to be there. It was as if you had memorised every detail andevery feature well enough to recreate his image perfectly. The soft blue eyesand their piercing stare were a pleasure to conjure on your canvas. You softlyhummed the mesmerizing melody, piercing the silence that engulfed your room.
As Castiel walked down the hallway he heard the soft butangelic singing coming from your room. It was very late. He wondered what youwere doing up at these hours. He slowly peeped in, from the doorway, trying tosee if you were okay. Upon seeing that you were simply painting, he knocked onyour open door to get your attention. You heard the knock disrupt the steadybeat of your music and turned.
“Oh, hey Castiel. Come in.”
“Hello, Y/N.” He slowly made his way inside and stood besideyou, silently observing your painting. When he realised what he was looking at,he reddened and felt utterly awkward.
“That’s… a beautiful picture, Y/N. You truly have wonderoustalent.” He managed to get out. He stared at the picture, or rather himself,seated in a lush garden, surrounded by soft white glowing light. He lookedcompletely at home in such an environment and he felt you’d accentuated hislove for nature quite a bit.
At that comment you felt something bubble up inside of you. “Thankyou, Cas. That means a lot.” You bashfully replied, before going back to thepainting, not wanting to meet his gaze, for fear of saying something stupid orlame and ruining the moment.
“Why aren’t you asleep? It’s really late. I wouldn’t advisecompromising on your sleep.” He said, looking at you with concern.
“Sleep is for the weak.” You mumbled, jokingly and you couldimagine him furrowing his eyebrows in confusion. You sighed and turned aroundto face him. “Sometimes, Cas, I find it difficult to fall asleep. So… I try to occupymyself with something when I have that difficulty.” You shrugged, not wantingto make it a big deal. Castiel thought for a bit, processing what you said andthen looked down at you, with that same blue stare you were painting.
“Maybe I can help.” He suggested, extending his hands foryou to take. You suspiciously placed your hands in his, wondering what he was upto. He led you towards your bed, never taking his gaze away from you andclimbed under the covers, waiting for you to do the same. You softly rolledyour eyes with a hint of a smile playing at your mouth and followed suit. Hetentatively wrapped his arms around you, letting you rest your head on hischest. He kicked his shoes off and got comfortable. You felt him gently strokeyour arm, which made you feel relaxed and unwound.
He suddenly felt a little uncomfortable and asked, “I hopethis isn’t too…”, but he didn’t finish because he heard your relaxed breathingas you nestled closer to him in your sleep. He smiled softly at the innocentbut tired look on your face and gingerly placed his lips on your forehead. “Pleasantdreams, Y/N”, whispering against your skin. He could really get used to this.And so could you.
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A/N:- Sorry for the cheese and the delay. I hope you like it. I know it took me too long. But thanks for requesting and reading. :)
Characters: Dean, Reader, Sam and Cas (No pairing completely platonic)
Word Count: 3.3K
A/N: So I took some liberties with this request. I couldn’t see Sam getting angry with her so I had Dean channel his inner John. This is not John Winchester positive.
Warnings: Some angst and yelling, cussing, Dean is an ass to the Reader.
Request: Hi I really like 18th Birthday Gift you did a amazing job on it. I was wondering if I can make another request. Where the reader lives with Sam and Dean in the bunker and after a rough hunt the boys yell at her because she messed up or something and she end up crying. So when the boys are not paying attention or are sleeping she packs her stuff up and sneaks out. When the boys realize they go looking for her but end up needing Castiel to help them find her. Lots of fluff. @deansupernatural67cas
Two weeks on the road, the whole car was cranky and just wanted to go home. Dean had blared the music while Sam was searching for something on his laptop, (Y/N) was just staring out the window allowing the world to fly by.
“So get this.” Sam muttered.
“Oh no, no, no. Dude, we just finished two back to back hunts. Can’t we just get a day off?” Dean complained before Sam said another word.
(Y/N) popped her head up from her day dream to listen to Sam knowing Dean’s protests were falling on deaf ears. “Really! I can’t believe you Dean. People are dying and you just want to get back to your bed.” Sam guilted him.
“Yeah, yeah, I do.” Dean called out.
(Y/N) placed her hand on Sam’s shoulder, “We’ll take the case.” With a few simple words she effectively ended their argument.
“Ok” Dean grumbled. “What’s the case?”
There had been two murders of some local girls that had been abducted from a bar in town. When the authorities found the bodies there were large bite marks to their necks and they had been drained of all their blood. The three hunters knew right way what had caused this and it wasn’t an animal attack.
The first place they checked out was the bar, (Y/N) flirted with the bartender. “I’m looking for my friends. They like to have a real, real good time. I lost my cell phone and I had to get a new one but I lost all my numbers.” She laid it on thick and he was buying every bit of it too.
“There’s a crew. They’ve been here almost every night this week. You sure they’re your kinda people?” He asked her concerned for her well being.
“Oh yeah.” (Y/N) bit her lip. “Do you know where they’re holed up at? I’d love to surprise them.”
In less than ten minutes, she had an address with directions and free shot of tequila.
“Be safe out there.” The bartender took her hand and his dark brown eyes looked directly into hers. “You know some girls have gone missing. I’d hate to see your pretty face on the back of some milk carton somewhere.”
“I can take care of myself but thank you for your concern.” She told him.
(Y/N) joined the Winchesters at a high top, “What was that all about?” Dean asked.
“What was what about?” She questioned not sure what he meant.
“Him touching you.”
“Oh he was just telling me to be safe. He’s a good guy. He’s probably a father or uncle.” She explained and they seemed to understand.
Within the hour, they were staking out the abandoned house and made the determination that this was definitely the nest that killed the two girls.
Sam and Dean grabbed their blades from the back. “Ok, Sammy you’re with me.” Dean handed her a machete, “(Y/N) stay outside and you get any that make it passed us.”
“Yeah, ok, stay outside.” She nodded. Dean always wanted to keep (Y/N) safe and hand to hand in close quarters was never her strong suit.
“Stick to the plan and we’ll be home by morning.” Dean smiled looking between Sam and (Y/N).
The boys went hot and fast through the back door as (Y/N) stood ready by the front door.
She took a heavy breathe, “Just follow the plan.”
One vamp came busting out the front door and (Y/N) hid next to frame before she swung hard slicing his head off in one blow. This made the other vamps think they were surrounded and no one else charged the front door. (Y/N) could hear the scuffle coming from inside.
“Sammy!” Dean called out. Her mind raced she wanted to help but also needed to stay the course.
“Dean!” She heard Sam yell.
“Just follow the plan and stay outside.” She told herself. (Y/N) grasped the handle of her blade, “Fuck it!”
She barged through the open door, searching for the brothers. Out of nowhere, someone rushed her slamming her into the wall. Teeth pierced through her lower neck, (Y/N) fought back pushing the dark haired vampire off of her. Her screams ripped through the small house bringing the Winchesters to her rescue. Sam found her first grabbing at the vampire’s jacket shoving him to the ground before he swung decapitating him with one thrust.
Dean followed rushing to (Y/N)’s side, “Dammit! Dammit! (Y/N) you gotta open your eyes.” He cradled her head in his large hands. “Why didn’t you stay outside?”
She groaned, feeling lightheaded trying to stand to her feet leaning against the wall. “Ahh shit. Thanks for saving me.”
“Yeah, we wouldn’t have to save you if you just stayed outside.” Dean spat.
“I’m sorry.” She rasped out.
“Well sorry, doesn’t bring you back from the dead does it?” Dean stared her down as he pressed his shirt to her neck.
“Dean chill!” Sam yelled at him, scooping (Y/N) up in her arms running her to the car. He slid into the backseat with her, keeping pressure on the wound.
Dean started the ignition, “Why did you come inside?” He started up again.
(Y/N) was losing a lot of blood, her voice was rough from all the screaming, “I thought you were…”
“No, No, No!” Sam yelled at her trying to keep her eyes open. “Dean just drive. I gotta get her stitched up.”
The Impala roared down the highway to the motel, Sam carried her inside laying her down on the bed, she had been in and out of consciousness the whole drive over. (Y/N) winced biting down on her lip as Sam poured alcohol over wound, her gashes were sever and Sam had to do multiple little stitches all over her collarbone and neck. Dean just kept pacing and huffing, from his body language (Y/N) could tell he was pissed, she screwed up but she just wanted help them. Tears fell down her face, it wasn’t the pain, she could handle the pain but she disappointed Dean and that was the one thing she never wanted to do.
As soon as Sam was done dressing (Y/N)’s wounds Dean spoke, “You know, I’m glad you got hurt, maybe next time you’ll listen to me. I still can’t believe you came inside (Y/N)! You should have never stepped a foot inside that house.”
“Fine! Fine Dean!” She stood up, “Next time I think you’re in trouble I just won't come to help you.” (Y/N) ran to the bathroom, wiping her eyes as she cried.
She sat against the door crying and Dean left the room driving off in anger. Sam was left alone in the main room still unsure what really just happened. He knocked on the door, “Hey, it’s just me. Dean isn’t here. Can I come in?”
“Yeah” She cried and she stood up next to sink as she opened the door. “Sam, I just don’t understand. Why is he so mad? All I wanted to do was help.”
Sam pulled her into a hug, “He isn’t mad. He’s scared that you got hurt. He cares for you so much, that’s why he’s upset.”
She sobbed incoherently into his chest, and Sam suggested she go to sleep because things will be better in the morning. (Y/N) slept next to Sam as he curled around her and he told her he would protect her and keep her safe.
The next morning, Dean was cold and barely spoke more than a few words to her. She held back tears the whole car ride home as Dean glared at her in the rear view mirror.
(Y/N) made dinner, sort of as a peace offering, Dean was very much appreciated of the gesture. He took a huge bite of the burger and with a full mouth of food he declared, “I’ve been thinkin’ and you should just do research until we can get you better combat training.”
“Excuse me! You’re fucking benching me! No, you don’t get to be an ass to me all damn day and then tell me you’re benching me!” She yelled with a fiery roar. “I’m sorry I screwed up but I thought you and Sam were in danger.” She left the room to be alone.
“I can’t believe him. Who the hell does he think he is?” She talked to herself as she pulled her duffel out. (Y/N) didn’t have a ton of stuff and it would only take two or three bags to pack up everything she owned. It was late in the evening, she checked the main rooms for the sign of the Winchesters and they were asleep while she loaded her stuff into her car. Silently, she drove out of the garage, she didn’t know where she was going but she knew where she wasn’t wanted.
“Hey Sweetheart!” Dean knocked on her door, “I made your favorite.” He waited to hear her move or say something, “Hey, don’t be like that. Please talk to me. I’m really sorry. I shouldn’t have told you that. I’m coming in. I feel silly talking to you through the door.” He opened the door slowly giving (Y/N) the opportunity to tell him to get lost. He walked in and noticed that all of her drawers were still pulled out and her bed wasn’t slept in. Dean knew right away she left. “Dammit!” He charged down the hallway to the garage, her car was gone too. “Dammit! Dammit!” He yelled hanging his head, she left because of him, all because of him. He sank down up against the wall. “Sammy! Sammy!” His chest was crushing him with heartbreak, he just wanted to keep her safe and now she wasn’t even here for him to protect.
Sam came running to his brother’s side, “Dean, what’s wrong?”
“She left.” Dean wept a single tear down his cheek, “(Y/N) left.” Dean’s face said it all, he couldn’t think, he couldn’t focus.
“Lets call her.” Sam suggested calmly.
“Ok.” Dean allowed his brother to help him up off the floor leading him to war room.
Sam pulled up his laptop and began trying to track (Y/N)’s cell phone, credit cards and license plates as Dean called her.
“(Y/N), Sweetheart, I’m so so sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings. Please come home.” He left a voicemail on her phone.
“Did you find anything yet?” Dean inquired to Sam.
“No, she must have turned her GPS off and she’s probably using cash also she had to have changed her plates.” Sam told him. “She doesn’t want to be found, just keep calling her. She’ll come home.”
Dean tried her phone once every 30 minutes leaving long heartfelt voicemails that almost broke Sam’s heart as he listened to him. (Y/N) had become their sister that they never thought they needed but they did need her, she made them stronger and happier.
Sam thought Dean was calling (Y/N) again but he call someone else, “Hey Cas, I need your help.” Dean willed away his tears.
“Hello Dean and Sam” Castiel appeared out of nowhere. “How can I help?”
“It’s (Y/N). I yelled at her and she pack up her stuff and now we can’t find her.” Dean explained.
“That would explain why she has been praying since last night.” Cas informed them.
“She been praying?” Dean questioned.
“Mainly for forgiveness, protection for you two and for me to not to find her.” Cas sat down next to Dean, he didn’t want to tell them everything that (Y/N) had been praying about so he kept a few things secret.
“So do you know where she is?” Dean’s eyes became red again as he push back a tear.
“I can help you find her but I’m not sure if I should.”
“Please Cas, I just have to tell her I’m sorry. If she doesn’t want to home come, I’ll have to live with that.” Dean pleaded with him.
(Y/N) made it a state away before she stopped to rest. “I can do this on my own.” She psyched herself up about her decision. “I don’t need them and I definitely don’t need Dean. If I happen to get myself killed, then I’ll see them in heaven.” She muttered wiping the fog from the mirror as she came out of the shower.
(Y/N) got dressed in her yoga pants and large t-shirt, she wasn’t really going to go anywhere today. She curled up in the bed surrounding herself in the blankets and pillows, she didn’t want to be alone but she had turned off her phone hours ago still not wanting to be found. She prayed like she was having a conversation with Cas, ‘I love them but I just can’t be there anymore. I wanna forgive Dean. He hurt me right to the core of who I am. He doesn’t think I should be hunting. If I’m not a hunter, than what am I. I don’t care that he is only trying to protect me, our job is dangerous. Please God forgive him because I’m not sure that I can, right now. Cas, please don’t come find me. I know you can. Please, please they can’t always protect me. If I die, then well I die.’ Her tears stained her pillow as she prayed and fell into a sleep of exhaustion.
When Cas heard her praying again he wanted to go to her, comfort her pain. (Y/N) was that missing puzzle piece to the team and she was a talented and skilled hunter. He didn’t understand why Dean had been upset with her, and she had taught Cas so much over the years. He was torn between his loyalty to the Winchesters and his respect for (Y/N).
“I will go to her. If she doesn’t want to come home, I’m not going to force her.” Cas said before he popped out of the room.
He took a deep breath and knocked on the door, (Y/N) woke up and shuffled to the door hoping it wasn’t the manager giving her a difficult time for paying in cash again. She swung open the door, “Cas, what are you doing here? I told you not to come.”
He walked past her into the room and she slammed the door shut, “I know what you said. Sam and Dean sent me; they are worried about you. Dean is very sorry.”
“Well he shouldn’t have been such a jerk to me.” She sat on the bed crossing her legs in her lap. “I hate this Cas. He doesn’t get to treat me like that and then just say he’s sorry.”
“Then let him make it up to you.” Cas took a seat next to her on the bed.
“I don’t know.” She laid her head down on Cas’ lap.
Cas stroked her long hair. “He just wants to tell you in person. We can drive back and if after you see him, you don’t want to stay I’ll help you leave.”
“You know good and well that’s not going to happen.” She smiled up at him.
He shrugged, “Probably, but I hate seeing you two upset. Please let's just get you home.”
She didn’t want to be in a lonely hotel room but she didn’t want to go back, she was still upset and didn’t think Dean could say anything to make her change her mind. She sighed, “Alright, I’ll go back to the bunker and listen to what he has to say.”
Cas helped her load her stuff up in the car and they drove back. (Y/N) made Cas stop along the way a few times for breaks plus she wanted to make Dean sweat. “Come here Cas!” She called, lifting up her phone to take a selfie of them both.
“We should be getting back on the road.” He took her hand leading her back to the car.
“They know I’m with you. I saw you text them.”
“I know you just don’t want to face him so you’re stalling.”
“Yeah, you’re damn right, I am. I’m hungry. You wanna buy a girl a meal.” She chuckled.
“Ok but once your feed, I’m taking you home.” He informed.
Dinner included a few pieces of fried chicken, potato wedges and drink from the gas station down the road. Even the cheap meal had made (Y/N) feel better, she didn’t want to see Dean if she was hangry, that would have made the whole experience even worse.
Within the hour, the pair pulled into the garage. When Dean heard the door to the garage open, he ran down the hallway with Sam behind him. Dean didn’t even wait for (Y/N) to get out of the car, he was opening her door and pulling her up into his arms hugging her hard.
“Dean!” She giggled, almost forgetting why she was mad.
“I was the biggest ass and I’m sorry. You had every right to leave me, I mean leave us.” He murmured in your ear.
“Umm hey Cas, why don’t we leave these two be?” Sam signaled to Cas as he left the garage.
“Help me with my bags?” Her large (Y/E/C) eyes looked into Dean’s emerald eyes. “Then we can talk.”
Dean happily slid her backpack around his arms, picked up a duffle and then he flung his arm around her shoulders while they walked to her room. They tossed her bags on the floor, before Dean started talking, “I’m really sorry. I know that doesn’t make up for how I treated you. Yeah, you messed up but I should have been proud that you were brave enough to come in when you knew you shouldn’t have.” He wiped his hand down his face, “We need you. I need you, (Y/N).” Her eyes were becoming wet from his confession. “I don’t know why I thought I could treat you way my dad used to treat me when I fucked up. I’m not him and you aren’t me plus that’s no way to treat people you love.”
“Dean.” Her voice was soft as she reached out to touch his face.
He sat her on the bed, “I have no right to ask you this but can you please forgive me? I need you to forgive me.” She leaned against him and sighed, “I promise we won’t bench you but we are going to train you harder.”
“Ok, ok.” She spoke still soft trying not let the tears fall, “I forgive you.”
“Are you ok with the extra training?”
“Yeah, it’s obviously that I need it but not until I’m healed up.”
“Deal!” He stuck out his hand to shake.
She opened her arms not accepting a hand when she could get a hug. “Deal.” She whispered in his ear. She laid down on the bed now emotionally exhausted. “Will you hold me?”
“Whatever you want, Sweetheart.” He kissed the top of her forehead.
Dean snuggled around her holding her back to his chest. “Whatever I want?” She popped her head up thinking about what she could ask for.
“Yeah sure.”
“Can you make french toast tomorrow?” She asked like a child.
“You could’ve had french toast this morning but you had to run off.” He tickled her side.
She laughed hard, making her face light up. “I guess I overreacted.”
“Yeah but so did I. Go to sleep Sweetheart. Tomorrow will be so much better and today will just feel like a bad dream.” He held her even closer. She was back in his life and he wasn’t going to lose her again.
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Summary: Castiel goes to confess his feelings to y/n, but before he can, she has a few words to say.
Warnings: Castiel being cute and fluffy.
Rating: Fluff.
A/n: Castiel x Reader, inspired by line(s) from “Believer” by Imagine Dragons.
Title: Believer.
I was choking in the crowd
Living my brain up in the cloud
Falling like ashes to the ground
Hoping my feelings, they would drown
But they never did, ever lived, ebbing and flowing
Inhibited, limited
Till it broke up and it rained down
It rained down, like
(Pain)
By the grace of the fire and the flames
You're the face of the future, the blood in my veins, oh ooh
The blood in my veins, oh ooh
Castiel paces around the room. He can’t understand the waves of anxiety that crash into him. This shouldn’t be that hard. It’s only a few words. A few sentences. He just has to say it and wait for a response. Yet, his heart stammers in his chest, his palms grow sweaty as he runs them through his hair, doing nothing but making it messier than it was originally. He closes his eyes and takes in a few deep breathes. All throughout the night he rehearsed his speech. He had it down to a science. Castiel had made sure it was perfect, he’d memorized it by heart, but suddenly he couldn’t remember any of it. He heard your door open as you called out for Dean and Sam. He only had a few seconds. Shakily, he quickly reaches into his pockets. He struggles to grab the note cards with his sweaty palms and pulls them out. You turn the corner, and he looks down at the notes desperately.
“Y/n!” His voice is louder than he means it to be, and she looks up in shock.
“Oh, hey Cas.” Y/n laughs sheepishly and walks up to the obviously flustered angel. “What’s up?” He stares down at her and his eyes widen in horror as he tries to shove the notes back in his pocket. He misses entirely, and they fall to the ground. Y/n tries to pretend she doesn’t notice for his sake, and instead she smiles.
“Y/n, I need to, I need to say-say something to you,” he stutters. “I must tell you something.” Y/n nods quickly, holding her hand up.
“I need to say something first, Cas. It’s really important…please?” He visibly steps back when he meets her gaze, unable to take the intensity of her e/c eyes.
“O-oh, yes. Yes, that’s fine. Go ahead,” he smiles nervously.
Y/n closes her eyes, and sighs softly. “I’m not…I’m not good at this stuff, but, Cas…” She opens her eyes and musters all her courage. “I really, really care for you Cas.” Castiel’s eyes widen. “I know it’s crazy, Cas…I just…” She looks up at him, meeting his gaze. “I love you, Cas. I do.” He tilts his head, the world rolling around in his head. “And you don’t have to say anything- I just, I just wanted to let you know. I had to say it, I had to at least say it…”
After a few moments of silence pass, y/n shifts uncomfortably. “Please say something. Cas?” His eyes dart to meet her gaze, and his lips part, a small smile tugging at his lips.
“Y/n, thank you for telling me.” Her heart falls slightly, and she looks down at the ground.
“O-oh. Yeah, no problem.” She says, smiling sheepishly. Castiel tilts his head and breathes in deeply.
Y/n,” he murmurs, closing his eyes briefly.
“No- Cas, you don’t have to…uh, say anything, I guess. I jus-”
“No, Y/n. I need to.” He moves forward, placing his hands on her shoulders. “Really, thank you for telling me how you feel y/n.” She clenches her jaw slightly and looks down, nodding. “I do not need to worry about your reaction now.”
Her eyebrows shoot down in confusion, and she looks up, opening her mouth to ask him what he means.
Castiel kisses her before she can say anything, wrapping his arms around her and weaving one hand into her hair.
Y/n stands still, stunned at his actions.
“Y/n, I love you. More than anything I’ve ever known,” he pulls away, resting his forehead on hers and staring deeply into her e/c eyes. “I have never known anything that makes me feel the way you do,” he murmurs, briefly closing his eyes.
When they open again, his eyes glow intensely. “I did not know what love was,” he continues. “I did not understand how humans could become so…” He frowns, trying to find the right word. “So…infatuated, with each other. Wanting to spend every second with each other, wanting to keep the other one safe…I’ve felt like this…for you…for so long, I didn’t understand…how could I? Something so…painfully beautiful, how could that be love? Love should not hurt, it should not feel as if every moment away from you is ripping apart my entire being…and if so, being near should rid of that- but it doesn’t…nothing does, nothing makes this feeling go away. Love is not supposed to be painful, it should not hurt…but it does.” He steps forward, as if trying to get closer to y/n, although he is already pressed against her. “It does, and…it is strange. Even now, my heart…” He grabs her hand and presses it to his chest. “…it is beating out of control, my chest is contracting, and my breath is getting lost in my throat, I-” He closes his eyes, breathing in deeply.
His eyes flash. “It does not go away…but it is not…” he tilts his head and breathes in deeply. “It is not unpleasant,” he tilts his head down, his nose bumping against hers. “It’s rather…nice.” A smile forms on y/n’s face and he kisses her again.
“Castiel- I,”
“No, y/n, I am not done.” He opens his eyes. “I want you to be safe, happy…I want you to be loved,” his face scrunches slightly. “But not because of anyone else, because of me.” He clarifies. “I want to keep you safe. I want to make you happy, I want to…I want to love you, y/n. Let me…will you let me love you?” His eyes widen as his features soften, his eyes unbelievably blue as he stares at her. Y/n smiles again, staring down at the ground “Castiel, I just told you how I felt a few minutes ago…you know-” Castiel presses his palm to her cheek, tilting her head up to meet her gaze.
“I want to hear you say it, y/n. Please,” his eyebrows pull down, and he dips his head down, whispering in her ear: “Please, y/n…I want you to be mine: let me love you.”
Y/n’s eyes widen slightly, and he rests his head on her shoulder, his breath hot on her skin.
“Cas…” He pulls his head back instantly, his blue eyes peering into her soul as she smiles. “Of course- yes, Cas…you can…” She laughs softly. “You have permission to love me,” she giggles, not able to control her laughter. Castiel’s face falls, his eyebrows pulling down as he frowns softly.
“You…you’re laughing at me? I did something wrong…” He begins to pull away, but she grabs the sleeve of his trench coat.
“No, Cas- it’s just, you don’t have to ask for someone’s permission to love them.” Cas’s frown contorts into a look of confusion.
“I do not?” He asks.
“No, Cas, you don’t.” Y/n smiles brightly, shaking her head slightly at the Angel’s confusion. His face brightens.
“Well, then, I love you, y/n.” He pulls y/n to him, kissing her forehead and smiling. “I always have, and I always will.”
_________________
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The witch cackled maniacally, making you raise an eyebrow. “You’re really into this whole Wicked Witch thing, aren’t you, bitch?” You snarled at the poor shell of a woman, who had been possessed by the ghost of a dark witch just hours before. You didn’t see the witch behind those eyes, you saw the woman the witch was possessing. A woman screaming for her freedom. And you determined to make sure she remained unharmed.
“Y/N!” Dean screamed as he and Sam finally arrived at the scene. Dean didn’t even bother closing the car door before running towards you, aiming his gun at the woman. You knew he had is witch-killing bullets inside, which you now knew wouldn’t work on her.
“Don’t shoot! It’s a ghost, Dean! The ghost of the witch is possessing her.” You spun around to face him completely. Then, you noticed a familiar trench coat slip from the back seat, making your body relax for just a moment. Cas’ presence alone almost always calmed you. You smiled at the blue-eyed angel as you twirled the enchanted crystal that dangled from your neck, temporarily distracted by your gorgeous boyfriend.
You heard Dean scream your name from beside you, causing you to turn. Your eyes widened as you suddenly launched backwards, your entire body tingling, before everything went black.
“Y/N!” Castiel screamed as he approached you, nearly knocking Dean off his feet as he raced passed him. He knelt beside your motionless body, wincing when his hand touched your heated arm. “She’s been cursed.” Even in his weakened state, Cas knew you were gone. The curse was just too strong for you to handle.
The angel didn’t know what to do next. For over a year, since the day he told you he loved you, he had almost always been by your side. He watched over you, no matter what the case, and made sure that the boys took good care of you. And today, he failed at his most important duty. Now, you were gone forever.
Cas leaned down and pulled you up against his chest. His shuddered breathing caused your head to shake against him as he pressed your cheek tightly into the folds of his trench coat. His other arm supported your back as he rocked you.
“I held you in my arms every night as you slept. But, tonight, your sleep will be eternal,” Cas whispered, his voice shaking. He stared up at the heavens he once called home as tears streamed down his face. “So, I will never let you go.”
“You’ll probably have to let go at some point, babe, or things might get difficult.”
Cas’ hand slowly lowered back to your form. His eyes were like saucers as they as they met your gaze. “You’re—”
“Not worm food? Nope, not yet. You can’t get rid of me that easily,” you joked as you clutched your enchanted crystal. “It must have absorbed some of the shock. I still feel like I’ve been hit by a meteor, but I’m still kickin’.”
Cas smiled down at you, his gaze filled with adoration and love. Then, he leaned down, pressing a desperate kiss onto your lips. You returned the kiss, smiling against his lips as your heart pounded. It was going to be alright. You were going to be alright. And to Castiel, that’s all that mattered. Sure, the witch was still out there somewhere, having disappeared the moment se casted her spell, but neither of you cared. You’d catch her, that much was certain.
But, for now, you were safe and exactly where you needed to be, in the arms of the man you loved.
