#tw depression

[bluewingbtrfly]

now I need extra makeup and something to snap on my wrist :(

thanks dad...

[merclando]

Hi! I’m curios about the 1D thing. It was always a bit toxic in that fandom. But did it get worse after they went on “hiatus”?

hi omg for some reason tumblr won’t let me answer this but yes it got a lot worse because the fandom split into solo fandoms and everyone started fighting and hating on the other boys. especially harries (which is funny considering their favs mantra is treating people with kindness) were very hateful towards the others and everyone was always comparing streaming numbers and popularity and stuff like that. liam was dealing with depression and addiction and fans sent him a lot of hate as well (there was some valid criticism but people took it very far). as someone who was always more interested in the band than the solo careers it was also hard for me to see that the boys were just not close anymore and yeah i distanced myself from the fandom around 2020 but still listen to the music and go to concerts but don’t keep up with the fandom or anything anymore so i don’t know what it’s like nowadays

[verenakauer]

(tw depression/suicidality)

It's so funny (it's not) how a depression in your teens/early twenties fucks up your perception of what "I'm not doing well" is, because it's like. I'm stressed and exhausted and hypervigilant all the time! I can barely sleep and I have nightmares when I do! I'm hitting that caregiver burnout face-first at full speed! BUT!! I'm not actively wanting to off myself!!! Therefore I'm doing well and things are good, right? Right??

The bar is so low.

[dontyoudarejudg3]

The weird thing abt having my happier periods (and I do mean periods I know you know we all know this shit won't last) is like

Things are.... good

I am (mostly) coping

I haven't sh in like almost a week

I keep.... smiling

THEREFORE SOMETHING MUST DEFINITELY BE WRONG

And now im just waiting for the other shoe to drop and to go bavk to being suicidal and like sh every day ughh

@zanderandthedogmaticrisis I feel like maybe you might understand this?

[superfuckingconfused]

Im definitely depressed 💯

[4z45]

My goal for tmr is to wake up at 5AM & maybe go for a walk first. I've already got the hang of my diet, but I seriously need to fix my sleep cycle. I'm a total night owl and honestly at this point I'm questioning whether I have delayed sleep phase disorder. Basically my circadian rhythm is delayed way past the norm. One partial reason why I enjoy the night is bc of how quiet & calm it is. Maybe I'll convince myself to keep waking up early by reminding myself that I'll be waking up to the quiet, dark 5am morning.

[4z45]

Hi, I'm Z. I'm a woman in my early 20s, feeling lost in life. Currently in college, & honestly, I feel like a burden to my parents & sometimes my friends. I've also never been in a long-term, serious relationship. I've never fit in anywhere socially, I'm just glad I still come off as normal to others.

Usually I am alright, but sometimes I go through episodes of suicidal ideation (SI). I am hoping that recording my regular achievements, no matter trivial, can keep me motivated to stay alive rather than spiraling. Those willing to join me in this journey, u are more than welcome to ask me any questions.

[subjectnumber-zero]

it hurts so much