#casey pritchard

[itlivesingeneral]

Waverly: Hey, wanna hear a funny joke?

Ava: I only like dark humor.

Waverly, turning the lights off: What do you call a fake noodle?

Ava:

Waverly: An IMPASTA!

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Britney: I wanted to apologize.

Stacy: Good.

Britney: Let me finish. I wanted to, and then I realized, I’m not sorry.

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Ava: Casey, I’m going to need you to swear-

Casey: Fuck.

Ava: Swear as in promise.

Casey: Oh.

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Cora about Casey: Every grandparent wants to see their grandchild do well, but I’d be lying if I didn’t admit that watching my loser granddaughter fail at everything she tries has been pretty entertaining.

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Andy: Waverly, what are we going to do?

Waverly: What are you worried about? You’re so small they probably won’t even see you.

Andy: Is this really the time to be making short jokes?

Waverly: Andy, there’s never not a time because, just like you, life is short.

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*After Waverly (MC) gives Jane’s whistle back*

Noah: What did you do?

Waverly: Okay, I’ll tell you, but you can’t get mad at me.

Noah: What. Did. You. Do.

Waverly: Well first, I was minding my own business –

Noah, slamming his hand on the table: Bullshit!

Waverly: I WAS!

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Lily: There’s always a light at the end of the tunnel.

Ava: It’s usually an oncoming train.

Lily: Could you not try to kill my vibe for five seconds?

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Casey: You and I have known each other for quite some time, right?

Lucas: Yeah, we’ve been classmates for years. What is it?

Casey: Promise me you won’t get mad though.

Lucas: I’m not the type who gets angry easily, go ahead.

Casey: …What’s your name again?

Lucas, the actual class president who speaks at nearly every student function and is introduced before each one: I’m mad.

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Andy: The eagles won last night.

Tom: Oh, did you watch the game?

Andy, covered in blood and scratches: What game?

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Waverly: Drinking water with a minty mouth is like the cold version of spicy.

Noah, trying not to get attacked by a plant dog: We are trying to save Dan! Shouldn’t you be thinking about other things?

Andy: But is she wrong?

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Stacy: Do you know why I recruited you for cheer?

Casey: I assumed you lost a bet.

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Lucas: We just ate. Why are you making pancakes?

Waverly: They’re for Maurice.

Lucas: Why are you making pancakes for Maurice?

Waverly: He doesn’t know how.

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Tom: Where is everybody?

Casey: Lily and Dan had a nervous collapse, Stacy is looking after them, Lucas, Andy, and Ava went back to bed. Also, Noah is trying to kill Waverly, and I’m in charge.

Tom: Fuck

Casey: I know, right?

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Redfield to the children:  I’ve heard it said that we only gain wisdom through suffering, and tonight I intend to make you very wise.

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Casey: What is toothpaste, if not bone soap?

Ava: Existence is a prison and being your friend is maximum security.

[itlivesingeneral]

Waverly: If I ever let anything happen to Stacey, I wouldn’t be able to live with myself. Of course, I wouldn’t have to, because Conner would kill me.

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Casey Pritchard (OC): All classification systems are ultimately arbitrary because no matter how objective we try to be, our attempts at categorizing the universe are fundamentally rooted in the values we hold. Which brings me to my next point about horses being reptilian due to Vibes.

Andy, regretting agreeing to take a walk with her: I literally cannot deal with this right now.

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Britney: All right, Joss, I need you to clear your head. Think of absolutely nothing—

Jocelyn, immediately: All right, done. 

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Lucas: It's debate time so we must, once again, draw battle lines between those who like mint chocolate and those who do not.

Dan: What battle lines? Nobody likes mint chocolate.

Lily: Screw you, mint chocolate is delicious!

Lucas: And so the lines are drawn.

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Waverly, t-posing in the driveway: Good morning, parental figure.

Cid, not looking up from his gardening: Good morning, problem child.

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Waverly: What if the person who thought of the word “umbrella” meant to call it a “brella” but was under a lot of pressure?

Lucas, done with her shit: Please consult your three brain cells before coming to me with an “important question” ever again.

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Cora to the gang about Redfield: Ya know, kids? This is a goddamned bitch of an unsatisfactory situation.

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Noah: Hey, what’s up?

Casey: Nothing much, just eating lunch.

Noah: Oh, what did you bring?

Casey, showing a bowl of salad with a single egg on top: Egg salad.

Noah: You know that egg salad isn’t just a hard-boiled egg in a bowl of salad, right?

Casey, biting into the raw egg: What’s a hard-boiled egg?

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*During It Lives Within*

Noah: For the last time, Waverly and I are just friends.

Conner: *sneezes*

Ava: He’s allergic to your bullshit.

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Stacey: Don’t speak to me. Ever.

Waverly: I just said you’re brother’s kinda ho-

Stacey: STOP IT!

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Casey: *screws with the gang even though they’re on the same side, etc.*

Ava: Why are you like this?

Casey: Nana Cora was 85% of my impulse control.

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Lucas: All right, I got a box. We’re going to put everything we love in the box.

Stacey: Can I put Lily in the box?

Lucas: No.

Waverly: Can I put Lily in the box?

Lucas: No.

Ava: Can I-

Lucas: Nobody can put Lily in the box!