Supernova
You were a star that had gone supernova. I tried to catch your energy, But I let you slip through my fingers And fade into my universe
Sophie didn’t remember much from the mission, she was even still having a hard time staying conscious after the fact. Tygan would give her a brief summary of what happened, she’d pass out again, wake up in a panic a bit later only to have to be told again. The short story was simple, her psionics freaked out because of anger, her mom dead as a result. However, nothing was as simple as the short story.
Everyone knew by now, she was sure of it. ‘Disclosed information’ didn’t mean much to Raven, the ship’s reaper, and surely this was something that he couldn’t keep quiet. He was always looking for gossip, and telling everyone that Sophie was actually a clone, well, why would he care how it would affect her?
Her x-pad was shaking, no, maybe that was her. She’d asked for anything that was saved video wise from her… incident. For once the commander didn’t give her shit, just supplied her with the recording. It came as a surprise she wasn’t down in the med bay right away to yell at her. Truth be told no one had seen her besides Tygan, even that being brief. There was a sinking feeling in her stomach after that. Never since she joined the avenger had she woken up alone in the med bay, Emra was always by her side, holding her hand. Some sort of tradition between the two, starting back to Emra dealing with her screaming as her chip was removed, staying with her through the night, not letting go of her hand.
She hadn’t even stopped by to see her, that Sophie knew of. There was no feeling of Emra being here at all, her energy missing. If what Sophie thought happened was right, Emra had every reason to hide from her.
She decided to just listen to the vod at first, not thinking she could stomach watching. She laid the thing upside down, letting just the sound play.
It started when her mom first told her that she knew of her original capture, that she even eventually had part in the experiments, things she said she always wanted to do but was told no.
Incredible really that cloning someone and throwing an all powerful being in the head of the child when they were two wasn’t too far, maybe they should’ve classified that as too far. Sophie just laughed now, it was all she could do.
She wasn’t sure what happened in the middle, a lot of her own words too quiet to hear. There were memories of her turning off her comms, probably why her audio didn’t transfer.
‘And what exactly are you going to do, kill me? Prove that you are the monster everyone thought you would be? You say your father died to a headshot wound, but what really happened. Admit it, it’s fine.’
The video was paused, there was no way Sophie could continue watching right now. Her stomach felt like death, it was all she could to just not throw up. Realization hit about how lonely she was, that this would be easier with Emra.
The idea was bad, but she pulled up messages anyways. The only recent thing being from Sadie, telling her ‘never fucking talk to me again you freak. what the fuck is wrong with you, I guess she wasn’t even your mom. Thanks for killing the only family I had left.’ She should’ve been more upset from that, but it was fair, Sadie had every right to be mad at her. Closing out of that she opened up Emra’s and hers chat log. She really wasn’t ready for the last conversation they had.
‘You do not have to be afraid, nothing is going to change my feelings.’
‘Promise?’
‘You have me till the end of time, that will not change. I love you, always.’
‘I love you too Emmy, thank you.’
She locked the device, wrapping her arms around it and then laying her head down on it. Everything in her told her she wanted to cry, to get this out. It wouldn’t happen, it’s like she couldn’t. All she could do was lay there, her stomach in knots. Though she wanted to finish the video, she knew she couldn’t right now. Her relationship was most likely very over, she needed to mourn that first.
Everything they did, every second they spent together, it was running rampant through Emra’s mind. Sophie’s laugh, her smile, the little sounds she would make, the tiny sad whimpers when Emra had to get up from cuddling, how her body felt against hers, all of it. They were all good and happy things, until Emra found out Sophie’s secret.
Emra wasn’t sure what hurt more, being in love with someone who had the equivalent of the very thing that held her race into slavery, or the fact Sophie lied about it for so long. She was selfish, completely, to keep it hidden. Emra felt absolutely disgusted to know what she was actually kissing all those times. She wasn’t one for showers, but after she found out she stayed in one, way over her allotted time, trying to make herself feel clean again. It wasn’t working.
The irony of it all? She was currently curled up in Sophie’s bunk, because it still smelled of her, and that smell was comfort. Mad as all hell at Sophie, the smell of her was what even still calmed her down. Blankets wrapped tightly around her, she breathed in.
Thoughts of Sophie alone in an isolated area, like some sort of experiment gone wrong, hurt Emra. She had clearances to go see her, but she didn’t think she’d be able to manage that.
Sophie being a clone of her dad changed nothing, at least for Emra. She could care less about that, if that was the only thing she’d absolutely be right by her side trying to make her feel better. What bothered her was that she hid that she had some sort of… baby elder (at least, that’s what her mom called it) in her head. It was broken apart, or at least that’s what her mom said. The way Sophie killed her seemed to state otherwise, if there was a lack of power Emra didn’t want to see it’s potential when it was whole.
The storm that resulted made her sick, not that she was scared of them, but because it reminded Emra of what happened the day she was pulled from the facility. Blue lightning, purple clouds, had she caused that too because she was upset? It was hard to shake out of her head, no matter how much effort she put forth.
She wanted to sleep, but she was told she was at her limits for sleeping pills, even if they weren’t working. All she could do was lay awake and think.
In her defense, she didn’t realize the person they were told to extract was Karen. Based on the description she probably could have guessed it, and probably should have, but she didn’t. Now she lost the one person that could give her more answers, and there was the problem of Sophie.
Another thing she should have assumed was that Mark had told Sophie, or that she found out on her own. The fact she was able to manipulate different psionic forces was always confusing to Lexi, and it left her with the assumption that she didn’t know the real power that she had. It turns out she was just damn good at hiding it.
From what was gathered, Sophie had very limited memories of what actually happened, if she had any. She blacked out, put herself into a coma for almost two days. Overexertion was the best guess that Tygan had. She was still struggling to keep herself awake from the reports. It was decided it was best to tell her that she was in the med bay, not that she was locked up in basically quarantine in the psi lab until it was sure she had herself under control and wasn’t a threat.
Lexi felt bad, she did, she never wanted to hate Sophie. She only wanted the opposite, trying to help her. It was clear very fast that Sophie wasn’t exactly someone to reach out for help, or to even accept it. Lexi got frustrated, things got bad. She truly didn’t mean to lash out on her, she was just… angry. Once it happened once it was easy to be mad at her. Lexi never got to take her anger over the whole situation out on anyone, it was pushed aside. Sophie had no idea of the situation, she was just a baby when it happened, but it still brought back memories she didn’t want.
Back then when she was upset she would go to Mark, he was smart, caring. He’d talk her through it, make it seem like the two babies they kept in a lab were fine. She missed him, that’s something she hated to admit, but she did. Even if he fucked her over, left her with a position she really wasn’t ready for. She’d give anything to have his advice right now. Even one of his giant hugs could probably make her feel a little better.
Sophie had asked for any recordings of what happened, Lexi hesitated before approving the request. She knew, however, if she didn’t get them she’d have to learn it through someone else, probably through the way of gossip. That wasn’t fair on her. The request was approved, hopefully Sophie would stay awake long enough to process it all.
Lexi made a note to ask Cass to go check on her, she knew Sophie wouldn’t take well to her being around. At least Cass was better dealing with this kid of stuff anyways. She’d be able to comfort her, try to help. It was clear Lexi’s attempts to help were just a failure.
It took awhile, but she finally watched the video. She watched it several times over, feeling more dead each time. It was all there, her mother yelling her life story, admitting to experimenting on her, purely degrading her.
If you asked her why she was constantly watching it, she really didn’t have an answer. It was a lot to take in, sure, but there wasn’t a lot to see. It wasn’t much different than the day she found out she had these powers, the scene at least. Something she’s seen before, she really shouldn’t be obsessing over it.
The last part of the video was a bit reassuring, at least in the ways of her and Emra. When she fell over, passed out or whatever, Emra caught her. She went out of her way to make sure that she didn’t hit the ground even if she was in full armor. After everything that happened, everything she’d been hiding announced, Emra still was there for her in that moment.
She looked down at her hand, she had it curled up into a ball. There was a lot she was dealing with, she shouldn’t really be worried about her relationship. It was obvious they had her locked up in the psi labs, though the lie was nice to try and make her feel more comfortable. Emra didn’t like being around areas that were heavy with psionic energy, maybe she just didn’t wait with Sophie because she didn’t want to be in this area. She still cared, Sophie knew she still cared, Emra wasn’t one to give up. She had hoped this wasn’t something that would push that test.
There was a knock on the door, Sophie raised her eyes to see someone she wasn’t familiar with walk in. Sophie tried not to get to know the medics on the avenger, she didn’t feel safe around medical people, it wasn’t fair to them to have to deal with her when they didn’t have to. Though this poor lady look terrified, seems news spread fast.
“I’m just here to check your vitals, okay?” She was being so careful, Sophie had to laugh.
“I won’t hurt you, I promise.” The fact that actually made the lady look more relaxed made Sophie roll her eyes. Did people actually think she was going to go on a killing spree now?
She took her arm to check her pulse, a confused face forming. Sophie didn’t have to guess it was because of the lack of scars that weren’t there anymore. She was thankful when the lady didn’t ask anymore questions. The checkup was short, quick, her wanting to do anything to go away from Sophie. Sophie couldn’t exactly blame her, though it was stupid there was reasons to fear her. She wondered how well it would go over with all the staff if they found out about the commander having one too, at least she was spared of having her secrets poured out. Out if the corner of her eye she saw a her tablet light up, a message from Emra.
‘After all this, I think I made a mistake. Everyone was right, humans can’t be trusted.’
That was it, the entirety of the message. Sophie felt her stomach turn again. She curled up on the bed, pulling out the iv that was just put in before closing her eyes. Sleeping probably wouldn’t be something she could accomplish, but she could try.
“I think you need to be the one to talk to her.”
“Cass.”
“Lexi, I’m serious, if you actually know what is going on with her, which, incredibly enough, you say you do, you need to help her.” She was right, and Lexi hated to admit that.
“She’s just going to be scared.”
“You said you wanted a chance to fix things with her. Do it now.” Cass was serious, Lexi hated when she was like this. She wasn’t going to be able to back down from this.
“Fine, you win, I’ll go down tomorrow morning.” Lexi sighed, looking at the ground.
“Do it out of the avenger, I’ll find an area to cover you. Just in case.” When Lexi looked up she expected to see Cass smiling, that it was just a joke. However, she was greeted with the most serious face she’d seen Cass make.
“Cass, that’s… you can’t.”
She wrapped an arm around her, kissing her forehead. “We can’t risk losing you, but you need to talk to her. If she doesn’t try anything I think it shows that she’s safe, but if she does…”
“This… it seems wrong.” Lexi closed her eyes, leaning into Cass.
“I don’t like it either, but we need you, she’s replaceable.”
“You won’t hesitate if need be? I can ask Burns.”
“No, this isn’t something I want on someone else, I’ll be fine.” Cass wrapped her arms around her, squeezing her tightly. Lexi just sighed.
“I guess we have a plan then.”
Sophie was happy to get some fresh air, incredibly happy. With everything that was going on she felt way too trapped, too vulnerable to those around her. She didn’t like feeling weak. Though she wasn’t excited for the reason to be out here, she was excited to get out.
She sat on an empty supply box, waiting for the commander. She wore a large hoodie to cover her head, that way if anyone did know her they didn’t start freaking out. That was getting really old, really quick. They weren’t important to her, why would she try to hurt them for no reason, did she seem that cruel?
She pulled her knees up to her chest, her hoodie able to go over them. She had nothing to do but wait, and listen to others conversations. There was one in particular that peaked her interest.
“Just did inventory, that ancient rifle Cass insists on keeping around is missing.”
“Oh really? wonder why?”
“Maybe she finally got rid of the damn thing, just keeping up space.”
“Maybe.”
Sophie shouldn’t be paranoid, the Commander just wanted to talk. Cass would also never hurt her, if she trusted anyone besides Emra it was her. If the Commander wanted her dead Sophie was sure there was an easier way to do it than this.
Her thoughts were interrupted as the Commander walked out, motioning for Sophie to follow her. Sophie was hesitant, but followed anyways.
“First off, I want to apologize. I never wanted to hurt you Sophie, I swear.” She still sounded so formal, like she was just saying this because it was her job. Sophie rolled her eyes. “Secondly, you can call me Lexi right now, this is going to be personal anyways.”
“That’s nice of you, so kind for you to apologizing for me having to fear for my life by doing the right thing and joining your crew to help fight aliens. Thank you.” Sophie wasn’t happy with the situation, she wasn’t going to act it either.
“Watch yourself.” That made Sophie jump, it sounded like a growl.
“So you’re not playing nice.” She stood still, crossing her arms. Lexi took a big breath, trying to calm herself.
“Okay, let’s start from the beginning. What did your dad tell you.”
“Okay, first thing? I don’t have a fucking dad, or a mom. So please just, spare me of that. Second thing, Mark told me basically the same thing my mom did. Nothing more, nothing less. I’m a clone of him, I was created to be some super powerful alien fighter or some shit.”
“Something like that, yeah.” Lexi nodded, she went to put a hand on Sophie’s back, causing her to jump away and glare. She wasn’t letting Lexi win with this whole being friendly thing. “Your dad and I, we-“
“I literally just fucking said he’s not my fucking dad. I’m a fucking clone. A copy. I don’t have parents. I’m not meant to. Just please, please, stop.” She really didn’t want to hear any tragic backstories, she knew all she needed to know. That was it. “This is all pointless. I don’t care what you have to say Lexi, I don’t. Just- just please, If you want things to be clean between us, fine. Put this all behind you. Treat me like you would any fucking soldier.”
“Sophie, with your power, you need someone to watch over you.”
“No, with my powers, you should be watching over someone else, instead of fucking worrying about me. Leave the damn past behind.” She was mad now, the last thing she needed was protected.
“I cared about you before Mark did, I watched you every night, talked to you, slept in that god awful lab they kept you in. I swear to you, I care.” She actually sounded serious, her voice breaking into a heavy Russian accent. Was she upset? This was unbelievable, Sophie didn’t need this.
“Lexi, I don’t know what you want from me. If you want me to see you as some sort of parent figure, I’m sorry, clones don’t get parents, or families. Their made for a reason, and I intend to do what I was made for.” She turned her back to her, and took a deep sigh. “I have this under control, the thing that happened was a fluke, it was personal, there’s no one left that can make me angry like that. I don’t need help or advice.”
“As long as you’re okay.”
“I am, and by the way, thank Cass for me, glad she decided not to pull the trigger.”
“Sophie, I’m-“ She reached out, Sophie pushed her away.
“It’s fine. I don’t care. Just give me my clearances back and let me do what I was made to fucking do.”
“You’re cleared. Dismissed.”
“Thank you.” She whispered before running off back to the ship, wanting nothing more than to finally get to talk to Emra.
Sophie’s bunk didn’t smell like her anymore, mainly because it was where Emra spent most of her time. She still didn’t want to leave. There were too many memories here that she still believed were good, she didn’t want to let them go yet. Once Sophie was cleared she’d have to move, of course, but she still had time, she planned on using it.
She was half lost in thought, half reading a cookbook she had found her last time out. A few weeks ago Sophie would’ve been in her lap, pointing out all the best things. Them making plans for having a small farm one day, growing their own foods. Emra bit her lip, trying to not think of that. It wasn’t a choice now.
She put the book down, knowing she wasn’t going to be able to enjoy it much anymore. Everything was tainted in memories of Sophie, it was hard to let go even if she knew she had to. Everything felt wrong about the relationship now, it couldn’t be possible. She rested on her side, she knew she wouldn’t be able to sleep, but she could at least make herself comfortable. Relaxed for a few seconds, she then heard the curtain covering the bed open.
“Em?”
“You’re cleared?” Emra wasn’t ready to see Sophie again, really wasn’t ready. It had maybe been five days at most since she last saw her, but it hit her hard. She was still as perfect looking as ever, Emra having to fight to not pull her into her lap.
“Yeah it was kinda a rushed thing- what are you doing here?”
“Just, grabbing my things, sorry. I think I have a meeting I need to get to with Betos, anyways.” She needed some excuse to run away, it made her feel gross to know the truth about Sophie and have to deal with seeing her and now hiding her feelings.
“You free to talk when that’s over?” Sophie said, sitting on the bed next to her. Emra felt awful, she was so close, she wanted to pull her closer- but…
“Sophie, there is no talking to be had. With what is in your head, it is wrong for me to…”
“I understand.” Was all Sophie mumbled, her eyes looking at the ground. “If that’s your choice, that’s fine. Know that I still love you however.”
Emra got up after that, and didn’t look back. She couldn’t check to see if Sophie was hurting, or if she looked upset. She needed to be strong. Even if there was tears forming in her eyes she needed to walk away. It was what was right, what she deserved.
She knew she could never stop loving her, but she had to try.
Sophie curled up in her bed, the smell of Emra incredibly strong. Her nose being stronger than most the smell was deeply affective. Blankets pulled over her head she sighed, she knew better than to try to cry.
“Well, fuck.” Was all she mumbled. That was the best way to describe what had happened.
If she didn’t believe that fighting wasn’t a thing she needed to do, she would’ve shot herself. Or even tried to kill Lexi, letting Cass deliver the killing blow. This however, was what she was made for. She didn’t have a choice but to keep fighting. One day she wouldn’t be needed, it could all be over then. Right now, however? She had to fight
