#cassiopeia doll

[asinglewallflower]

Cassiopeia:

“It’s hard, to be the rational one... and the emotional one all at once. It’s hard, because he acts like he doesn’t care- like he isn’t scared. Like he’ll miraculously suddenly not be sick. He won’t deal with it... so I have to.

Truth is, I don’t know how to. I don’t think I can. I want to be like him. I want to run away. I want to pretend.

But if I do, who will stay to solve the problem?”

[asinglewallflower]

Cassiopeia:

“But even so... as long as he was lounging, as long as he was acting like he wasn’t in a hospital... as long as he had the nerve to make me this worried, then my sky wouldn’t fall. It wouldn’t, because he was the tether holding it up.”

[asinglewallflower]

Cassiopeia:

“And so I stay. 

I stay, and hold together the pieces. I stay, and face the problem. I stay... and I hold him as though it might be the last time.”

[asinglewallflower]

Cassiopeia: 

“It was in one room- one single, small room that the sky suddenly seemed to stop mid descent. It stopped- and it hung over my head like a heavy weight. Eternally looming, eternally threatening. It had stopped falling... but when would the small tether that was holding it up break? How long would it hold up? Could I keep it from falling again?

I didn’t know.”

[asinglewallflower]

Cassiopeia:

“It happened one day. The sky fell. Not everyone’s sky... but my sky. Time seemed to slow as it did. Some say that time is a human construct... that it doesn’t really exist. I never really understood until then.”

[asinglewallflower]

Cassiopeia:

“A lot of the time... the things he tells me don’t feel real. The things the doctors tell me don’t feel real. It’s like I’m wandering, completely lost in a haze of emotion. It’s hard to feel things right now. Perhaps because I felt too much all at once... 

Nothing feels real.” 

[asinglewallflower]

Cassiopeia:

“He had a lot of nerve, lounging as he did. As if he hadn’t relapsed. As if he wasn’t in a hospital... as if there weren’t tubes sticking out of him again.”

[asinglewallflower]

Cassiopeia:

“Believe it or not we found ways to entertain ourselves. It isn’t hard to pass the time when you’re with your best friend, who just so happens to like the same things you do.”

*giggling*