Modern Mistext AU
“So...your ex was texting you the pics, but you didn’t have his number saved in your phone.”
“He thought he was anything that could be ex in the first place.” Dandelion rolled his eyes and chased the whipped cream around the bottom of his cup with his straw. “I just like to hook up a lot. Not looking for a boyfriend. Are you single?” Geralt thought about his complicated relationship status and winced inwardly. “I’m...available?”
“Available and single are two very different things, and I have strong opinions about each of those. Mainly no to available because I’ve learned that lesson. I’m not sneaking out windows or hiding in closets again.”
“Available meaning I’m technically married, but we date other people and hook up sometimes with each other?”
“...I have a lot of questions and I need a second.”
“Hm.”
“How are you technically married to someone you occasionally hook up with, for numbers 1 through...let’s say 24, while I figure out what the next one is. I think it’s gonna depend on your answer there.”
“Hm.”
“Okay, hm. You’ve got 23 more tries.”














