“Do you even hear yourself?” Castor’s voice was sharp as he spoke. Shrill and incredulous as he stared wide eyed at his boyfriend before him. “No. What gives you the impression that that is even vaguely a good idea. No. You're not.”
“We both know I’m one of the least important people here, Cas… You can fight. You’re strong. You’re a leader. They need that.” Tyde gestured towards the house. Towards their friends and family sleeping inside. “And the rest of them? Gifted. Each and everyone of them. You all have something to offer. Something to bring to the table. And maybe I can fight. Hold my own at least. But you don’t need that. Not really.
“And someone… someone has to.”
“Not you.”
“And who would you send instead? Who in there, our friends…. our family? Which one would you rather send? It’s a suicide mission either way, Cas.”
“Not you,” Castor repeated, hands and body shaking as he tried so hard to tighten down on his emotions. His mouth was dry and he couldn’t stop the way his heart had fallen into the pit of his stomach as soon as he’d caught Tyde trying to sneak out of the house. He couldn’t help the way his blood had run ice cold at Tyde’s words. How he’d been determined to leave without even a goodbye.
I’m going on the mission. I’m the only one we can afford to lose. It has to be me.
“You can’t. Someone else.”
Please it has to be someone else.
“Who else, Cas?” Tyde looked up at him with sad eyes that Castor could barely see.
Castor didn’t know when he’d started crying. Just a few tears finding their escape as they trailed down his cheeks. “Someone—I don’t… Not you. You can’t—I can’t, Tyde. Please. I’ll go. I’ll do it. Just not you, they don’t need me, not like you say. Just please, not you.”
Tyde shook his head. “Your sisters need you. And your people will need you when we ever win this war. And we will. You will. You have people who need you, who rely on you. I don’t. Just let me do this. This one thing, this one way that I can make a difference.”
“I do. Tyde, I need you.”