#caswantsdeansassbutt

[armandyke]

Soooo, talking about sharing birthday. My grandpa's 3 kids all of the same birthday. For my mom and her twin, it's understandable, but the third one was born like 10 years later on the same day. No one believes them when they get together at a restaurant for their birthday.

akdjhakldhaslda

[armandyke]

That was 100% sexual harassment and that man should be ashamed of himself. I'm so sorry that happened to you.

I just sent a very detailed account of what happened to whoever he was working for so we’ll see what they have to say about it lmao

[armandyke]

Wait, wait, holy shit, I just realized that was phrased poorly. Her triplets that her sims had. She was not, in fact, trying to kill real children.

adjalkdlsls it’s okay I once made a post about locking my ex husband in a bathroom and leaving him to starve to death because he wouldn’t get out of my house and it was only about an hour later that I realised I hadn’t mentioned anywhere in the post that I was talking about sims

[armandyke]

You play the sims? Awesome. Do you wanna hear about the time my best friend tried to kill off her triplets so she could have pets in a sims game and they literally wouldn't fuck off?

Tell me

[armandyke]

OKAY, so she had these 3 babies and she was like, “Nah fam, I want some doggos” and she kept trying to neglect them or some shit so that CPS would come and get them, but somehow her house had a weird glitch in it by where the babies were and so unless you approached it a SPECIFIC way, you would get fucking caught in a spot where you can’t leave. Anyway, after she couldn’t get them taken away and she didn’t want to actually starve them to death, she decided to abandon them in the park and was like “Fuck it, someone will take care of them or they’ll die out of my view” THOSE BABIES TOOK A FUCKING CAB HOME.  Just, ding ding, surprise mother fucker, we’re back.  So she kept them because they Hansel and Gretel’d their way home and she killed off their dad instead. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

- Submitted by @caswantsdeansassbutt

That’s inspirational tbh I want to have as much determination and lust for life as those babies

[armandyke]

I was born in 1990, so I age wise could quite feasibly date like 90% of the older members of the MCU and that's the only thing that makes me feel okay about my age tbh

I’m the perfect age to be too young to date the mcu adults and too old to date the mcu kids

[curlsincriminology]

Here's your request for questions. What's your favorite color? Which sea creature do you like the most? If a walrus and a bull were able to meet in a neutral arena where both are in their peak element somehow, which do you think would win?

Purple

Seals

Uhm, I think a walrus. Because walruses can fuck someone up on land and in water. A bull is probably only at its peak on land. So if the walrus knocks it into the water dat bull gon die

THANK YOU

[okcreepsters]

First, I'd like to say that I am in love with this blog. I was on OKC for about 2 months and people are the worst. The first day I got over 100 messages from creepy guys wanting to get "sexy pictures" of me (ugh). But I will say that I met my current boyfriend on there and we've been dating for a year and are planning on moving in together in the next year, so sometimes it does work wonderfully.

Yay! We love hearing success stories. They warm our cold, cold hearts.

See, guys? OkCupid can work, and it's great when it does.

- S