#okcupid

[samott]

via

[bunchacrunchcake]

The best dating advice I could ever give is:

If someone thinks you're hot the first thing out of your mouth, on an app DOES NOT MATTER. You can literally say "Hello, I'm ___ nice to meet you." If they think you're hot they will keep talking to you. If they do not, it doesn't matter what you say.

Why is this good advice? Incels say you should looksmax so that everyone thinks you're hot, but that's the stupidest advice ever. Women are constantly asked about who they think is hot by RESEARCHERS and the answer is the same every time: It depends. Men tend to cluster around the same type of women a bit more, but I'd argue that it depends for them too.

The reality is that someone, somewhere will find you hot, without any changes to your looks or personality.

Your goal isn't to craft the perfect message, make the perfect profile, wear the perfect clothes, do pushups, get surgery. If you do that you'll actually become MORE insecure because you're constantly obsessing about how awful you look. And that will make it harder to find love because you will be more hesitant to be yourself in public around people who would like that.

If you do the above, what you're actually doing is trying to fend off rejection, instead of chasing success. Because you can't date everyone. It's not physically possible. And ironically, no matter how much work you do on yourself, TONS of people still won't like you, not because you failed, but because they just like different things. Instead of seeing that for what it is, the world being a big and diverse place, you will internalize it as a personal failure and you'll be like that weird monk in The Davinci code who beats himself with a mace in private because he was a bad bad boy.

Your goal is to literally just go out into the world, be proud of who you are, and do stuff you like. You will run into someone who likes the same things and likes you and thinks you're hot. And... if you're okay with being rejected by a lot of people romantically, you just see it as you're not their cup of tea, you will be proud of yourself, outgoing, and you'll find someone who is like "holy shit where have you been my whole life."

And you didn't do one situp. You didn't learn a new makeup routine. You didn't buy a cool car.

You just said, hey maybe I am actually hot and cool. Maybe people do like me. Maybe I'm fine the way I am.

And someone else out there said, no you're not just fine, you're amazing I want to date you.

Stop overthinking your dating profile. That's the moral of the story.

[sillyrabbot]

My spiritual journey has taken me all the way to the okCupid age range of 27-54…

[rapeculturerealities]

Tinder, Hinge, OkCupid, Owned by Match Group, Track Reports of Rape. Why Don’t They Warn Users? | Democracy Now!

Tinder, Hinge, OkCupid, Owned by Match Group, Track Reports of Rape. Why Don’t They Warn Users?

Match Group, the tech company that owns Match.com, OkCupid, Hinge, Tinder and other popular dating services, has known for years which users

Match Group, the tech company that owns Match.com, OkCupid, Hinge, Tinder and other popular dating services, has known for years which users have been accused of sexual assault and rape, but kept those reports hidden from others on the app, according to a new investigation. Match Group controls half of the world’s online dating market and facilitates meetups for millions of people in scores of countries around the world. “Match Group is aware of a lot of the scale of the harm on their apps. They actually track this on their backend,” says journalist Emily Elena Dugdale, one of the authors of the investigation produced as part of the Pulitzer Center’s AI Accountability Network. “Similar to many tech companies, there’s really little regulation that requires them to actually tell you what’s going on on their apps.” We also speak with whistleblower Michael Lawrie, the former head of user safety and advocacy at OkCupid. He says he quit after his concerns about user safety went unheeded. “I was seeing a lot of stuff,” Lawrie says. “It became impossible for me to carry on working there, ethically and morally.”

[kaioty-summer]

If you want to listen about some tech news, check out jonah on peertube.

Why Does Microsoft Hate Security? | This Week in Privacy #48 (Apr 10, 2026)

Microsoft is suspending developer accounts for key privacy tools like VeraCrypt and Wireguard, Employers are using your personal data to fig

[coochiequeens]

He used Hinge to rape women. Guess who Big Tech is protecting? | Opinion

Match.com and OkCupid recommended women to Jeffrey Epstein, a registered sex offender. It was just one example of dating apps not stopping a

He used Hinge to rape women. Guess who Big Tech is protecting? | Opinion

Carrie Goldberg, Opinion contributor Mon, April 13, 2026

Newly released federal records show that Match.com continued recommending young women to Jeffrey Epstein years after his conviction as a sex offender. In 2012, the company congratulated him on his “first 18 matches” and supplied him with curated profiles of women in their early 20s, despite his status as a registered offender being public and easily verifiable.

Match.com’s handling of Epstein was not an isolated failure by a single platform. Match Group owns many of the most popular dating apps in the world, and its failed approach to safety, enforcement and algorithmic promotion has continued for years.

Epstein’s connection to Match Group dating apps could run even deeper. He also seems to have found young women through other Match apps like OkCupid, hobnobbed with the owner, Barry Diller, and possessed documents showing he might have been an investor in Match Group.

In September 2020, Hinge was told that Denver cardiologist Stephen Matthews had drugged and raped a woman he met through the app. The survivor contacted Hinge the next day after waking up naked on his floor. A hospital exam confirmed sexual penetration while she was incapacitated. Hinge responded that it had taken “immediate steps” and later assured her Matthews had been “permanently banned.”

That assurance was false. Three months later, Hinge recommended Matthews to the same survivor again. In fact, the company continued promoting him to women using features like “Most Compatible” and “Standout.” Matthews remained active on Hinge for nearly three more years, using the same name, photos and carefully cultivated “trusted doctor” persona.

In 2024, a Denver jury convicted Matthews of 35 counts related to the drugging and/or sexual assault of 11 women between 2019 and 2023. A former district attorney called him “one of the most prolific serial rapists in the history of the state of Colorado.” He was sentenced to 158 years in prison.

To date, Hinge has faced no accountability.

Thankfully, that may be changing. I represent a group of survivors now suing Hinge, arguing that the company’s own conduct, including its design choices, safety failures and continued promotion of Matthews after reports of rape, placed users in foreseeable danger.

Unfortunately, when survivors seek accountability, Big Tech companies respond with the same defense. They argue that Section 230 of the Communications Decency Act shields them from responsibility for what happens through their services.

Big Tech misuses law to shield itself. Courts can fix that.

But Section 230 was never intended to immunize companies for their own conduct. It was written to protect social media platforms from liability for third-party speech, not to excuse decisions about product design, safety architecture and algorithmic promotion that foreseeably place users in danger. That conduct falls squarely within the traditional scope of negligence and product liability law.

Section 230 does not excuse harm caused by a platform’s own design. Courts regularly assess foreseeability and responsibility in cases involving dangerous products and environments.

Dating apps should be held to the same standard, especially when evidence shows they continued promoting known predators and misled users about safety.

Our firm, C.A. Goldberg, successfully used this theory to shut down Omegle, a platform that paired strangers for anonymous video chats while children were being sexually exploited through its service. Omegle claimed Section 230 protection. The courts rejected that defense, finding that the harm stemmed from Omegle’s own product design, lack of safeguards and failure to act despite repeated warnings. Faced with mounting liability, Omegle shut down.

Once liability is on the table, transparency follows as a matter of course. Discovery allows courts and juries to examine how algorithms operate, how reports are handled and how often known offenders are allowed to return. This process does more to change corporate behavior than any voluntary advisory council or public-facing safety pledge.

When companies design environments that predictably place people in danger, the judicial system exists to intervene. Epstein’s access to dating platforms and Matthews’ yearslong reign on Hinge reveal an industry that has prioritized growth and profit over user safety.

Courts are capable of enforcing responsibility when companies refuse to do so themselves. Dating platforms have given them every reason to act.

Carrie Goldberg is a victims’ rights attorney and the founder of C.A. Goldberg, PLLC, a law firm that litigates against Big Tech companies and others when their products enable stalking, harassment and exploitation. She is the author of "Nobody's Victim," a New York Times editor’s choice.

[somethingusefulfromflorida]

When I was in college I tried using OKCupid for a while, and their gimmick was that they asked you hundreds of random personality-adjacent questions; you could answer as few or as many as you wanted and they would give you a match percentage for every profile you saw based on how similar your answers were (you could even rate each question to say "I prefer if my partner has the same answer" or "I don't care" or "they MUST have the OPPOSITE answer or we won't work out AT ALL," etc.)

Anyway, one of the questions they asked was "if you turn a left-handed glove inside out, which hand would it fit on?" That's some Big Bang Theory Bullshit, something the poorly written autistic sociopaths would ask so the audience could laugh at how pathetic they are.

"It is vitally important that my partner have a fundamental understanding of ontological chirality, or else people will think they're weird..."

[liliyawnas]

ok so as i said im back on dating apps and this time i decided to try okcupid. i know its supposed to be a website, but i didn’t expect the app to be so fucked. it’s actually broken as in there’s something very wrong with the way it’s programmed.

one time i opened it it just displayed white code text on a black background. it went through my entire screen I thought my phone was dead for sure, i was so scared omg

didn’t think that was even possible

this post isn’t so much about dating as it about awful tech