#cat's journal

[atimetoteardownandatimetobuildup]

hello and welcome to the Annual Catholic Sleeper Agent Day

REMEMBER

whenever someone says "May the Fourth be with you" DO NOT ANSWER "And with your spirit." The correct response for today only is "And also with you." The Mass change of 2012 DID NOT happen for this purpose. We need plausible deniability.

[atimetoteardownandatimetobuildup]

ok, this is a bit more of a lighthearted post, but !!!! i got a book idea (very vague but it might crystallize more)!!!!

so basically, queer catholic sci-fi book (series? idk, I don't have much of a plot, just a lot of setting and story ideas that I need to have form into a cohesive plot) that I hope to get eventually published (once it's written) at a Catholic publishing house so more Catholic kids can try and help themselves fit into a theology that is currently against them. Yeah, there is going to have to be so much subtext. There will also be a LOT of social commentary on how Christianity is often used to justify gaps in wealth between the rich and the poor, clergy and their abuse of power, and how someone's beliefs and identity can conflict and resolve, because, well, 2000+ years of tradition has a lot of stuff in it!

Includes:

ace sarcastic Catholic main character Rose (filler name at the moment) who lives on the edge of society and has to be very resourceful (read: society took a lot from her, including a lot of her faith)

spaceships!

cool tech items

guardian angels make occasional appearances

a virus spreading across civilization stopped by the power of teamwork

"power corrupts, and absolute power corrupts absolutely."

obscure theology

at least one redemption arc

"what are you in for?" "almost rear-ended a nun."

space

cities larger than they have any right to be

a peasant revolt

activism

and more!

I'll probably keep posting about it here, and I'll probably make a tag for it at some point.

[atimetoteardownandatimetobuildup]

creators i like

@lapsed-lys another good queer perspective on reconstructing faith

@jellyfishhhhhhhhhhh they seem cool

@gayleviticus has some good takes

i will post more as i find more

reblog with others!

[atimetoteardownandatimetobuildup]

I think I know where my faith is at.

It’s at a place where I need to know there is good in the world before I can go deeper. Because, wow, things look bleak right now.

[atimetoteardownandatimetobuildup]

“evangelical Catholic”

The last thing I need is evangelical conservatism at my church. I’ve been through enough at the hands of those who inflict pain in the name of “evangelizing” and faith. The youth don’t want tradition. We want community, a third space, and food served after Mass by nice old ladies.

[atimetoteardownandatimetobuildup]

my brother in Christ outside the old chapel

I know you want to be preaching the Gospel but— and I mean this with no disrespect— there is a time for everything. and it is time to be quiet. didn’t Jesus say not to be on street corners making a scene of yourself? is this the way to preach the resurrection in a week marked by death?

and while I’m at it, who did you vote for? are the lives of babies unimportant after they’re born? if an immigrant wanted food, would you give it to them or ask to see their papers first? why do you doubt our god’s creative vision, and in the fact our hands can shape creation, too? would you tell my friends God would rather have them dead by an unforgivable sin than turn out differently than how they were born? do you think we should be defined by our worst action? and if you want to protect the children and the least among us, why do you stand by a rich man who is doing so many horrific things who has done nothing to seek restoration and justice for his victims? because true forgiveness starts with repentance and meaningful change.

you are the ones we were warned about. those who preach faith but only care about rules and performance and control.

so, once again, I have a message for the street preachers by the old chapel: stop ruining my beautiful faith’s reputation.

[atimetoteardownandatimetobuildup]

Happy new year (I hope)

[atimetoteardownandatimetobuildup]

The Evangelicals are talking about the rapture again.

I’m going to put the really dark stuff below the cut, so you can skip this post if you want to.

Lemme tell you, there is a difference between “I know that I don’t believe in this, and in the slim chance that they were right, I would be excluded from it, so there is literally nothing to worry about” and “this traumatized me, so I have been incredibly paranoid for the last week and Not A Lot Helps That, Including Knowing that This Is Not Something That I Believe In”.

I think I figured out why that particular belief (that isn’t even remotely Catholic) hurt me so much. It’s because the worst thing that ever happened to me was being ripped away from my life without my consent, having little contact with the outside world, and being told “you might never be the same again.” The rapture says “the greatest thing that will happen to you is getting ripped away from your life, cutting off all contact with everyone who didn’t share your beliefs and maybe never seeing them again. Oh, and your life will never be the same and you can’t finish anything you started.”

I lived through six months of isolation. Six months of an echo chamber. And I know that nobody with any capacity for love, let alone pure Love, would put me through that again. And then I have to listen to people saying “it’s good that they’re (read: Christians) leaving” and. That’s basically just saying “kill yourself”. No. No way. I already went through that. I’m better now, but… ugh.

(This is your reminder to never say “x group of people would be better off gone” because 1) that’s how fascism starts 2) you never know who’s listening and is way too scared to say anything.)

I’m writing this post because I feel like I have to. It’s the years of Everything culminating in so much fear and anger and anxiety all bundled up into what I suspect will be the worst day in a while.

To any of you who are going through something similar, we will get through this. Life will go on. I know that there isn’t much to say that will help, but please go talk to your friends. Watch the sun rise if you wake up that early (I wish). Do whatever you need to in order to stay relatively calm. Drink water! If you have meds, take them!

The intrusive thoughts are just thoughts. You don’t have to listen.

Tomorrow I will wake up. I will go to class and see my friends. I will finally get my bike fixed. Life will go on. The world will keep spinning. And I will be incredibly happy when thousands of people realize that they were wrong.

Oh, and it’s been September 23rd in most of the world for a bit. We would have started seeing reports if people were disappearing en masse. If you’re in the US, yeah. We would be getting tons of emergency alerts. You are not under any threat from the delusions of a man from the 1840s.