Catboy Steve actually really likes wearing collars. He’s been so used to wearing one his whole life, but his original one - the one his parents gave him when he stopped growing - was this thick, heavy leather thing, black with a silver buckle. Something standard and boring. And Steve smiled and wore it, even if it felt like a token effort, because it was a reminder that even if his parents weren’t around, he was protected.
That he belonged to someone. To a family.
When his parents kicked him out of the house after he couldn’t get into college, they took his collar away. And Steve spent hours trying to wrap his head around not belonging, anymore.
He stayed with Robin for a couple of weeks while he found a place of his own. He gritted his teeth against the stares at his bare neck when he went into public, the lascivious grins and inappropriate propositions. Barely tolerated it. But when he got his own place, Robin suggested taking him to the store to get a new collar, one that was all his own.
And Steve’s eyes light up at the prospect. He’d been told all his life that cat people belonged to others - parents, lovers, friends - but never to themselves. So when they walk into the store and he sees all the collars on offer, he gets so excited. He touches almost every single one before settling on a cheap one, a light brown leather collar, thin and soft and supple, something that feels good and sits light and makes him feel like he belongs, if only to himself.
When he and Billy begin their relationship, a hesitant, careful thing five years after their fight and three years after Billy started therapy, Billy keeps staring at Steve’s collar. He won’t touch it, barely kisses Steve’s neck which - okay, Steve likes any kisses, he likes any touches, and Billy likes to nibble on his ears which is somehow more heady than any other touch Steve’s received.
But three months after Billy moves in with him, two years into their relationship, Billy’s fingers brush over the leather collar and Steve moans and arches his neck into the touch.
“Will you... would you want to-”
Steve looks at Billy curiously, pupils wide, with a purr lightly rumbling in his chest. “Want to what, Billy?”
“Could I get you a collar?” Billy asks in a rush. His cheeks are bright red, and Steve has keep himself from leaning in for a kiss so he can take a moment to pick apart what Billy is asking.
“You... you want to get me a collar?” Steve asks with wide, incredulous eyes.
Because no one’s ever wanted that. He and Nancy talked about it - but it was more like Steve talked about it and Nancy avoided the subject altogether. And his parents only got the bare minimum of a collar for him because it’s what was expected.
“Yeah,” Billy replies shyly as his fingers slide around the inside of Steve’s collar. No one’s touched Steve there in years, and he shivers pleasantly at the contact. “You’re mine, right? I don’t want to, like, infringe on your rights, because you’re your own person and all, but-”
And Steve has to cut Billy off. Kisses him soundly, fingers sinking into Billy’s soft hair. Steve will never admit it, but he’s absolutely kneading it beneath his hands.
“Yes,” Steve whispers breathlessly when he pulls away. “Yes, please- just. Yes.”
And Billy smiles. Because maybe he knows how important it is for Steve to belong to someone.
When they go to the shop, Billy lets him pick out the collar. It’s lined with suede and it’s the softest leather he’s ever felt, and it’s thin and black with a tiny silver bell at the front. Steve bats the bell once, twice, pupils going wide, then shakes his head and feels his ears go flat, tail twitching with irritation at himself, when he catches what he’s doing. He looks at the price tag and goes pale.
But when he tries to move to the next option, something cheaper, Billy just smiles and hands the collar Steve loves to the sales associate.
“Billy, stop,” Steve says, reaching out to curl his fingers around Billy’s wrist. “It’s- that’s too much. I can find something cheaper.”
“Stevie, you like this one,” Billy reminds him, turning his hand over to twine their fingers together. “I want you to have one that you like. I don’t care about how much it costs. It’s important to me that you feel comfortable, belonging to me. You’re worth it.”
And Steve... Steve definitely tears up when Billy tells him this. Because he’s never heard that from anyone before. He’s never been worth it to anyone but himself, never truly belonged to anyone other than himself.
Billy curls his arm around Steve’s shoulders and pulls him in close, even though Steve’s taller and the angle is awkward, but Steve hunches down, makes himself smaller because he feels... vulnerable, with his emotions on display. But Billy gets that. Billy knows. And it means a lot.
It means everything.
After Billy’s hands over his credit card, Steve sits on a plush ottoman set up in front of a vanity at the back of the store. Watches Billy’s fingers carefully slip the leather strap through the buckle and slides off the old brown collar, the one that Steve still adores. The one that’s given him comfort for years.
The bareness of his neck makes Steve shiver unpleasantly as he recalls all the taunts and teasing and the jokes and the sexual comments that made him squirm.
But Billy’s fingers are back, petting the blank space on his neck, fanning over his collarbone. The tan against his pale white makes Steve’s breath catch at the stark contrast. This is the first time Billy’s really touched his neck like this before. Steve... Steve kind of loves it.
And then that soft, black collar slips over his neck. The sight of the small silver bell sitting right in the dip of his throat feels so right, looks so good, that Steve tears up again and doesn’t realize it until he’s taking a shaky breath in as Billy rubs the space right between his ears atop his head.
Because he looks like he belongs to someone again.
