If whatever nonsense screechings currently in my description are not enough for you, here have some more
YOU MAY CALL ME: Magpie. Or my URL. if we’re friends you can call me whatever the fuck I don’t care
PRONOUNS: before I answer that I would like to ask you a question first. Do you ever wonder why we’re here?*
GENDER: it’s.. uh. it’s really complicated and I’m not that good at explaining it here let me link some video essays that go into better detail [x] [x] [x] [x] [x] [x]
AGE: old enough to legally write this while drunk, young (looking) enough to still get carded
LOCATION: under a bed somewhere. maybe on the ceiling. idk it changes.
TRIGGERS: kittens ;-; any cats really >.< also trees and plants. @_@;; they terrify me. I’m trying to overcome my fear by exposing myself to pictures of them which is why I reblog them so much**
DIAGNOSES: I have a meme disorder and terminal bitch disease. and depression because who fucking doesn’t.
DNFNGDIN OR WHATEVER THE FUCK THOSE LETTERS ARE: ok I’m actually going to answer this one semi seriously and say if you’re a minor, I can’t exactly stop you from being here but I do not recommend it. I’m vulgar, crass, lewd, and a general menace. this is far from the most dangerous place on the internet for you to be, but it is not safe. if you see something here that upsets you, save yourself the trouble and just block me because I’m not going to stop being an adult in an adult space just cause some kid I don’t know and have no responsibility toward peeked through the window. think of it like this: if you walked into a bar would you tell them to stop selling alcohol just because a minor happened to walk in uninvited? There are a handful of types I’ll just block on sight whether we’ve interacted or not. I block people a lot. don’t worry about it.
* (if you don’t get the reference, the answer is “it’s one of life’s great mysteries!” or something like that. I’m saying it’s a mystery. my pronouns are a mystery, just like everything else about me. also go watch r/v/b it’s good)
** lmao this is a blatant fucking lie. maybe don’t have a list of things that trigger you out in the open and clearly available. same goes for any other personal or identifying information.