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i wish i could figure things out fast and i wish i have the power to do influential things very fast once i figure things out

#whatever. heal da wirrrlll #catdrain #i think. we can figure it out. it's jus that we're very torn & distracted. & have been angry for so long #& i know things will change soon but it jus sucks. i love this country i love the people in it but man. we suck. half so prideful the other #half so ashamed. potpourri of our collective shadows we don't ever confront

promised myself that i'm gonna fix up my notes from last sy so i can share it with upcoming humss students but i also keep going 'but what's the point'

#there were already so many from years ago who have posted and shared theirs #except theirs weren't as detailed; just the general summary for each topic #and mine are more detailed and i'm also contemplating translating them to tagalog #like this could serve as y'know. notes they could refer to to prepare themselves for the upcoming topics they'd tackle #but also...would i be robbing them of the experience to learn things on the pace their own teachers are setting?#in my own experience i only sought notes in the first few weeks of classes to ease myself into each subs and to learn what i'd be-#getting myself into #but i had fun just anticipating the upcoming topics without knowing anything about them #idk...is this just the result of me constantly mourning the state of the educational system in terms of the garbage curriculum and the-#general unpreparedness of most youths in choosing their tracks especially after the setback that the pandemic has brought on that are still #not given attention to by this garbage administration #combine that with the study of humanities & social science being looked down/underestimated by most filipinos #no wonder they're picking the stupidest and useless politicians & public servants. no wonder they're not paying much attention to the-#credentials of people they're electing to lead the country. ngayon letche-letche HGGSGAHSHAJS #anyway so many of the humss students i know chose careers that aren't consistent with their track and it's sad to see. sayang 2 years my-#loves :')#sigh......gonna do it now anyway #brain be very scattered rn. hate that <3 #catdrain #rambles #non fandom

'Nabuo na ulit ang [redacted], ngunit ngayon bitbit na nila ang labi ng kanilang bunso.'

#searched up his death coverage from here out of curiosity last night and when i tell you i CRIED #who wrote that line i just wanna talk #there were more banger lines but this one made me fucking BAWL. this shit would be bouncing around my brain forever #catdrain #u can develop an interest over a legendary pop icon. but watch out

sigh maybe i'm just not meant to be a character playlist girlie...

#edited the video to remove the song titles and artists in case that is how yt detects them but alas...blocked again #kept wondering why i see the same songs again and again in the hundreds of playlists i've seen posted before #it's probably because there are only a few songs that won't get the vids blocked lol #gonna try to slow the songs down to see if that could help but honestly probably no #is spotify still worth it btw i've deleted my account since the r0gan thing #i'd loathe to actually make an account again but i've spent a lot of time arranging these playlists....#ahh utter clownery rn maybe i should just stick to edits lmao #catdrain

also good evening my legs fucking hurt

#i'm like a 4-legged baby animal learning how to walk my legs are WOBBLY #i've been huddled up in my room for days now bc i fucking hate it here everyone is horrible and it's school break so i have. nowhere to go.#like i just went out last week to settle some stuff in enrollment for next sy and had to stay there for 4 hours it was So Bad #but i went for a walk for a few minutes outside thinking it was gonna help with my mental state but that is False <3 #not only does it not improve my brain i am now experiencing Pain that is Physical!! love it here /j #catdrain

mark... reblogged an unus annus post.......

#wasn't expecting to cry today but here we fucking are goddamnit #pain :')))))))#this is okaaaaay this is okaaaay i'm over it i'm over it #.... i'm not #i'm not over it #time for another crying session #GOD FUCKING DAMNIT IT MARK #catdrain #markiplier

'take her to the moon' by moira dela torre literally fits on samfro (+rosie) what the fuck

#bye gonna cry about this til i die #'in heaven by the rainbow's end' fUCKING. VALINOR.#i hate this is hate everyone i am in pain #rambles #catdrain #samfro #frodo baggins #samwise gamgee #lotr

my brain went like "hey u remember 'Rites of Passage' by willow-wode?" and all the pain came back - knowing that i could never read all of the chapters in the "Bag End" book or even read one (1) chapter of RoP3/"Rivers and Smials" is so genuinely painful I'm actually crying. Like yee some of it's saved on the Wayback Machine and I could just download all that's been left but still,,, knowing that it was actually finished by the author but everything got taken down and I would never know everything that happened and how it ended is just,,,, i'm in literal agony

#it was such a brilliant fanfic :((#i remember reading it non-stop #and getting so disappointed that it wasn't finished #BUT IT ACTUALLY WAS FINISHED #but the original site where it used to be doesn't open/work anymore??#this is so fucking painful #yes i'm crying over fanfics now what about it #catdrain

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