I would like to write a really short classic IT AU where Santana is IT for a small media/production company and she keeps getting calls about really simple easy to fix shit all the time and she's fed up with everyone at the company
And then Brittany appears in IT Goblin Lair and is like "Hi, my computer won't turn on?" and Santana is like fuck omg jesus christ and then looks up and is immediately in "right away ma'am yes of course" mode and they go to Brittany's desk and turns out she just assumed the wrong thing was the power button
but then Brittany calls everyday being like "my mouse is missing :((( I think a cat got in and ate it :(((" or "I forgot my password can you log me in?" (the password thing lasts one metric week and Santana stops changing the password and just memorizes it herself and goes up every morning because Brittany has coffee waiting for her and they can have a lil chat after she enters it for Brittany) and Santana is yelling angry when anyone calls because they have a virus or the computer is genuinely malfunctioning but Brittany comes by to be like "My volume is too loud :((" and Santana is like oh of course lemme finish with this FUCKING ASSHOLE and i'll be right there
And this whole time Santana has been assuming Brittany is in HR or marketing or something simple because when Santana pointed out that she had a dual monitor set up Brittany got distraught because she wouldn't know what to do if her monitors started duelling
Turns out Brittany is the new head of the editing department and outside of the first day where she genuinely couldn't find the power button she was just bullshitting so that Santana would come hangout with her and Santana wants to sob because Brittany knows so many keyboard shortcuts she doesn't even need a mouse
"Would you love me if I was a worm?" Brittany asks one night, pulling on the toes of Santana's socks. A movie glows on the television screen and they're sprawled out as a tangle of bodies across the couch.
Santana laughs as she takes her eyes away from the screen to devote some attention to her girlfriend, "What are you going on about, Britt?"
"'You need sex or else you get all weepy so I'm not saying you can't date other people if I was a worm." Brittany informs her, eyes staring at the far away garden her thoughts grow in.
"Of course you aren't."
Brittany nods, happy that they're clear on that subject, "I'm just saying if you love me, you'd make sure I could watch with my worm eyes."
A smile spills over Santana and she leans in, grabbing Brittany's hand with a squeeze, "I'll build you a worm throne to watch from."
"And then, if you put me in a pot with a flower, I'll work hard to make it the bestest flower. I'd be so good as being a worm."
"The best," Santana agrees, pulling her legs from Brittany's lap and finding a new way to get as close to Brittany as a physical body can allow.
Adjusting her arms to wrap around Santana a little better, Brittany continues. Her eyes glitter as she thinks, "You could just wash me off and kiss me whenever you want. Maybe throw me on a safe part of a street when it rains so I can chill in the water. Worms really like that so it must be fun."
Happy just to hold and be held, Santana manages out a little "mmm" from low in her throat.
Fingers bury in dark hair to scratch long slow lines along her scalp, "I think worms are like the fish of dirt so you could take me anywhere if you fill your pocket with dirt."
"That'd be messy. I'd get you a little glass case full of dirt."
"Very stylish," Brittany glows and laughs as she considers it, "I think any dirt is fine. Premium dirt is just a thing Big Dirt advertises to trick us away from buying shovels instead. But it can't be the gross kind - the dirty kind of dirt."
Laughing at Brittany's face wrinkling with disgust, "I'll make gourmet homemade dirt for you," Santana promises, crossing her heart with a quick gesture.
Brittany blushes, a soft pinking at her nose and ears. "You're the best girlfriend ever."
Santana knows that face means a free kiss and she claims it from Brittany's lips with a happy satisfaction, "Would you love me if I was a worm?" She asks as she relaxes back into the comfort of their pressed together bodies.
Hands pause in their absent scratching. The room holds as Brittany takes her time to thoroughly consider it. Santana tries to confine her giggle in the curl of her lips.
"No."
Santana gasps at the sudden betrayal.
"I'd devote my life to extending your worm lifespan to give me the time to dewormify you and get human you back. Loving worm you in the meantime is cheating." Brittany follows up, utterly pleased with herself.
"Well, I didn't know dewormifying was an option."
"It is, for me." Brittany holds both of Santana's hands and lets her down slowly, "You're just not the type to develop a cure for wormification."
Profoundly wounded and utterly devastated, Santana places a hand on her chest and gasps again.
"But I still love you. I love you, all of you, no matter what." Brittany promises, holding Santana's gaze with a tender adoration.
Santana melts away under it, "I love you too, Britt," she whispers back, stealing another kiss from the infinite reserve of them that Brittany keeps just for her.
"That's why it's okay you won't try to dewormify me." Brittany says into the small spaces between their kisses.
I want to participate in Glee December thingy but I fear if I write anything besides the 3 things I currently have on the go then one of my mutuals will hire a sniper squad and have me executed in the town square
The urge to write a Brittana fic where one of them is a mechanic so I can be painfully accurate about what that shit is actually like is so strong and also its a FANTASTIC excuse to write the world's horniest oil change and make it just NEEDLESSLY sexy
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
And I continue to make good on my Gleektober2025 ambitions without even kind of paying attention to what day it is.
Moment from Band AU that doesn’t deserve any special attention or has any narrative importance so I carved it out to live on its own.
This fuckass bitch @campymonkey keeps telling me to do shit... it feels like a hostage situation. Turns out On Repeat is a playlist on spotify so here is 10 from that:
Prodigal Daughter - Lights
I'm just really horny on instinct for biblical metaphors. I think that says something bad about my character
Scotty Doesn't Know - Maddie Ross
I really like Scotty Doesn't Know and I really like female covers where they don't change the pronouns idk shoutout to Glee
Cool Kids - LIZOT Remix
Speaking of Glee, I really like this because it wants me to listen to the Glee cover but only Becca Tobin's part. The rest of the GCV can get fucked.
Bury Me Face Down - grandson
I used to be really obsessed with Dark Country and this does that for me a lil. IDK grandson makes bangers
good luck, babe! - senses
It is the actually genuinely like one of my favourite covers of anything ever in a long time. this fucks so hard, this fucks so hard someone needs to call the cops on it for how hard it fucks. OG good luck babe sounds.. taunting? This just sounds mad and im obsessed.
Scatterbrain - Emei
honestly whatever is going for the beat n shit is so subtle but it just really tickles the noggin if you lock in on it
LET'S GET FKD UP -Alok, Mondello'G, Ceres, Tribbs
I like high bpms
Tornado in Dallas - Zotiyac
Probably one of the most lyrically clever rap songs of all too
The Wrote & The Writ
Its so incredibly for me. Its about me and it is also by me and it is me.
Ciel- FouKi, Alicia Moffet
J'me suis perdu dans la ciel. C'est vibecore
I have like... so few mutuals @stainedcateyes @notahumanweirdo @brittanagirlcrush if you would like
