#catypus

[the-rambling-cat-enthusiast]

@clumsy-platypus, why did you choose this url when we both know you’re not the clumsy one between the two of us? I mean, I hit my leg so hard on the side of my bed yesterday I started to bleed and I almost fell of my chair today when I reached for the water on the table.

[the-rambling-cat-enthusiast]

Friends in the same boat:

Me: Are you there Wednesday afternoon?

My friend: I got driving theory lesson at 2 and 3pm and I'm on my period.

Me: Well, I have a driving lesson from 10am to 12pm and I'm on my period too. Wanna go bowling?

[the-rambling-cat-enthusiast]

Me, an useless French texting her friend:

Me: AHSGOQLSHWKSLSAAJS!! I'M SO STUPID OH MY GOD AHA AHA AH.

Me: I was just having a mental breakdown like "What the fuck is a coffee shop called in French?!!"

Me: And then "oh. A café."

My friend: Wow...

Me: Shut up, it was super disturbing.

My friend: No it's not. *sighing emoji*

Me: IT IS.

My friend: No.

Me: YES.

My friend: No.

Me: POTATO.

My friend: Stop yelling at me.

Me: NO.

My friend: Yes.

Me: ANARCHY.

[the-rambling-cat-enthusiast]

A casual conversation between friends:

Me: I fucking love fire. I could watch it burn for hours.

My friend: Set fire to your house. It'll burn for hours.

Me: No, I like my house.

[the-rambling-cat-enthusiast]

When you realize your friend has a lot of embarrassing pics of you:

Me: Seriously, I hope you'll never want to blackmail me because I gave you so much blackmail material.

[the-rambling-cat-enthusiast]

Me, a supportive friend:

My friend: There is a really hot guy sitting next to me!

Me, one hour later: Good for you

[the-rambling-cat-enthusiast]

Me, after reading something emotional:

Me: I feel like an actual human being. Y'know, with emotions.

My friend: Emotions? Nope. Never heard of that.

[the-rambling-cat-enthusiast]

A random chat between me and my friend:

Me: Brown hair is strange.

My friend *looking at my brown hair*: Did you just say that brown hair is strange?? You do realise you have brown hair right?

Me: I said brown?

My friend: Yes.

Me: Hm. I meant silver hair.

My friend: What the actual fuck?