#caw.txt

[wolfisblank]

Hate when you're like an hour into a video and the creator suddenly drops an r-slur or a "narcissist" or something. Can I refund my watchtime

[girlprince-extraordinaire]

In 3rd grade I had this one friend who, looking back, was like an older brother to me. He was only one year older than me and in the same grade, but I looked up to him like how people look at siblings. He had an autistic little sister who he was very attuned to. In 4th grade, before he switched schools, he told me I was a lot like her, and that the reason he liked me so much was that he learned so much from his sister's therapist, and loved being able to apply it on me. He taught me a few things about emotional regulation that I still use to this day.

One day, he randomly asked me what my biggest fear was. He was probably just being edgy, he did that kind of thing a lot. I didn't have any particular fears at the time, no aversion to bugs or heights, no nothing. After thinking for quite a while, long enough that the line we were waiting at at the cafeteria was over, I told him "Like, I dunno, dying?" and he hated that answer. He went on an edgy spiel about how dying would be a mercy, and that we should fear things that are in life. This was back when I was discovering my own vitriol for religion, so the way he spoke of a lack of afterlife so confidently made me hang on his every word.

This became a running gag, where every time the conversation drew stale, he would ask me what my biggest fear was. The first few times, I said that it was nothing. He got fussy about that being a boring answer, so I started saying random things. He didn't like that I was brushing him off though, so he started asking why I was scared of the random things I named. I'd have to come up with things. Here's some that I remember.

Chairs, for having legs not unlike that of a small cage. We small children could get stuck under them.

The blackboard, for making eerie noises occasionally. Maybe it'll fall and crush someone one day.

The teacher not of our class but the other one, for being mean and manhandling my coat onto me instead of telling me to wear it that one time.

The coat hanger in the back of the class, because you could fall forward and poke your eye out.

I don't think this game was one of his many psychological exercises, but thinking back, it influenced the way I see the world a lot. If you focus on one thing so much, you can see it everywhere in the world. You can be afraid of virtually anything.

[dreamcrow]

i am going. to become Deranged

[courviknight]

hey to my best friend in my childhood, i love you and miss you each day… i’m sad we don’t talk anymore, i hope you know that i still think of you from time to time, what you’re up to, and if the world has been kind to you and your family. thank you for being a part of my life, my door is always open for you, no questions asked

[jinxxedcorvid]

everyone who complained owes each rtvs member 5 hundred dollars

[crxwes]

Happy new year my loves 🐧

[cawcawcaw]

i need ts teaser or i'll die

[spamtonromantic]

i wish we got snow here