Summary: Summer confesses her feelings for Jude after keeping him at arm's length for so long
A/N: Thank you to @greyfawnie for proofreading my fic
Kai stared, his eyes shooting daggers from across the room, still angry from last night’s phone call. I was already fucking annoyed: I didn’t have time for Kai to judge me 3 feet away, the music was already too loud, the room smelt damp and sour, it was a million degrees inside, and I hated it.
“Do you even care how much you hurt Jude?” His voice was shrill, seething silently from the other end of the line.
“Jude and I are just frien-”
“Bullshit, Summer! For whatever reason, Jude really fucking loves you. Somehow, after all the caginess and the unreliability, he still gives a fuck about you. And you don’t even care!”
What did Kai know about love? He was always on and off with Aria, always fucking around with some poor girl to make her jealous, knowing he would inevitably repeat the cycle.
“You’re one of my best friends, but Jude’s my brother. If you wanna be casual, that’s fine, but he doesn’t deserve to be lied to or used. He’s made it very clear how much he cares about you, but you keep him on a fucking chain, and it’s not right. If you actually care about him, you would be honest with him. It’s the least he deserves.”
I knew Jude cared about me. That was the worst part of this whole situation. He was always taking care of me, always gentle, always comforting me, making sure I was safe. I was constantly waiting for him to slip up, to break my heart or something, but he never did. And I hated it. None of this was fair to him.
My heart raced as I made way to Jude. Suddenly it felt like a million people were crowding the room. It was way too fucking hot in here; I felt like I was gonna throw up or faint as I stood in front of him.
“I need to talk to you,” I said, already leading him outside.
The cold ocean air whipped my face as I stood there in front of him. I could still hear Whitesnake blaring inside the room, and all I could think about was how I was gonna murder Kai if he was wrong. What if I was just a casual fling for Jude? What if he was sick of me by now? He could have a new girlfriend or fling right now! He could be meeting up with some girl after his show, and there would be nothing I could do about it!
“I haven’t been fair to you, Jude. I’m sorry”. I didn’t even look at him when I spoke. I couldn’t.
“What are you talking about?”
“When we first started talking, I was so prepared for you just to be another asshole. I was waiting for you to break my heart; I was practically pleading for it. But you’re so fucking kind. No matter what I’ve done to you, you’re always so nice and gentle. You don’t yell at me, you don’t force me to do shit, you don’t criticize me, you don’t hurt me, and that terrifies me. And I’m so sorry that I’ve been such a bitch to you and all I do is keep you at arms length-”
“Summer-”
“And I understand if you hate me, because if you treated me the way I treat you, I would be so fucking pissed. But just need you to know that I really do love you and-”
“Summer! Just listen to me, please!”
I was crying by this point, and I cried even harder when Jude put his arms around my shoulders. I could smell the Country Apple body splash and the surf wax clinging to his clothes as he pulled me closer.
“I’m not upset with you, Jewels,” he paused for a second before regaining himself.
“When Mindy died, I really thought that was it for me. I was either gonna join her, or I was just gonna spend the rest of my life alone because what was left for me after that? But no matter what you think about yourself, Summer, you’re such a bright light to everybody you meet. You’re accepting and authentic; you don’t care what anyone says about you or anyone else. You’re always so patient and kind; you’re sarcastic and stubborn, you’re a million things at once, and I want every single one of them. What are you so scared of, Summer?”
I was scared of every fucking thing. It was all too much to tell him. I never really cared too much for the guys I dated, breaking up with them after a week to save myself from the heart. I don’t even think I could call what Jake did to me love. The only person I had a semblance of a good relationship with was a girl, so I never knew what to do with a guy that actually cared about me. Jude’s love wasn’t forceful or cruel, just patient and delicate. What was I supposed to do with someone like that?
“I don’t know how to love someone like you do.” I kept my eyes on the concrete, trying not to look at him as I spoke. I sounded like a child.
“I could show you,” The metal from his piercing felt cold against my lips as he kissed me.
“You deserve to be loved, Summer. Just let me take care of you.”
Designing demons is hard. You can tell I was really trying to feel out what I wanted the baby form to look like since I was taking a lot of inspiration from various lizards...I think you can also tell that I don't design nonhuman creatures very often. It was harder than I thought, but I came out with something. I think a lot of us want this man to have a happy and calm life.
I do not have a name for them, btw I have no idea what WR would've called 'em.
I Showed My Friends, Then We High-Fived (Sorry If you Feel Objectified)
(or, 2.2k of Evie being obsessed with Finn)
aka the one where Tinsley hears about Evie & Finn's first time – crossover with @cecexwrites in a The Devil's Paparazzi AU
Warnings: teen pregnancy; somewhat explicit sexual content; referenced past non-con & child sexual abuse (not the explicit content); underage sex
Finn hadn’t been surprised when Tinsley claimed the couch – and Evie – and left he and Theo with the desk chair and low bench. As much as he always wanted Evie within reach, this was Tinsley and Theo’s first night with them and the girls needed their time too. But still. Evie belonged with him, curled up with her legs tangled with his – or better yet, on his lap, with his hand on her stomach. Not Tinsley’s.
But that wasn’t a fight he was going to win.
And then Evie had looked at him, all wide eyes and perfect pout, and asked him for one of the strawberry tarts they had at the hotel restaurant. Which, yes, he could have ordered with room service, but he could also take a hint. He had a pretty good feeling that he knew why Evie wanted some privacy.
So he told Theo to put on his shoes, and off they went.
And just as the door was closing, he turned back to hear a loud “oh my god!” from Tinsley and saw a blushing Evie shoving her away, and he knew that he was right. He smirked to himself, and let the door click shut.
–––
With Theo already in the hallway and Finn halfway out the door, Evie figured it was safe to tell Tinsley her news.
She leaned in close, closer than they already were, to whisper to her.
“Finn and I had sex.”
“Oh my god!” Tinsley squealed, tackling her into the arm of the couch.
Evie could feel herself blushing. She pushed Tinsley off, but Tinsley grabbed her wrist and pulled her in until Evie was on her lap.
“Oh my god,” Tinsley repeated. “Okay, okay wait, when? How many times? How was it? Evie!”
“Tinsley,” Evie whined.
“Don’t ‘Tinsley’ me, Eves. You had sex with Finn!” She paused, suddenly serious. “You… you did want it, right? It wasn’t just the whole pregnancy thing, or hormones, or feeling like you owed him?”
“Finn wouldn’t–“
“Finn wouldn’t do anything that you say you don’t want. I trust him. I don’t know if you would tell him that you don’t want something.”
Oh. Evie blinked at her. That was an entirely fair assessment, and she didn’t know how to feel about it.
“I wanted it. Him. I wanted him.”
Tinsley squealed again.
“Okay wait, hold on. This is a bed conversation.”
Evie agreed, untangling herself from Tinsley and waiting for her help to stand up. After a longer moment than usual — being pregnant had made everything slower than she was used to — they were comfortably relocated to the king sized bed.
They were sitting on top of the covers but Tinsley had pulled a cozy knit blanket over them, their legs tangled and Evie leaning comfortably on Tinsley’s chest, Tinsley’s hand warm on her baby bump.
“Okay,” Tinsley said, once she had deemed them properly set up. “Spill. How was it?”
Evie’s face was burning, hidden in Tinsley’s shoulder.
“Big,” she whispered. “He’s so fucking big, Tinnie.”
Tinsley gasped, delighted.
“How big are we talking?”
“I didn’t, like, measure him. But… I didn’t think it would fit. And I felt so full… it was like, I could feel him in my stomach, almost. I half expected to be able to see it, too.”
“That would be the baby.” Evie shoved Tinsley lightly.
“I didn’t way that I could actually see him, just that it felt like I could. I’ve never… he was so big.”
“Long or thick?”
Tinsley sounded far too excited, but Evie had been waiting for the chance to talk about everything with her. She couldn’t let embarrassment stop her.
“Both?”
“Honestly, that somehow doesn’t surprise me. Does he know how to use it, though?”
Evie nodded emphatically.
“I didn’t know girls could,” her voice dropped back to a whisper, “orgasm. I didn’t know it was supposed to actually feel good at all.”
Oh, her poor, sweet girl. Granted, Tinsley didn’t have any practical experience to reference, but the fact that Evie had lost her virginity five years ago, gotten pregnant, and still didn’t know that sex could be enjoyable just broke her heart.
But that was a conversation for another time. Instead –
“Come on,” Tinsley whined, making Evie giggle. “Where’s the detail? The smut? The storytelling?”
“Tinsley,” Evie whined back, drawing out her name. “I don’t know!”
“Okay, okay. Start at the beginning. Tell me about your day?”
“It was a good day,” Evie smiled, finally tilting her head up to actually look at her best friend. “We spent the morning on the beach, I was wearing that bathing suit you got me. The one with the lace back.”
Tinsley nodded approvingly. Evie had been too self conscious to even try it on when Tinsley first gifted it to her, but Tinsley had stood firm that the adjustable back would make it a blessing while spending several months on vacation, and had been equally insistent that Finn would appreciate the view. She had been right.
“He was being so sweet, he kept talking to little Beanie and giving me strawberries… It was just nice. We had lunch, then I really needed a nap. Finn said he had something to take care of but that he would be back before I woke up. And he was. He just got in bed to hold me for a while and then told me he had a surprise planned. He had made us a reservation and this restaurant with the most gorgeous beach view, and the something that he was taking care of was getting me a new dress, and a necklace.”
She was rambling, she knew that she was rambling, but it had been the most magical night of her life and all she’d wanted since then was to tell Tinsley.
Judging by Tinsley’s beaming smile as she massaged Evie’s stomach, she didn’t mind the rambling.
“They were perfect. I know you guys say that the bump is cute, and sometimes I don’t feel as bad about is as I expected, but… this was the first time I really felt beautiful. Maybe ever. Everything was so perfect. I was like, really overwhelmed by the menu so he ordered for me, this really delicious, homemade pasta. And… eating was hard. I felt so pretty in my dress and I didn’t want to get bloated, and I’d had so many strawberries that morning, but Finn made it better. He reminded me that Beanie needed me to eat, he always tells me that, but then he also told me that no matter how I look or how much I weigh, I would always be the most beautiful girl in the world to him.”
“Eves, sweetie.”
Evie hadn’t even realized she was tearing up until Tinsley was gently wiping those tears from the corner of her eyes.
“Finn is right, okay? You’re so beautiful, and you deserve everything good in the world.”
Evie cuddled in closer to her.
“No more sad,” she decided. “Afterwards, we got ice cream and walked down the beach, and he made me stop because he said I looked too perfect not to photograph.”
Tinsley cooed and Evie blushed, smiling at the reaction.
“He’s just, he’s so sweet, Tinnie. Anyways, we got back to the hotel and he was helping to unzip my dress, and then he kissed the back of my neck and, oh my god.”
“And then?”
“Usually I get changed in the bathroom. But, I don’t know. I felt good, and he was looking at me like I was special, so I just let the dress drop right there. I’ve never heard his voice so low, but he asked if he could touch me, and I said yes. He put his hands on my hips – holy shit, I had never realized how big his hands are, too.”
Tinsley was just about vibrating in her excitement, or maybe impatience.
“He turned me around. He was so gentle, and slow, I think he was waiting for me to change my mind. I didn’t.”
She sounded so proud of herself, and Tinsley couldn’t help but interrupt.
“That’s really brave of you, Eves. I’m proud of you.”
Evie’s smile was blinding, lighting up her whole face as she continued.
“He just looked at me, for a bit. Then he kissed me. We’ve kissed before, but it felt different. I don’t know. Our lips were still kind of touching, but he just said ‘hi, pretty girl,” and kissed me again. Then he knelt down–“
“Oh my god!”
“He didn’t propose, T! He just… he kissed my stomach, and told Beanie how lucky she is to have such a perfect mama.”
“Hold on, she?”
“We don’t know-know. But I have a feeling.”
“You would be so good with a baby girl,” Tinsley said, looking down at her stomach.
“Beanie will be perfect no matter what but… a baby girl would be so cute. The clothes are better.”
Tinsley nodded seriously; there were so many more cute outfits for baby girls.
“Okay, wait, we were just getting to the good part.”
Evie giggled.
“He talked to Beanie for a bit first. Then he looked up – he looked so good – and asked if he could touch me. I didn’t really know what he meant but I said okay, and he told me to stop him if I changed my mind. And then he kissed me. Like, there.”
Tinsley gasped.
“Under or over?”
“Over my underwear. It was just really sweet. It didn’t even feel sexual, not really. I cried.”
“Good tears, I hope?”
“I don’t know. But… it was the first time anyone’s ever touched me there without hurting me. It was just a lot.”
“Sweetheart–“
“It’s okay,” Evie said quickly. “At least right now it is. I started crying and he stood up immediately, brought me over to the bed, and just held me in his lap while I cried. We talked about it, a bit. He told me it was okay if I wasn’t ready – if I’m not ever ready.”
“The only acceptable answer.”
“Mhm. But I told him that he made me feel safe, that I wanted to try. With him. He called me his sweet girl. Then he got me to lay down, and he put a pillow under my hips, and he… with his mouth.”
Tinsley squealed.
“He ate you out?”
“You don’t have to say it,” Evie hissed, her blush coming back full force. “But, yes. It was so good. So good. I… he made me, you know, orgasm. I was so confused, but he helped me understand. Then he asked if I wanted it to happen again.”
She wiggled a bit in Tinsley’s lap, not sure if she was feeling shy about telling her or excited from talking about it.
“I said yes.”
Tinsley’s smile was so wide it had to hurt.
“Okay, then what?”
“His fingers. Three – it might have been four of them, I was distracted. Then he asked… he asked if I wanted more.”
“Oh my–“
“I said yes,” she repeated. “He was… he was so fucking careful. I didn’t know it could be like that. He was really slow, and he kept telling me that I could stop him if it hurt. And he kept kissing me, and his hands…”
“His hands?”
“One of them was on the bed, to hold himself up. The other…” she looked pointedly at her chest, then back at Tinsley, unable to say the words out loud.
“And you liked it?”
“It was new. It was nice. Then he was, like, all the way. You know? It did hurt a bit, kind of pinchy, but he made it okay. I was so full, it was hard to breathe. But, in a good way. I don’t know.”
Tinsley waited, impatient but trying not to rush her.
“It felt right. I don’t know, like I was made to fit him. Like, like my life finally made sense.”
Evie sounded so fucking fond, Tinsley almost didn’t want to distract her. But –
“So, how was it?”
“Amazing. He wasn’t too hard, but it felt so deep. And he did this thing… I don’t know, exactly. He put his hand kind of just below my stomach, you know? And pressed down. It made everything feel so much better. So much more. Then he moved his hand lower, to my… you know...” She took a deep breath. “To my clit. And he kind of like, massaged it? And then I had another orgasm.”
“Two? I guess he’s not all talk.”
“Three, actually.” Tinsley squealed even louder than before. “He kept going, a bit faster, maybe a bit harder, but not enough that it hurt. And then he finished. And he kind of, maybe, ate me out again?”
“Oh my god! Evie!”
Whatever Evie might have said next was interrupted by the sound of the door clicking open, the boys returning with Evie’s tart and a few desserts for the rest of them.
“So,” Finn said, putting the tart down on the bedside table. He climbed onto the bed, wrapping his arms around Evie’s waist and pulling her out of Tinsley’s hold onto his own lap. Tinsley’d had her turn; he wanted his Evie back. “What were you two talking about? We could hear Tinsley from the elevators.”
The girls exchanged a look then, with matching innocent smiles, chorused “nothing.”
