okay...... okay....... it's almost my turn to audition... i can do this. i can do this.
Stage Manager: You got this. (exits scene)
thank you five...
— Five Minutes Later —
it's time to win...! let's go.
*sound of my heels echo throughout the empty auditorium as i walk onstage to face the panel of judges*
Judge 1: Alright, name?
u-um... shitney... My name is Shitney Poostain, and i'm here to audition for the role of cetooddles in the #cetooddles sweepstakes...
Judge 2: You and everyone else, dearie! (incessant cackling)
*nervous laughing* h-haha... yeah...
Judge 1: So what is your talent? What is your post that you will be auditioning?
well, i can sing and dance...
Judge 3: Are you able to show us any of this talent?
noooo.... ❤️ *brushes hair behind ear*
Judges: (collective sigh)
Judge 2: Honey, if you want to pass this audition, you've got to give us something!
i-i know! i know... don't worry. i've got something that will REALLY knock your socks off.
Judge 1: And what is that?
well, take a look... *pulls a cylinder out from my ?????????*
Judge 2: Ooh, fancy! What does it do?
well sharks, this is my new product... it's called a flash bang...
Judge 3: Whaaa?
....
....
....
*when the screen fades from white, all the judges are slumped over dead on the judges' table*
...so did i get the part? oh my gosh...! *starts jumping up and down*
— Triumphant music plays as I walk offstage —
Terry Crews, host of America's Got Talent: How do you feel now that you know you're going to Hollywood? (directs microphone toward actor)
i-it's unbelievable... i can't believe it, i can't wait to share my talent with the rest of the world!
Terry Crews: You did it, Shitney. You're still in the running to become America's Next Ms. Squee, and we're all expecting amazing things from you in the semifinals.
thank you...!