A to Z with CFDD
aka The Alphabet According to Careful Fear and Dead Devotion
Today is the birthday of one of my favorite people, the incomparable @anxious-acushla who is the writer of my favorite story, Careful Fear and Dead Devotion. To celebrate, please enjoy this alphabetical commemoration of the story (many, many spoilers under the cut, so proceed with caution if you’re not caught up (and why aren’t you caught up?)). If you are a CFDD fan like me, suggest a contribution to the alphabet (I limited myself to one word per letter) and wish Elle a Happy Birthday.
Happy Birthday, Elle, love you to the moon and back!
Assassination - the crime that kicks off the story, which opens on the one year anniversary of the assassination of Ned Stark, the Vice President of Westeros.
Banana Chocolate Chip Pancakes - the breakfast food Gendry’s mom made for him and he makes for Arya, breaking her habit of existing on protein drinks and tea.
Cherry Blossoms - one of the most DC like of King’s Landing landmarks (and a great example of CFDD’s tag line, “If King’s Landing was Washington, D.C….”) Their return marks the passage of time in the eponymous chapter; the one that sparked my obsession with this story. Seriously, go back and read it to discover how many plot points are hinted at. It also marks the beginning of Arya and Gendry's tentative friendship.
Dermot Kennedy - CFDD introduced me to his music and provided the perfect soundtrack (and titles) for so many chapters. Trivia question: how many chapters take their titles from Dermot Kennedy lyrics?
Elevator - place of one of Jon’s youthful indiscretions that was caught on tape; what I thought was a throw away joke echoes with deeper meaning later in the story.
“Fucked up” - Jon’s description of Arya that made me (and many other readers) so frustrated that I kept harping on it chapter after chapter.
Gun - Arya is fascinated that Gendry carries a gun in chapter 3 and by chapter 5, Gendry has gifted Arya one of her own (does he know her or what?) Gendry’s teaching Arya to shoot is one of the first of many, “Is it getting hot in here?” scenes.
Home - One of the recurring themes explored through the story is what is “home”: is it a place, person or concept? Gendry and Arya’s discovery of the home and haven in each other is beautifully realized.
Inn at Little Citadel - site of a mega uncomfortable dinner between Jon and Arya. Most memorable to me for Arya ordering a cheap beer and savoring it because it tastes like Gendry.
Jon Snow - the perfectly realized foil to Arya and Gendry’s relationship. Although not a villain on the Cersei/Robert level, Elle does a fantastic job of creating a love to hate him character while still giving him some heart, emotion, and ability to heal from his own trauma.
Kitchens -the site of many memorable scenes (see pantsless arson, baking in Volantis, kissing in Kings Landing, family bonding in Winterfell, and one particularly memorable food fight in White Harbor). The saying “the kitchen is the heart of a home” definitely applies to Gendry and Arya (though bathrooms and bedrooms are equally important).
Lovers - the beating heart of this story (for all its fascinating political machinations and intrigue) is the love story between Arya and Gendry. Elle never forgets this and while it is most definitely the best kind of slow burn, she also allows them the space and time to fall in love and luxuriate in each other’s presence.
Mysteries - Multiple mysteries play out over the course of the story, each one well thought out and constructed. The scene in Chapter 18 where Gendry and Arya put everything together and the pieces fall into place for the reader is so very compelling. The idea of these two crazy kids taking down a presidency still tickles me to no end.
Nothing - What Jon Snow knows to hilarious and then painful effect as he teases Gendry about his loud hookups, never realizing his partner is Arya until (in a scene I went crazy for) Arya enlightens him as only she can: “In case it wasn’t clear,” Arya spat, “the girl you heard screaming the other night? Because she was getting fucked good and hard? That was me.”
Outnumbered - the Dermot Kennedy song whose lyrics provide multiple chapter titles is the perfect musical accompaniment to this story. Never more than in the chapter named for it. Elle has heard this story before, but I literally ditched a group of friends to go home and read the Outnumbered chapter when it dropped. It is a decision I will never regret.
Pantsless Arson - the meet-cute that initially brings Arya and Gendry together; reread Chapter 1 for more detail and then marvel at the deadly serious echoes of that initial fire in later chapters.
Questions - the master of the cliffhanger left me with questions after almost every chapter (and oftentimes in chapters as well). Elle’s tendency to hint at things rather than state them outright in her stories drew me in like a moth to the flame.
“Rip It” - Arya’s command to Gendry when she’s wearing her emerald green silk dress kicks off one of the most long awaited, well deserved love scenes.
Shower - Bless these two and their need to keep things clean for their many memorable shower scenes (together and apart) And to think it started with Gendry wrapped in a towel telling Arya that she had the bladder of a tiny puppy while Arya tried to ignore Gendry bare torso. Her initial reaction, “Ew” (yeah, Arya, keep telling yourself that).
Tropes upon tropes (aka all the tropes) - this story has them all: enemies to friends to lovers, tall and smol, only one bed, fake dating, kissing to avoid detection, pining, angst, crime fighting duo, in love with my best friend’s sister, misunderstandings, and more.
Undressing - although the two undress each other and undress for each other many, many times, it is never sexier than when Gendry undresses a soaking wet Arya after rescuing her from a rainstorm. The entire set piece is swooningly romantic, especially when he unzips her drenched, thigh high black suede boots.
Volantis - the sleepy seaside town where Gendry bares his secrets to Arya and they grow closer. Bonus, it’s also heavily featured in the one shot in the same universe, Keeping Promises. In which Arya and Gendry return to Volantis and take care of some unfinished business.
White Harbor - The feeling of relief and anticipation when these two are finally reunited at Gendry’s luxury penthouse in White Harbor is overwhelming. Their getting reacquainted after some tense time apart was such a relief.
eXtra Crispy Gendry - Even if I knew in my heart of hearts that Gendry wouldn’t go out (or become hideously disfigured, “No, not the face!”) in a fiery car crash, the eXtra crispy Gendry jokes were lots of fun.
Ygritte - Jon’s girlfriend is so much more than Jon’s girlfriend in this story. She’s a badass, truth telling ninja who provides a spark and much needed real talk (and action).
Zeppelin, Led - Gendry’s repeated choice of music on their road trip to Volantis in spite of Arya’s derision. Their time in Gendry’s tricked out car listening to Led Zeppelin Nirvana brought out the playful side of the couple.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY ELLE AND GOOD RIDDANCE TO THIS DUMPSTER FIRE OF A YEAR! HERE’S TO A FAR BETTER 2021!
