swedish house mafia -- greyhound & sigala -- easy love & daoko -- haikei-goodbye-sayonara & draper ft. milck -- reaction & imani williams -- don’t need no money & blonde -- all cried out & dua lipa -- scared to be lonely & tommy trash -- reload & capsule -- another world & steve aoki -- free the madness & tough love -- pony & disciples -- on my mind & steve aoki -- lightning strikes & perfume -- flash & capsule -- hero
DIARY'S HERA、THE NATION'S GIRL NEXT DOOR FROM TWO BLOCKS AWAY
>> some headcanons about heera’s public persona; 721w
1. be down to earth! diary’s charm lies in their down-to-earth image, a sort of girl-next-door stereotype which heera never quite fit into. she’s had to fake it all these years. being down-to-earth means a lot of different things to a lot of people but heera hardly fits any of their definition. in an attempt to reconcile her image with that of diary it was decided that she shouldn’t reveal too much about her family history. she tries to appear as low-maintenance as possible, she tries to stay humble and pretends that she enjoys camping more than glamping. she tries not to try too hard and stay consistent. her life in the public eye is a never ending acting gig. however, somethings do slip through now and then. she grew up sheltered from poverty and wasn’t exposed much to the world outside her income class. so she may slip up and mention her dislike for flying commercial or her inexperience cooking ramen. some anti-fans do call her spoiled or pretentious but for the most part her facade remains intact.
2. be positive! anyone who has ever seen heera on a variety show can attest that she’s incredibly positive. even when filming is delayed or someone messes up she stays positive. part of this is due to the fact that she wants to make a good impression on the producers and staff. the last thing she wants is to be seen as a diva. she’ll often keep quiet about her dissatisfaction and find a way to make things right without pointing fingers. however, this also means she’s always cranky on set. she’s always spotting things that are wrong but fails to point them out for the sake of being positive. thus, she always sees herself as the victim of other’s incompetence.
3. be sweet! heera lives off of the attention her fans bestow upon her. despite being praised as a vocalist and person by industry insiders, it is the fans and their words that make or break her. it is no wonder she’s always mentioning them. she’s constantly thanking them on appearances and never forgets to carry around fan-gifts. she’s that idol that can be spotted with fan-given plushies, phone cases, accessories, and such at the airport.
4. be perfect! as with any girl group there are bound to be rumors and allegations. heera’s image, however, has yet to suffer from any major scandals. heera knows it is only a matter of time before someone digs up something about her and it makes it to the hands of the gossip blogs. so, she’s a total control freak when it comes to her image. when in the public eye she’s constantly on high alert.
5. be the center of attention! once upon a time heera was the center of her parents world. the youngest and a girl! she grew up with plenty of attention from her parents, nannies, and just about everyone in her life. as a person she’s grown tired of being in the spotlight all the time. as an idol she loathes to be out-done by another. she’s not necessarily competitive but heera is unconsciously jealous of the attention others get. instead of being content with her own slice of the pie she tends to draw attention to herself. this is clearly visible in variety show appearances and interviews where she’s always the one with the funny story or the clumsy one.
6. be innocent! heera hates the traditional idol image. she’s not fifteen and she knows it. but her fans don’t seem to think so. most of them would be content with her acting like a nun for the rest of her life. heera understands this and she strays away from making any jokes or questioning the world too much. she wouldn’t want anyone thinking that she’s an adult.
7. be nerdy! she’s already a huge fan of superhero movies, comic books, and video games. heera has encyclopedic knowledge of pop culture, all thanks to growing up with a nonexistent social life. that means she gets labeled as the nerdy one by the show hosts and fans alike.
8. be friendly! if hera can be described in one word it would be approachable. she’s friendly in what some would call “american style”, not afraid of skinship and hyping up others.
“seventy-three kilograms...six possible surgeries...four months...” how could someone’s whole world be reduced to numbers? how could a human be seen as nothing more as seventy-three kilograms of fat? “she could stay at our vip location in namhae, it’s beautiful.” as a child heera had learnt she could never be looked down upon, not really. rich girls don’t feel pain. their layers of money protect them from the usual perils that befall the rest of society...right? she thought herself invincible simply because her parents earned more and spent more than those around them. turns out those rules only applied before puberty. it wasn’t enough to have money in the realm of teenagers. “there’s nothing to worry about. you’ve come to the best!” heera played with the corners of her black shirt, she did her best to suppress her fears. she could die. it was a valid option. her life could end on a cold operation table and that would be that. “we’ll be doing very basic procedures first.” but a part of her didn’t care. she wouldn’t give up everything for the sake of beauty if she was giving up anything important. her life was simply not valuable enough as it stood. and her father had always taught her stocks with low values didn’t belong in her portfolio. was there a difference?
“in layman terms we’ll do facial contouring, double-eyelid, eye-widening, we’ll smooth the jawline, rhinoplasty, and put her on a diet plan immediately.” heera didn’t need to hear anymore, she was only interested in the end results. she stood up and left the room without excusing herself. the waiting room was painted blue with swirls of gold. the ac was neither too strong nor too weak for the early summer weather. it was nearly empty save for a set of attendants who stood by a desk near the entrance. the tv was showing the newest episode of music bank. perfect looking girls danced on screen. heera looked at the performance halfheartedly. “(irony) maldo an dwe.” what did it take to be up on that stage? aside from acting heera had never thought about a life in the limelight. she had strong vocals but she had never even sang outside of her room. but after the surgeries...couldn’t she do anything?
ii. everyone falls down
"anything for my girl. but are you sure this is what you want? there are other ways.” the ride from the airport to the hotel had been long enough for her father to get caught up on her plans. he didn’t object, didn’t ask why she had taken such a drastic decision. heera had always been an observer in her own life. it was something the older man had always disliked. for the first time it seemed as she was taking charge of her destiny and she encountered no backlash from him. “don’t worry about your mother, she’s overseeing the opening of a new hotel in tokyo in september. i doubt she even remembers we exists right now.” she agreed. her mother would care, as soon as she found the time to do so. “let’s put dinner on the books before your flight to namhae ok? i love you marie.” heera waved good-by and headed back to her apartment. boxes littered almost every inch of the living room. everything she had accumulated during her summers in seoul were slowly being packed into cardboard cages. heera took out a poster that stuck out from one of the boxes. she slowly and carefully unraveled it until the full picture was in view. it was a poster advertising the newest iron man movie. she put down on the floor next to her and began emptying the box. there were bits and pieces of her life in there. childhood pictures, mostly of her brother and their parents. she was in some of them but she could hardly recognize the girl in those pictures. she was smiling from ear to ear. although her clothes were ill fitting...although she took up too much room. heera went to tear one of the pictures apart but stopped herself. she needed these. one day things would be different and she would need proof of just how far she had come. “i’ll re-pack these now miss.”
iii. my beauty is my weapon
“she’s going into shock!” we never got dinner that time... “call doctor choi.” i wonder what he ate that day...dad hates eating by himself... “she’s having an allergic reaction to the new medicine.” ... “there was nothing on record.” ... “it’s going to be alright.” doctor choi was right, things were going to be alright. she was attached to a bed for a few weeks after surgery. afterwards her life fell into a routine. it was simple really -- wake up and eat, exercise, have a daily check up with the team, rest and eat, exercise, rest exercise, sleep. her days rarely deviated from the norm. time passed surprisingly quickly that summer. “you can see yourself now heera-ssi.” no, not yet. she wanted to be perfect. after all the time she’d put into this change she couldn’t handle disappointment. heera didn’t look at a mirror all summer. the first time she saw her new self was right before the opening of k&e’s new tokyo hotel. her mother wanted to see her daughter whom she had yet to see. “i wasn’t sure about your size so i asked miza--” the older woman was speechless, not a usual emotion for her at all. “my god! honey you look great.” heera smiled, it was all she needed to finally take a look in the mirror. there were too many emotions dying to be felt. there was happiness -- she could finally look in the mirror and not hate the person who stared back. there was pain -- scars would heal, eventually, but her body still remembered the constant pain it had suffered. there was disbelief -- was the reflection really her? was it really her? she looked away. there was regret. but regret would fade away little by little. it would fade a bit that day as she took pictures with the models and j-pop idols who attended the hotel’s opening. it would fade a bit when a man stopped her on the streets of itaewon and insisted she audition for bc entertainment. it would disappear the day diary stood on stage for the first time.
“...the first reading will be in two weeks. the rest of the schedule is being confirmed and will be sent out by the end of the day.” heera heard one of the staff members explain to her manager. they were discussing heera’s new tvn drama around a marble table littered with coffee and smart phones. it had been a long morning of hand shaking and small talk but she was...grateful. it wasn’t a feeling she felt often and quite honestly she didn’t like it. she could already imagine the staff complaining about her -- just another idol actor. heera leaned back into her chair and let the conversation turn into white noise. she wasn’t confident, she was hardly a seasoned actresses and she sure as hell hadn’t been the writer’s first choice. “hwayugi is going to be big,” one of the writers chimed in “we’re glad to have heera-ssi with us.”
acting headcanon!
heera has always loved movies and the actors in them...she wanted to be just like them. growing up she didn’t get out much (other than the occasional party with her parents but basically she had no social life) so she spent a lot of time consuming media. she would sometimes ask her father to use his connections to get early screenings of movies, it rarely worked. she was obsessed with hollywood. heera lived through movies. her shattered self-esteem didn’t allow her to seek her own adventures and so she clung to films. it was no wonder she wished to be an actress when she grew up. not that she ever imagined an opportunity would come up.
after heera joined bc and begun training there wasn’t much time to sit around and watch movies. however, she was exposed to korean dramas (which she had previously regarded as something only her grandmother watched). she wasn’t immediately drawn to the medium but it grew on her. heera was already set on becoming an idol and thus acting in kdramas wasn’t a priority for her, she simply enjoyed them as a fan.
in 2016 she joined the cast of scarlet heart ryo. it was golden media who encouraged her to audition and eventually accept a role. after experiencing life on set she was sold on acting. her skills needed to improve but she loved becoming someone else. acting eventually became a way for heera to find an identity outside of diary. she knows she won’t be an idol forever. even now she’s often one of the oldest in the room and her career as an idol has an expiration date. she only hopes that when it arrives she can make a smooth transition to acting.
countdown to 24: selected days from the 30 days of character development meme
day one. introduce your muse
kwon heera, born heera marie kwon, is the lead vocal and lead dancer of gold star media’s girl group DIARY. she has also become known for her roles in tv dramas.
day two. talk about your muse’s childhood
heera’s upbring was all over the place. she was born whilst her parents were on vacation to france. she spent her first few years near the palo alto area, where her parents had settled years earlier, and then moved to a permanent home in beverly hills. she also visited her mother’s hometown of seogwipo, jeju & seoul quite often. growing up, quite literally, next door to hollywood stars she always dreamt of being an actress. she quickly saw the flaw in this. one, she lacked the visuals to really make it in hollywood. two, there weren’t many people who looked like her on the big screen. three, her parents weren’t very supportive of this dream. thus her dream of becoming an actress was shelved. she realized she wanted to be an idol the day of her first plastic surgery. she wanted the fame, and she thought being an idol would be an easy way to receive love. it wasn’t until much later that she realized her dream of becoming an actress could come true as well.
day three. takes us back to when your muse was either recruited or auditioned to become an idol?
heera can remember that summer day in 2010 as if it was yesterday. she had just gotten back to seoul from namhae. since her body was still recovering from the latest surgery she had taken a train, the trip had lasted five hours and she was exhausted. instead of going straight to bed, her cousin took her out to eat. it was there, somewhere in itaewon, that a scout from bc ent. stopped and gave her a card. heera had already planned to audition to the company so she’d seen the scout a sign that this was her destiny. the audition was nerve wrecking to say the least. heera had never taken a dance class in her life, much less a vocal class. she practiced for a couple weeks before attending an audition. she sung tear drops in the morning by gold star soloist 1. if she were to give her past self some advice it would be to not audition at all. to walk out of that room and go back home to california, finish high school, and enroll in university like her father wanted.
day four. remember the trainee days?
the first year of training was crazy. she had never lived in korea for more than a month or two at a time and getting used to the culture was difficult. she worried a lot about being seen as an outsider. thankfully there were other trainees who spoke english and she mostly clung to them. school was difficult too, heera was supposed to start her senior year in 2010 and she ended up using tutors to finish high school. while in bc she worried everyday about not being able to debut soon. bee had debuted just that year after all. when she didn’t make it into lipstick’s lineup she saw it as a sign to not renew her contract with the company and moved to gold star. the change was shocking and abrupt and her time as a gold star trainee is hardly a time she likes to remember.
day five. recall your muse’s debut
DIARY’s debut now feels like the distant past. after releasing pre-debut singles she had already gotten a taste of fame. but nothing would prepare her for the hectic schedule that would come with piano man. as far as her thoughts on the concept and such...heera didn’t hate it. she wasn’t thrilled with the group’s concept at first, she worried people wouldn’t be into it, but she grew to like it.
day eight. talk about your muse’s strengths and weaknesses as an idol
perhaps it is due to her time under bc or her upbringing in the company of socialites and business tycoons but heera is good when it comes to image management. she has great control of her expressions and never lets her guard down in public. thus she’s been able to escape any scandals, both public and within the industry, and has maintained a clean image. she’s also not greedy when it comes to her vocals or dancing. she plays her role and hones her abilities without worrying about others. however, she’s often seen as boring and detached on variety shows (if they only heard her bad puns). she’s very slow when it comes to learning new things. whether it’s a new choreo or song, it usually takes her a while to learn and sometimes she forgets (this mostly happens with choreos...she’ll be in the middle of a song and then ???
day nine. what is your muse’s fashion style?
heera is girly, she loves feminine styles, but she’s also a total gym rat. her closet is divided between white and peach toned dresses & monochrome workout clothes. she refuses to sacrifice comfort for fashion. most of her clothes are oversized or made to stretch. as far as colors go, she prefers to stick to solid colored clothing rather than anything too adventurous. she isn’t a fan of shopping and most of her clothing is picked by diary’s stylist or her mother’s assistant. in the rare case that she does shop she likes low classic and off-white.
day twenty-two. talk about your muse’s goals that they have for their group
she wants to see DIARY debut overseas, perhaps in japan. as far as heera is concerned DIARY is just beginning. they’ve received a lot of love but in the past year or so it hasn’t felt as though they’ve made much of an impact. she’d like to see them achieve a bit more before branching off into solo projects.
day twenty-six. does your muse ever regret becoming an idol?
on a daily basis. heera isn’t unhappy with her life per se, but she does believe her life would’ve been even better if she hadn’t become an idol. her main problem being the fact that she did it for all the wrong reasons. slowly but surely she’s realizing that she chose this life on a whim. she’d always had everything she wanted, there was little money couldn’t buy, and fame was simply another want rather than a dream. she knows this line of work isn’t something she can be in forever and wonders if she’s wasting her time. perhaps she should be learning about the family business or attending university instead of filming dramas and performing.
day twenty-eight. talk about your muse’s low point in life
i don’t think heera has hit the lowest point in her life yet. she was definitely at a bad place before she had surgery and became a trainee, but she’s yet to experience real pain. i believe the lowest point in her life will be whenever she’s held accountable for everything she’s done to herself. both to her body and her mental health.
day twenty-nine. talk about your muse’s most meaningful moment as an idol
DIARY’s first fan-meeting. it was the moment that it all began to feel real. the fact that she had debuted, that her hard work payed off, was enough to make her cry. she’s never ever cried again in public.
day thirty. think about your muse’s life down the road
i believe heera’s journey is far longer than anything i could imagine. i don’t believe there’ll be a satisfying ending to her story (unless i play her until she’s 35) because she still has so much to learn. in the near future i do see her becoming more self aware and willing to fix some of her vices. romance-wise she is in a horrible state atm and i don’t see her having a happy stable relationship until much later in her life. and career-wise i do see her becoming even more involved in films and tv (tbh i could see heera running a company in her early 40s and turning into a lil kim byungchul because running a business is in her blood)
