Colonel Budansky: Chad, this is Colonel Budansky. Have you approached the target destination yet?
Chad Blasterman: You listen here, Colonel Pyle! I’m out here trying to SAVE the world from ROBOT OVERLORDS and the Action Agents are no errand boys! So, if you want to go to the store and get your own off-brand toilet paper, you go right ahead!
Announcer: Chad Blasterman! He’s no errand boy for a government stooge!
Colonel: Ugh... Have you reached Bathysphere Station 5 yet?
Chad: Well, how in the HELL am I supposed to know?! I’m in a jet-sub under water! I look outside the window and all I see is blue and fish and occasionally seaweed!!
Colonel: Chad, have you been piloting that sub around aimlessly for the last eight hours?!
Chad: You’re darn tootin’, Colonel, cuz when you can shoot as good as me, who needs aim?!
Announcer: Chad Blasterman! Grasping the concept?! Not on his watch!
Chad: And I don’t need a watch to tell time, either, so shut up, announcer voice in my head!
Colonel: Oh, for chrissake! Chad, we set that jet-sub to take you directly to Bathysphere Station 5. All you had to do was switch on the autopilot!
Chad: Autopilot? Sorry, Colonel, I don’t know how it is over there in Colonel Land, with your Colonel Comfortable Chairs and your Pillowy Colonel Cushions, but autopilot is not how an Action Agent rolls!
Announcer: Chad Blasterman! He flies solo by the seat of his pants in a plane called “Crazy” (or “Idiot”). Either one will do!
Colonel: Look, we are using valuable time here, Blasterman! You switch that autopilot back on and get back on course!
Chad: No can do, Colonel. An Action Agent never trusts anyone with his mission. Not his superiors. Not his technology. And not even himself. I ripped out that autopilot and threw it overboard, as per Action Agent protocol!
Colonel: A protocol you just made up on the spot, didn’t you?!
Chad: Rule One of the Action Agents, always improvise!
Announcer: Chad Blasterman! It’s like a “Yes and...” game! Only with more personal INJURY and potential DEATH!!
Colonel: Well, that’s just great, Chad. That’s just great. So, tell me, Action Agent, how do plan on getting to the Bathysphere Station 5 now?
Chad: Simple, Colonel. You do what you always do in the field. You just find a local and ask. Like this dolphin who’s swimming next to my sub. They’re smart, I’ll ask him! Let me just roll down the window.
Colonel: Chad, Chad! No! NO!! Do not role down that window!!!
