Based on that post about Charlie is magically turned into a kid. The staff are arguing and Alastor makes his usual snide comments about Vaggie, and Little Charlie kicks his shin and says "Don't be mean to the pwetty lady!"
Oh! That is absolutely precious!!! Yes! Yes! and Triple Yes!
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Vaggie: Lucifer, I'm serious! We need to figure out why Charlie is a toddler. The Princess of Hell can't go from looking like she's in her twenties to being two!
Kid Charlie: (pausing in her headbutt game with Razzle to shout) I'm fwee! (gets headbutted by Razzle and sprawls out on the floor)
Vaggie: Oh, I'm sorry, Charlie. (to Lucifer) A Three Year Old! (swipes her arms in a cutting motion) And I am NOT being labelled as a pedophile because my girlfriend turned into a literal child!
Lucifer: (recording Charlie playing with Razzle with an almost manic amount of giggles) Awwwww, do we have to??? Look how ADORABLE she is!!!
Kid Charlie: (tired of playing headbutts, climbs onto Razzle's back and rides him across the floor) Onward, Razzle!!! To da castle!!!
Razzle: Bap-Baa-Baa-BAAAAAAAP!!! (charges and sprints around the lobby, occasionally jumping and using his wings to stay airborne a little longer)
Vaggie: (heart melts and ovaries pulse before she shakes off the rose colored glasses and growls at Lucifer) Yes, Lucifer. We have to.
Lucifer: (pouting) Awwww.... Alright....
Alastor: (shadows in from nowhere) I heard Lucifer sigh in dismay. What did I miss? (sees Charlie riding Razzle's back and quriks an eyebrow) Well, this is an interesting turn of events.
Vaggie: (groans) Charlie randomly turned into a three year old. We're trying to figure out how to turn her back.
Alastor: (grin widens and turns more menacing) And who will be watching her in that time?
Lucifer: Uh, I literally raised her once already. I think I can manage watching her for a few days while we figure out what's going on.
Vaggie: No offense, Sir, but I think you should put your efforts into figuring out how to turn Charlie back. You have the most magic experience out of all of us.
Lucifer: (Morningstar Puppy Eyes and whimpers like a kicked puppy)
Vaggie: (after building an immunity due to living with Charlie for three years) No. You're working on finding a cure.
Lucifer: (huffs) Fine. (adjusts his hat sassily) You've just fallen from Awesome Future Daughter-In-Law to Moderate Future Daughter-In-Law.
Vaggie: (rolls her eyes) I'll go with you to that rubber duck expo next week if you can figure out how to turn Charlie back.
Lucifer: With the fluffy duckie jam-jams?!
Vaggie: Ugh! Yes! With the duckie pajamas! But you have to get Charlie turned back before then.
Lucifer: Deal! Ho! (does the CA-CHING arm move) I'll have this figured out by the end of the day! Best! Future! Daughter-In-Law! EVER!!! (poofs away in red and gold glitter)
Alastor: Well, now that we have that settled. I'll take young Charlie until then.
Vaggie: The fuck you are!!!
Alastor: Oh? And were you going to watch her? I happen to be wonderful with children!
Vaggie: I've managed to do just fine so far?
Kid Charlie & Razzle: (accidentally ram into the couch) Ow..../ Baaaa...
Alastor: Ah, yes. The epitome of maternal instinct... Or should I say, the poster child for contraception? Leave the nurturing to the professionals, darling, unless you're aiming for 'World's Worst Babysitter' award.
Vaggie: (growls as her eyes glow and her bow turns into horns)
Kid Charlie: (hears the jab, sees Vaggie being super pissed and the self-conscious of her capabilities swirling underneath her bravado, and growls as she runs on all fours towards Allastor; dutifully headbutting him in the shin with her horns) BAAAAAAAP!!!!
Alastor: Ouch! My shin!
Kid Charlie: (stomps Alastor's ankle for good measure)
Alastor: Gah! My fucking ankle!
Kid Charlie: (stomps her foot and points at Alastor with a surprising air of authority) Don't be mean to the pwetty lady!!! (turns to Vaggie as her horns disappear and makes grabby motions) Uppies, Ms. Pwetty Lady, pweeeease?
Vaggie: Pfft! (stops the bout of laughter bubbling in her chest and picks up Charlie, cradling her on her hip) Yeah, Alastor. Be nice to the pwetty lady. And you shouldn't be swearing in front of children. (turns to Charlie) Thank you, sweetie. (kisses Charlie's cheek in a maternal way)
Kid Charlie: Tehehehehehehe! (continues to giggle and blush while acting bashful and hiding her face)
