Summary: Yuta has used smoking as his mental crutch for as long as he could remember. Maki hates his horrible habit but eventually gives up when her scoldings fall on her boyfriend's deaf ears. On a random day on their apartment balcony, Yuta contemplates what's more important in the long run.
Pairing: Yuta x Maki | Jujutsu Kaisen
Word count: 1.5K
A/N: I have a silly headcanon that Yuta is a chain smoker so this was born. So excited about JJK Season 3. Enjoy!
Floaty white is pulled in for a moment before it shoots out an angled trail of smoke. Yuta does little nods as the nicotine settles in his system. Now that he was deemed The Strongest, these breaks were his mental lifeline.
Protecting society from high level curses & corrupt sorcerers.
Keeping the balance of Jujutsu Society.
Upholding his image as Japan’s golden boy.
Training the next generation of jujutsu sorcerers effectively.
Making sure he doesn’t leave his friends and Maki behind in the fast lane.
Since he was a teenager, he knew Gojo-sensei's burden seemed overwhelming from an outsider’s perspective. But now, he’s finally getting the full course of that burden. That boy who became a monster three years ago had no idea what he was talking about. It’s more than overwhelming; it’s damn near suffocating. He’s surprised Gojo took all of it in stride and didn’t rely on anything to manage his sanity. The only difference between his burden and Gojo’s burden is that he isn’t lonely.
As soon as Maki walks in the apartment her nose twitches, the acquainted scent of cigarette smoke registers in her brain. She shoots Yuta a scolding look when she steps on the balcony. “You’re still smoking?” She saw him lighting up his first cigarette before she went for a run a while ago.
Yuta nods without a word, bracing himself for another scolding. Maki puts her hands on her hips and sighs. She wants to let him have it but what was the point. She should be used to his chain smoking by this point.
Ever since the time she met Yuta, she would usually find him tucked away in a secret area with a bud in-between his fingers. She never asked why he needed a smoke; she just assumed that he uses it as a mental crutch. Given his problems with Rika and general anxiety, you couldn’t really blame him.
He never smoked around people, out of respect and need of privacy. His signature scent is always mixed with smoke layered in his hair and clothes. Despite the overwhelming scent, it fits with his slouched posture, his resting frown, and his grey eyebags. Like it was the final piece that completed the puzzle that is Yuta Okkotsu.
Knowing this, Maki still cringed whenever she saw him light up a cig. It just wasn’t healthy for the body in the long run. She was far from a prude, but she wanted Yuta to live long without any ailments punishing him for his youth. Those things were a one-way ticket to an early death. But no matter how much she gets on him about it, he won’t give them up.
Maki walks up to him and checks the box to see one cigarette left. She contemplates taking it and cutting it up, throwing it off the balcony, flushing it down the toilet, anything to stop him from lighting another. But what good would that amount to? He’ll just go to the gas station to buy another pack. Yuta was willing to heed her words about anything except his smoking habit. So why bother?
Yuta looks up to see Maki set the Seven Stars down and stares at him with a blank look. He expected another scolding but all he got was a long sigh and a quiet mumble of something he couldn’t make out. When Maki closed the balcony door behind her, he turns back to the city landscape and pulls the short stick from his mouth. Hot smoke rushes out his lips and curves in front of his face for the umpteenth time.
He wanted the quit ever since he gained his will to live but smoking felt too familiar to simply let go. Before he found his friends, cigarettes were his only comfort during the years Rika made his life difficult. After he set her free, he quickly improved his skills to the point where he was regarded second strongest after Gojo. That brought more stress so he kept the cigarettes around for mental support. But Maki never approved of them and she always left the room as soon as she saw the orange butt sticking from his mouth.
He hates disappointing her, but this was his only way to keep him from suffocating in the stress and pressure of being The Strongest. He always gets annoyed whenever he goes on social media and sees these “easy” methods of trying to relax the mind that just seem useless to him. Yuta didn’t want to downplay people’s coping strategies, but meditation, salt lamps, yoga, and supplements did shit luck when you were a sorcerer. This was his method and despite it being bad for you in the long run, it works for him.
But still…
Before meeting Maki, he didn’t care if he lived life short since he wanted to die anyway. But that was before she came into his life and gave him the motivation to keep moving forward. Now that they were in a relationship, that desire to get the most out of life grew stronger after each soft glance and tough love Maki bestows on him. Yuta’s mind trailed a daydream of a potential future.
Maki dressed in elegant white, contrasting with her rough skin and honed muscles. A big residence with the warmth of a small home. A couple kiddos who stole their faces running around, a boy like Maki and a girl like him. Growing wrinkles together while they bond over their irritations with the youth...
A loud car honking from the street snaps Yuta out of his drifting. The cigarette burns to the middle and pops the ash off, falling to his black pants. Despite the urge to perform another drag, he pulls out the cigarette and mashes it against the ash tray. For the rest of the day, his harmful familiar and his call to action to live long with Maki were out to murder each other in his struggling mind.
Two weeks later
Maki wipes her neck down with a towel after a successful 10k run. She closes the front door behind her expecting nicotine to ruin her fresh air but it didn’t hit her. Looking towards the patio, she sees her boyfriend sitting like he usually does during the evening. From a distance, Yuta seems to be lost in thought while he sits forward with his hands clasped. Maki usually gets settled before speaking to him but curiosity got the better of her.
Yuta didn’t seem to notice her sliding the door open. Maki give him a slightly concerned look as a faint scent of nicotine crept to her nose. It was significantly less louder than before. Maki reaches out for his shoulder.
“Hey.”
Yuta turns and his stoic expression brightens. “Home already?”
“Yeah, the run is getting easier. You’re not smoking?” Straight to the point.
“Well, I smoke two this morning.” Maki nods. That answered what was up with the faint scent. “But I’m trying to quit so it’s a struggle.” Yuta lightly chuckles, oblivious to Maki eyes widening.
“Quitting?” Her Yuta quitting something that had been so attached to his identity even before she met him? Aliens might as well drop down to Earth in a UFO. “What reason?”
“Just don’t want to slowly die young. I got a lot to live for now.”
It was a stupid question in hindsight, but Maki is just speaking off the fly. “Like what?”
“Let’s see...” Yuta rubs his chin and looks up. “Well, many are depending on me to keep jujutsu society balanced and fair. I don’t want to make my friends sad.” He gives Maki a soft look. “I don’t want to leave you.”
A new form of heat rushed through Maki’s cheeks, shaking her head to reject the vulnerability. “Stupid. Some smokers live till their fifty.”
“Yeah but you can potentially live another fifty years. I feel like fifty is still too young to die.”
“Where is all of this living talk coming from. You always seemed like the “If I die, I die” type of guy.”
“You remember our first mission together.” Yuta chuckles. “The one where I got us swallowed by a grade 4 curse.”
Maki drops her head down and cringes. “Don’t remind me.”
“Those words you shouted at me before you passed out gave me the motivation to live. Since then my will to live grew as a gotten stronger.” He goes to grab her hands. “I want to live long for you. I want to enjoy life with you. So I’m starting by slowly quitting the sticks.”
Maki gives him a long, loving look before giving Yuta a small smirk. “You are the cheesiest guy I ever met. You could have just said for health reasons.”
Yuta sits up and gives Maki an adoring smooch before heading inside. Maki lingered, staring at the bustling city of Tokyo. She accepted Yuta’s smoking habit as a part of him, a compromise she’s willing to give if it means she can love him. Hearing that she’s a major reason he’s willing to quit and live long brews that overwhelming weight that she will never get used to.
The weight of pride, reverence, and pure, unconditional love.
