And I've been living here for so long
I don't know if I've ever had any
In the strange transformative hour
Dreams shredded into pulp
And me more bitter than the next
Because I had none to start
Or else they're buried too deep
Under other people's handwriting
I don't know how I got here
I don't know if I was ever anywhere else
I thought I would be safe
None in the safe pouch of attainability
Not even in the miscolored stretch of transcendence
But that's for another time
And I thought I would be safe here
But it snuck a claw into my brain
So I can at least follow the sun
No chains to climb out of here
And swing like the triumphant spider
And no map out of the frozen land
But nobody ever sees through it
I almost want to shake them
The shape the colors the lacks thereof
That only fake things are
Even when the sun hits it
But they dont tell you it moves backwards too
But none of that was right
If it had been me would I have had dreams
And would they have pulled me out
Before I got to this town?
Better than speaking in the wrong voice
You can hear it in the language
When you pick words for sound
And they told me which way was up
And I had no reason to doubt
But now I don't trust anything
Time moves forwards right?
But what if that boy never does
Was he even a boy at all?
Where did he end and I begin
A nice shiny star on the calendar
And commemorate the turning over
Of correcting and forgiveness
It was not the fault of anyone
That I was misnamed and dreamless
I exploded into being in adolescence
And whatever existed before
Was a precursor in the wrong dimension
Shaking scrabble tiles out the sky
Tumbling over definitions
To collect one I could live
Proudly and shine on the wall
On the other side of the sun
Is this the reason I am a collection of enemies
My flag has a hammer a pentagram
A sickle and yes 50 stars and some odd stripes
I never denied where I was from
This is the land where anthems grow
And not a one gets the shape right
They squint and try and erase
The parts they see that just can't be
I wouldn't say I was hiding
It's nature's cruelest camouflage
Not even by my other sides
Keep the front to itself or pay me back
Do not deny me the chance to be both
That possess our voices when we are alone
Sobs leaking out our eyes when we least expect
We must build ourselves up
Doors and windows facing east
As parts that reflect the whole
Remains air on the inside
Connecting us to what is outside
Striking the notes in the appropriate order
And singing resounding harmonies with the past
Maybe it stole mine in the present
And swam back to scoop them up
And that is why I think I never had any
The possibilities could swim
Little train cars on a dead end track
But the shapes of half formed dreams
Leave an impression on us
And we can use that to ignite something