imagine you are patrick zweig. you’re seventeen or eighteen, and you’ve had feelings for your best friend for years now, but you don’t tell anyone, there’s not anyone meaningful anyway to tell. and you’re okay with that, keeping it hidden in some part of yourself no one can access. until some day, for gd knows what reason, you’re able to talk to the girl of your dreams with your best friend in tow. and for some reason, she likes you. and she pries out your feelings for him in so many words, because somehow she senses something you didn’t know you she can see. and when she pries for the same thing in him he just laughs and denies it, denies the entire possibility. but you’re okay. and she’s okay with that, because she’s nothing like you’ve ever seen before, not even close. and she brings out this want in you maybe you didn’t even know you had, and suddenly she’s guiding you towards your best friend, without judgement, because maybe she knows what you want even more than you do. and so you kiss, and you kiss, and the world doesn’t end. but in the next moment you and him separate and you’re fumbling over her again. so she says fine, i’ll choose one of you, but you’ve gotta earn it. and you win, so she’s yours, but not completely. because you can’t leave your best friend out of this, not completely. and so the two of them go off to school without you but you still have her, and you know he’s pining for her but you don’t care, because you have him too. until you do something stupid like say the wrong thing at the wrong time, something foolish, and somehow that presses them together, without you. without you. and years go by. and you live. and it seems every time you look more time has gone by, and you sneak your glances, but they don’t acknowledge you, don’t really bring up your name. and they marry, and have a child, and you’re nothing anymore. but you see her one day, one strange day out of the blue and you barely know what to say but the want she brought out of you is still there, still burning. and they’re not completely happy anymore, you can tell, but you’re just for the moment and you don’t overstay your welcome. and suddenly you have a chance to talk, finally, after all these years, and you’re shut down, because you’re just a reminder of all these things they’ve tried to run away from. until you have no choice but to make them see you. and also you play tennis.