starter for ( @chancetoprepare
nellie had finally done it! something she was proud of. a piece of written work that didn’t make her want to throw it in the fire and never write again. she had signed up for this workshop with the hopes of gaining some confidence in her writing - she really did want to do it! she wanted to be smart and to think like all the other smart people she sees. her attempts are haunted by her mothers words - some people just aren’t smart, your brain works differently than other people, at least you’re pretty sweetheart - but she wanted more than that. wanted to be more than that. wanted to be wanted for more than that.
of course, the incredibly attractive instructor was an added bonus. for what felt like the first time, and honestly it probably was, nellie felt attracted to someone for more than just their physicality. sure it had only been a short workshop, but the way his brain worked? the way he molded words together and the way he was able to be so eloquent with his thoughts . . . she was so jealous. but more than that! she felt this intense pull towards him. she wants him to be able to look at her and see more than just the pretty face, she wants him to see the parts of her no one else has seen and be able to make sense of it all. surely, someone with a brain like his would be able to turn her insides to jelly and make her nerves spark with just the words he manages to form. she shouldn’t be thinking of him like this, but he’s been flirting back too - so it’s okay, right? for the first time in nellie’s memory, she’s nervous in front of a boy. she so wants him to be proud. but she’s also proud of herself. she confidently marches up to him at the end of the session, as everyone is ready to pour out. “oliver - read this! i wrote it last night. it felt exactly like you said it would feel - to write this! and be proud of it.”
