He wasn't in love. He couldn't be. And yet as he watched Kanda strap on his holster, check his gun, his heart trembled. Then clenched like a fist when those sharp blue eyes met his. Why was love like a blow to the heart? Stupid. Stupid and careless. He told himself. And dangerous as well. "Have a good day at work dear." he mocked and the man threw a shoe at him, he managed to dodge and laughed when Kanda scooped him up and dumped him on the bed. "get some sleep Moyashi." he said smothering him with a pillow. He watched him leave the room, felt his smile drop even as his stomach did. This was bad. This was really really bad. He reached down to get his phone off the charger, call Tyki, call somebody, but when he pulled up his contacts he realized he had noone. Noone he could talk to. Not about this. Why did it hurt? Like a physical wound, raw and open in his chest. Oh god why did this all hurt so much? He had been foolish. Had believed, wanted to believe, he could take and enjoy his own pleasure on his own terms without risking his heart. Well. Live and learn.