#char's words

[twitchystitchwitch]

Image ID: An image of two books side by side. They have similar covers. One is very thick, the one beside it is much thinner. Text over the thick book reads "Huntik" and text over the thin book reads "Huntik if Zhalia had a gun" END ID

Couldn't help myself after I saw a Zhalia action figure with a gun

[twitchystitchwitch]

In light of Ann Widdecombe and Lindsey Graham kicking it before Mitch McConnell's death is announced, I just need to put this out there:

Trump has the chance to do the first funny thing he has ever done in his life

[twitchystitchwitch]

Kinda curious if there are any other D. Gray-man whump fans out there. Given the series matter I feel like there have to be, I just haven't found anyone else

(For anyone who isn't super familiar, whump is basically just a fandom term for various forms of angst that are usually centered around physical or psychological suffering. Could be centered around the angst itself or around the comfort and care afterwards)

If you're into D. Gray-man whump and happen upon this I'd appreciate a like or a comment or a reblog, just to find other people that might like similar things

[twitchystitchwitch]

Akito: You motherfucker-

Shigure: How did you know?

Akito: WHAT?

[twitchystitchwitch]

At this point it feels like I'm in an endless yo-yo of hope and despair. Every single time it looks like we know what is going on with my health there is another setback. Either the testing we need can only be accessed through a specialist who refuses to order simple blood tests, or insurance won't cover tests I can't afford without them pitching in, or specialists refuse to see someone with the health conditions I have despite me being sent there by the specialists I was told I need to be seeing. In January it looked like I had some possible answers to things. Some were good, some were devastating.

It's October and at this point I have no answers to those questions. The rheumatologist I saw brushed me off and told me I needed to see a neurologist (I was referred to her by a neurologist) but ordered testing to prove to me that I was fine. Those tests came back abnormal and she hasn't been in touch with me a single time about it in 2 months. Just gotta wait for my follow up and hope I actually get answers then. The endocrinologist refused to test for the condition I was sent to her for testing of because she won't treat it even if I have it and it is causing symptoms. She was certain it was something else that could possibly be cured with surgery and/or chemo. She was wrong. Now I have to wait until my follow up with her to get the testing ordered for the initial condition, if she'll even order the testing. The genetic counselor thinks I might have inherited an under researched mitochondrial disorder from my mother. Their office does not have the capacity to collect the muscle biopsy necessary for that test. There is a single provider in the entire state who can collect the sample and they are currently taking 6 months to even reach out to people who are referred for scheduling. There is a wait list on top of that just to get scheduled. This is after almost 6 months of back and forth with insurance and the genetic counselor to get preliminary testing covered. My neurologist thinks I might be having abnormal focal seizures and we need an extended EEG to check. I've been waiting a month and a half to get scheduled, only to find out my insurance apparently never got the prior auth through and I have to wait possibly another month to know if they'll cover that.

I am tired and hopeless and I just want to know if I can expect to have a life outside of struggling to keep myself from being house bound and bed bound again. Everyone keeps asking if I'm trying to find jobs now that I have my phlebotomy license but I don't know if I'll ever be able to work again. I don't know if I'll be able to have hobbies. I don't know if I'll have to give up everything I love again one piece at a time.

[twitchystitchwitch]

Love how days where my ADHD meds don't kick in (if I have migraines or bad brain fog from PEM they don't work right) can be one of three things:

Horrible distressing endlessly obsessive thoughts or false sensations of things (usually bad) happening to my body

Endless hunger that is so bad it is painful and such obsessive thoughts about specific foods that I can't hold a single train of thought. This happens no matter how much or what I eat

My brain just kind of puts on a single line from a song and it plays over and over and over nonstop no matter what else I am doing. Can make it hard to hold thoughts, and it can be anything. It could be a song I hate, a song I love, a song I haven't heard in a decade

And while the third one sounds fun it is still objectively miserable. But, compared to the other two, I much prefer the third. Today is the third. Apparently it is a day for Wicked

[twitchystitchwitch]

I am definitely normal about Jean from Claymore. Sooooo totally normal. Definitely not gnashing my teeth and flailing around just thinking about her. She died, so she won't live the life she has? Soooo normal. Her life is Clare's to use? Totally totally just chilling

[twitchystitchwitch]

I want to make an account meant for more horny posts, so they don't get tossed here. But also I don't know if all of us want to have our own or if we want to share so that is making it hard to pick. It feels like all having separate would get overwhelming, but we're all into wildly different things and tagging is hard to remember.