#chara's posts

[butterflyknifepoisoning]

It's them. Autism and ADHD.

[gallantblade]

Nothing changes your relationship with fiction quite like being a fictional character yourself.

- Chara Dreemurr

[butterflyknifepoisoning]

In my experience Chara fictives tend to fall in one of three categories:

Hot

Annoying edgelord

Precious bean who must be shown the true beauties of the world

[butterflyknifepoisoning]

Walking headfirst into discourse about me right after introjecting really fucked me up. It's been years now, but having a stranger tell me to my face that I'm evil deeply reinforced my distrust and dislike for humanity and the punitive hatefulness of human culture.

There's nothing to be done about it now. I just hope other Charas who have introjected more recently have managed to avoid the worst of that.

[gallantblade]

Gay men draw Asgore in a very, very specific way. And that's not bad, there's clear love and appreciation going into that art. It's just... strange seeing people very clearly wanting to fuck my dad. -Chara

[butterflyknifepoisoning]

Doomed by the narrative this doomed by the narrative that, back in my day that was just called being doomed.

[butterflyknifepoisoning]

I'm not sure what to do with the fact that my memories seem to have excised the existence of the Player in Undertale's story. Largely this isn't an issue- almost all of the Player's role in the Neutral and Pacifist routes can be handwaved away; it's very easy to cast them as little more than a quiet mediator between Frisk and I's conflicting impulses. Any agency they have can be parceled out between us with very few hiccups.

Of course, this falls apart in the Genocide Route, in which the Player tears up Undertale's story by its roots. But I'm not a post-Genocide Chara; I am not the demon that comes when you call their name. So the discrepancy must still be minimal, right? Well... I think it is. But like with W.D. Gaster, memory is unreliable, and it's very difficult to prove an absence.

For whatever reason, acknowledging that I am canon-divergent isn't enough to dispel the occasion feeling that I might have been, to some extent, a puppet on strings I never got a chance to see.

[butterflyknifepoisoning]

Trying to find plural blogs to follow is so disheartening. Maybe it's just my trust issues, but even if a system seems chill and approachable I can't be sure that they aren't exclusionist, or that they wouldn't take issue with my romantic and sexual relationships.

At some point I should make the effort to shed this assumption that strangers are likely to jump down my throat for perceived heinous flaws, because I really do enjoy meeting new people.