okay so. i was thinking on this and discussing with a friend, and these are my honest thoughts on the flaws/issues that would pop up in a rls with these hq characters, especially when they're in high school lol. under the cut bc it gets a little long!
atsumu: his fanclub warns each other to stay away from dating him not out of a sense of jealousy or possessiveness, but because dating atsumu is easily the worst experience you will have in your entire life. getting into a relationship with him isn't the hard part, surprisingly, because he's amiable to anything that strokes his ego. the real challenge is in actually dating him, and there's a reason most people who approach him lose their crush when they talk to him for an extended period of time. he's demanding and selfish, and he's the sort of person who expects you to drop everything for him when he wants attention, but will never make any effort to reciprocate.
in fact, atsumu gets irritated at "clingy" behavior and will dump you with no hesitation if he finds you annoying, if you ask him for too much that he doesn't want to give, or if you "get in the way of volleyball." he's hypocritical to the extreme, picky, testy, and really just expects you to stroke his ego and flatter him and little else. he might be willing to play along and act the part of a good boyfriend if he's in the right mood for it, but it won't be consistent by any means. he does get offended if you choose to break up with HIM, though. like wtf. were't you getting along so well?????? (he told you not to text him during interhigh tryouts because he would NOT respond and has more important things to focus on and then promptly forgot he said that).
osamu: osamu is more popular to date than atsumu, a fact osamu holds over his head endlesslyyyy. and on the surface, osamu is leagues better than his brother. he doesn't expect you to be a decorative lamppost, for one, and for another, he actually does appropriate boyfriend activities, like take you on dates, bring you little gifts on anniversaries and holidays, and walk home with you after school. however, osamu also can't really keep a partner because he has the opposite problem of atsumu: instead of being demanding, he's inoffensive and lukewarm, and never deviates from that.
it's not as osamu ever sets out to make you feel neglected, but he's just shy of passive. he can go through the basic motions to get by, but he won't really put in the attention or effort to do more than that if he doesn't find it interesting enough. this is something that becomes more apparent the longer you date him. he goes out with you less because he really really wants to and more because he doesn't have a good enough reason to say no. having mutual feelings for him is enough; he just assumes things will fall into place and work out because you both like each other. osamu is not the sort of guy who would ever trouble himself to do anything he doesn't want to, so he also gets irritated if you push him too hard. also, he won't ever linger over a breakup, whether he initiates it or not. out of sight, out of mind.
oikawa: oikawa?? with a flaw?? when he's the best, most charming boyfriend of all time?? it's hard to find an issue with him, and that's precisely the issue itself. it's just so easy with oikawa, because he's sweet. he's dedicated. he's attentive. he's a great boyfriend both on paper and in practice, despite how carefree he may act, but he won't let YOU be a good partner. friction is inescapable in any healthy relationship, but there is no friction with him because oikawa is so focused on making sure you have a good time and that he's living up to the expectations laid out for him that he never really opens up.
it's to the point you never really feel like you get to know him, because he wants to the Best Boyfriend Ever, and wants to succeed in both fulfilling his role and maintaining the positive way people view him. he's really good at dedicating himself to others, even if it means neglecting himself unintentionally. it's reminiscent of the way he plays setter, actually, and how he dedicates himself to his spikes on court. maybe romance, to some extent, is just another calculation for him. also, as much as he cares about you, he will always put volleyball first and has trouble balancing priorities as a result. oikawa will inevitably stretch himself too thin in an effort to make something work, which just serves to make you feel a little exhausted, dating someone who's always putting on this performance but who you don't really ever know.
kenma: listen. it's really, really difficult to be a position where kenma 1. likes you and 2. likes you enough to DATE you. so even getting that far is already a success in and of itself. congratulations on unlocking a hidden achievement! but kenma, despite appearances to the contrary or initial expectations, is a difficult person to date. he's a specific combination of both obstinate AND lazy in the sense that he will put his blood, sweat, and tears into seeing something through if he chooses to do it, but he also digs his feet in and refuses to compromise if he doesn't want to.
also, kenma has a habit of tossing things aside when he gets bored, and he demands to be constantly entertained. if the relationship ever gets inconvenient, or annoying, or if he simply loses all interest for whatever reason, he will break up with you without a second thought. it's also REALLY easy for him to act spoiled in a relationship because you might feel like you need to capitulate to his whims, but that also runs the risk of him getting bored if you're not giving him anything interesting to work with or you're too passive. but he also hates it if you push him all the time and impose your demands on him, which is another way to make him turn tail and run. it's a tricky balancing act with kenma! he's very very very picky. unfortunately, he treats dating like a video game run.
kita: so kita shinsuke is actually the world's most perfect man and would have no flaws as a boyfriend ever as a result. JK!!! there are some flaws to kita's behaviors. in general, i do think kita is genuinely one of the best boyfriends of the bunch in the sense that he's steadfast, attentive, caring, and devoted in a way that makes it feel like you've been dating for years instead of weeks. HOWEVER, you're at a loss if you expect traditional romanticism from kita. he will not whisper sweet nothings into your ear. he will not go out of his way to act physically affectionate. in fact, people might be startled you're dating at all if they don't know kita very well.
additionally, he's pretty intense. he doesn't treat dating casually, because it's another aspect of life that he applies himself fully to. if he's going to do it, he's going to do it well, you know? so if you want a fling, you're out of luck. kita also has a very strict routine that he adheres to, and it's very easy for him to integrate you into that. he doesn't expect you to go out of your way to act like he does or to suddenly structure your life around his routines, but he does expect you to respect his daily rituals, or at the very least, not get in the way of them. perfectionism is daunting in a boyfriend, and he won't budge on the things that he thinks are vital. you might end up feeling like another task successfully completed that he checks off on his list.......
You take a deep breath, then let it out, and lean in closer to him, until you’re face to face, so close that if you lean in further, your noses might have brushed. “I want you to go out with me, Kenma.” He doesn’t speak, and you take this as your cue to go on. “I need someone to practice with, and you’re the only one I could think of! What happens if I date someone in the future and I don’t know what to do? Besides, I’ve played so many dating sims, I think it’s only right that I actually get to experience it for myself!”
Kenma closes his eyes and lets out a long groan, burying his face in his hands. It’s not the reaction you were expecting.
“Kenma?” you ask.
His voice is muffled as he says, “I don’t want to.”
“What? Why not?”
“It sounds annoying. I don’t want to do it.”
You lean back on his bed, frowning. “Come on, Kenma! It’ll be easy. You just gotta act like my boyfriend for a few weeks. And go on some dates, too. It’s fine! It’s just practice. It’s not real!”
Kenma lets out another long-suffering sigh at that. “I don’t want to do it.”
“Come on!” You smack at his shoulder with the flat of your palm, but Kenma doesn’t budge. “Kenma, please! I can’t ask anyone else.”
“No.”
You finger the ends of his bleached hair, twining them around your own. The strands are dry and split at the ends; Kenma doesn’t take good care of his hair at all. You’ve known him long enough to know that Kenma is unrelentingly stubborn; if he doesn’t want to do something, then he won’t do it, and nothing can convince him otherwise.
“Fine,” you say. “You don’t have to. I can ask Kuroo instead. Do you think he would mind?”
“Don’t ask Kuroo.”
“Why?”
Kenma is still staring down at his lap, but he finally looks up at your question. His eyes are narrowed to a cat-like slit, glittering like marbles. “Because I’ll do it.”
kenma fic wip but i've decided to overhaul my current concept and go in a new direction so this will likely never see the light of day + i'll need to repurpose it but i thought it was really cute and wanted to share it as it is lol <3
okay so. here's my redemption arc tm for the hq boys and ways i think you can make a rls work with them + their good traits compares to their bad ones <333
atsumu: i think atsumu functions well in a relationship where he feels challenged, or at the very least, has to work to impress someone. he's at his best when he thinks he has to work hard to earn something, because he gets complacent fast if he thinks it's just going to be handed to him. so if he feels like he has to earn your respect, and then has to KEEP it, then he's going to throw himself into it 100%. besides, he hates losing, and he always puts in the work for things that he thinks are worth it.
also, despite his numerous flaws (childish, arrogant, competitive, etc), atsumu is also sincere and honest in a way that makes it hard to fully dislike him. he likes what he likes, and he has no qualms about making it known, no matter what other people may think. his love is very very earnest so you will never doubt that he cares about you, because he treats it like second nature, an act as easy as breathing. if atsumu's in your corner, then he's in it 100%. as much as he wants you to push him, he'll also push you 120% because he has high expectations for you, and he believes in you more than anyone else. he won't accept anything less!!
osamu: the secret to a good relationship with osamu is communication AND taking initiative. unfortunately, osamu expects the other person to just read his mind (side effect of growing up with atsumu) and has a habit of being complacent as long as things are (seemingly) going well. you really do have to sit him down and tell him what you want, to lay clear your expectations and give him that little kick, as osamu has a habit of wanting to rise to any challenge presented to him.
also!! osamu might be more subtle about it, but just like atsumu, if he likes you, then he's in your corner 100%. he will put in persistent, steady effort for the things he thinks matters, and never back down at all. he's also very observant, so it is a little unnerving about how well he picks up on all your habits and traits, even ones you might not be aware of, and how readily he incorporates them into his own life and your own interactions together. sometimes it feels like he knows you need something before you do. did i mention he's also patient? once he's set his mind to something, he WILL see it through.
oikawa: honestly, the thing with oikawa is that you need to see past his facade, and you need to have the wherewithal to be veryyy upfront and honest with him. it's very rare that he ever lets that initial guard and facade drop, so you have to be the one to break through his unintentional walls, to reach out to the person he loathes letting other people see. he needs someone who can push him to grow in the same way he pushes others, who will be there for him when he can't go to anyone else, so there also needs to be a sense of mutual respect and camaraderie. his partner should be his friend first and foremost.
when oikawa is relaxed in a relationship, he has the habit of acting a bit more bratty and childish than he would with anyone else. it's a sign of closeness, if he feels like he can relax and trust you to accept him even at his worst or when he's less put together. if he's willing to tease you or mess with you in any capacity, then you know you've gotten somewhere with him. he will always bring out the best in you, though, because he is encouraging and thoughtful like no one else, and he will always believe in you 100%. just make sure you're willing to believe in and support him, too.
kenma: the secret to managing kenma is both ridiculously easy and difficult all at once: you need to catch his interest. i think the trick to both earn and then subsequently keep his interest is to be the sort of person that always strives to improve yourself and take on new risks, new challenges. kenma likes novelty. he likes people who are always doing new and unexpected things, who go against his passive, assumed expectations and who make him want to want to grow in response and meet you tit for tat.
when kenma is at his best in a relationship, he latches onto you like a very loyal and clingy cat. you think this is your personal space? wrong. it's also HIS personal space. he's a little bratty, a little demanding, but kenma thrives on mutual respect and a mixture of stability and novelty. he's not a fan of hierarchy in any way and doesn't like being forced to do something, but give him enough trust and space and leave the door open and you'll find that he'll always come back to you in one way or another. he wants his independence without being pressured into acting a certain way, but he'll always pull through for you when you need it.
kita: i think to be in a good relationship with kita, regardless of whether it's romantic or not, you need to earn his respect. this doesn't necessarily mean that you need to act in a way that he always agrees with or in a manner similar to him, but that you are earnest, steadfast, and devoted to your own goals. kita values consistency and diligence, so his respect isn't going to be immediately earned, or even obvious once you do earn it, but like all good things, it's worth waiting for.
also. i think if you understand kita, then you know that, even if he isn't going to act super outwardly affectionate, he is consistent and earnest with his own feelings. he's not someone who's capable of loving shallowly or casually, and he devotes himself to you the same he devotes himself to volleyball practice or his daily routine. he will always carve out time in his schedule for you, he will always show up for you, and he will make the active choice to love you each and every day, in ways both big and small, no matter the inconvenience or difficulty.
ranking some hq characters and how jealous they tend to go lol. setter heavy bc the setters r consistently the most beautiful characters in this series
oikawa: 6/10. honestly oikawa is a lot more measured about his feelings than he lets on. i don't think he's that easy to provoke into jealousy BUT he is fond of dramatics and he is a brat at heart. so his usual response is to joke around and ham up his reaction so you'll laugh and call him obnoxious. but if it's a deeper insecurity, one where he actually feels a little threatened, then he lets his feelings simmer until they explode outward and he acts in really petty, subtle, bizarre ways to the object of jealousy. he's a cool prettyboy with a reputation to maintain!! he can't be caught acting weird or feeling jealous!!! even though everyone around him already thinks he's acting super weird and knows he's jealous!!!
suga: 4/10. suga is actually pretty normal about his feelings, but that doesn't mean he's immune to jealousy lol. he's responsible and reasonable, so he tends to take his feelings in stride and like. actually talk over how he feels with you. but there are times when his jealousy explodes and he tries to act calm but he's actually punching a pillow 10000 times in his head. like haha nooooooooo it's not a big deal he really doesn't care!! then he gets super pouty and pokes you and drapes himself over you and goes don't leave meeeee and won't let go until you promise you won't. super annoying about it but he's your annoying boyfriend so you win some, lose some.
atsumu: 11/10. are you kidding me?? he's literally the most jealous man alive. king of being petty. not even osamu can reign him in. it's actually not that easy to set him off bc he's pretty respectful of your space and life, but if someone strikes the right nerve, then it's over. he brings it up to 1000% immediately. he hates when people presume on you. he hates when someone interrupts your time together. he hates when other people confess to you as if you aren't already dating HIM. he's super childish about it and has no qualms about immediately getting in the other's person face, and gets sooooo annoying about it bc he hates when people try to take what's his.
kenma: 2/10. actually not a jealous person at all tbh. it's soooo hard to get him jealous over anything bc that requires him to get worked up, which is wayyy too much effort and time for some nonsensical result. also acting like some super-possessive boyfriend is cringe... he's never going to be begrudge you for having friends, and anyone who crushes on you is irrelevant bc you already have him LOL. he's surprisingly prideful and stubborn in that aspect! however. kenma will get a little jealous if he feels like someone is encroaching on your time with him. it's annoying bc he rarely lets people close enough to be ok with having them around all the time, and he doesn't like having that challenged.
kita: 0/10. never gets jealous. look at this man; he's serene, loving, trusting, dedicated. he would never doubt your love for him and never give you a reason to doubt him. he's not the most passionate person alive, but his love is consistent and unwavering; once he says he's yours, he's yours forever. never the first to break off a relationship. you would get jealous of him more often bc hes a hot young farmer if not for the fact (1) he feels bad about making you feel insecure in any way and always immediately reassures you/lightly teases you and (2) his grandma is GUNNING for you two to get married so she wards off any other suitors like they're pesky flies found in her kitchen.
